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January 03, 2008


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Nice catch up blog, but it took you this long to figure out the "are you pregnant" thing? Jeez, grow up faster dude. Ow, and I am the worlds greatest movie reviewer (see my blog)...or at least I am working on it.

the other amy

Welcome back. Glad you enjoyed your break.

Depressing songs are a wonderful thing. They can be sad as hell but the more I listen to them the better I feel somehow. It must be some weird scientific principle I never learned because I slept thru physics class.

Depressing classics are anything by Joy Division, The Smiths, Morrissey and Aimee Mann, but my favorite depressive music is "Angie" by The Rolling Stones. A former fiancee broke up with my by giving me a copy of the 45 of this song (showing my age here) and although I cried then, when I hear the song now I am filled with thankfullness that I never married the asshat.

Kate K.

I read "Free Food for Millionaires" over Christmas break. I totally agree with your assessment. It was almost a great book.

Being a 2nd generation Korean-American woman living in NYC, the book definitely resonated with me (and all the issues I have about race, assimilation, and family.) Too bad the ending sucked so bad.

julie F

Depressed songs:
How soon is now?...The Smiths
Somebody...Depece Mode
Its my life...Talk Talk


If you liked Juno you should watch the the similarly titled Korean movie, Jenny & Juno which was released in 2004.




Ummm...Metrodad...having given birth just five short months ago, I can assure you that asking a woman in labour if she is pregnant is not exactly the way to go, either.

Pity about the Peanut-Santa picture, I checked here five times to see if it was up!

Happy New Year!


Elliott Smith all the way as far as depressing music goes. Damien Rice too, of course.


Hurt by Johnny Cash and Bleed Like Me by Garbage (I'm an ex-"cutter").

I've got the January blues too.


If it weren't for the Santa threat, my son would never (1) go to sleep (2) take a bath (3) eat a vegetable and (4) put on a hat and gloves.

Funny thing is we're Jewish!


See, I would have automatically gone for Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye" over his version of "Hallelujah". I guess Hallelujah comes off a little more calm/sad, but Last Goodbye still rips me apart every time I hear it. The desperateness of wanting to know that you meant something to someone, and feeling like you know that you just can't make it work. Gah!
Others on my list include:
1. William It Was Really Nothing by the Smiths
2. My Finest Hour by the Sundays
3. Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones
4. 1234 by Feist (I know... Thanks, Apple for totally overplaying it, and I know it sounds poppy, but man, the lyrics will kill you)

Anyhow, as far as people not thanking you for their bonus- well, that's just further evidence of the entitlement of my generation. We're a bunch of self absorbed assholes who think that we must have genuinely deserved ANYTHING that we happen to get. BUT, they probably didn't thank you because they probably didn't genuinely know the sacrifice that you made in order to give them that bonus. I would just send out a group email to all ten of them saying something like, "To the two of you who thanked me for the sacrifice that I made to give you a bonus- you're welcome! The rest of you are FIRED... Just Kidding!"
That should get the point across.

And I constantly resolve to do things differently. This week, it's to be more consistent.


I turned 40 last year. My wife demanded that I stop messing around with my facial hair and that I stop wearing baggy cargo pants. Sadly, she has no problem with allowing me to continue to drink cheap booze!


Dude, because of your health issues people think you are dead when you don't write. So write.

It's funny, and it confirms you are breathing.

Thank you.


Hilarious, and by the way, about those bonuses & the way your younger employees acted -- total sense of entitlement. One of the many things that bother me about my generation!

I can't believe you did that for your employees though, props! It would piss me off if someone didn't thank me after that!


Can I come work for you? I always say, "Thank you."

Mama Nabi

No Santa picture? Now I am depressed. Welcome back - missed you around the holidays. Hope Peanut had fun wherever it was you enjoyed mai tais.
Is Cumpston single? Coz, I'm thinking he's freaking hilarious and one potty-mouth deserves another.
Yeah, don't get ME started on lack of manners - it's parenting, I tell ya. I have yet to be thanked for ANY gift, thoughtful gesture, that I showered PN's sister's kid. You'd think at least ONE gift would have inspired some kind of 'thank you' or 'thanks' or even a 'ta'.
I don't know about suits and cargo pants... but if you do learn how to be a sushi chef, I'll envy BossLady so much.
Okay... a Cinderella Doll? I know you have a good reason for that purchase. You do, right? (Yeah, says the mommy who buys her toddler anything related to Diego or Dora just to see that smile... sigh. I'm a sell-out.)
Oh, and the pregancy comment? Good idea... you've never seen a truly pissed off woman until you erroneously ask when the baby is due. If you want to take that risk, make sure there're no machetes lying around.


Sending Thank You cards-- A lost art? Nope, just bad manners.

The Bear is only 3 and we have her send thank you notes for birthday and Christmas gifts. Of course, we do the writing and she colors a picture with it, and now she is learning to write her name on the card. But she understands what we are doing and why.

And on the subject, what happened to teaching children to say Please and Thank You and Yes, Ma'am.
(yes, we're southerners)


Hm, the hubs and I are youngish people. I think our parents would still smack us upside the head if we didn't say thank you for a personalized gift. And as for my kids, yeah, they're like the Peanut, they'd not only thank you for the shit but I think my toddler might even try licking it just to be polite. Maybe some adolescent funk pervade some of the younger people in your office?

Re: New Years Resolutions; travel more. Stop saving money and pretending that I could possibly ever afford to buy a decent home in the Bay Area again after how much it's going to cost me to get my degrees; just enjoy my life, family, and my hard earned money.

Happy New Year MD! Stay strong with that cheap booze resolution.


i love love love the Hallelujah song. It's SO packed with meaning! I still can't figure out the marble arch thing though.


Did I not TELL you about the Santa-as-threat thing? HA! Isn't is awesome?

Depressing songs:
1. Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan
2. 1000 Oceans by Tori Amos

Happiest of New Years to the you, the Peanut and the Boss Lady (hey, what happened to having her do the occasional guest host?)

metro mama

I have resolved to have wine and cheese only six nights/week this year instead of seven.

I have read some fantastic books in the last two weeks: House of Leaves, Girlfriend in a Coma, Mr. Pip, and The Road (McCarthy is fast becoming my new favourite writer).

Happy new year, MD!

Papa Bradstein

OK, so much here to talk about, let's start at the bottom. No, I don't give a damn what you gave the Peanut, so long as she likes it.

I'm trying to get away from cargo shorts, which make all of us guys look like schlubs, but have you tried to find guy shorts w/o 45 pockets?

"Bela Lugosi is Dead," "The Needle and the Damage Done," "The River (live, with the whole intro bit about his dad and the haircut and the draft)," Low (the entire album), and anything by the Cure before they started sucking.

Um. Yeah. I don't know what to say about your employees there. Maybe next year you could give those eight their bonuses in the form of ringtones and animated emoticons.

Neil Cumpston is fantastic. Almost as good as Joe Bob Briggs. Almost.

I just finished reading The Road, which made me want to both lay down and die and arm myself to the teeth and train like Sarah Connor to defend 3B against what's coming. I got it from my MIL. Should I be concerned about what she thinks about my parenting style and skills?

And dude, I can't believe you asked BossLady if she was pregnant. Again.

Happy new year, dude.


I cannot believe those employees of your that didn't thank you for your gift and cash. Wow. If I ever got anything like that from an employer, I'd be falling all over myself in gratitude because at the big telecom I work for, they don't do squat for employees around the holidays besides let us go home early on Christmas Eve. No company party, no gifts, certainly no holiday bonus. Feel free to hire me!
Happy new year to you, Peanut, and Boss Lady! (and MetroDog...gotta love the pup, too)


Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt. So, so sad.

Resolution - Not to eat cookies as soon as I step off the treadmill, it seems slightly counterproductive.

Yeah, I am afraid your employees might suck. In lieu of our normal cash bonus my very small company gave out $100 giftcards to the local grocery store. And I was thankful, even though it was a little dissappointing...I say next year you give them all a copy of Miss Manner's and call it a day.


i was so disappointed with free food for millionaires. i think it became the bestseller that it is because there aren't very many books like it... an asian american authored book about asian american characters described in a way that goes beyond the usual asian american stereotypes. i guess it's not unlikely that that was perhaps the point. but i found the second half of the book unnecessary and the writing mediocre. However, i give lee kudos for writing and getting it published (not an easy feat!).


I got a lovely harry & david gift - really, it was lovely - from my serious a-hole boss. (No cash bonus) I sent a T-Y email right away and wrote a thank you note.

Why do these gen y bastards act so entitled? if I got a new pair of socks from my struggling company I'd say thank you!

Kids today. It's disappointing.


Oh, how I've missed you, MD! I'm going to host a quarterly dinner party and invite a variety of friends from different groups in my life. I'm calling it "Mixed Nuts." I'm sorry about your employees.


Depressing songs make up much of my favourite music! Gotta say, though, these are at the top of the list:
Falling - Bruce Guthro
Lament of the Irish Immigrant - The Rankin Family
Any version of Ave Maria (it was played at my grandfather's funeral... I can't stand to hear it now.)
There Were Roses - Cara Dillon
I can't imagine NOT thanking someone for a bonus! I thanked my boss for my bonus (even though they're a given at our firm) and thanked her even more for the gift that she bought me out of her own pocket! Shame on your employees. Two simple words they may be, but you can't underestimate the importance of saying them!
No resolutions this year, I'm afraid. I just break them. My list is more a list of should-dos, not will-dos!


I am still laughing over "Two Bedrooms." Far more subtle than the also hilarious "Zoe Gets a Latte."

And I'm not surprised at all about the lack of thank yous in your company. We send out a free giveaway every single day at Cool Mom Picks, and I'd say 1 out of every 15 or 20 actually take the time to thank us. People are very, very entitled these days.

For me the depressing music is what my friend used to call Lamenting Chick Music (aka If a Vagina Could Sing) so I'm not sure you'd be interested. But the Smiths always work for me. Even the perkier tunes.


Welcome back, MD. Glad you got to relax and read some books. Our 9 hour trip to Canada afforded me the luxury of reading when the girls weren't asking me for markers, snack,s lunch at McDonalds, aor more Play-Doh.

I know what you mean about thank you's. I am still incredibly bitter that I haven't gotten so much as a "kiss my ass" from my cousin, who received a VERY nice wedding shower AND wedding present from my mother, and my sister and me--AND we went home for her wedding. Now she is pregnant and I am sure she will be amazed when I send nothing for her baby. We also never get a "thank you" from our three nephews for their gifts. The oldest one is now 15. I was also shocked that we never got a thank you (verbal or written) from our neighbors for the birthday gifts given to their two sons recently. Can you tell this is a topic that gets me agitated? My parents drilled it into our heads that we are to be gracious and thankful. Those are two qualities that my daughters are also learning.

Oh, and for depressing songs, I like California Stars, by Billy Bragg and Wilco. I also like "Hurt" by Nine-Inch nails AND the Johnny Cash versions.

OTR sister

My dad used to say, "A repeated privilidge becomes a right." Which is why he never gave bonuses.

When I was hired my boss gave me one number as my base pay and then told me what I should expect as a bonus to supplement the original number. So I feel that my bonus is part of my salary but yet it gives my company an 'out' in a particularly bad year.

Sigh. I do think that your employees should have been more grateful but they probably assume getting a bonus is standard and/or don't realize the sacrifices you had to make.

I'm trying to think of plausible reasons for their rudeness rather than just age. (I'm older but I get tired of hearing people complain about "kids today.")

Hell, when Jesus healed 10 people of leprosy only one came back to thank him!


Re books - Didn't you recently mention you read Ann Patchett's newest? Chris got it for me and I wonder if you were as annoyed as I was that the ending was obvious from the moment the car hit Tennessee? The writing was still enjoyable and I recognize that I knew what was going to happen in Bel Canto (yet I love that book), but this one felt thin.


My six year old niece hand wrote thank you notes to the 15 kids (plus family) who came to her birthday party last month. I think it's just wrong for people not to at least say thank you. Next year, you should just give those two people bonuses.


Korean Death Stare!! heeeheee!! My dad had one of those AND it was also followed by a violent white man's overbite! Deadly combo.

Most depressing song is a korean song from my new fav singer: Farewell Once Again by Sung Si Kyung. Almost got into a car accident listening to this..doesn't help that I don't understand what he's really moaning about

Thanks for another great post.


Julie F - Think "Somebody" by Depeche Mode is depressing? How about horrifying? That is one of very few songs I know all the words to. I have sung that song and Joe Jackson's "Breaking Us in Two" to my son almost every night since he was an infant (he's 18 months now). My daughter (who just turned 5) asked me to sing it to her a few times. And now she will break out into "I want somebody to care for me passionately, with every thought and with every breath . . " much to my delight and to the absolute horror of my husband (who grew up in a rural area and can't appreciate the finer points of DM).


Re: your employees. Wow. So did you mail them their bonuses or give them out in person? If it's the latter, does this mean they silently took the envelopes as you handed them out? If so, they really are asshats.

Sheri Ferreira

Oh my god. Smashing Pumpkins did Landslide? I've got to dowload that. Listen, I have a friend who looks seriously pregnant. She is not... I keep expecting her to pop out a set of triples, and surprise us all, but I keep my mouth shut. It's a hard lesson learned.


I never get a thank you from my niece and nephew (5 and 9) although, I think that their mom is starting to come around because I've been giving less and less each year (it's true that if a priviledge becomes habit, gratitude goes away). If your aged 20 something employees are even still working for you next Christmas, I would give them Emily Post's guide to manners books (no cash to go with it) and to the older employees who thanked you, I would do as you would normally do, but that's just my two cents. I think that you aren't going to do what you were never taught or conditioned to do (the "you don't know what you don't know" theory) so the manners book might be appreciated AND they would get the point.

I work for the government and our division chief took 18 employees out to lunch for Christmas (there are lots of federal rules about gift giving, so lunch is a safe bet) and no one thanked him but me, but...I went out and got a thank you card and made everyone sign it.
Even great, smart people can be stupid about gratitude, but it was not an intentional slight on their part.

So, I'm going out today to buy some thank you cards for the grandparents for the gifts they bought for my family--although I did give them verbal thank yous. Thanks for reminding me that good manners never go out of style.

BTW, I sent flowers to my relatives who live far away and, knowing that I wouldn't get a thank you, I called them to see if they had arrived and waited for them to thank me, which they did. These are small town folks, so poor or lazy manners aren't just a big city thing!

Have a wonderful New Year!

P.S. My heritage is Italian and German (think loud, loving, quick to anger and stubborn, all rolled up into one) and there is such a thing as the Italian Death Stare too!

G McMorrow

Whenever I'm in a deep funk and want to wallow in my depression, I can always count on Joy Division.

Incidentally, since you're a film geek, you might want to check out "Control," the new Ian Curtis biopic. Directed by Anton Corbijn and scored by New Order, it was a huge hit at Cannes.


Long time lurker. Thoroughly enjoy your writing, cracks me up everytime and contributes more than a little to my worktime productivity loss.
Sounds like you might have a few openings at your company within the year, feel like hiring a hudson valley dweller with a serious need for a new job?
Keep up the great writing MetroD!


Glad to have you back my friend, even if your absence made me feel better about my own lack of blogging.

Let me say the following:

(a) LOVE Pauline Kael. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Anyone who can review "The Warriors" and make it sound hypnotic is totally in my good graces.
(b) I'm concerned at how cool I think 'Cloverfield' looks. I may need to take a day off work for that, especially if hipsters die.
(c) I think Santa thanks you for skipping the picture this year, too.
(d) Most depressing song is a tie between 'Cat's in the Cradle' (the only song which makes me blubber like a 6 year old girl whenever I hear it), 'She's Leaving' by the Beatles, and 'If You See Her, Say Hello' by Dylan
(e) if you want to give me a cash bonus, I'll gladly accept it and thank you. Try it!


"My daughter is three. And if you handed her a piece of shit off the sidewalk, she'd still look you right in the eye, smile, and say, "thank you very much."

Well, there it is. Charity (and open-mindedness, generosity, graciousness, decency, etc.) begins at home.

Ungrateful, wretched spawn.

scared of santa... she's not alone!



1. Sea Change album by Beck
2. Lover, You Should Have Come Over by Jeff Buckley
3. Recuerdos de la Alhamba (classical guitar tune). If you have never listened to this, do so now!

creative-type dad

Happy New Year

I learned never to ask a woman if she's pregnant long ago.
And when they tell you they are, always say "Really?!" like you mean it.


Hi Metro Dad. Belated New Year's greetings from Munich. My new year's resolution is to think about blogging again. My nomination for a depri-song: "Amubulance Blues" by Neil Young. That always cheered me up no end. And if MetroBro does genre (like monsters rubbing up against skyscrapers or blonde actresses) he should get in touch. That's my business.


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