You miss your wife and daughter terribly.
It's late at night. Your apartment feels cavernously empty. The silence seems to echo off the brick walls and reverberate noiselessly. How is that possible? The TV hums in the background. You sigh heavily and, as you gaze upon a photo of your wife and daughter, you pour yourself another scotch.
Things changed so quickly. Only a week ago, you and your family awoke to one of those beautiful spring mornings in Manhattan, the kind of morning that always rekindles your unabated love for this city. Your daughter is practically bursting at the seams with excitement. "Isn't it a beautiful day, guys? When you pick me up today, let's all go to the park for a picnic. Hooray! Picnics!" You and your wife smile and laugh at your daughter's unbridled enthusiasm. Together, all three of you walk out of your apartment building. Rays of golden sunshine warm your faces.
Three hours later, you leave the office briefly to get another dose of that midtown sun. You chat amiably with the Pakistani newstand owner downstairs as the two of you share a cigarette. You both agree that it really is a beautiful day. Despite your yearning to flee from work and enjoy the outdoors, you return upstairs to your office.
Immediately as you walk in, your co-worker runs up to you. "Call your wife. It's an emergency."
In the seconds that it takes for you to dial her number, your mind races. Since your wife is the one calling, you assume that nothing bad has happened to her. What else would constitute an emergency? Has something happened to your daughter? Your heart is racing.
When your wife answers, all you hear are the anguished sounds of her sobbing uncontrollably. Between choking sobs and gulps of air, you hear only isolated words. Father. Liver cancer. Inoperable. Tumor. 8 cm.
Your gut wrenches. A sickening feeling falls into the pit of your stomach. For some strange reason, you're reminded of that tragic morning of 9/11. Another beautiful day that started out with so much promise yet ended with so much pain.
The next 24 hours are a dizzying combination of activity and emotion. Phone calls are made. Tears are shed. Sympathies are laid bare. You learn that everyone reacts differently in these situations.
We all do what we have to in order to get by.
Your wife decides to get on a plane immediately so she can see her ailing father. You agree that it will be easier for everyone if you and your daughter stay at home. You both think you have it all figured out. However, when you telephone your mother-in-law to inform her of the news, she pauses for a moment and then tells you that it's great that your wife is coming to see them. However, the doctor said that her husband needs to enjoy life as much as possible now. Things might get worse soon. That being said, your mother-in-law tells you, do you think the Peanut could come to Texas also? Nothing would make him happier.
You and your wife look at each other and agree wholeheartedly. Knowing how much joy can come from being around a fun-loving toddler, you both know that this is one of the best (and only) things that you can do for her father right now. You also know it's hard to cry when you're laughing so hard. And one thing your daughter does do is provide lots of laughter.
So as you sit alone in your apartment missing your family and thoroughly depressed over your father-in-law's illness, you decide to watch some videos that you took last week. In one, your daughter is demonstrating how if mom and dad will not give her a baby sister, she will make one by herself. And as you sit there with tears in your eyes, you cannot help but start laughing again.
It's true. Laughter really is the best medicine.
I'm having a baby sister from Pierre Kim on Vimeo.
We love you, Dad, and we're thinking about you all the time.
So sorry to hear about BossLady's father. I'm sure spending time with the Peanut will cheer him up tremendously. She's too cute for words, MD.
Posted by: Ellen | May 04, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Oh, Metro. I am really sorry to hear your family has to face something so hard, that your Lovely Wife has to find a way to say goodbye, but I think you were completely right - what greater joy to bring her father. Sending you more virtual scotch for the week.
Posted by: kittenpie | May 04, 2008 at 07:09 AM
My thoughts are with you, brother!
We just went through the "C" thing with my mom-in-law and my dad is currently kicking lung cancer's ass (YEA!!). It's numbing and drawn out. A happy baby made thing easier, all the way around. As you know my digs are currently empty of my better two-thirds. Man this place is big...
Posted by: Paul | May 04, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Take care, metrofamily
Posted by: yueqing | May 04, 2008 at 11:28 AM
So sorry to hear this news. I hope the Peanut makes lifts your FIL's spirits a little bit. This sounds hard.
Posted by: Stefanie | May 04, 2008 at 11:51 AM
I'm so sorry about your FIL. Your family is in my prayers.
Posted by: Karen (makabe) | May 04, 2008 at 12:11 PM
That was a beautifully poignant. I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Fiona | May 04, 2008 at 12:55 PM
So sorry to hear about your family's situation! A great choice to bring the Peanut down to see her grampa-- we did that with our little guy when my FIL was stage 4 lung cancer. He was a positive distraction during a trying time and everyone was grateful for his presence. I also felt that is was precious time for my son to be with his only remaining grampa and we always remind him of that time.
Hang in there. Thoughts and blessings to you and your family!
Posted by: LogicalMama | May 04, 2008 at 03:13 PM
I'm so sorry about your father-in-law's diagnosis, and that you couldn't go with your wife and daughter. Thank goodness for modern technology - I remember long distance phone calls being quite the big deal when I was a kid, and now we have so much more. I'm sure your father-in-law is greatly comforted by having your daughter with him.
My prayers are with you all during this difficult time.
Posted by: Chief Family Officer | May 04, 2008 at 03:20 PM
Pierre,
Times like these require something useful or profound to be said, and I have nothing. I'm so sorry for your family. God bless and take care of yourselves. I'll be praying for you.
Posted by: Sheri | May 04, 2008 at 04:06 PM
Dear Metrodad,
I'm so sorry to hear the bad news! My thoughts are with you all.
Megan
Posted by: Megan M | May 04, 2008 at 08:14 PM
Christ, I'm sorry about this, I send you love vibes from Wisconsin.
Posted by: Jenny | May 05, 2008 at 03:05 AM
So sorry to hear the bad news, Pierre. My thoughts are with all of you. Hope BL's dad makes a miraculous recovery.
Posted by: kimmy | May 05, 2008 at 09:31 AM
My thoughts are with you, MetroFamily. My grandmother died of panreatic cancer and she was always happy to see her grandchildren.
Posted by: Matilda | May 05, 2008 at 10:27 AM
Although it might be difficult, try to take the Peanut to see BL's dad as frequently as you can. I've been through this with both my parents and having their grandchildren around made their lives so much happier. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by: Jemma | May 05, 2008 at 10:35 AM
Oh, man. I'm so sorry. Please pass on my sympathies to your in-laws as well.
I've been oh-so-close to that spot before. Cancer, heart disease, surgery, chemo- and all of it, luckily, was treatable for my dad (at least so far...). I can't imagine what I would do if any of his diagnoses would have been caught too late.
I'm just so sorry for what your wife must be going through right now (and by extention, sorry that you are left behind to cope with your sadness by yourself). I am glad that she and the peanut will get to spend a bit of time with him before he goes.
Posted by: kate | May 05, 2008 at 10:43 AM
I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family during such a difficult time.
Posted by: Shannon | May 05, 2008 at 11:33 AM
The peanut makes having a baby look so easy. If I have another, I'm going to let her carry it for me.
Good luck in the next few months. That's all I can say. I still remember the call telling me my father had his brain tumor. I can still feel that hot, sticky, panicky, falling feeling. It sucks. There really isn't a better word.
xo
Posted by: Xdm | May 05, 2008 at 01:45 PM
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Velma | May 05, 2008 at 01:57 PM
hey pierre- sending fervent thoughts and prayers to you all- my mom beat off stage 5 colon cancer for 5+ years- you hold your bosslady closer than close as you get through this together. love to you all.
Posted by: pnuts mama | May 05, 2008 at 02:22 PM
So sorry to hear about your FIL. Warm thoughts and prayers your way.
That video was precious. She will be the best medicine.
Posted by: beloved | May 05, 2008 at 03:19 PM
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family, MD.
Posted by: Gwen | May 05, 2008 at 03:20 PM
I'm so sorry MD and BossLady....
Posted by: Nina | May 05, 2008 at 03:47 PM
Sorry to hear the bad news, MD. We went through a similar situation last year. Can't tell you how much of a godsend it was to have the kids cheer up grandpa. Made everything so much easier. Thinking of you guys.
Posted by: Dean | May 05, 2008 at 04:07 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish a lot of strength for you and your wife. I am sure Peanut will cheer everyone up.
Posted by: Veerle Herremans | May 05, 2008 at 04:45 PM
Just think, life for everyone has always been short. This was never the beginning of the end for your FIL, maybe just the beginning of having everyone telling and showing him how much they cared but didn't know how. It's the impermanence of it all that makes it all so precious. Take care and best of luck to you and your family. Perhaps this inoperable cancer will grant a little while yet.
Posted by: honglien123 | May 05, 2008 at 06:02 PM
Yuck. Desperately sorry on one hand, overjoyed that the girls are there with him on the other.
Posted by: JJ Daddy's Baby Momma | May 05, 2008 at 08:19 PM
What a beautiful, well written post. Wish you and your family well.
Posted by: the mama bird diaries | May 05, 2008 at 09:55 PM
MD - our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family at this time. I'm sure I speak for all your readers, we're here if you need us.
Posted by: Jrock | May 05, 2008 at 10:27 PM
Thinkin' of you guys. It is amazing too how the driving force of a child's life toward change is the most of all knowledge in this sort of situation. They can accept the oddness and the risk of it in a way that truly helps adults.
Pretty handy dandy little folk, yes.
Posted by: mo-wo | May 06, 2008 at 12:32 AM
We'll pray for BossLady's father tonight, MD. So sorry to hear the bad news.
Posted by: Derek | May 06, 2008 at 09:25 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. I am so glad he is getting to spend time with Peanut and your wife.
Posted by: misfithausfrau | May 06, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Oh gosh. I'm so sorry Metrodad and BossLady. My heart goes out to you. But yes, having the Peanut around will be countless laughs and smiles.
Posted by: Wandering Chopsticks | May 06, 2008 at 01:02 PM
So sorry, MD. And so sorry for BossLady and her father.
It's hard to be apart during times like this.
Thinking of you.
Posted by: KC | May 06, 2008 at 01:37 PM
A BIG BIG hug to BossLady... I will keep you guys in my thoughts... I am so sorry about the news. And I know that seeing Peanut will bring so much joy to your father-in-law... because seeing her brought a huge smile on MY face and I'm not even grandpa... HUGS and lots of good wishes....
Posted by: Mama Nabi | May 06, 2008 at 04:08 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with BossLady, you and Peanut.
Posted by: TexAsian | May 06, 2008 at 08:19 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Be strong for the BL. She's gonna need you more now than any other time in your relationship. She's dealing with the thought of losing her first love. I just lost my mom in March. My wife helps me cope every day.
Much love to you and yours.
Posted by: leemarvin | May 06, 2008 at 08:34 PM
Pierre,
Our thoughts are with all of you. Little more than a year ago we made the same decision and we regret nothing. Even though my daughter couldn't see Pa at the hospital, she was such a source of happiness, comfort and laughter for my wife during those difficult days, that it made everything different.
Big hug to all of you,
Sal
Pd. Gosh, the power of internet still amazes me!
Posted by: Sal | May 06, 2008 at 10:57 PM
Sorry to hear the bad news, MD and BL. Peace be with you and may the Peanut comfort you during these difficult times.
Posted by: Jennifer g. | May 07, 2008 at 09:12 AM
Cancer truly is a bitch ...and there is far too much of it out there. I too had a hard time reading your post. I am so sorry to hear about Boss Lady's father. I'm sorry your family will be going through this. We will be thinking about you guys.
Posted by: Calli's Mama | May 07, 2008 at 09:26 AM
Please know that we are praying for BL's father-in-law. We went through a similar ordeal last year. The only things that got us through it were the children and our faith. Thank God for both of them.
Posted by: maria | May 07, 2008 at 10:30 AM
Delurking to let you know that I'm so sorry for what your family is going through. Peace.
Posted by: Surcie | May 07, 2008 at 03:30 PM
My kids are currently laughing hysterically and making me play the Peanut's video over and over again. She's so cute. I can only imagine how much joy she must bring to all of you during these difficult times.
Posted by: Jasmine | May 07, 2008 at 03:45 PM
I hope that Peanut will bring joy to her grandpa's life no matter how long it may prove to be. I'm so sorry for your situation and I pray that your family will stay strong together.
Posted by: alexthegirl | May 07, 2008 at 08:26 PM
wow...so incredibly sorry to hear about your FIL...that's awful awful news. I truly hope your silly little princess gives him lots of happy pain-free moments.
Posted by: Colleen | May 07, 2008 at 10:38 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your FIL, MD. May Peanut and all of you be of great laughter and comfort to him during these difficult times. God bless!
Posted by: Cherie | May 08, 2008 at 12:04 AM
Hi MD. I'm a relatively new reader here and this is the first time I've seen what the Peanut looks like. We see you guys all the time! We live in BPC and my husband and I always see you and Peanut walking your dog near WMP. So bizarre! Now, I feel like I know you guys.
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's father. Our prayers go out to him and your entire family.
Posted by: Hannah | May 08, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Pierre, I'm truly sorry to hear that.
I'm sure your daughter will bring plenty of smiles to her grandfather.
Sending thought and prayers to your family.
Posted by: creative-type dad | May 08, 2008 at 02:51 PM
I'm sorry to hear about BL's father. I know Peanut will keep your FIL in stitches. Wishing your family much strength and comfort during this time...
Posted by: JAMom | May 08, 2008 at 03:14 PM
I'm sorry to hear of your terrible news, MD. Cancer has afflicted so many of our family members, I can't even bear to imagine what you and BL must be going through. I'll pray for BL's father tonight.
Posted by: Mary | May 08, 2008 at 03:15 PM