Any time the Peanut sees a family with a lot of kids, she thinks it's absolutely hilarious.
About a year ago, she caught a few minutes of John & Kate Plus 8 and thought it was the most outrageous thing she'd ever witnessed. She was immediately hooked on the show and demanded that we watch it every night before bed. For weeks, I was inundated with questions.
How do they remember everyone's name?
What happens if they all have to poop at the same time?
Do you think they all fit in the bathtub together?
Other times, she'd sit in front of the TV with her jaw dropped, her eyes wide open and say, "Holy cow, can you believe they have all those kids? That's CRAZY!"
Whenever she says that, I always tell her, "I know. I only have YOU and I've got my hands full. CRAZY!"
That always makes her howl with laughter.
But in all honesty, I'm always in awe of parents who have more than two kids. I mean, it's one thing to play one-on-one when you have two kids but when the parents are outnumbered by their kids, can you really switch to a zone defense?
Two of my best friends recently had their third child. Being fully obsessed with babies, the Peanut loves talking about the new baby as much as she can. Last week, she had a conversation with my brother (MetroBro) that caused all of us to simultaneously laugh and hold our breaths.
As relayed by MetroBro, the conversation went like this:
"And Eliot and Sadie have a baby brother Leo and he's SO TINY! All of him is as big as my head!"
"That's very small."
"He's SO TINY! It's 'cause he was just born."
"Can you believe you were ever that small, Peanut?"
"Uh-huh!"
"And so was I! And so were your Mommy and Daddy!"
"That's 'cause EVERYONE is tiny when they're just born."
"That's right."
"EVERYONE."
(thoughtful pause)
"Uncle Nels? How were the first people made? If they didn't have a Mommy and Daddy?"
"Uh... Did you ask Mommy or Daddy this question?"
"No! I'm asking you!"
"Okay, well, hmm, do you know what evolution is?"
"No."
"You know how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's a kind of evolution, when an animal changes into another animal."
"No, but I mean the first PEOPLE."
"Yes. The first people came when human beings changed from other animals into people."
(silence)
"Does that make sense?"
"Uh-huh."
(silence)
"And, uh, some people also believe that God made the first people. Through, you know, magic."
(silence)
"Are you still thinking about this?"
"Uh-huh."
"It's pretty interesting, isn't it?"
"Uh-huh..."
(MetroBro changes subject before she can think about it any more)
While I struggle with my faith, MetroBro is an avowed atheist. That's why the "magic" comment cracks me up. Also the fact that later in the conversation, he compared God to Santa Claus.
When BossLady heard that part, she sternly warned MetroBro, "Hey, dude. It's one thing to teach her to question the existence of God but DO NOT FUCK WITH SANTA CLAUS!"
The Peanut is 5 years old. I'm not sure I'm ready to have conversations with her about God, evolution, or the birds and the bees.
Speaking of the birds and the bees, check out this hilarious video of Julia Sweeney having "the talk" with her 8-year-old daughter.
Have any of you guys had "the talk" with your kids? How old were they? Did it go ok or was it a comedy of errors? I want stories, people!
I love Julia Sweeney, mainly because she is an outspoken atheist and a big defender of evolution (as ridiculous as it is that evolution needs a defense).
My girls (5&7) pepper me with intelligent god questions to their credit, and fortunately for me, they rarely ask about sex...so far.
I'm much happier to deal with the make-believe stuff anyway, sex is much more complicated.
Posted by: Mitch McDad | July 01, 2010 at 01:26 AM
Tell him he got off rather easy. I was watching cartoons with my then 5yo cousin when he threw this my way: "Je.sus is our father. And Go.d is Je.sus father...So who's Go.d's father?"
Posted by: Happybell | July 01, 2010 at 08:52 AM
You will get to go through this again in about seven to ten years. Remember what what said!
Posted by: Judy | July 10, 2010 at 11:32 PM
How to Bad Faith Lawyers & Health insurance contracts can be difficult to read and understand. Customer service representatives may not always provide correct or complete information. So how do you appeal a claim that is...Getting your medical expenses covered by your health plan can be frustrating, but a little knowledge can go a long way.
Posted by: California Bad Faith | July 13, 2010 at 02:51 AM
your daughter would howl at my family. there were seven of us. know what happens on a birthday when one kid gets toy trucks and no one else gets anything? pandemonium. don't get me started on fighting for the bathroom in the morning. or at any time for that matter. and the hand me downs.
Posted by: Boom Trucks | July 14, 2010 at 08:54 PM
We will always be faced with these questions. You are doing the right things. There are no wrong things, except for doing nothing.
Posted by: Jeff | July 19, 2010 at 09:54 AM
Your brother is only trying to tell her what he thinks. It is really up to her. She will have a bunch of people telling her how to think about things.
Posted by: Donna | July 30, 2010 at 09:13 PM
Wow, it's been awhile since I've read your blog. I think most parents of multiple children tend to luck out and have at least one really chill kid who requires very little attention and/or maintenance.
And my parents never gave me the "Talk". Which isn't particularly surprising considering that they are Korean.
Posted by: anna | August 07, 2010 at 09:39 AM
Sorry, to double post, but I just thought of a book we discusses in my children's lit class this week. Robie Harris' "It's so Amazing" does a pretty comprehensive job of describing the entire process from insemination to pregnancy. It's also challenged and/or banned due to the nature of its contents. However, it is written for parents and children so it's up to the parent to decide what parts of it to discuss with his/her child and what parts to leave out "for next time". There's also another book written by Harris that's for younger children but has similar content. I just can't remember the title.
Posted by: anna | August 07, 2010 at 09:42 AM
I love to see what you have to write about. You always put a smile on my face.
Posted by: Sandra | August 15, 2010 at 01:35 PM
Your page is always so much fun to read. I makes me take a closer look at my life and see how much I am missing out on.
Posted by: Jessy | September 05, 2010 at 03:43 PM
You know the activity being filmed was spontaneous. However, children introduced episodes of the television show and transitions. DVDs and other merchandise were sold involving the children's appearance.
Posted by: online dissertations | October 22, 2011 at 01:32 PM