LATHER, RINSE...REPEAT!
Although I curse like a fucking sailor, I'm extremely diligent in never doing
this in front of the Peanut. Toddlers are experts at parroting
anything they hear from their parents. Things that you whisper under
your breath will come back to haunt you. Maybe not tomorrow or next
week...but sometime.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I banged the shit out of my thumb with a hammer. Wincing in pain but seeing the Peanut right next to me, I yelled out under my breath, "GOSHDERNIT, MODDAFREAKING OW!"
Needless to say, the Peanut started laughing hilariously and began hopping around on one leg around the apartment while holding her thumb and yelling, "GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT!"
I'd wash both our mouths out with soap but really, it's too damn cute for words.
3 PHRASES I'VE TAUGHT THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT
(1) "Mommy, there's something in your eye. Oh, it's a sparkle!"
(2) "What are we ordering for dinner, lady?"
(3) "Hey pretty mama, you want some fries with that shake?"
3 MOVIE LINES I'M TEACHING THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT
(1) "Luca Brasi sweeps with the fishies. "
(2) "I drink your milkshake. I dwink it all up."
(3) "I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod!"
3 PHRASES I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH
(1) "PLEASE stop walking around the house with your finger up your butt!"
(2) "Did you eat two packages of Starburst while I was sleeping?"
(3) "For the last time, stop putting your dresses on the dog!"
LIES, DAMN LIES, OR STATISTICS?
Here are three recent parenting news headlines that I find EXTREMELY hard to believe...
(1) "The average mother of a child under 15 spends more on fast food every year than on books, music, movies and video games combined."---NY Times
(2) "A new study shows that mothers argue with their toddlers an average of 20-25 times per hour."---CBS News
(3) "Nearly HALF of all pregnancies each year are accidents."---Boston Globe
NOTA BENE TO THE THIRD POWER, YO!
(1) As many of you noticed, I finally have a new design for this blog. Long-time readers may remember the first version of this site (which we all affectionately decided looked like a pumpkin had thrown up on a chalkboard.) The last version wasn't much better. The type was so small and the background was so dark that I could barely read it.
Kudos to the wonderfully talented Half Mama, who not only designed the winning banner but also won herself a brand-new Apple Shuffle, a full ensemble of athletic apparel, and a $50 American Express gift certificate.
I'm still going to tinker around a little with the site design. Feel free to offer up ANY suggestions!
(2) The last post? Holy cow! Almost 300 comments? It made me feel all Doocey inside. Anyway, it seems that slightly more than 90% of you would want to be woken up from a coma to say bye to your loved ones and then be told that you were about to die. Andrew believes that the polling data is skewed by demographics. He thinks that people who would read a "daddy blog" are most likely parents with young kids themselves and therefore more inclined to want to be woken from the coma. He still believes that, in the general population, more people would NOT want to be woken up.
And since many of you asked...No, Andrew and his wife do not have kids. Should that make a difference?
(3) We've been so busy going back and forth to Texas to see BossLady's father that I just realized this is the FIRST time in my life that I don't have a song of the summer. Where's my "Hey Ya," my "Brass Monkey," or my "Since U Been Gone?" I can't believe I have nothing!
Every summer, I burn a CD of summer pop songs so I can listen to them while I drive in the car. This weekend, we're going out to the beach and all I've got are Donna Summer's "Stamp Your Feet" and Coldplay's "Viva La Vida."
I'm looking for suggestions, people! What's YOUR song of the summer for 2008? What's rocking YOUR ipod right now?
P.S. I can't stop watching this video of one of my favorite bands, The Roots, cover U2. Check it out.
My song of the summer is Shwayze's "Buzzin." It's the song in the latest Pontiac Vibe commercial. Great old-school backyard bbq song.
That Roots video rocked. Thanks, MD!
Posted by: Derek | June 05, 2008 at 09:58 AM
I don't have kids and I said to wake me up. Discussed with DH after I posted and he wants the same thing.
And that scene from "P.S. I Love You" - creamated, in a snazzy box, in a bar, with the shot glasses lined up and John Mellencamp singing "In My Time of Dying" - those are his wishes.
Posted by: Karen in Delaware | June 05, 2008 at 10:01 AM
I'm not married and don't have kids but I voted for being woken up. Maybe it's not better that way but it seems so tragic to suddenly be in a bus accident and then go into a coma. I'd rather be woken up so I can say a few goodbyes and know that I'm going to a better place.
Posted by: sean p. | June 05, 2008 at 10:04 AM
Only wake me up if the Mets are in first place.
Posted by: Rattling the Kettle | June 05, 2008 at 10:12 AM
It's not terribly au courant, but I'm still in love with Amy Winehouse. Cakes is bopping around the house singing, no! no! no!
Posted by: metro mama | June 05, 2008 at 10:12 AM
Please google Maino singing Hi Haters.
It is cheesy but I have been singing the chorus while walking down the hall at work to um....no onein particular. LOL
I LOVE THE ROOTS.
Posted by: 1969 | June 05, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Daydreamin' by Lupe Fiasco featuring Jill Scott
Posted by: Kat | June 05, 2008 at 10:25 AM
Summer songs (not necessarily current!)
Feist, I Feel It All
Vampire Weekend, A-Punk
Nickodemus, Mi Swing Es Tropical
Sublime, Doin Time
I break the mold: I don't have kids yet I read your blog. I would definitely like to be woken up.
PS: Did she really eat two bags of Starburst? My teeth hurt thinking about it!
Posted by: stacy | June 05, 2008 at 10:26 AM
PS. I know the song isn't new, but it is a good summer song to me :)
Posted by: Kat | June 05, 2008 at 10:28 AM
OMG! You're teaching your daughter lines from Highlander and The Godfather! What is it with you men and your movie lines?
My husband does the same thing. He thinks there is nothing funnier in the world than teaching our 3 y.o. son lines from the Steve Martin movie, The Jerk.
Song of the summer? Usher's "Love in the Club"
Posted by: jackie | June 05, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Sexy Can I by Ray J
Posted by: Amy | June 05, 2008 at 10:35 AM
Good luck with the Peanut not picking up too many curse words. If my dad had used a bit more discretion, I would never have been able to impress my ex-Navy coworkers with my vocabulary.
As for summer music, I'm all about The Ting Tings these days. Their song "Shut Up and Let Me Go" is in the new iTunes commercial, but "Great DJ" and "That's Not My Name" are also very cool.
http://www.myspace.com/thetingtings
Posted by: Pattie | June 05, 2008 at 10:38 AM
My brother - love the new look.
Looks like Rattle the Kettle would be sleeping for a while - oh, snap!
Rockin' the iPod;
Cities In Dust - Junkie XL, Lauren Rocket
Bassment Party - The Cool Kids
The Show (Doug E. Fresh cover) - The Roots
I'm Not a Kid Anymore - Sloan
Utah Saints Mega-Mashup - Utah Saints
I Don't Know (Demo) - Lily Allen
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She & Him
And, if you get the urge to kick it old school (cuz who doesn't every once in a while - am I right?):
You Gots to Chill - EPMD
Rock the Bells - LL Cool J
Rock Box - RUN DMC
Roxanne, Roxanne - UTFO
Can I Kick It? - A Tribe Called Quest
Bring the Noise - Public Enemy
Microphone Fiend - Eric B & Rakim
Posted by: mr. big dubya | June 05, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Anything Anything
by Dramarama
Posted by: Blythe | June 05, 2008 at 10:46 AM
I also have no children, read your blog consistently, but voted to be woken up to say good-bye. :-)
Love the Highlander quote.
We have a friend that taught his nephew to hold his hands in the air and say, "I am not a criminal". Hilarious!
Posted by: Kari | June 05, 2008 at 10:49 AM
New design looks great, MD. Nice, clean, uncluttered but interesting. Kudos to Half Mama for an excellent job!
Posted by: hope | June 05, 2008 at 10:52 AM
I have a lazy habit of reading things on BlogLines so this is my first viewing of your new layout. Nice. Very nice. But hey, is it a trick of the eye or is BossLady's chair truly a smidgen bigger than Metrodad's?
Posted by: Paige Jennifer | June 05, 2008 at 10:53 AM
I still would have wanted to be woken up without kids.
Halfmama rocks.
I've got Donna Summer all over my itunes ever since the Idol finale.
Posted by: momomax | June 05, 2008 at 11:11 AM
DUDE, the redesign looks great!
Posted by: Jonathon | June 05, 2008 at 11:14 AM
Since my wife has a huge crush on Chris Martin, the only song playing on our stereo is Coldplay's "Viva La Vida." She plays it over and over and over again. And then she plays it some more.
I can't wait to read what other songs your readers suggest. If I don't hear something different, my brain is going to explode!
Posted by: HapaDad | June 05, 2008 at 11:19 AM
I voted to be awoken from coma and I do not have kids. I have lost family members unexpectedly...I think that's where it stems. Anyways...my songs: $20 or Paper Planes by M.I.A.- Rockin!
Posted by: susan | June 05, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Don't have kids, not sure if I want kids.
But the fact of the matter is I love my husband, I love my sister and parents, my in-laws, my niece and nephew, and I love my friends. Of course I would want to say goodbye. Tell your friend it *is* possible for people of his own demographic disagree with him.
Every season my husband, who's an Indie Rock DJ, makes me a new mix for my iPhone. Songs I can't get out of my head for the summer are:
When Water Comes To Life by Cloud Cult
To The Dogs Or Whoever by Josh Ritter
Igloo by Clear Tigers (bonus! he's a Brooklyn man!)
My Only Offer by Mates of State
My Little Toy Gun by HoneyHoney
Posted by: saucygrrl | June 05, 2008 at 11:27 AM
I'm digging the redesigned site, MD. Love the banner.
Song of the summer? The entire Lupe Fiasco CD.
Posted by: AGD | June 05, 2008 at 11:46 AM
Hi MD, I've been enjoying your blog for a while and I love the new design. And now, for the relevant link!:
http://nymag.com/arts/popmusic/features/47221/
Posted by: M | June 05, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Shake it by Metro Station
Do the Panic by Phantom Planet
You Can Do It by Ice Cube
Independent by Webbie
Girl all the Bad guys Want by Weezer
Men's Needs by the Cribs
Bleed it Out by Linkin Park
Stronger by Kanye West
Pure Morning by Placebo
Teenagers by My Chemical Romance
Right Me Up by State Radio
Little Black Ache by Bishop Allen
The First five Times by Stars
Creepin up the Back Stairs by the Fratellis
One Last Drink by Enter the Haggis
Tell Me in the Morning by Cold War Kids
Timebomb by Beck
Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
Time by Timbaland
Posted by: Stacy | June 05, 2008 at 12:03 PM
Shake it by Metro Station
Do the Panic by Phantom Planet
You Can Do It by Ice Cube
Independent by Webbie
Girl all the Bad guys Want by Weezer
Men's Needs by the Cribs
Bleed it Out by Linkin Park
Stronger by Kanye West
Pure Morning by Placebo
Teenagers by My Chemical Romance
Right Me Up by State Radio
Little Black Ache by Bishop Allen
The First five Times by Stars
Creepin up the Back Stairs by the Fratellis
One Last Drink by Enter the Haggis
Tell Me in the Morning by Cold War Kids
Timebomb by Beck
Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
Time by Timbaland
Posted by: Stacy | June 05, 2008 at 12:04 PM
It is with mixed emotions that I report we def spend more on video games than we do on fast food.
100% of our (one) pregnancies were accidents.
I love the new design, good pick, and lucky Half Mama. She better hope I don't find her in a dark alley with those prizes though.
I listen to the radio and I am really bad about knowing any kind of artist names and song names, so I have nothing to offer you here. Brass Monkey is a classic though.
Posted by: RubiaLala | June 05, 2008 at 12:04 PM
I wish my husband had the same discretion as you, MD. Our son dropped one of his toys last week and I heard utter "Oh shit!" under his breath. When I asked him where he learned that word, he said "Daddy!"
Needless to say, I washed my husband's mouth out with soap that night.
Posted by: Gina | June 05, 2008 at 12:08 PM
I have no kids, but I'd still want to be woken up.
Love Song by Sara Bareilles is my current favorite song. However, I'm kind of with you on this one; as all of my car tunes right now are songs from last year.
Posted by: Phoenix | June 05, 2008 at 12:17 PM
Hi MD - love the new digs, but one suggestion? I don't like the "pages" in the comments. Makes it really hard to read through the comments quickly, and reading your readers' responses is part of the joy of your blog.
Posted by: Kady | June 05, 2008 at 12:18 PM
I'm really into the Duffy Rockferry album and Mark Ronson / Amy Winehouse's Valerie!
Posted by: Emily | June 05, 2008 at 12:21 PM
I LOVE LOVE your new design. :)
Anyhow...a great song for summer is Get Like Me by David Banner featuring Chris Brown. I just set it as my ringtone last night. It's just a fun song with a catchy beat you can blast in your car with your windows down.
Posted by: si | June 05, 2008 at 12:40 PM
"Another Day" by Jamie Lidell
"A Little Bit of Feel Good" by Jamie Lidell
Check out Norwegian Recycling - he's this dude that does mash ups. http://www.norwegianrecycling.multiply.com
He's been pretty interesting to listen to lately.
Love your blog. First time commenting. Peanut is adorable.
Posted by: mae | June 05, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Dude. I can't believe you didn't teach her....
Peanut: Do you have a cookie?
Mama: No.
Peanut: It'd be cooler if you did.
Posted by: Xdm | June 05, 2008 at 01:33 PM
Hi Metro Dad, long time no post...I've still been lurking and had to come out and play when you start talking music. I am IN LOVE with a band called The Shins-try the song "Australia"!
and I am really starting to love Vampire Weekend "M79" is a fantatic song so check it out.
my song of the summer has been Metro station "Shake it" I can't seem to get enough it!! It reminds me of The Cure for some reason...see if you agree!
Colby Grace and I loving these. Nothing better than having a four year old with outstanding taste in music! I wonder where she gets that?? LOL
Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer | June 05, 2008 at 01:55 PM
*ahem* Xdm, I believe it is, "It'd be A LOT cooler if you did." Hey, if you're gonna quote Wooderson, you have to get it right!
I'm honored to be a part of the fame that is MetroDad. And happy to skip away with any prizes coming my way. Thanks, MD! I'll make sure to stay out of any dark alleys.
I'm w/Kady on the broken up comment pages though. (Although maybe if I'm on the next comment page, Xdm won't see mine and want to deck me for being obnoxious and correcting her proposed quote.)
I've got no music. I'm lame like that. I do have a sudden desire to listen to Sweet Emotion though.
Btw, I'd haunt G's ass forever if he didn't wake me up. Just for the record.
Posted by: halfmama | June 05, 2008 at 02:19 PM
It isn't new, but I just discovered Los Lobos' cover of the Tom Waits song Jockey Full of Bourbon. I think they did this in 2004. Not sure it fits the "song of the summer" bill, so if you find something let me know.
Posted by: nonlineargirl | June 05, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Awesome summer song:
LALALA by Von Iva you can't help but crank it up while you sing at the top of your lungs
Posted by: Shannan | June 05, 2008 at 02:40 PM
I'm digging that new REM song, "Supernatural, superserious."
Posted by: Laura | June 05, 2008 at 02:41 PM
FYI for Andrew and his 'theory' - I am a single female w/o kids and my vote was to be woken up from the coma. Don't people read blogs because they are well written and/or funny not because of 'mommy', 'daddy', or 'whatever'?
Posted by: Shannon | June 05, 2008 at 03:17 PM
"American Boy" by Estelle and Kanye West
Posted by: Mari | June 05, 2008 at 03:34 PM
Hmmm, Summer soundtracks are always good to have. What I have on repeat is the amazing song Labels or Love by Fergie. Sure fire smash hit. It was on the Sex and the City soundtrack, all the gays (and girls) are listening to it and it is the sweet foursome's motto that says once the gays love it, everyone will.
Posted by: Soul | June 05, 2008 at 03:37 PM
ooo, and another good one is Coldplay's newest hit Viva la Vida. I'm not a big coldplay fan, but this is a good song.
Posted by: Soul | June 05, 2008 at 03:38 PM
Hubby is teaching the Bear to recite ( and sometimes act out) lines from the Pink Panthers' Inspector Clouseau. Must be a guy thing.
Posted by: Tracy | June 05, 2008 at 04:12 PM
LOVE the new banner and the new look for the site, MD. Great job done by Half Mama. After seeing her work, I'm embarrassed by the entry that I submitted!
My musical tastes froze back in 2001 after the birth of my 4th kid. Sorry I'm not much help to you here.
Posted by: liza p | June 05, 2008 at 04:20 PM
I'm with you on being woken up, MD. Though I have no kids of my own, it still would be nice to say good bye to those nearest and dearest to me.
As for summer listening, I've been on a bit of a Flight of the Conchords kick. The entire album is easy to listen to, the lyrics are a riot, and totally embraces the spirit of summer.
Posted by: ~s | June 05, 2008 at 04:21 PM
T.V. on the Radio, Santogold, Kate Perry, MGMT.
Posted by: Spacecasie | June 05, 2008 at 07:20 PM
Great new look, MD!
I don't know, on the "Lies, Damn Lies.." one, I don't find #2 that hard to believe...
My last summer song was "Umbrella" by Rhianna--but like you, I haven't found a good one for this year yet. I'm contemplating "No Air," but I might be getting tired of it already.
Keep us updated on your quest, though--I find your musical test curiously compelling.
Posted by: landismom | June 05, 2008 at 07:42 PM
I've been playing Jason Mraz's new album non-stop. Love it. "I'm Yours" sounds very summerish. Makes me want to go to Hawaii.
Posted by: jeanie | June 05, 2008 at 08:07 PM
I can't stop playing Counting Crows latest: Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings. It's pretty hot from front to back.
Posted by: Black Hockey Jesus | June 05, 2008 at 09:07 PM