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April 09, 2007


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I want to be friends with you and your childless friend!
I have a few pals who lost their sense of humor when they had children and a few relatives-in-law who never had a sense of humor to begin with. The world has gone crazy and not just about parenting. You really can't poke fun at anything these days.
But if I can't joke about my kids and my lack of parenting skills, then I will go mad very quickly.

Your friend should definitely start his own blog.


I think parents get all freaked out and caught up in the choices they made regarding their children because it is the most important job they will ever have. It like if you choose the wrong method of parenting, your child might turn out to be Ted Bundy or worse, Ann Coulter. And then you will forever be labled as BAD PARENT.

That being said, I go the instinctual parenting route. Which is why my son thinks beans are jelly bellies.


Personally, I think it's an even more insidious problem - people, in general, are losing their sense of humour all over America. Of course, when it comes to raising children - as one poster already mentioned, having the fear of Bad Parent labelling on you - everything multiplies to oh-my-gawd-itude levels. I'm happy there are people like you and your friend around to give some people a good kick in the rear.

Oops, John's found the vodka. brb.


I can't imagine getting through parenthood without a good sense of humor. We'd all be 6 ft under by now.


Read him? Of course! It's fantastic to find parents who don't take themselves to seriously.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

I agree. Everyone is getting too uptight. Relax... smoke a cigarette... have a drink.


And also parents who don't proof their comments before hitting "post."


I have to agree that there seems to be a general sense-of-humour crisis over there...this is why your friend Mark must start a blog. He should think of it as a community service.
Also, I believe that making outrageous comments on media blogs are the "crank-calls" of the 21st century (Caller ID having killed the art-form we grew up with).
And finally - loved the "adoptees" gag :)


Echoing the other posts... it is sad to see people lose their sense of humour. I work in a pretty humourless environment. While I'm not the only person with a young child in the department, I'm the only one who hasn't lost my sense of fun about the whole crazy working mum life. I credit my almost three-year-old daughter with the fact that I'm the most laid back, easygoing and fastest to laugh person in the place. I guess the biggest thing I've learned is that every little stressful work event can be erased by doing a silly dance in the kitchen.

Rachel E.

I call them SCARY MOMS!! And they scare the hell outta me. I knew a mom that actually color-coordinated her sugar crystals for each season or holiday - green and red crystals mixed in with the regular white for Christmas, pink and lavendar for Easter, black and orange for Halloween, etc. All I want to do is give them a joint, grab them by the shoulders, shake the shit out of them and scream, "IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY TO RELAX AND LAUGH AT YOURSELF! DON'T TAKE IT ALL SO SERIOUSLY!"


Let me guess... You got some pissed off emails after your last post, didn't you?

That's what you get when you post stoned.

Mrs. Q.

It's because parents are insecure and terrified of messing up their kids that they preach their point of view to anyone who will listen. For me, it's even worse with fellow stay-at-home moms, because many feel that their child is THEIR JOB. Jeezch. Have a laugh and a drink.

de-lurking here. I think I have a crush on you. hahahah. I hope you can take a joke.

Seriously, my kid is 17 and I have been through all the 'overly' parental phases. Laughing with my kid is the most important ingredient now. And loving my man.

Mitch McDad

WOW! My parents made a point of telling me from day one that I was adopted; that way I never knew any different. What they didn't tell me was that I was ASIAN! Holy crap. No wonder I'm so damn good with chopsticks, and can't drive for shit. (sorry…cheap joke).

And instead of "adoptee," I prefer to be referred to as an "I-promise-I'll-pull-out-ah-crap-hey-are-you-on-the-pill American."

Also, what is the answer on the breastfeeding 16 year olds??? Or does it just depend on which pundit you happen to adhere to?

And tell Mark he's money.

Great post—People taking themselves too seriously are right up there with inconsiderate axe-murders in my book.


He sounds hysterical and I think the White Shadow is a perfect blog name. (I loved that show)


My wife started going on parenting message boards back when she was pregnant with my oldest, now 8. The stick up their collective asses was just as big then as it is now.


I totally want a spend a weekend with you and Mark prank-commenting on all the parenting message boards. It always amazes me to see how humorless many of the people find their way there!


OMG! You crack me up every time I read your post! You and your friend sure have a sick sense of humor...BUT I LOVE IT!!!

Sense of humor is what gets me through the day, otherwise you might as well put a strait jacket on me NOW! And we must have a really sick sense of humor to be bringing a 4th one into the world soon.


That is hee-freakin-larious. Make that dude start a blog.


You want to see humorless? Come to my office. I don't think anyone there has cracked a smile in the past decade.

Heather AKA Epiphany Alone

People, puleeease! Don't encourage him to start a blog!! A normal, well-adjusted adult doesn't troll parenting forums. This man clearly has a PROBLEM. Surely, there is an effective 12-step program to help poor, adled Mark.

His dog even thinks he's deeply uncool.


"hey ladies, while you’re all up, can you get us a beer?"

That cracked ME up, MD! If the parenting board mommies didn't laugh, they really don't have a sense of humor.

Cee Kay

Hilarious!! Loved the letter you wrote to the Toddlers too.

And yes - all this "Politically Correct" crap irritates me no end. Love the joke about adoptees :) I would definitely read your friend's blog. Judgmental parents kill me too - I have been thinking of doing a post on that for a long time but you beat me to it and yours is far better than what mine would have been. Scrapped from the drafts!!!


So hilarious - you know who really can't see anything funny about themselves - Christians. (I can say that, I am one and I go to one of the biggest bible churches in the land.)

the new girl

Never too early to start using those thumbs.

Anne Glamore

Yesterday I sat at my computer and watched the parents on my twins' soccer team write EIGHT emails back and forth over whether to have snacks and drinks after the game on Friday since it will end close to dinner time.

I almost pulled my hair out but I just colored it.

Personally, I'm bringing a flask of gin and POM wonderful to enjoy on the sidelines. My boys can fend for themselves.


I can't believe that there's even a Libby Lu controversy. How can ANY parent think that it's ok for their daughters to go there to get primped up like a bunch of street walkers? Talk about sending the wrong message!


My teenager routinely tells people I'm driving him towards therapy because I'm so anti June Cleaver. Maybe its the "For Sale" shirt I had made for him or trying to sell him to a total stranger in the supermarket??

lucy b.

Mark...please start your own blog!


Keep it up Pierre, many of us still think things are funny.

Woman with Kids

OMG, that's hysterical. Barbie and Trixie, huh?


I am so with you, MD. Want to know what the world's greatest living nightmare is? Serving on the PTA. I've been on it for 3 months now and I'm about to lose my mind with some of these parents.

Good lord, just shoot me now!


MetroDad, you ROCK.

I would read Mark for sure. Encourage him!


I got kicked off a Mommy group for being too funny. They can all kiss my "slacker mom" ass.


As a member of the Toilet-Acceptable Solutions Society (T-ASS), I'd like to remind you of value in teaching your daughter the do's and don't of acceptable items that go inside the throne.

Drunk Mummy

Hi Metrodad - love the blog. I think you are a great antidote to the hordes of self-righteous competitive parents out there (on both sides of the Atlantic). I sincerely hope your friend Mark continues to prick the inflated balloon of parental pomposity. Cheers!


Oh for heaven's sake, RIGHT ON! MD, if people would lighten up, world peace might actually BE a possibility!

And yes, I would totally lurk in the Caustic Caucasian's blog if he would start one. I loved the bit about the Blackberry.

the weirdgirl

Oh my god, I love you and your friend Mark!

Thanks, you made my day.


As a novice parent -- 10 weeks -- take my comment for what it's worth, but I think parents become much too uptight about doing a good job, so whenever someone else does something differently or has a varying opinion about something, they take it too personally. And I think that often extends beyond parenting, as well. People just need to become thicker skinned. And learn not to care so much. Love your kid like crazy, and the rest usually falls into place.


No offense to the joke. I am one of those parents that adopted a PRECIOUS child from China after being told there was NO WAY I would get preggars. SO I belong to some of those boards you speak of - good to know it is not just the adoption parents! Some of those folks take it all so literally. Thanks for keeping it real!


Rock on, MD! I can't tell you how many humorless parents that I meet on a daily basis.


I loved this post, Metrodad. I have to admit that since the birth of twin daughters, I'm slightly addicted to parenting forums and message boards. For the most part, people are generally ok but you're right. There are some seriously annoying and judgmental people out there. Drives me nuts! Good for you and Mark for helping people realize that there is a (much) lighter side to parenting.


Those comments are effing hysterical! Mark definitely needs his own blog. I'd love to see him become a guest blogger at ClubMom.com.

Stay at home dad

In London we're too busy avoiding street crime and arranging our next appointment at the dentist to have a sense of humour.

I shall try to educate myself by coming here more often though.




Last night me and my husband couldn;t find the baby and we immediately jumped up and shouted "Hooray!" (the baby was in his room playing in the darK)

Now if I posted that I would get some angry bitches yelling at me for being a bad parent. I understand brother!


You're hilarious...!

I'm a family law lawyer, no children, and I think I share your sense of humour....

our local Children's Aid Society lawyer was talking about how serious a job parenting is... and how it was hard, time consuming and not to be taken lightly (you know, especially for a professional, explaining to the young childless girl how serious and difficult it was)...

I responded by telling her that if I ever had kids I didn't see what the big fuss was... I'd just crate train my kids and crate them during the days. If its good enough for dogs, why not a 2 year old?

Needless to say she didn't find it as funny as I did.

Anyway, great blog and great attitude on life.

ray lee

But a joke is only a joke when it is known to a be a joke? Some of those parents on that forum will never know it was a joke and it is understandable that they took things seriously. I mean, that's what the job of those forums are for right? It's like a support group kind of thing. Imagine an AA meeting where someone comes in and starts drinking in front of everyone. Maybe to that person, it's a joke and it's funny, but it sure doesn't help those around them.

And the problem is, maybe you and your friend are just pretending, but there is really a possibility of people out there that would do such things! How many times do you see on the news about parents allowing their kids to do some crazy shit and you look at yourself and say, "WTF were they thinking? Why would you allow a 2 year old to smoke cigarettes?" Or how about, "The child burned the house down cause the parents allowed them to play with fire IN the house?" Might sound surprising, but we live in a world where there are many fucked up people who really endanger their kids. It is understandable for other parents to be really uptight and OCD about how their kids are raised.

However, I completely understand that some parents really need to get that stick out of their asses and stop treating parenting like a chore. Sure, it's a thankless fulltime job and their kids might not turn out to be what they wanted, but as much as it is a growth process for the children, it's also a growth process for the parents as well. Might as well make the best of it right?

-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Jason Crabtree

Man, I totally agree with you. My wife reads the message boards over at BabyCenter. Some of those people are quite fond of themselves. Like their shit doesn't stink. The sad part is, their kids are only going to grow up to be the same way.


I've always thought that babycenter and urbanbaby were for suburban moms with too much free time on their hands...and too many poles up their butts!


When did you get a dog? I don't remember that you had a dog...wow.

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