I was over at my buddy (and fellow NYC daddy blogger) Mr. Nice Guy's site today and was happy to see that he was celebrating his 500th post. Naturally, I wondered how many posts I had written over here and was shocked to see that this one right here is #318. I also discovered that, lo and behold, my 3rd blog anniversary just passed in July.
It's hard to believe that, for the past three years, I've been sitting down 1-2 nights a week with a glass of scotch and banging out late-night musings on my love of fatherhood, marriage, the NY Mets, being Korean, beef jerky, and the luxuriant black hair on my head that gives me my Spidey powers.
Of course, during those same three years, I've also spent a lot of time perfecting this sense of detached bemusement that seems to be hardwired into my personality.
You know what else I've really noticed in perusing my writing of the past three years? A lot of "fucks." Honestly, I say the word "fuck" more often than Rudy Guiliani changes his politics.
But in all seriousness, aside from the fact that writing is a lot cheaper than therapy, this blog has turned into my own personal soapbox where I can discuss the truly important issues of our day. Like when I was changing my daughter's diaper yesterday, I jotted down an observation that I wrote on this napkin. Here it is: SAY SOMETHING STUPID ABOUT BABY POOP!
You see, that's the real joy of writing this blog. Taking on the big guys.
In all honesty, I truly have enjoyed writing this blog. I don't know when I'll stop doing it. So much of what I write here focuses on being a parent for the first time. However, I think there will come a time when my source material will eventually dry up. What happens when the Peanut leaves for college? Will I follow her to school so I can still mine some good material? I doubt it. By then, I'll be too busy working the night shift at Wal-Mart to help pay for her tuition.
Besides, I never meant for this blog to last forever. Originally, I just wanted a little corner of the internet where I could be a little self-introspective about my journey into fatherhood and find a community of like-minded parents. Unlike others, I never started this blog to make money. I never started it to get a book deal. And I certainly never started it to try and become popular.
See, for me, being popular means being liked, and there's a certain responsibility that goes along with being liked, because you are no longer in a position to let people down. See, if people think you're an asshole, you can't disappoint them. And that's how much I love people. To prevent them from being disappointed in me, I act like an asshole. Now, I know what you're thinking. Are people disappointed if I'm not as big an asshole as they expect?
All I can say is, so far, it has not been a problem.
I will admit, however, that this blog has unintentionally developed a certain amount of popularity that I'm rather conflicted about. I like to be the outsider, the rabble rouser, the iconoclast, but I also dig the fact that people seem to respond to what I'm writing about. See the problem? On the one hand, I don't care what other people think of me; but on the other hand, I want to be remembered as the guy who didn't care what other people thought of him.
You know, when this blog first started, I didn't care who was reading. But when I started getting a little traffic, I'll admit that I would check my stat counter more often than I would my stock portfolio. Thankfully, for both me and my retirement fund, I stopped doing that about a year or two ago.
But anyway...on this auspicious anniversary, as I think about where I want to go with this blog, I keep coming back to the sage advice offered by my crazy-ass friend BMC who, in discussing the rising popularity of personal blogging as a means to an end, proffered these words of wisdom, "git back to your roots, bitches!"
To that end, I think I'm going to take her advice.
While I'll still continue to spout the verbal diarrhea that seems to clog the plumbing of my brain on a near-daily basis, I think I also want to get back to writing for myself, my wife and my daughter. This site originally started as a way for me to not only work out my issues of becoming a father for the first time but also to reach out to a bunch of really cool men and women who not only relished being parents but also didn't want to subsume their individuality to their new roles as parents. I cherish the friendships I've made from this blog and, in the end, this means more to me than I ever could have imagined.
So, going forward, whether you're a like-minded parent or a single person reading this as some sort of cautionary tale, I hope you'll stick around. I'm not really sure where we're going from here but shit, then again...who does?
Three years indeed. Happy anniversary to me.
I fucking love you, MD. Don't you dare stop thiking about writing this blog. Happy 3rd anniversary!
Posted by: Jessica | August 08, 2007 at 10:34 PM
Congrats Metro. If you're ever in ATL... :)
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | August 08, 2007 at 11:00 PM
K...if two Asian-Americans like you and I ever find ourselves together in Atlanta, I'm going to snort giant lines of wasabi and run into the nearest strip club. Boo yah!
Posted by: MetroDad | August 08, 2007 at 11:08 PM
MD-
You're the reason I blog. That and my woman thinks you're funnier than I am...and I can't have that.
I stand in awe of your bloggage, but now I know your secret. Glass 'o scotch here I come!! May not blog any better but I reckon I won't care...
Aloha!
Posted by: Pablo | August 08, 2007 at 11:09 PM
Long time reader, first time commentor (commentator?)...Just wanted to say that I truly enjoy your perspective on parenting and I love the fact that you always "keep it real." Despite the fact that you want to portray yourself as an a-hole, it's pretty clear that you're a very decent guy. Thanks for 3 years of entertainment.
Posted by: Melanie | August 08, 2007 at 11:11 PM
Despite the fact that you write for Babble, I still love coming here to read your thoughts about parenting. It's so rare to read honest thoughts about what it means to be a father today. While I do enjoy reading all the mommy blogs, I look forward to reading more about your journey into fatherhood. Congrats on 3 years of blogging, MD. I've loved every second.
Posted by: Leora | August 08, 2007 at 11:17 PM
Yours was the first blog I ever read and I'll keep reading it, no matter what it turns into. Because your ass is fucking funny and real, just the way I like it. ;)
Happy third blog-anniversary MD.
Posted by: Phoenix | August 08, 2007 at 11:20 PM
okay, fine. you opened the box. here comes pandora:
you post too infrequently. it's bullshit. you were funnier when you posted more. or maybe you were funnier before you went on that no-fried-chicken diet. now you're still pretty funny, but maybe you could use a little more scotch? or more pictures of your in leopard-print man panties?
happy anniversary. i'm about to hit the 550 mark between typepad and blogger. maybe my blog will spontaneously self destruct by then. i think 5/8 of the interwebs hopes so.
and thanks for the props. it's fun when all that talking out of my ass doesn't totally smell like farts.
Posted by: bitemycookie | August 08, 2007 at 11:42 PM
Happy Anniversary. You're a great writer, and I hope you keep going for a long time.
Posted by: Rachel | August 09, 2007 at 12:01 AM
See, BMC...the LAST thing I actually want is to do is care about posting more (or less) frequently! The only reason I was posting MORE back then was because I didn't give a shit and I had more free time on my hands.
Really, I desperately want to get back to that sense of ennui.
Meanwhile, thanks for smacking some shit into the blogosphere. You are my OG!
Posted by: MetroDad | August 09, 2007 at 12:06 AM
I think you're a big asshole.
You're welcome.
Posted by: whit | August 09, 2007 at 12:28 AM
You're my FAVORITE ASSHOLE! (I mean that in the greatest sense of the word.)
Posted by: J-Dog | August 09, 2007 at 12:30 AM
You think all the fun stops when they go off to college? Come on over and visit my blog; you'll realize that they never REALLY leave home.
Carol
Posted by: Carol Snider | August 09, 2007 at 12:32 AM
The worst secret about your site is the fact that, despite how much you want to convey yourself as an a-hole, you're actually a really nice guy. Sorry to blow your cover, MD!!!
Posted by: Ellen B. | August 09, 2007 at 12:36 AM
Like Whit said, if it makes you feel better, I still think you're an asshole.
I mean, I barely get over the fact that you're a Mets fan.
Posted by: Matthew | August 09, 2007 at 12:40 AM
No doubt about it...you're my favorite asshole! Love you, man!
Posted by: Scott | August 09, 2007 at 12:48 AM
Complete and total asshole.
Happy Anni.
Posted by: Rose | August 09, 2007 at 12:50 AM
Oh man, your blog existential crisis is a lot to chew on. You're kinda sounding like Kurt Cobain (i.e. can you be alternative and anti-establishment while becoming part the mainstream?), and look at what happened to him. :(
Then again, imagine the brilliant posts to be borne from a heroin addiction!
Posted by: Julie | August 09, 2007 at 01:02 AM
Congratulations on your bloggy anniversary, MetroDad, King of Ennui. Long may you reign!
Posted by: Glennia | August 09, 2007 at 02:20 AM
happy 3rd! hope you'll continue to write since your unique voice is so needed in the asian american daddy blogosphere. where else am i going to read an open letter to popeye's chicken?
Posted by: Superha | August 09, 2007 at 03:11 AM
Mazel Tov to my favorite Korean Jewish friend!
Posted by: Kvetch | August 09, 2007 at 07:03 AM
Happy Anniversary! I decided years ago that I would make a conscious effort to laugh as much as possible everyday and your blog helps me do that. It's a nice respite from it all and for that I'm grateful. Keep up the good work!
Oh, and btw, The Cheetah is a nice Atlanta strip club choice but make sure you invite me if you go!
Posted by: Rachel E. | August 09, 2007 at 08:21 AM
Happy Anniversary to a fellow NYer...
I love coming here...
Posted by: ~JJ! | August 09, 2007 at 08:31 AM
You scared me, I thought you were about to announce you were done.
Please keep writing MD!
Posted by: metro mama | August 09, 2007 at 09:31 AM
as the saying goes...i'd rather be an asshole than a whole ass.
knowing when to walk away is an art.
good luck with the withdrawl .it sucks...but if alan thicke can do it, so can you..ahhhhhh growing pains!
Posted by: bridget | August 09, 2007 at 09:41 AM
Happy blog anniversary, MD. Cheers to many more years of entertaining stories!
Posted by: Geoffrey | August 09, 2007 at 10:07 AM
You won't shake the groupies no matter what you do. Even David Lee Roth still gets chicks.
Congrats, my friend. It's hard to say interesting things all the time, even for an interesting person.
And I don't think you're an asshole. I think you're a dick.
Posted by: croutonboy | August 09, 2007 at 10:23 AM
Man, I'm glad that Whit got everyone off of that nice-guy-touchy-feely crap and got down to it. Because I know that it will make you feel better: Yes, you will be remembered as an asshole who didn't care what anyone thinks about him.
And that's what makes you so wonderful. It makes you a hard ass; a compassionate supporter of people, causes, and blogs that nobody else cares about; and most of all, it makes you honest.
You don't let others get away with any bullshit, and you don't let yourself get away with it either. Not in parenting or in any other aspect of your life. I like seeing all of the messes and the successes--it lets me know that I'm not the only one making this up as I go along, even if my hair will never be as fabulous as yours.
So go for it, get back to your roots--you know, before they all go gray on you--but please don't stop being the asshole who we all remember and love and who lets us laugh at ourselves.
Posted by: Papa Bradstein | August 09, 2007 at 10:34 AM
I first discovered your site after your open letter to the students at Virginia Tech. Some of the most heartfelt and honest writing I've ever read. No asshole could have written that. Sorry, MD! I know you're really a sincerely nice guy. Congrats on 3 years of blogging.
Posted by: Jessica | August 09, 2007 at 11:03 AM
I can't say you have been working the asshole thing very hard of late. Or, um, reaming it. I'll start over.
If I were to accept the self-applied asshole label which you have donned (which I do not) I would say you are now some kind of Norman Rockwell of the Asshole Universe. Not very smelly. Kind of nice to look at. Bleached. Bring to your readers the stinking corpse of Ambrose Bierce you populist motherfucker! (If you can find it.)
Profuse apologies to follow.
Posted by: p-man | August 09, 2007 at 12:00 PM
Compared to YOU, p-man, I'm not an asshole but shit, it's all relative, right? Some day I'll let you come over so you can read all my hate mail. Fun stuff.
Posted by: MetroDad | August 09, 2007 at 12:13 PM
Congrats on 3 years of blogging, MD. You mange to deliver the goods every time. Pretty damn impressive.
Posted by: Stevo | August 09, 2007 at 12:19 PM
i'd read u even if u wrote abt watching the paint drying on your walls. sorry to go all mushy on u.. but there it is.
Posted by: the mad momma | August 09, 2007 at 12:36 PM
Happy Blogaversary! :)
I know you prolly don't do MeMe's but I wanted ya to know you're thought of! MeMe on the loose! You've been tagged.
http://meangirlsneednotapply.blogspot.com/2007/08/tales-of-weird-and-unknown.html
Posted by: NotAMeanGirl | August 09, 2007 at 12:50 PM
We should all be so lucky to know an asshole like you!
Posted by: misfithausfrau | August 09, 2007 at 12:50 PM
Happy Anniversary, indeed. You rock, my friend.
Posted by: Jonathon Morgan | August 09, 2007 at 01:09 PM
Happy Anniversary! Even if you do root for the wrong NY team.
Posted by: Chag | August 09, 2007 at 01:17 PM
You are too kind. Really.
Posted by: p-man | August 09, 2007 at 01:50 PM
Happiest of Anniversaries MD! I must have found you earlier than I thought. ;)
PS. Thanks for stopping by the other day ;)
Posted by: stef | August 09, 2007 at 02:05 PM
You're my favorite asshole on the internet, MD. Happy anniversary. Keep up the great writing.
Posted by: Steven B | August 09, 2007 at 02:12 PM
Yeah, I don't like that you have this huge following - coz I end up spending way too much time reading all the damn comments. (and no, I can't tear my eyeballs away... impossible!) Besides, everyone else keeps claiming you as their own Metrodad - dammit, you're our bitch, our original Kimchi Papa.
Yeah... not that you've been disappointing but if your theory is correct, you really need to work on how to be an asshole; I'm not buying it. Ya sap.
Happy 3 years of keeping us in stitches!
Posted by: Mama Nabi | August 09, 2007 at 02:20 PM
Happy blogging anniversary. And thanks for the biggest laugh I've had all day: "...the luxuriant black hair on my head that gives me my Spidey powers." Classic.
Posted by: Pattie | August 09, 2007 at 03:00 PM
not one asshole but two. more for me to luv. ;)
Posted by: BossLady | August 09, 2007 at 03:42 PM
i can't think of anyone i think of that is less of an asshole. seriously. and i know a lot of assholes. it's like i live on asshole island. if asshole=long. sigh. seriously, queens needs more assholes like you.
happy #3, MD, and thanks for being willing to share yourself with us.
Posted by: pnuts mama | August 09, 2007 at 03:48 PM
I am far away from having kids but I do enjoy coming here and reading your thoughts on fatherhood. As a Korean-American woman, I find it fascinating how you (and your fellow Rice Daddies) are so different from most of the older Korean men that I know. It's really opened my eyes. Thanks for enlightening me (and making me laugh along the way.)
Congrats on the 3 year anniversary.
Posted by: Christine K | August 09, 2007 at 03:49 PM
Get back to my fucking roots? But my roots are gray! And I just had them colored! Fuck!
What's an old, gray-haired, white guy to do? Have another scotch, er, beer (my portfolio apparently hasn't performed as well as yours, It seems) and write another post. HAPPY BLOGGERVERSARY!
TG
Posted by: Tommy | August 09, 2007 at 04:26 PM
What kind of crappy anniversary post is this? Where is the picture of your lovely wife? I want a refund.
Posted by: nonlineargirl | August 09, 2007 at 05:22 PM
Happy blogiversary (or whatever the word should be)! And oh yeah...asshole. Hmm, no, it doesn't sound right for you.
Posted by: honglien123 | August 09, 2007 at 06:06 PM
Bosslady, you just crossed the line with how well I needed to know MD.
Posted by: Phoenix | August 09, 2007 at 06:06 PM
Happy Anniversary!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!!
You're the only blog that I faithfully look at every day.
I'm sure this is has become time consuming for you, but you can't leave us hanging like this. We can't get this whit & whimsy just anywhere, ya know. Maybe you can get someone to fill in for you, like a ghost-blogger or something. In any case, it's been a blast getting to know you.
You're the biggest asshole I know.
Posted by: LeeMarvin | August 09, 2007 at 07:04 PM