Every parent with young toddlers understands that it's healthy for one's marriage to schedule "date nights" with one's spouse in order to keep the marriage healthy.
But let's face it. It ain't that easy. Shit, the going rate for babysitters in NYC is $15/hour (plus dinner + cab fare.) If BossLady and I want to run out for a burger, a beer, and a movie, it usually ends up costing us over $150.00!
Not really the cheap date night that we were looking for.
Today, the wife and I both took the day off from work for Good Friday. However, we soon realized that the Peanut's daycare was open. So instead of going to church, what did we do? We dropped the kid off at daycare, returned home, took a 2-hour nap, went out for a leisurely lunch, did some shopping, and headed out to the movies ("Blades of Glory"...hilarious!)
Now, it's late at night and I'm feeling guilty. Shocking? Not really. Considering I was raised as a Christian and grew up surrounded by Jews, guilt is always looming around somewhere in the background.
Maybe it's all the scotch I've had tonight but I can't help but feel more than a little remorse that we had such a great time on Good Friday. But you know what? Screw it. Both my wife and I work hard and we rarely get any free time to ourselves. I don't have one of those WWJD bracelets but I'm pretty sure if Jesus had a kid, he'd do the same thing, right?
Ok, maybe he wouldn't get high and start blogging but I'm sure he'd be with me in spirit (Holy spirit, right?)
Man, I really am going to hell. Why? Just because I wanted some "alone time" with my wife? Am I the only one? Anyone else play hooky today?
No? Ok, what are YOU doing this weekend? (Please tell me you're going to church to pray for my soul.)
You may be a heathen but you're awesome! As for date night? What's that?
Posted by: leora | April 07, 2007 at 12:32 AM
Seriously, I'm sure Jesus is with you on this one.
Guilt be damned.
xx
Posted by: Adele Richards | April 07, 2007 at 12:36 AM
I'm a Buddhist MD, but I'll light some incense for you. In my view it's all relative, you could have ditched both your child AND your wife today and gone out to do some guy thing. Not to mention, instead of smoking a doobie (I'm assuming here) you could be smoking some crack. So there you go, if you were Buddhist, I think your next life might be plagued with a clingy kid or something, but that's about it.
Posted by: honglien123 | April 07, 2007 at 02:09 AM
Um, celebrating my birthday and going to church for Easter.
Yes, we will pray for you. A LOT.
:-)
Posted by: samantha jo campen | April 07, 2007 at 02:24 AM
Um ... well, went to a Seder tonight, and tomorrow we will probably spend some ungodly sum on sitter fees to go get a cheap meal and watch Blades of Glory. (Please tell me it's even close to worth it ...)
BTW, as a half-Jew/half-Catholic mongrel, I can tell you that life is more fun when you can ignore the guilt. Not that I always can, but it's worth a try now and again.
Posted by: Lara | April 07, 2007 at 03:16 AM
I can't contain my jealousy MD! Date night?! What's that, is right! I'm sure Jesus will understand...I'll talk to him, I'm sure he'll listen to this Buddhist.
Posted by: Waya | April 07, 2007 at 07:30 AM
If the going rate for date nights is $150, then I give you a hearty fist-pump for taking advantage of childcare that you have already paid for.
This weekend, JG and I are having Easter lunch/dinner (what do you call it at 3pm?!) with friends so that we can be a buffer between them and their obnoxious extended family. We've done it before and it works out pretty well; we haven't heard all of their stories and we just nod along with the crazy. Another family is calling dibs on us for next year. :)
Happy Easter!
Posted by: RA | April 07, 2007 at 09:37 AM
I'm more of a conservative Christian and I didn't go to Good Easter service last night for several reason. Since I'm flying out tomorrow, I don't think I'll be attending Easter service, either.
Posted by: enygma | April 07, 2007 at 09:48 AM
I went to church. HA! But I'm a good Korean boy. And...I figure lots of those Korean church girls will need a drink after Good Friday service.
But, instead of preying on young women the commemorate the day my Lord and Savior was tortured and nail to a big piece of wood. I decided to smoke some Northern Lights/Kush.
Then I played video games until my eyes dried out. But this morning, I made it to a 3 hour muay thai/Brazilian jiujitsu training session.
Posted by: MikeyMike | April 07, 2007 at 12:40 PM
I had the opposite thing - my kids' daycare was closed. I had to take a vacation day and play with the kids. We went to the park - just the three of us - where I got to look like the rockstar dad with toddler twins to all the moms.
Posted by: Matthew | April 07, 2007 at 04:33 PM
My grandmother was a nun and left her order to marry my grandfather. She lived the remainder of her life as The Most Religious Layperson on the Planet. My aunt, the Wild One of the Family, ran off and got married to a guy in a motorcycle gang by a justice of the peace one year on Good Friday.
As long as you didn't eat meat on your date, I'm pretty sure you're good.
I used to bring the kid to daycare on some of my institutional days off. She got to play with her friends and I got to catch up on stuff around the house and have my nails done. Not a thing in the world wrong ith hardworking parents getting some time off.
Posted by: Kara | April 07, 2007 at 06:05 PM
MD,
I did damn near the same thing. I went to see Blades of Glory, as well.
Thing is? My husband doesn't want to see it. Everytime I saw the ads, I'd start cackling maniacally. So, I went with a friend of mine. Another man, but his wife hates Will Farrell. Yep, he stayed with the baby, and I went out on a date with another man.
At least, you were out with your spouse...
Now, don't you feel better?
I'll be gettin' my ass to church tomorrow (sittin' with my partner in crime on one side, husband on the other.) I'll say an extra one for you.
***I make this sound scandalous, but it's not. We're practically brother and sister (not like Stranz and Fairchild!), but it does sound tawdry on paper.
Posted by: M'Lynn | April 07, 2007 at 06:28 PM
Screw guilt. You deserve a day off together. It's for the good of the child.
Totally.
Good Friday indeed!
Posted by: Michelle O'Neil | April 07, 2007 at 06:50 PM
Brudder, I'll say a prayer for you tomorrow morning.
My (Korean) mom just called me to tell me that she is sick and may not make it to church tomorrow. I guarantee if I skip she'll be there. No way am I sleeping in tomorrow.
Getting the korean stink eye from mom is never fun.
Posted by: HapaSC | April 07, 2007 at 06:59 PM
I don't even know what Good Friday is, so in my book you are totally off the hook =)
Posted by: Evilynmo | April 07, 2007 at 07:00 PM
Shhh--don't tell anyone, but Herr is off every other Friday and I only work for an hour or so from home on Fridays. The girls get dropped off at daycare at 7AM and we pick them up at 5PM. Most Fridays I just clean the house and get the groceries. The Fridays that Herr is off, we go to lunch,we go explore, and we have plans to take the train into the city for the day in a few weeks. I don't tell anyone--it's just our fun little secret for alone time. Quite frankly, we haven't found a reliable babysitter to go out in the evenings, so a Friday is just as great as far as I am concerned. Glad t o hear we are not the only ones who play hooky!
Posted by: misfithausfrau | April 07, 2007 at 07:12 PM
I think you did 100% the right thing (but I'm Jewish so maybe I am not a good person to ask!) --lol anyway I love how funny you are. Everything you write I just laugh and laugh.
Posted by: amy | April 07, 2007 at 07:53 PM
My dad asked me if I went to church yesterday; I responded that I'd listened to the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack. Same diff.
Posted by: Lauren | April 07, 2007 at 10:22 PM
For all of you who think Christianity is a crock.
The Cardinal for the Archdiocese of Chicago slipped and broke his hip. He was blessing Easter baskets and slipped on Holy Water.
The Chicago Archdiocese has over 24 priests who have been disciplined for child molestation. Who says God doesn't punish the wicked abd those who abet them?
I also giggled like a 2nd grader when I read this. And this is why I have to go to church.
Posted by: MikeyMike | April 07, 2007 at 11:08 PM
I am more of a spiritual person than a church person so I say way to go! Plus, God should understand - he created toddlers.
Btw - I nominated you for the "Blogitzer" award over at the Blogger's Choice Awards. Everyone needs to vote for you!
http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/
Posted by: gina | April 08, 2007 at 02:34 AM
My husband and I both had the day off however we were dumb and kept both of our boys home with us. You are my hero!
Posted by: Pamela | April 08, 2007 at 08:23 AM
Happy Easter, MD.
You did the right thing. Making "alone time" for your wife is just as important as making time for the Peanut and whatever spiritual entity you choose to worship.
It's all about finding the right balance. Looks to me like you got that handled.
Enjoy the day with your family!
Posted by: LeeMarvin | April 08, 2007 at 10:20 AM
That sounds like the best damn good friday ever. I envy you.
Posted by: cry it out! | April 08, 2007 at 10:37 AM
We celebrated Sunday as we always do, at the Church of Pancakes and The Sunday Paper. In our pjs.
Us heathens have our traditions too.
Posted by: Woman with Kids | April 08, 2007 at 06:25 PM
You're killing me! The funny part is that I blogged on WWJD as well. Only I changed it to "What Would Jesus Drink?"
You pay for the daycare...use it!!!!
Posted by: FENICLE | April 08, 2007 at 09:19 PM
MD - I'm a minister, and our daycare is closed every Friday...so my husband had toddler duty for 12 hours!
I can give you the Professional Minister Seal of Approval - don't feel guilty. We DREAM of a Friday like yours - Good Friday indeed.
Posted by: betsy | April 08, 2007 at 09:30 PM
I`m Catholic, but I think I must have been out sick the day they taught us the guilt lesson.
So you want some positive affirmation? You got it!
TE ABSOLVO!
(I hope you guys had great sex Friday, too.)
Posted by: L. | April 08, 2007 at 10:21 PM
If Jesus had kids (which it is assumed by some...) he'd so the same thing...But would he? Isn't good Friday the day that Jesus carried his cross to Calvary? But see, if he never died then, there wouldn't really be a Good Friday, would there? I dunno...but I guess it all depends on what tense of Jesus' life you are speaking in and yada yada yada.
We play hooky every stinking chance we get...We're new in town and I am not paying someone 30 bucks to sit on their bum. Our kid goes to bed at seven and sleeps through the night...so if our kid's grandma wants to take her away on what would be a religious holiday or whatever, so be it.
Jesus had to mack on his wife to get some alone time away from the kids...
and so do you.
Posted by: Latia | April 08, 2007 at 11:36 PM
The last time my dh and I went out on a "date" we just sortve sat there at stared at each other. Then we started talking about the kids. You can't win here. At least you had a good time.
Posted by: Sheri | April 09, 2007 at 12:26 AM
The last time my dh and I went out on a "date" we just sortve sat there at stared at each other. Then we started talking about the kids. You can't win here. At least you had a good time.
Posted by: Sheri | April 09, 2007 at 12:27 AM
I went to confession on Friday - after listing off my sins I also asked the priest if he could absolve you of yours - you know, kind of a twofer deal. I figured I could handle your Our Fathers and Hail Marys - you could just owe me.
He started cracking up laughing. When he finally caught his breath, he said, "Sure, that MetroDad kills me."
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | April 09, 2007 at 08:44 AM
My boyfriend and I are atheists. My family does not go to church (my dad's the "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual" type), and we told my boyfriend's family (Catholics.) that we went to church with my family.
Easter is just another Sunday for me.
Posted by: Rach | April 09, 2007 at 11:38 AM
we did these planned "daycare dates" all of the time well every few months. Even now with him in 1st grade we have one planned for friday to celebrate our anniversary-would I like a night out sure but lunch is just as good & usually cheaper, plus it is early enough that I won't all asleep in the movie theater
Posted by: paula | April 09, 2007 at 01:24 PM
My hubby and I played hookey on Wednesday and did the exact same thing (minus the kid and in was in Philly) I don't think Jesus would be mad, it's not like you took the day off and went to satan camp or something ;) Happy Easter.
Posted by: J | April 09, 2007 at 02:10 PM
you should only feel guilty when you bypass such opportunities to roll with your wife sans kid, man. they're too few and far between. besides, church and guilt will always be there for you. nice work...
Posted by: wc | April 09, 2007 at 02:52 PM
Don't sweat it, MD. Free babysitting is free babysitting!
Posted by: Ian | April 09, 2007 at 03:31 PM
I haven't been in a church in YEARS.
I would feel guilty if I had spent my day there instead of having fun.
Posted by: whit | April 09, 2007 at 04:49 PM
I'm 38th!
Posted by: Bradley | April 09, 2007 at 04:52 PM
Since we get a four-day weekend every year for Easter in Australia, we made the most of it by doing as little as possible: playing at the park; renting movies; bbq'ing with friends; and just generally having some serious "us-time" with our toddler. Absolute heaven!
Posted by: iflyg | April 09, 2007 at 06:20 PM
Don't tell Clare, but her Mom and I have left her at daycare (or school now) and taken a day for ourselves too. So it was Good Friday...you deserved it.
Posted by: Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad | April 09, 2007 at 06:43 PM
We did the same thing today: hubby gets the beloved holiday "Day After Easter Sunday" off, so we dropped the toddlers off at their morning daycare and away we went Now, all we did was FedEx a package, shop for home office supplies, and grab a donut on the way home, but boy that donut was good!
Posted by: Henitsirk | April 09, 2007 at 08:29 PM
See, MD, the thing to do is to get yourself a second wife. That way, Wife #2 can watch the Peanut when you and Bosslady go out, and Bosslady can occasionally take her turn on kid duty so's you can step out with Wife #2! Knowing Bosslady, I'm pretty sure she won't mind a bit, really.
Of course, you'll eventually need a bigger apartment so Wife #2 can have her own bedroom, but in the meantime, just toss an Aerobed on the floor in Peanut's room so she can deal with the kid if she wakes up at night. Pretty much a win-win for everyone, and I bet over time you'd spend less on a second wife than on babysitters in NYC.
Posted by: Kim Voynar | April 10, 2007 at 11:35 AM
I took Monday off and spent it with my daughter.
No guilt though, if I was married I would do the same. When you get less than the time you want with your child, it is a bit different.
Rock On
Posted by: JG | April 10, 2007 at 04:16 PM
there are so many legitimate things to feel guilt about, but spending time with your wife should never be one of them. if you aren't a 'worshipping/practicing' religious person to begin with, i don't think you need to feel guilt over not observing the holy day, especially in a congregation you aren't a member of. i'm sure God is pleased that you chose to attend to your marriage, whatever day it was. happy easter, metrofamily!
Posted by: pnuts mama | April 10, 2007 at 05:25 PM
"...They all got together and decided that they now wish to be referred to as Asians!"
This is absolutely the funniest thing I've read all year. You must copyright it and send it to Bill Maher.
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | April 10, 2007 at 09:09 PM
Dude, for sure you did the right thing. Mom and dad have to look out for the marriage or the childcare base won't be there, so you gotta prioritize! You did the right thing. And in fact, I just read a book by Dr. Kevin Leman, a Christian childrearing author/teacher, who would 100% agree with you.
Posted by: Charlie | April 11, 2007 at 03:09 PM
Dude, my husband and I are both Catholics, and we spent Good Friday going to see "Grindhouse" and then going to a hockey game. See you in hell!
Posted by: Laura | April 11, 2007 at 03:52 PM
Oh, wow! I'm Asian now? Looks like I've got a bunch of government forms to update!
Enjoy your day off, Metro Dad. How often do you and BossLady get time to yourselves? Nothing wrong with having a good, Good Friday.
Posted by: Denver Dad | April 12, 2007 at 12:49 PM
It's good to read a quality article for once
Posted by: | October 22, 2009 at 11:38 PM
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Posted by: Medratu | August 05, 2012 at 02:27 AM