Cherish Every Milestone: Whassup, Santa!

Part of the reason that I write this blog is because I truly love being a father and I get a kick out of writing about the lighter side of it all.

However, at the same time, I'm immensely fascinated by child development. I'm a firm believer that our identities are shaped not only by the sum of our life experiences but also by how we deal with them. That's why when the BossLady's father was passing from cancer and the Peanut was facing things a three-year-old should never have to face, I spent an inordinate amount of time speaking to child psychologists, poring over the latest child development studies, and seriously thinking about how best to frame the whole experience for her.

It's funny watching a kid grow up. At the early stages, they tend to emulate and pick up things from those around them. That's why it never surprised me to find that my daughter thought it was freaking hilarious when she farted on the dog, walked around the apartment with underwear on her head, pretended to read the newspaper on the toilet, or did the "shake your bootie dance" in public.

Gee, I wonder where she got all that from!

But now, she's at a stage where I'm starting to see more of her own individual personality come out and I have to admit...it's fucking awesome. Of course, you see it at earlier stages. Except now that she's four, she's constantly adding her own twist to things. For those of you with younger kids, it's hard to explain and I wish I could convey the experience better but I'm at a loss for words. I'll have to explore this some other time when I'm not simultaneously drinking a scotch and watching SportsCenter in the background.

Anyway, today the Peanut got in argument with some kid at daycare and the other kid teased her. My daughter's reply? "Hey! You know what? You're not being very nice. Santa's not bringing you ANYTHING this year!" When I asked her if that was really a nice thing to say to one of her close friends, the Peanut turned to me and replied, "It's ok, dude. I was just kidding."

Hmmm, maybe the apple never falls far from the tree after all.

Anyway, I think I'm just a little blown away right now because, last night, BossLady had the Peanut write out a letter to Santa. Of course, my 4-year-old daughter can't spell a single word so she had to explicitly state what she wanted to say to Santa and my wonderfully patient wife had to spell out each and every word, letter by letter. In fact, BossLady told me that if the Peanut actually wrote everything she wanted to say, the letter probably would have been 20 pages long and taken two days to write.

Naturally, even writing the shortened version took a long time but, in the end, I thought it was kind of cool that the first letter my daughter has ever written was to Santa and, in a very brief way, encapsulated not only everything that she is about right now but also everything I love about her.

Check it out, yo...

Translation:

Dear Santa...I wish you a Merry Christmas. I love you and Rudolph too. I would like a princess dress. I'm a very good girl. Thank you. Ok.

The drawing is of Santa and a giant incarnation of Rudolph. I really dig how Rudolph's antlers look like UHF antennas. But the best part is when I asked her what those three things behind Rudolph that looked like upside-down lollipops were, she replied, "Silly Daddy. That's reindeer poop!"

God damn, I love this kid.

Comments

[Geo]

Reindeer poop! Why of course it is! What would you expect to find behind a reindeer? Brilliant if you ask me.

[Nancy]

I wish I had a dad like you when I was growing up. I'd be shocked if my father ever spent more than 5 seconds thinking about being a dad or raising kids. The Peanut will be so much better off in life having had a dad like you.

[mamazilla]

make sure you get the "right" princess dress... a year ago santa made the mistake of getting the "wrong" one and now the santa letters are like legal briefs... :) btw - we moved on from poop to the macabre... everything is bloody and chopped up here... but the paloma is still kidding too, dude.

[CJ]

My daughter is three and isn't very good at writing letters. This weekend, we suggested that she draw the things that she wanted to get from Santa. I'm not kidding when I say that the kid must have gone through twenty sheets of paper. Man, is she going to get a big surprise on Christmas day. Doesn't she know that Santa in a recession too?

[Issa]

Holy crap MD, when did she get so big? "It's ok dude, I was just kidding"...man she's like a little you.

Shit, I guess mine are that big now too.

I love watching them grow, learn new things and become the funny ass kids they are today. But some days it goes by a little too fast.

[Buck]

That's funny. My daughter is two and cracks me up daily with her personality. I blog about it a lot

[Ryan]

I hear you, MD. My daughter is four also and recently it seems like every day where she'll say something that just makes my jaw drop.

[Celeste]

You are right on the money--seeing their personalities blossom is JUST the coolest. I can't get over how naturally happy and non-neurotic my kid is. She just rolls with it. I DEMAND a maternity test!

[jeramy]

THAT my friend IS hilarious! our kids say amazing things too. it makes it all worth it...well sort of...at least it gives us stuff to blog about. cheers!

[misfithausfrau]

Very cute. Have a Merry Christmas!

[Father Muskrat]

Oh yeah! Reindeer poop. I thought y'all were under attack or something. Either bombs or giant sperm cells.

I can't wait til my 2-year-old writes stuff.

I'm also glad to see you like Dreamland.

[Richie]

I guess I must have the maturity level of a 4-year-old girl because reindeer poop was the first thing i thought of.

[Spontaneous Mini]

Ohh Yaa, me is sure now that Peanut is the reason I am hopeful about parenthood.She has an awesome imagination.
Hope Peanut is getting her Princess Dress, although something tells me she already has some.
Merry Christmas to Peanut, BossLady and You.

ps: There is an award for you on my blog do accept :-)

[Tricia from Portland]

I'm single and don't have any kids but I love reading your blog not only because are you funny and a great writer but also because your love for your daughter always shines through so strongly. I'm sure it helps that the Peanut is absolutely adorable and sounds like she has a great personality!

[metro mama]

They are a riot, aren't they!

I love how you document the good.

[Mama Nabi]

uh... so is that lollipop thing behind Santa Santa poop?

Kudos to BossLady... dude, I can barely sit through a session of writing "MOM". I am very hopeful for age 4.

Ah, the Shake Your Bootie dance in the public... I think only little girls can pull that off without too many weird looks.

[BossLady]

Actually, it's not a picture of Santa. It's a picture of her with Rudolph. What's funny about the pic is that she drew FIVE legs first before anything else.

[Heather]

I swear to God that every time I come here, I want to have a kid right away. You always make parenting sound like such a blast.

[Sara M.]

Princess dresses must be the new must-have fashion item for the preschool set. My daughter has been bugging us constantly about Santa bringing her a princess dress. And when I say constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY!

[MyKianaKeiki]

Love the letter and the picture. Reindeer poop! Glad to know my daughter is not the only one obsessed with poop and farting. Her father taught her to sing, "Farts are fun. Farts are good, but if you're not careful, you'll go poop, poop, poop. Poop, poop, poop." Have a great Holidays!

[denese]

adorably hilarious, as always! i can't wait until my now 4-month-old is 4 years old and telling other kids they're not getting anything from santa. well, actually i can, because baby = delicious.

thank you for being such a fantastic example!

[Maternal Mirth]

Yeah, Rudolph totally poops a lot.

I love this stage, too. With the exception of the newly developed ability to roll their eyes.

*That* particular "development" I could do without.

Wow, the letter is great! At school, my son (age 6) is learning to write words phonetically. We were told that we shouldn't worry about the spelling at this point. I think it's a great way for them to start writing.

[NG]

She's awesome!

[Leora]

OMG, that letter killed me! Could the Peanut be ANY cuter? She's absolutely previous, MD.

[Esther]

"Silly Daddy." I love it when my kids shake their heads and look at me like, "Poor mom, she's missing her brain."

[Estelle]

The Peanut's letter to Santa is sooooo cute! I can't wait until my twins are that age.

[papa2hapa]

Dude, even I could tell that was reindeer poop. I can also tell that Santa was feeding Rudolph alfalfa that day. Bad Santa!

[Papa Bradstein]

That's an excellent self-portrait by the Peanut, although that drawing does make Rudolph's ass look fat.

What's with the "OK"? Do you get that when she talks too? We get it regularly around here, "OK. I'm going to get my guitar and sing a song. OK. I'm ready to sing now. OK. Now I'm sitting down. OK."

Somehow, we get all those OK's and not one "dude." Maybe something skipped a generation.

[Janelle]

Every time I come over to read one of your posts, it makes me wish I had a little girl. The Peanut's wish to get a Princess dress from Santa is so cute. Don't get me wrong. I have three boys and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. However, the pre-holiday season around here is filled with NON-STOP requests for BB guns, bows and arrows, football jerseys, Transformers, remote-control cars, rocket ships, Harry Potter costumes, swords, etc. The list never ends! I usually pass off these masculine requests to my husband. What else can I do? I'm completely outnumbered!

[uh oh]

I'm just kidding is the typical bully repsonse.

[Alexis]

So cute, MD. I love hearing little kids talk about Santa. Last week, I eavesdropped as my 5-year-old daughter and her best friend debated the "goodness" requirements of Santa. They were so serious about the whole thing, I couldn't help but start giggling. Happy holidays!

[gray matter matters]

Dude, I totally got sperm out of that. Ok, poop it is.

[Paige Jennifer]

If you're willing to rent the Peanut out, I have a few events coming up and I think she'd make a lovely date. Just something to consider.

[Santa Claus]

Dear Peanut,
Ho,Ho,Ho. It’s Santa here. One of my elves saw your letter on your Dad’s website and sent me the link. Your picture of Rudolph is really very good. It looks just like him. I have my elves working on a very special Princess Present for you! I hope it fits.

You have been a very good girl this year. Keep up the good work and mind your Mommy and Daddy. I’ll be keeping track of you and reading your Daddy’s computer from time to time to check up on you. I like hearing all of his stories about you and the funny things you do.

Merry Christmas!
Santa

[Krystal]

Raindeer poo - priceless!!!

Definately cherish those small moments. I just got mine this past weekend when my non-verbal son finally said Mommy and understood that it was for me.

[KC]

So a) I'm glad you guys say 'poop' since I find the word 'poo' to be totally unacceptable.

b)I think JP was frustrated today when Joles farted on me and I said the word 'fart' and he made some comment about people being crass and I told Joles let's see what words come out of Daddy's mouth when you fart on HIM...and then she totally straddled him and summoned a truck-sized one just for the moment. We (Joles and I) just about died laughing.

c) Peanut rocks! Love the life-like details!

[momomax]

amazing.

-ok- may be my favorite part. even better than the poo and I love me some poo. my son reads mags on the training potty. he doesn't really watch us read on the toilet. is that inherently a dude thing?

[Matt]

What is it with kids and "ok?" My daughter is almost and 4 and she literally ends every sentence with the word. 'Kay?

[Hans]

"I'm a firm believer that our identities are shaped not only by the sum of our life experiences but also by how we deal with them."

So true, MD. So true.

Long time lurker. Just wanted to come out of the woods and say that, as a soon-to-be father, I love your entire perspective on parenting. My wife turned me onto your site and I've been a huge fan ever since. Keep up the great work!

[Aimee]

That's awesome.

Something you might want to try that isn't too "crafty" is making a snack for the reindeer. Take some dry oats and mix in glitter. Have her sprinkle is on the sidewalk, if you think none of the neighborhood dogs would try to eat it. My daughter made it one year at daycare.

[A Free Man]

Reindeer poop! Fantastic. My boy isn't old enough to get into the whole Xmas thing yet, but I look forward to it next year!

[connie]

the Peanut is one precious gift wrapped in a princess dress!

Merry Christmas!

[tj]

Reindeer poop indeed, you have a truly precious one there hun!

[Renée]

Silly daddy, that's the steam rising from the hot poop into the chilly North Pole air.

[Courtney]

What a cute Santa letter! I hope she gets her princess dress. :)

Also, I would very much like to see the "shake your bootie dance."

[Matthew]

I always knew Rudolph pooped lollipops.

[Trooper Thorn]

"Steaming" reindeer poop!

[Stefanie]

My daughter's four as well and I can seriously relate. Everyday she adds things to her list for Santa. Unfortunately they are all ideas she gets from television commercials. Her latest thing is she want a Chia Pet. Really?

[landismom]

Dude, I want to eat that child like a Christmas cookie!

Seriously, she is one cute kid. And "uh oh" can buzz off.