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August 13, 2007


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To my boss, if I tell you I don't have time to get to something that the client thinks YOU are writing and that you failed to tell me they wanted TODAY, don't just assume I am miraculously going to be able to lengthen the day by three hours. Despite what my work ethic has led you to believe, I do not have these magical powers.

Herb Urban

To my great grandmother, who is long dead, I hope she has a wireless hookup from the grave because she needs to hear this. How the fuck could you be so oblivious and thoughtless to change your bra in front of a vanity mirror when you knew I was sleeping ten feet from you? I was merely a child, all of five years old. I did not need my first foray into naked breastland to be your prunny octogenarian knockers! It has taken my several decades, not to mention therapists, to disassociate female breasts with the image of you reaching around in your aged nakedness to put on a bra two sizes too small. So, fuck you and the rascal you rode off on!

Kristin Meldahl

To to the lady that lets her stupid lap dog crap and piss in my yard while I am outside and then has the nerve to ask me for a plastic bag...YOU SUCK! There are plenty of public park space you can take your animal to. AND note to self...if you are going on a walk with your dog bring your own damn plastic bag, the poor thing has been locked up in your house all day and more then likely needs to drop one, so come prepared! THIS IS NOT BRAIN SURGERY!

Tone Loc

Those people on the child-free message boards are darn right scary. I once broke up with a girl when I found out she was spending her time on one of those sites. They're all seriously deranged. I mean, it's one thing if you don't want to have kids. But to spend so much time and energy spewing hatred about parents and children? There's something very sick about that. At least racism comes from ignorance.


To my friend Thom who killed himself on 7/19/07: I'm pissed at you for ending your life, but I forgive you. I have days where I think about you and it can ruin my day b/c I want to speak to you so badly. I wish I could have saved you. I'm sorry I didn't email you when I said I would after we spoke on the 4th of July. I'm sorry you were hurting so bad that you couldn't talk to anyone. I'm sorry you gave up on us and yourself. I hope you're at peace my friend.


To my body: Where the hell are you? I know you're around here somewhere. I just haven't seen you in awhile. Please come back!

creative-type dad

Man, I just hope that little girl realizes what an ass of of father she has -soon.

I just shake my head at such ignorance and the things those type of people pass onto their kids...


Today , I read a graffiti on our office toilet wall ' Indian shit smells fucking bad '. Personally I wanted to really meet this wonderful shit crazed person to ask him how many nationality poop has he smelled to arrive at this conclusion...

btw ur baby is adorable...she also looks like a handful.. :)

I have linked u to my site..hope thts ok?


to Kelly...I thought liberals were supposed to be peace loving enlightened and sensitive people?...did you miss the memo? You should take your anger out on the terrorists who want to kill all of us.

MetroDad your rants are awesome, your blog funny and your love for your daughter is touching. My daughter was born in May the love can't be expressed in words. Kudos to you my friend.


Whoa, this is like a great big rage party. Rock on angry bloggers. (and to the few psycho bloggers that left comments, get a room. In a mental hospital.


Wow. As a fellow Connecticut blogger, I was considering getting together with Darren sometime. After that comment, though, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe not.

Family Man

Metro, I only ask that you make "Memos to the World-at-Large" a more regular feature.


To the US Postal Clerk who felt the need to start speaking to me slowly after I said, "Pardon?" to you when you mumbled. I speak English better than you do, you fucking ignorant yinzer.

To the lady who rear ended my car while my son and I were in it, drove up next to us and said "Your car doesn't have any damage." and drove away while I was reporting the accident to the 911 operator. Yes I'm injured and have been wearing a neck brace, yes my son is okay...not that you asked anyway, and yes, I did get your plate number and plan to press charges. Boo yah, you ignorant cow.

To the crew who "cleaned up" the work of the first crew dispatched by the insurance company to mitigate the flood damage in our basement after the third time in a week. Dudes, did you think we wouldn't notice the pools of untreated sewer water behind the washing machine that we're not sure still works? Shit, did you think that we'd think a quarter-assed job would pass muster?

Shit...what a fucked up two weeks.


Dear MD,

This post just made my week. I love your writing style, and hang on until the last word in every post.

I used to work in Manhattan, and you bring back memories and make me smile.

Thank you for your fine work, friend. Please publish a book, I would buy it in a heartbeat.


A Stay-At-Home-Mom to two little guys in the suburbs of NY. :)


To the woman with the bumper sticker that read "I love global warming" who cut us off last week then gave US the finger. You are so lucky I got my angry Asian man to let your stupid ass move on down the highway without retribution.

To the people with the f*cking dog that barked all night, but somehow managed to stop since 8AM this morning. If I find you I will get you and your little dog too.


To the EMT's who were called to my next door neighbors house at midnight last Tuesday and then declined to transport him to the hospital because "he didn't look sick enough to you" well that lovely 34 year old father of four died on Thursday afternoon at 5:00. So the neighbors and I are all wondering if you could tell us what the bar for "sick enough" is so that we can feel confident that when we call 911 because "we think" someone is sick enough for your help you'll acutally do the job your freaking paid to do. Oh and nice of you to help my neighbor drag her dying husband with the 106 degree temperature to the family van so she could drive him to the emergency room herself. You guys rock! Hey self- described hero you make me sick. Boooooo


To all you fucks who keep staring at my 2 year old son while shooting me dirty looks: it's called a cochlear implant, I don't make my child wear a blue-tooth phone idiot.

(that felt good, thanks)


To the fucking asshole who cut me off this morning at 80 mph in the pouring rain and almost made me crash into a guardrail....fuck you! Hope you die!


To the parents at daycare in line behind me waiting for a parking spot: beeping at me won't make a space magically appear, driving around me also will not. I'm not sitting here because I have nowhere else to be. THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE PARKING LOT. SMALL, IMPULSIVE CHILDREN. CHILDREN THAT DON'T LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE RUNNING ACROSS A PARKING LOT. And you can't see them because you are behind me. Wait your turn. Like a subway and an elevator we must wait until those exiting have done so before we can enter.

To the parents chatting idly on their way out of daycare: EMAIL. PHONE. COFFEE SHOP. Get in your cars and go. Somewhere. Anywhere. There are some very impatient people waiting for parking spots.

To the mom who parked in BOTH handicapped spots, without a handicap tag: WTF?


To the woman in the SEATAC airport who asked me why I was speaking loudly to my children:
Fuck you. A securtity area is a loud place. Kids are overwlemed by the sounds and sights. I speak loudly so they can hear me over the din and I give a run down of what we are doing so I can make sure we're all on the same page. Bite my left tit!

Wow, that felt good!


daughter or no daughter, you should have gone 7 for 7. Maybe his daughter would have learned to never fuck (figuratively) with a pissed off asian guy!


These are too awesome.

To my neighbor douchebags who rev their shiteous green crotch rocket motorcycles outside their house for NO REASON at precisely the time my son goes to sleep: Fuck you and nobody cares/thinks you are cool.

To my insane stepmother: You have tortured my siblings and I for over 16 years with your controlling bullshit and the only reason we (or anyone else) are civil to you is because we are trying to make my Dad's life easier. And no, the fact that you go to church every day now does not change the fact that if you get up to Heaven, the doorman is going to laugh at you and tell you to get your ugly ass to the back of the line and keep you there for all of eternity. Waiting in line. Never getting in.

To Senato rCraig: Nobody's shitting stance is that wide.

To my unborn second son, due in 2 weeks: C'mon, already, little man! Stop with the headbutts to the cervix! Mama don't like!

Thanks! Feel better now.


To Heidi and to the PTA President:
You two do not know each other but are so much alike. You were drawn to me like a magnet b/c you knew you could manipulate and exploit. Both of you are classic narcissists, and both have preyed on my being basically a nice person who has empathy for others. I am finished with this nonsense. Your selfishness is pathetic. I feel more sorry for your children than for anyone else. Go to hell, leave me alone, and get some therapy.



Not all "Child-Free" hate children, we just hate the rude condescending parents that allow children to behave as do wild animals screaming in our ears or destroying our peace. You spoke of such a situation; the older girl bullying your 'Peanut' is one such child.

won’ ...

MacDue lines include conveyors, palletisers and pallet wrappers, as well as our shrink wrappers and case packers


To my balls: damn, you look good.

Bicycle Storage

I don't usually spend a lot of time online reading blogs or article unless the are about football or cycling. So this was a unexpected bonus to come across this post.


get in wicked flmiay fights cos i havent been able to make it all the way out to the burbs just to show someone how to work a laptop hello get the internet guy to do it when he hooks it up jesus i have shit to do!


Me too, have always loved that quote. It daewnd me a little while back though, the reason we keep doing the same things is because be continue to THINK the same THOUGHTS. So, it boils down to changing your thoughts, lifting them higher. Thanks much and take care.

Phone Couples Therapy

Can you tell us more about this? I'd love to find out some additional information.

Eating Disorders Channel

I do agree with you, avoiding the spicy food before attending the meeting. Even during exams , we need to avoid spicy food.

So close, and yet so far

If any child doesn't listen to anyone, train him in a such a way that, he should give respect to everyone.Don't ha-rash him.

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