Lonely is the night

You miss your wife and daughter terribly.

It's late at night. Your apartment feels cavernously empty. The silence seems to echo off the brick walls and reverberate noiselessly. How is that possible? The TV hums in the background. You sigh heavily and, as you gaze upon a photo of your wife and daughter, you pour yourself another scotch.

Things changed so quickly. Only a week ago, you and your family awoke to one of those beautiful spring mornings in Manhattan, the kind of morning that always rekindles your unabated love for this city. Your daughter is practically bursting at the seams with excitement. "Isn't it a beautiful day, guys? When you pick me up today, let's all go to the park for a picnic. Hooray! Picnics!" You and your wife smile and laugh at your daughter's unbridled enthusiasm. Together, all three of you walk out of your apartment building. Rays of golden sunshine warm your faces.

Three hours later, you leave the office briefly to get another dose of that midtown sun. You chat amiably with the Pakistani newstand owner downstairs as the two of you share a cigarette. You both agree that it really is a beautiful day. Despite your yearning to flee from work and enjoy the outdoors, you return upstairs to your office.

Immediately as you walk in, your co-worker runs up to you. "Call your wife. It's an emergency."

In the seconds that it takes for you to dial her number, your mind races. Since your wife is the one calling, you assume that nothing bad has happened to her. What else would constitute an emergency? Has something happened to your daughter? Your heart is racing.

When your wife answers, all you hear are the anguished sounds of her sobbing uncontrollably. Between choking sobs and gulps of air, you hear only isolated words. Father. Liver cancer. Inoperable. Tumor. 8 cm.

Your gut wrenches. A sickening feeling falls into the pit of your stomach. For some strange reason, you're reminded of that tragic morning of 9/11. Another beautiful day that started out with so much promise yet ended with so much pain.

The next 24 hours are a dizzying combination of activity and emotion. Phone calls are made. Tears are shed. Sympathies are laid bare. You learn that everyone reacts differently in these situations.

We all do what we have to in order to get by.

Your wife decides to get on a plane immediately so she can see her ailing father. You agree that it will be easier for everyone if you and your daughter stay at home. You both think you have it all figured out. However, when you telephone your mother-in-law to inform her of the news, she pauses for a moment and then tells you that it's great that your wife is coming to see them. However, the doctor said that her husband needs to enjoy life as much as possible now. Things might get worse soon. That being said, your mother-in-law tells you, do you think the Peanut could come to Texas also? Nothing would make him happier.

You and your wife look at each other and agree wholeheartedly. Knowing how much joy can come from being around a fun-loving toddler, you both know that this is one of the best (and only) things that you can do for her father right now. You also know it's hard to cry when you're laughing so hard. And one thing your daughter does do is provide lots of laughter.

So as you sit alone in your apartment missing your family and thoroughly depressed over your father-in-law's illness, you decide to watch some videos that you took last week. In one, your daughter is demonstrating how if mom and dad will not give her a baby sister, she will make one by herself. And as you sit there with tears in your eyes, you cannot help but start laughing again.

It's true. Laughter really is the best medicine.

I'm having a baby sister from Pierre Kim on Vimeo.

We love you, Dad, and we're thinking about you all the time.

 

Comments

[Mike]

Wow.

I'm going to tell my dad I love him.

And he's going to tell me to stop screwing around, get my act together and go study.

And this time, I'll cherish it.

I'll keep your wife and your fams in my prayers.

Thanks Metro-hyung.

[snickollet]

Oh, MetroDad,

Even after having been on the receiving end of such news, I still don't know what to say except this:

I'm so, so terribly sorry.

I will be keeping your father-in-law and your whole family in my thoughts, with much love.

-snickollet

[halfmama]

This is painful. I'm reminded of my mom in the hospital, clutching an envelope full of photos of her grandchildren, showing them to all the nurses and doctors and anyone else who would oblige.

Grandchildren... they make things better. Always. And that Peanut is truly a smile-inducer.

Hang in there, MetroFamily. Best to all of you, especially BL's dad.

[metro mama]

Oh, Pierre. I'm so sorry.

You're right, to focus on the good.

[Mara]

I'm so sorry. When I heard my dad had Stage4 colon cancer (already metastasized to lymph, liver and lungs)it was just so, so hard. We squeezed in what we could, though, of course, it's never enough. Never. Dad loved having Squirt around. I'm sure your FIL will love having Peanut there with him. Great gifts those little kids are! I'll say a little prayer for peace. You're in my thoughts.

[NG]

Oh... I'm so sorry. We are sending many warm thoughts your way. And you're right... little girls make everything just a little bit better.

[jo(e)]

Sorry to hear news like that. This makes me want to go spend some time with my own father while I can.

[Sassy]

I'm so so sorry.

[Lily]

I am sorry about BL's father. I just lost my Grandmother over the holidays and the only solace I got was from my husband and children. My thoughts are with all of you.

[wn]

Sorry Pierre, both you and BL are in my thoughts.

My mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer, I know this drill all too well...me and the Big Lebowski are spending every wed. of this coming July on "grammy duty" while she receives her treatments...we're gonna try to beat cancer through cuteness and laughter.

Sorry once again, please take care of one another.

[kristen]

im going through this exact scenario with my fiance's father right now. 2 months ago we found out he had stage IV liver cancer, inoperable, metastasized in the lungs and bones. he went back to korea right away to be with his family, and i was able to visit recently to meet him for the first time....

im so sorry your family has to go through this. my heart goes out to you, boss lady, and the peanut, and of course, your inlaws...

[merseydotes]

I'm very sorry about your father in law. It's great that your mother in law could articulate so clearly what would be helpful - so often in these situations, people can't really say what they need so everyone else is left wringing their hands and trying to be well-meaning.

The way Peanut says "sister" reminds me of Ron Howard as little Winthrop in The Music Man. It's adorable. And I'm glad it's making you laugh right now.

[mr. big dubya]

Dude - my heart goes out to you, Boss Lady, Peanut and especially to BL's family.

[Julie]

I'm so sorry.

Your initial description of the day made me think of 9/11 in Manhattan too.

And if only babies just popped out as easily as that ball did.

[rwc]

FInd the joy in every day.

Yesterday my daughter gave birth to 8 Lamby babies in a row lying on our kitchen floor... Early signs of a maternal instinct or just having fun?

Cheers,

rwc

[Matthew]

Pierre,

I'm so sorry to hear of your father-in-law's illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Such a bittersweet post as that Peanut is such a cutie.

I'm sure she's the best medicine for Grandpa.

Best,
Matthew.

[Jamie]

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. May God see you through these trying times.

[girdtmom]

Oh, I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

[CrystalMKinTexas]

I am so sorry Pierre...all my prayers and positive thoughts are with you and your family tonight....we did a long round of this with my father in law last year and our 4 yr old daughter was his best medicine. Healed his heart and soul and when he went, I regretted not ONE moment that I spent bringing my daughter to him...and that was living with him for 4 months. Best thing ever.

[nonlineargirl]

I am so sorry. My heart is with your wife and your whole family.

[Janice]

What a bad week for the blogosphere. You guys, Finslippy, and LOD. I'm so sorry, MD. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[Kimmie]

OMG...The Peanut is so incredibly adorable. If that doesn't cheer your FIL up, I don't know what will.

Much love to BL's family. We went through something similar last year. Thank God for the laughs and smiles of innocent children. It helped more than we ever could have known.

Amazing post, MD. I was crying while reading this until I saw that video of the Peanut. And then I smiled. You're right. Laughter really is the best medicine. My thoughts are with all of you.

[Sung Hee]

I'm a frequent reader, MD, but have never commented here before. I've always been amazed at your perspective on life. Especially for an Asian-American man, you're so in touch with your feelings that it provides hope for me that guys like you are out there.

I'm so sorry to hear about BossLady's father. I lost my father a year ago. In some ways, losing your father is the hardest thing a daughter can go through. Your love for him, your wife, and your daughter are the best things you can provide. I wish you all strength as you through this difficult time.

[Rachel]

Sending all my thoughts and prayers to you, the Bosslady and her Dad.

long time reader here commenting for the first time. my mother went through the cancer drill and it was one of the most difficult times. you and your family will be in my thoughts. be strong metrofamily.

[jennster]

oh, MD, what heart breaking news. there is never anything easy about family illness. i will pray for you and your family.

on a side note, the peanut gets more adorable every time you share her with us. :)

[Stefania/CityMama]

Sending much peace and positivity out into the universe for BossLady's dad and your whole family. I am so sorry to hear this news. Sorry you are alone. If there is anything I can do...

[Planethalder]

Oh, I have come out of lurking to say that I am so so so sorry.

[enygma]

I'm sorry to hear about this. Like everyone else, I'll be praying and thinking of you and your family.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Sorry about Boss Lady's Dad.

The Goon Squad made me play that video six times before I cut them off.

[JJ Daddy-O]

Geez, dude, hang tough.
Thoughts of getting that call about one of my parents make me want to cover my ears and sing "la,la,la, I'm not listening" and sing a chorus of "I Won't Grow Up", but unfortunately being Dads now means we have to pick up the phone and act tough.
And I can never sleep either when my girls aren't around, I wind up watching a lot of late night TV.

[Rachel E.]

Hey there MD. I just sent you an e-mail because what I wanted to say was too long for the comment section. I hope it helps. You're in my thoughts.

[Papa Bradstein]

I read this while I took a break from editing a video that I plan to send to Mama and 3B, who are visiting Aunt D, Grammy and Great Grammy, who recently had a stroke that sent her to the hospital for several days.

They'll be there for two weeks, and this comes after I had 3B all to myself for 10 days while Mama was traveling. It's a shock to the system, all right.

Give our love to Boss Lady and the Peanut, and hang in there MD.

[Julie]

I'm very sorry, MetroDad. My thoughts are with you, BossLady, and your in-laws. And Peanut Power man-sae!!!

[Michelle Ho]

There's not much else we can do from here but pray for you and your family to have the strength to pull through this difficult period. It's hard to see the good that can possibly come from this kind of thing. May your love for each other be even more entrenched in the days to come.

[Anne Glamore]

MD - Thinking of you all so hard. And that's such the right decision. To this day I'm so happy that the night before my mom's ovarian cancer surgery I went to sit with her and took the boys. We just hung out and watched them do things kids do, and it was fantastic, even in the face of such tragedy.

Man, life can turn on a dime.

Love, AG

[hannah]

I'm so sorry, MD and BL. There is nothing worse in this world than cancer. I've lost 3 family members to it and I hate it. Peace and love to all of you.

[melissa]

I'm sorry about you father in law. Holding you all in the light. Melissa

[Angie in Texas]

I'm so sorry. My first thought upon reading the post was "fu*k!! why is life sooooo un-facking-fair?!"

The BL's family is in my thoughts . . .

[si]

Hi Metro Dad,

I'm a fairly new reader to your website. I first checked you out when Karen Cheng linked to you, and have been hooked ever since.

I just wanted to offer my sympathy along with your other readers. Your post was heartbreaking. My family and I will keep you all in our prayers.

[Loth]

How awful. My thoughts are with your family.

[Kris T]

As one who lost her mom (to a heart attack at 45) in 1994 while at the same time I was fighting cancer(Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, also 94), I am filled with sadness and this unexplainable empty feeling when reading this. Life is not fair. It is horrible that bad things happen to good people.

I will keep you, Bosslady and your family(ies) in my thoughts.

[croutonboy]

Oh buddy, give our very best to the BossLady and her family. Oodgie lost her father a few years back, before I met her. Nothing stings her more than the fact he never got the chance to meet Cheeky and know who she was and all the joy she brings into the world (when she's not setting things on fire, of course). I'm glad the Peanut can be there for him.

Best wishes, and remember alcohol is your friend...it fills the silence and makes everything better. No wait...

[Jolynn]

Your family is in my thoughts & prayers...

[Busy Mom]

I am so very sorry to hear this news, my thoughts and prayers are with your family and you.

I know those words are oft repeated, but please know I mean them.

[Paige Jennifer]

I'm so sorry. Hands down this situation sucks. But sending Peanut along to Texas was brilliant. There's something magical about a little kid. Like Percocet without the addictive nature.

My thoughts are with your family.

[HCG]

:-(

Love is everything. Sending my prayers to you and your family.

[MH]

MetroDad,

I'm a newbie reader to your blog, but I am really sorry to hear about BL's father...I can't imagine how hard it is for your wife and the rest of your family.

Sending positive vibes your way...

(and the video of Peanut is way too cute!)

[Kim]

I am very sorry to hear about your father in law. I must admit I was holding my breath reading your post thinking something terrible had happened to your wife and daughter. So I was extremely relieved that was not the case but still very sad for you and your family.

On a brighter note my almost 3 yo and 6 yo made me play that video over and over and were laughing out loud!!