Dear Andy

Dear Andy,

Eleven years.

Eleven long years since we last spoke the night before that fateful morning. Eleven years since your life was tragically cut short. Eleven years of a life without you.

Somehow, it feels even longer.

This morning, the anniversary of your death feels strangely unlike those of the past. Why is that? Does time really heal all wounds? Can it truly alleviate the pain that reason cannot? Is my memory really losing hold of all those cherished details that are so significantly and transcendentally important? Could I possibly be failing to remember everything about a person who was so much a part of my lfe?

Is this what it means to get over the loss of a loved one?

I spoke to your mom last night, Andy. We talked about how we wanted to stop using 9/11 as a way to mourn you. It's too painful. Of course we remember you every day but maybe we should stop using this day as a reminder. Maybe we should move on with our lives. Maybe we need to start letting go of the past.

But can we really ever? Is that even possible? How does one even do that?

I sometimes think about what if 9/11 had never happened. How different would the world be today? The days and months following the collapse of the Twin Towers brought out the best in people, and for a brief time, I felt as if we, as a nation, were united in our desire for peace, our respect for the dead, and our love of country. Americans came together without pride or prejudice, and the rest of the world stood by us in solidarity and support.

Eleven years later, I feel like we've lost something. America feels different. It's a fractured and contentious place. Perhaps that's due to the fact that this is an election year but I deeply miss that spirit of community, humility, and grace that swept both America and the world.

More importantly, when I think about what if 9/11 had never happened, I think about how much richer my life would be with you still in it. 

I imagine meeting you and Kyle in Central Park and tossing a football around before grabbing dinner at his mom's house. I picture you taking the Peanut out for an afternoon of shopping and ice cream on a Saturday afternoon. I envision us hanging out at the beach, cooking dinner, and having marathon discussions about life, love, and how much we hate the NY Knicks.

But most of all, Andy, I always see us laughing.

It's one of the great ironies in my forty-three years on this planet that, more than anyone else whom I've ever known, you were the one who always taught me that life was short and that we were put here briefly to enjoy it and live it as fully as possible. Whenever I was depressed, you were always the one to cheer me up. Whenever I needed someone to talk to, I could always count on you.

I was only thirty-two years old when I lost you yet, eleven years later, I feel that the lessons your friendship taught me affect me even today. You showed me lessons about life that I will never forget. You taught me how to be a father. You taught me how to be a spouse. You taught me how to be a friend.Your impact on my life will never be replaced. Nor will it ever be forgotten.

I love and miss you terribly, brother.

I always have and I always will.

Forever your friend,
PIerre

 

Andrew Golkin, 1970-2001

Comments

[John]

Pierre,

I have been a long-time reader and today I have (as I have done in years past) pointed people to come and read your always moving letters to Andy.

I have, on my own blog Order from Chaos, posted about 9/11 each year.

I wish you peace on this day - and always.

Brave Astronaut

[Jane]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Andy's family, and all your friends. May we never forget the tremendous effect this tragedy had on so many individual lives.

[Busy Mom]

This is the first place I come each 9/11.

[julie]

Thank you. I come here every 9.11 to read your words. They always help. I lost a dear friend in the Colin Ferguson/Long Island railroad shooting. I still hear her laugh, think of her always and talk to her often....Lives that are cut short by anger and hate can never be rationalized!

[Lisbeth]

Thank you for sharing this annual letter to your dear friend. It makes me cry every year.

Never forget.

[Marci]

One of the first things I thought of this morning was your letter to Andy. His memory lives through you and the countless people you have touched with your writing.

I agree with you that America is different today, and it very likely is because it's an election year.

Thank you.

[Ames K]

Every year your words make me cry. Your letters to Andy are always beautiful. I'm sure he is smiling down at your from his castle in the sky. Thank you for sharing your memory of him with the rest of us.

[Dadcation]

What "Busy Mom" said.

[DefendUSA]

A repost of my comment from the other thread--I want you to know that I remembered our friend Andy today. I finally visited the WTC Memorial and I was absolutely stunned, crushed and had no words to describe how I felt upon seeing the proximity of everything and thinking of the destruction and death there. I was going to find Andy's name but in my incredulous state of mind, I just said a prayer, and swore I would come here to let you know that a perfect stranger who reads your blog remembered your friend that day and today on this day, September 11, 2012.

[Stacy]

Checking in on you, as I do occasionally but always on September 11.

Peace.

Stacy
(formerly Slices of)

[Sunny]

An eloquently beautiful writer, your letters to Andy always move me. Your posts every year are always full of love, compassion, and thoughts for us all.

[Ray]

I wish I had a friendship as close to the one you had.

[Julie Guerin]

Such a beautiful remembrance of your friend Andy. I too come here every year for your letter. So thoughtful & compassionate. I'm sure he's smiling down on you. I truly hope time brings you peace.

[Devra]

And again my heart hurts for you, me and all of us who grieve on this day especially.

[Grandnummah]

I thought of you and your tribute letters to Andy this morning. I didn't know anyone who perished that day but through your letters I have come to know Andy. Today, I mourn his loss along with you. Take care and take the Peanut out for ice cream.

[Alli Worthington]

Beautiful.

[Tom]

sorry, buddy. God Bless.

[JustLinda]

You made me cry.

Seems like yesterday, and it seems like a million years ago.

[Rachel Goldstein]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts Pierre. Andy was a wonderful friend to us all. He will always be with you. x

[LO]

Beautiful

[Lena]

This made me cry. Thank you for your kind words. Peace be with you.

[Crystal]

Hi Pierre, I came across your information on MSN for Daddy Confessions. So I thought I'd visit your blog and take a look around. I was deeply touched by your most recent posting to Andy. I wanted to thank you for sharing.

[Margaret]

Beautiful words. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Willyn]

You've really been a good friend to him, very touching words, it makes me cry:(

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I felt as if we, as a nation, were united in our desire for peace,

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Happened to read this blog, is really a kind of fate ah, the leisure time to see your article very interesting, I'll give it covered up, look forward to your updates.

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Hi Pierre, I met your information on MSN for dad confessions. So I want to visit your blog, look around you. I was deeply touched you recently issued to Andy. I want to thank you for your sharing.

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{Thank you for|Thanks for|Many thanks for|I appreciate you for} sharing!|
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{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good
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Thanks.|
{It is|It's} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make
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{I have|I've} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish to|desire to} suggest
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Woah! I'm really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of this {site|website|blog}.

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{In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet explorer|Chrome|Opera|Firefox}.
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what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook} group shared this {site|website}
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you're {working with|using}?
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{making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
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P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being}
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind letting me know which {webhost|hosting company|web host} you're {utilizing|working with|using}?
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a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair} price?

{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever
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with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
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{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give
you a quick heads up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I'm not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something
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though! Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
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This is a topic {that is|that's|which is} {close to|near to}
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tough time|problems|trouble} locating it but, I'd like
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Either way, great {site|website|blog} and I look forward to seeing it {develop|improve|expand|grow} over time.|
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{I think|I feel|I believe} {that you|that you simply|that you
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{A great|An excellent|A fantastic} read. {I'll|I will} {definitely|certainly} be back.|
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{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love {your blog|your site|your website}..

{Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme.
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{Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
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Cheers!|
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{Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web site|site} {so|thus} i
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\

[authentic moncler jacket]

{
{I have|I've} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never
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{It's|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good
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{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
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Thanks.|
{It is|It's} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make some
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{I have|I've} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish to|desire to} suggest you {few|some} interesting
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{It's|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for me.

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{regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} this {article|post|piece of
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{nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.|
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{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really like|I like|I love} {your blog|your
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{come back|return|revisit} {once again|yet again} {since
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Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to
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{other people|others}.|
Woah! I'm really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme
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A lot of times it's {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get that "perfect balance" between {superb usability|user friendliness|usability} and {visual appearance|visual appeal|appearance}.
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{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
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{great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on
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{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend
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Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I've {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook} group shared
this {site|website} with us so I came to {give it a look|look it over|take a look|check it out}.
I'm definitely {enjoying|loving} the information. I'm {book-marking|bookmarking} and will be tweeting this to my followers!

{Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and
design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what
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of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you're {working with|using}?

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P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being} off-topic but I
had to ask!|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind letting me know which {webhost|hosting company|web host} you're {utilizing|working with|using}?
I've loaded your blog in 3 {completely different|different} {internet browsers|web browsers|browsers} and I must say this blog loads a lot {quicker|faster} then most.
Can you {suggest|recommend} a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair} price?

{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks},
I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when
people|when individuals|when folks|whenever people} {come
together|get together} and share {opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}.
Great {blog|website|site}, {keep it up|continue the good work|stick with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup. It in fact was a amusement account
it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from you!

{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick heads
up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be
running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I'm not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something
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post to let you know. The {style and design|design
and style|layout|design} look great though! Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
{Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that's|which is} {close to|near to} my heart...
{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}! {Where|Exactly where}
are your contact details though?|
It's very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to find
out any {topic|matter} on {net|web} as compared to {books|textbooks}, as I
found this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} at this
{website|web site|site|web page}.|
Does your {site|website|blog} have a contact page? I'm having {a tough time|problems|trouble} locating it but, I'd like to {send|shoot} you an {e-mail|email}.

I've got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for
your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great {site|website|blog}
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Please reply back as I'm {looking to|trying to|planning to|wanting to|hoping to|attempting to}
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{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post} {couldn't|could not} be written {any
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{Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}! I could have sworn
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{Thank you|Thanks} =)|
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{I just|I simply|I merely} wanted to {give you a|provide you with a} quick
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{I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for the|for your} {great|excellent} {info|information} {you
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Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?|
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{Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it's|it is} rare to see a
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{It's|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site
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{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
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I stumbledupon it ;) {I will|I am going to|I'm going to|I may} {come back|return|revisit} {once
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{In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet
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You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here.
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{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook} group shared this {site|website} with us so I came to {give it a look|look it
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I'm {book-marking|bookmarking} and will be tweeting this to my followers!
{Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and
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{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind
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Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing}
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{in the near future|soon} but I'm having a {tough|difficult|hard}
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I had to ask!|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind
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{utilizing|working with|using}? I've loaded your blog in
3 {completely different|different} {internet browsers|web browsers|browsers} and I must say this blog loads
a lot {quicker|faster} then most. Can you {suggest|recommend} a
good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at a
{honest|reasonable|fair} price? {Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank
you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever
people} {come together|get together} and share {opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}.
Great {blog|website|site}, {keep it up|continue the good work|stick
with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup.
It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from you!
{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a
quick heads up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be running off the
screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.

I'm not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something to do with {web browser|internet
browser|browser} compatibility but I {thought|figured} I'd post to let you know.

The {style and design|design and style|layout|design}
look great though! Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
{Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that's|which is} {close to|near to} my heart...
{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
It's very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to find out any {topic|matter} on {net|web} as compared to {books|textbooks}, as I found this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} at this {website|web site|site|web page}.|
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to {send|shoot} you an {e-mail|email}. I've got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

Either way, great {site|website|blog} and I look forward to seeing it {develop|improve|expand|grow} over time.|
{Hola|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Greetings}! I've been {following|reading} your {site|web site|website|weblog|blog} for {a long time|a while|some
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go ahead and give you a shout out from {New Caney|Kingwood|Huffman|Porter|Houston|Dallas|Austin|Lubbock|Humble|Atascocita} {Tx|Texas}!
Just wanted to {tell you|mention|say} keep up the {fantastic|excellent|great|good} {job|work}!|
Greetings from {Idaho|Carolina|Ohio|Colorado|Florida|Los angeles|California}!

I'm {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided
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I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide} here and can't wait to
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{awesome|amazing|very good|superb|good|wonderful|fantastic|excellent|great} {site|blog}!|
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{this is|that is} {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} blog.
{A great|An excellent|A fantastic} read. {I'll|I will} {definitely|certainly} be back.|
I visited {multiple|many|several|various} {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} {but|except|however} the audio {quality|feature} for audio songs {current|present|existing} at this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {marvelous|wonderful|excellent|fabulous|superb}.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time to time} and i own a similar one and i was just {wondering|curious} if you get a
lot of spam {comments|responses|feedback|remarks}?
If so how do you {prevent|reduce|stop|protect against}
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I get so much lately it's driving me {mad|insane|crazy} so any {assistance|help|support} is very much appreciated.|
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{article|post}! {It is the|It's the} little changes {that make|which
will make|that produce|that will make} {the biggest|the largest|the greatest|the most important|the most significant}
changes. {Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks} for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love {your blog|your site|your website}..

{Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme. Did you {create|develop|make|build} {this website|this site|this web
site|this amazing site} yourself? Please reply back as I'm {looking to|trying to|planning to|wanting to|hoping to|attempting to} create
{my own|my very own|my own personal} {blog|website|site}
and {would like to|want to|would love to}
{know|learn|find out} where you got this from or {what
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{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post} {couldn't|could not} be
written {any better|much better}! {Reading through|Looking at|Going
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He {always|constantly|continually} kept {talking about|preaching about} this.

{I will|I'll|I am going to|I most certainly will} {forward|send} {this article|this information|this post} to him.
{Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he'll|he's going to} {have a
good|have a very good|have a great} read. {Thank
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{Wow|Whoa|Incredible|Amazing}! This blog looks {exactly|just}
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different {topic|subject} but it has pretty much the same {layout|page layout} and design.

{Excellent|Wonderful|Great|Outstanding|Superb} choice of colors!|
{There is|There's} {definately|certainly} {a lot to|a great deal to} {know about|learn about|find out
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{You made|You've made|You have made} some {decent|good|really good} points there.

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{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What's up}, I {log on to|check|read} your {new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular basis}.
Your {story-telling|writing|humoristic} style is
{awesome|witty}, keep {doing what you're doing|up the good work|it up}!|
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{check up on|check out|inspect|investigate cross-check} new
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{I have|I've got|I have got} you {bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} {to check out|to look at} new {stuff you|things
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{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What's up}, just wanted to {mention|say|tell you}, I {enjoyed|liked|loved} this {article|post|blog post}.
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{really|greatly} appreciated!|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}!

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{A person|Someone|Somebody} {necessarily|essentially} {lend
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{Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent} {task|process|activity|job}!|
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{I have|I've} bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

{Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your
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{I will|I'll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in
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be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out of
your} writing. Cheers!|
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{I am|I'm} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with
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{I'm|I am} not sure where {you are|you're} getting your {info|information},
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{Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web
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to {improve|enhance} my {website|site|web site}!I suppose its
ok to use
\