Yesterday, my buddy Andrew and I were discussing the season finale of the TV show "House."
During the episode, a woman is injured in a bus accident. However, there are some strange complications that seem to imply a dangerous preexisting condition. The patient is put into a medical coma while the doctors attempt to diagnose her and find the proper treatment.
The doctors eventually realize that the patient cannot be cured and will soon die. The boyfriend is given the choice whether to let her die peacefully in her sleep or to have her awakened so that they can say goodbye to one another and he can tell her about her impending death. This being television, he naturally chooses to have her woken up. They lie together on the hospital bed for a few hours, tell each other how much they love one another, and then she naturally slips into a coma and dies.
While Andrew and his wife Lara were watching the show, Lara immediately spun towards him and said, "Just for the record, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WAKING ME UP!" Andrew completely agreed.
I posed this hypothetical to the BossLady and she didn't hesitate either. After thinking about if for a brief millisecond, she told me that she wouldn't want to be woken up either.
Me? I thought there was something romantic about it. I would want to be woken up. I could tell my wife and daughter how much I loved them. I could offer them my last lessons on life. Also, I think it would help provide closure for everyone and maybe make their suffering a little less painful.
Plus, knowing I was going to die, I could inhale a giant cheesesteak with fried onions and pickles, maybe catch a Mets game on TV, and then still have time to call a few people and tell them how much I hate them. How bad could it be? Sounds great!
Andrew thinks I'm a romantic idiot and that the idea of being woken up, only to be told that you were about to die, is morbidly disturbing. He thinks if we asked 100 people, 99 would not want to be woken up.
So naturally we agreed that we'd post the question here on the blog.
What's the deal, my friends? Would you want to be woken up from a coma so that you could say your goodbyes and be told that you have only hours to live? Or would you rather stay in the coma and pass peacefully? And why would you pick one choice over another?
An inquiring mind wants to know...
I would like to be woken up. Period.
Posted by: katherine Mauricio | May 28, 2008 at 04:04 PM
Wake me up!
Welcome back...you've been missed! Also, I love the new design.
Posted by: Amanda | May 28, 2008 at 04:04 PM
Wake me up! I have things to say. Of course anyone who knows me would know that.
Posted by: Kristin | May 28, 2008 at 04:16 PM
Wake me up, and bring me a telephone. I want to order every type of food that is my favourite, say my goodbyes to people other than my husband on the phone, call a couple others to tell them how much I've always despised them, and a lawyer to draw up my final will.
I want to see my husband a last time, and tell him I'll haunt any other person he dare dates.
Also, tell him I love him, and to not spend money on a fancy urn. I want a coffee can, Big Lebowski style.
Posted by: Krista | May 28, 2008 at 04:20 PM
Interesting question. I'm not married and don't have kids so I think that I'd just want to die in my sleep and never be woken up. I wonder if I had a wife and kids, would that change my thinking?
Posted by: Simon | May 28, 2008 at 04:22 PM
Wake me up!
It is romantic. I would want The Man and The Boy to be able to say good-bye to me and I'd want to say good-bye to them, too.
Posted by: RubiaLala | May 28, 2008 at 04:24 PM
Wake me up, before I go, go.
:)
Posted by: Kelly | May 28, 2008 at 04:28 PM
Do NOT wake me up! I want to die peacefully in a coma.
Posted by: JF | May 28, 2008 at 04:30 PM
Wake me up.
My dad died suddendly when I was 16. And of course being a typical teen there wasn't a lot of "I love yous" and appreciation expressed. More than 20 years of life later, that's the only thing I'd change.
Posted by: Shannon | May 28, 2008 at 04:38 PM
Definitely wake my ass up!
Every single moment is precious. Why cheat myself out of the last ones?
Posted by: Clifford | May 28, 2008 at 04:44 PM
I would want to be woken up.
Posted by: Mary | May 28, 2008 at 05:00 PM
Woken up.
Posted by: jenn | May 28, 2008 at 05:04 PM
Oh definitely wake me up. If both scenarios ended in death, I could bring closure to some things. Get some things off my chest.
Posted by: stacy | May 28, 2008 at 05:12 PM
WAKE ME UP! My skin is crawling a little just on the hypothetical that someone wouldn't let me know! I'm a control freak and it's my life dammit!
Posted by: rebekah | May 28, 2008 at 05:21 PM
Wake me up before I go-go.
Posted by: | May 28, 2008 at 05:28 PM
Nice new banner - clean...
Ah yes, wake me the hell up. Depending on how much time I have left, I may want one last meal... one last hug for LN... and a quick note for friends and family.
I think because I've been on both ends of not being able to say goodbye to a loved one and having had the time to say a final goodbye to another loved one... and I did prefer the latter. It felt... clean.
(heh, I said "clean" twice in this comment - well, now three.)
Posted by: Mama Nabi | May 28, 2008 at 05:34 PM
wake me up so i get a chance to say goodbye to my husband and kids
Posted by: | May 28, 2008 at 05:36 PM
i'm one of the annoying people that need to know everything: will i be in pain if i wake up or heavily medicated? would they slip me back into a coma afterwards or would i be stuck to die on my own? and how long would i get? can i just be woken up and not told that i was going to die because really, that's such a mood killer. there's an excellent chance that i'd waste my last moments whining and being mad and bitter about being woken just to be told that i was going to die and who wants that to be their last memory of a loved one? though you'd hope in my last moments i'd get over it and i do understand being able to say goodbye...this is hard. maybe yes. can that be my answer?
Posted by: talda | May 28, 2008 at 05:41 PM
If I was going to be coherent, I'll wake up for the family.
Posted by: Julie | May 28, 2008 at 05:42 PM
I would definitely want to be woken up. For my own sake and especially for my family's sake. My friend just lost her husband in an accident and I keep thinking how awful it's going to be for her kids to grow up without their dad.
Posted by: Chief Family Officer | May 28, 2008 at 05:45 PM
I think If I got woken up, I'd just cry a lot and it would be upsetting for everyone. If I'm asleep, they can say their goodbyes to me anyway without me screwing it up. cause If I woke up in hospital only to be told I was about to die again, I would not be in a clear state of mind to 'say goodbyes' and 'plan funerals'.
Posted by: Ali | May 28, 2008 at 05:49 PM
wake me up! i'd want to say my goodbyes to my kids and my family. . . all that lovey dovey stuff and also i'd want to have some kick ass ikura, good ole kimchee chigae, some really good indian food - cuz normally it gives me such bad heartburn that i want to die - and then. . . i'd want to be put back into that coma to die peacefully
Posted by: gracie | May 28, 2008 at 06:02 PM
wake me up!
:-D
Posted by: jason | May 28, 2008 at 06:05 PM
Wake me up before I go-go, I say.
Posted by: Rogue Mama | May 28, 2008 at 06:05 PM
I get the points people are making about having closure. It's good for the other people in our lives. However, it's worse for the person who has to go through it. So count me in for NOT wanting to be woken up.
Posted by: brady | May 28, 2008 at 06:06 PM
Do not wake me up! I have been praying for a quiet peaceful death (when it is my time). If I haven't already let my loved ones know how I feel then I am a schmuck. If they haven't let me know how they feel then I must be an idiot not to have figured it out. And it won't matter at that time as I am dead. Hopefully people who love me would want me to have an easy death and would let me go. I really don't need the emotional stress of a long goodbye when I am dying. And I have left notes for my family members listing things they did that I thought made them special. Let them find those notes after I am gone and be surprised and pleased.
Posted by: carosgram | May 28, 2008 at 06:09 PM
Wake me up. I have to tell my wife where I hid the rainy-day slush funds.
Posted by: Mr. X | May 28, 2008 at 06:10 PM
wake me up dammit!
Posted by: Sheri | May 28, 2008 at 06:33 PM
I don't think I'd want to be woken up. Isn't passing away in a coma everyone's ideal way to go?
Posted by: Tyler Durdan | May 28, 2008 at 06:35 PM
Wake me up!
I'd want to chow down on some steak fries and chocolate truffles...and BBQ chicken pizza. I think my family would deserve to say proper goodbye to me to give them closure, and I'd like a chance to tell everyone how much I love them.
Posted by: Rachel C | May 28, 2008 at 06:45 PM
Wake me up!
Posted by: Jenn Benn | May 28, 2008 at 06:45 PM
Let me sleep and pass away. If I were to be woken up, I would hate to head into death with the pain of knowing I could never see my husband again weighing so heavily on my heart.
Posted by: wendy | May 28, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Wake me up. Order some booze. Call up the strippers. And let's have a party!
Posted by: jackson | May 28, 2008 at 06:47 PM
I watched that episode and thought and thought about it. I would want the opportunity to say my goodbyes. To tell everyone around me to make sure they lived every day of their lives. To ask them not to be sad when they thought of me, but to remember my sarcastic sense of humor, my parties, and my craftiness.
Posted by: Elaine | May 28, 2008 at 06:49 PM
On one hand, I think it's selfish. I wouldn't wake up Misterpie to send him into shock and panic like that.
On the other hand, if it were me, I'd want to tell my child I'd always love her and how very, very special she was and how glad I was to have had the time I did with her. But then, without a child? I think the spouse would understand that and be the one making that call anyhow, so without her, I wouldn't want to be woken. It's only because I'd want her to know those things that NOW I'd say yes.
(waffle much, kp?)
And PS - loving the new banner update.
Posted by: kittenpie | May 28, 2008 at 06:52 PM
wake my ass up!
Posted by: grant | May 28, 2008 at 06:55 PM
What a gift to have one last chance to communicate with family and/or friends. You might need to say:
I love you.
I'll miss you.
I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
Posted by: Michelle | May 28, 2008 at 07:05 PM
I'm not a parent or married, but I'd still like to be woken up. On the practical side, there's stuff that I would want to do/say, since even happily single people have loved ones (and hated ones). On the more philosophical side, I think facing death is a huge part of our stay in the universe. I think I'd want to experience that, rather than slip into oblivion having missed what is, ironically, a huge milestone in life.
Posted by: Ten Feet of Steel | May 28, 2008 at 07:16 PM
Wake me up! Then shut the door for some last minute bone-age.
But seriously, I would WANT to say goodbye to my kids and I agree it would be the best thing for them too.
Posted by: Amanda | May 28, 2008 at 07:19 PM
Without question, wake me up. I would need the closure as much as my family would. And I would cherish every possible moment with them, as I do now, even knowing about my impending death. I'm not about to skip out on 2 hours of time with my husband, daughter, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, nephew... because I might have to endure some bad news and potential pain... small price to pay, my friends.
Posted by: Heather K. | May 28, 2008 at 07:19 PM
I'd want to be woken up... I would want that opportunity to tell my people how much a I love them... damn, now I'm all teary... curses!
Posted by: Kristin | May 28, 2008 at 07:19 PM
As a person who has fought cancer at 26 and won, I think if you had asked me then, I would have said Wake me up before I go go.I hadn't grown up yet and was very needy for approval and love. At that time it was all about me
But 14 years later and married to a wonderful, funny but realist,slightly pessamistic Brit. think it's a cultural thing, I don't know a Brit who doesn't think the worst first.
Now I'd say leave me be. That being said this is forcing me to write down my final wishes (for the second time) and also write down all the passwords to pay the bills online for BritHubby.
Posted by: Kris T | May 28, 2008 at 07:22 PM
No doubt about it, wake me up!!! I would want to say good bye to my husband and remind him how much I love him. And having the last words I hear be him telling me how wonderful I am wouldn't be a bad way to go...
Posted by: taitaicricket | May 28, 2008 at 07:23 PM
I'm with you MetroDad. I'd want to be awakened - even with the sadness. No closure for those left behind would be worse!
UGH. Now I need a laugh.
Posted by: Amy | May 28, 2008 at 07:27 PM
As long as it isn't painful, wake me up. I'd want to tell my family goodbye and how much I love them.
Posted by: mom2divas | May 28, 2008 at 07:30 PM
Let me sleep. The people I love know I love them, and I know they love me. The pressure of making those last hours count would probably make me miserable.
Although the idea of calling the people I cant stand and getting the last word in is very tempting.
Posted by: Lunasea | May 28, 2008 at 07:31 PM
Ok now I have Wham stuck in my head. Am I the only one?
And hell yeah, wake me up before I go go.
Posted by: Mom101 | May 28, 2008 at 07:47 PM
I can't imagine not being able to tell my son I love him before I die...definitely wake me up!
Posted by: melanemac | May 28, 2008 at 07:56 PM
Personally I would rather not be woken up. I have a feeling I would be a basket case and never give anyone any peace if I was told I was going to die hours before it happened.
Posted by: Kat | May 28, 2008 at 07:56 PM
Woken up...for all the reasons you stated. Plus, my husband doesn't really know where our money is, let alone all the account #s & passwords. I'd be able to remind him where I keep everything & the password for it all.
I love the idea of a last meal, too. ;-P I actually tried to postpone my c-section in March (it was scheduled for a few days later, but I went into 'pre-labor'), b/c we were supposed to get hamburgers & sweet potato fries the day I was admitted to the hospital. I made him take me to get the burger as soon as I was released from the hospital w/ our 5 day old daughter in tow.
Posted by: Sun | May 28, 2008 at 08:20 PM