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October 20, 2009


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I'm living the fantasy, my friend. And I'm going to write about it. Just like you are. It seems you're living the life you want, and love expressing it.

Paige Jennifer

My sister, mom to two tots, envies my ability to pick up and go. She loves her children but often ponders childless what-ifs.

She's especially envious because in July I will receive my MFA and I've already spent two months figuring out how to pull off your Paris idea. Besides the issue of selling my condo and ditching my car, I can somewhat speak French but haven't conjugated a verb since 1992. Do we think that will matter?


paul is right. write. you have a gift.


Of course everyone fantasizes. Of course, my fantasies usually involve doing the something else fabulous for a little while, then returning to what I live now.

And about sushi - you mean you want to own Masi, is what you're saying?


I can totally relate. I'm 35 with 3 kids, a work-a-holic husband. And I stay at home, make half-hearted attempts at painting. I gave up an art career and would never push my kids aside just to paint. I think about 'what could have been' all the time. Makes me feel really guilty. But somehow that fantasy is a safe place. It makes me feel happy to imagine another me, but not me. My doppelganger with awesomely layered, long, side-swept banged hair whipping around with paint on her cheeks. Converse on her feet, skinny jeans and carrying a canvas to some amazing gallery that doesn't sell art. It just shows art so people can see it and absorb culture. I can't do that when I'm 45!


Probably I'd wish I had kids. Weird.


I'm a single mother with four kids, and, as I've been a parent nearly my entire adult life, I can't even begin to imagine life minus the children. Maybe I'm too literally minded, or maybe I just intertwine my sense of self too much w/ those pesky munchkins.

However---there are many financial struggles, and I keep a running list of our "better life" and buy the items one by one to make it so. Likewise, the chickens and I talked about our dream house, and wrote down its attributes, as it seems having a specific goal in mind is the best way to make it happen.



41 is not old by the way. :)
Your blog is so refreshing compared to the singaporean mummies one who can only talk about the happiness of parenthood , which always make me question if there is something wrong with me always grousing in my own.
By the way, one of your fantasies about living Paris was what that sparked of this comment. We probably are along the same line, except that i really cannot imagine my life without my son now. My version of the Paris is, living there with him, wait tables or whatever crap, but just with him and no hubs.
Without kid? Prob living in Tokyo, teach and party in my free time.


We all do the best we can or want. I could do more with my life, but I think it is great to work hard while I am at work and play as hard as I work. I may not have anyone remember me when I am gone, but you never get the real story about history anyways.


This is interesting to think about. I would not get my head too turned around about it. Your life is your life. I am glad that you like to spend time with your beautiful daughter. To me that is the most important thing.


You explain it so, well. I love to read you post. You always make me think, good or bad. Thanks.


You have said what alot of us are thinking. I love your articles.


I think the q are going to throw a lot of ppl into a loop cos you are going to worry or dream differently either situation given!

I guess for me; grateful while being single cos I'll outlive the freedom one day, and grateful when I have kids one day cos they'll grow up too soon.

If I dont have both, at least I have gratitude which makes the days short. Somehow, that seems sad, but I dont live life thinking "What if."


In the shop ed hardy we can buy different

Sean Sutton

I know you wrote this quite some time ago... but it's never too late for a comment. Thanks for this. It made me laugh - and relate. It will also help me to be more honest in my own blog. It's sometimes hard to be honest when the whole world's reading, but then, the honest posts are the best ones.

Oh, and in my "Secret Life"(a great song by Cohen, by the way), I'd be an important but bourgeois diplomat and live in Paris. I'd also write novels and for sexy magazines like Vanity Fair.


Yuck on all of the above except for the Godiva coikoes. But then I saw that they cost $43.00 which is obscene. I sat behind Jake and his girlfriend Reese Witherspoon at the play August: Osage County in NY last spring and I admit they were a very attractive couple. But he was wearing a shirt, thank God. (Would he really take a photo like that or was his head grafted onto that body in PhotoShop?) But then they left during intermission. WTF?

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