Quotalicious!

Long week, my friends.  Work has busted my ass this week so I haven't had much time to post.  However, as I've done before, I came across some interesting quotes, both funny and serious, that I thought I'd share with all of you (along, of course, with my normal two-cent commentary.) Enjoy...

"Being pregnant is such a serious event in a woman's life, and to make light of life when I had an extra burger is getting a little annoying."---Halle Berry addressing those ongoing pregnancy rumors.

I cracked up when I heard this quote because it reminded me of the time when my buddy Andrew ran into an old friend at the gym.  The two of them were running on adjoining treadmills when Andrew asked her, "So, when are you due?"  The woman turned to him in shock and replied, "What?  When am I DUE?  I'm NOT pregnant!"  Andrew, being the quick-thinking attorney that he is, quickly answered, "No, no.  I said what do you DO?  Haven't you switched jobs since I last saw you?"  One of the all-time best recoveries I've ever heard.

It's a shame that every female celebrity who gains a little weight is automatically assumed to be pregnant.  Shit, if the roles were reversed and I were a famous person, I'm guessing that the paparazzi would probably think I was somewhere around my 10th week these days!

Damn, only 11 weeks until beach season!  Hard to get motivated for the gym when it's 13 degrees outside. 

''I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but fashion-wise, that boy died years ago.''---Joy on "My Name is Earl"

I just found these old photos of me that were taken at an office party about 5-6 years ago.  Holy crap, I used to be a stylish guy!  When it came to my work attire, I had a lot of friends in fashion who used to give me old runway samples or would throw huge discounts my way.  Back then, my whole closet was filled with these beautiful Calvin Klein Black Label suits that I'd get for under $200. 

Then, the "office casual" look came around and suits were no longer in fashion.  Shortly thereafter, I had a kid.  These days?  Shit, I'm lucky if I make it to work without any Cheerios sticking to my shirt collar.  Today, I got to the office and noticed that I not only had cranberry juice stains on my pants but also the Peanut had stuck some gum on the back of my sweater. Classy, eh?

I swear it's only a matter of time before I start showing up to work rocking some "mom jeans" and a fucking muumuu!

''No, that pierced ear looks great...especially if you're going to a Wham! concert with Molly Ringwald.''---Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men."  

Speaking of fashion, I was at a conference for work on Wednesday when I noticed this 55-year-old man desperately clinging to every vestige of his long-forgotten youth.  Aside from the ponytail and his absurdly cheesy gold necklace, the guy was wearing a Van Halen t-shirt, a black blazer, and Doc Martens.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Seriously, this dude would have looked better in some mom jeans and a muumuu.   

"Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them." -- Milhouse on "The Simpsons"

Every time that the BossLady and I start making out or fooling around, the Peanut runs over to us and tries to separate our bodies, yelling, "No, Mommy! No, Daddy!"  If she had a crowbar handy, I'm sure she'd use it. Question: Is it us or does this happen to any of you also? 

"It was like some ghastly lunch where after lunch your parents have asked the children to dress up and sing."---Simon Cowell to Sanjaya on "American Idol"

Maybe this is a Korean thing but when I was a little kid, my brother and I fucking hated it when my parents had company over.  We'd always be forced to wear these ridiculous matching outfits and quietly serve hors d'oeuvres to the guests.  After dinner, like trained monkeys with an accordion, I'd have to play the piano and my brother would have to play the violin.  Then, my parents and all the guests would coo at us and tell us how "special" we were.  Fuck that!

I swore that I would never do the same thing with my kids.  I don't care if the Peanut can blow bubbles while playing Rachmaninoff's 3rd Concerto in one hand and juggling balls of fire in the other, I'm not a big believer in the whole "putting your kids on a pedestal" trend. 

Now, I don't want to come across as some old geezer talking about the "good old days" but it seems that modesty has disappeared faster than Lindsay Lohan's panties.  I see a lot of parents out there constantly boasting about their child's achievements so it doesn't entirely surprise me to learn that several recent studies are showing that parental efforts to boost children's self-esteem have resulted in a generation of narcissistic college students.  Look, you only have to watch 5 minutes of "My Super Sweet 16" to see the effects of parents who are obsessed with believing that their child is "truly special."

I know there's a fine line between imbuing your child with confidence and inflating his or her ego.  But man, is it me or does it feel like a lot of parents are stepping all over it? 

"That's it, sweetie. Let it all out. Doesn't that feel good?"---Mom to toddler screaming in stroller on the subway

Like many parents, I live in fear of the public tantrum.  So far, we've been pretty lucky.  The Peanut usually saves her tantrums for the apartment.  Beginning on her 2nd birthday, we started instituting "time outs."  We actually call it "the naughty point."  Anyway, the Peanut really lives in total fear of the "naughty point" and whenever we threaten her with it, she immediately cools out. 

Except yesterday. 

The Peanut had a total meltdown at the grocery store because I told her to stop grabbing shit off the shelves.  The "naughty point" threat didn't work so I quickly paid for our items, tucked the Peanut under my arms like a football, and walked home 5 blocks in the freezing cold...all while the Peanut screamed like a total banshee. 

She screamed in the lobby.  She screamed in the elevator.  She screamed in the hallway.  Finally, when we entered the apartment, I plopped her down on the floor and, with a sigh of exasperation, said, "Go ahead, Peanut.  We're home now.  Scream your little face off!"

Of course, she immediately stops crying, gets a big smile on her face, leans over to kiss me on the cheek and pat my head, and cheerfully asks, "Daddy tired?"

Man, raising kids is like living with a miniature schizophrenic sometimes, isn't it? 

"Yo, Jack!  If you get rich off of this stuff, take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to no college!"---Tracey on "30 Rock"

Unfortunately, BossLady and I didn't win the $370 million lottery this week.  However, we did have fun talking about how we'd spend the money.  Like most people, I spend a lot of time worrying about paying for Peanut's college tuition or our retirement savings.  So yeah, if I had $370 million, it'd be nice to not have to worry about that anymore. 

At the same time, I can't stop thinking about my friend Rob, who lost his newborn son to a brain seizure this week.  As HBM put it best, "whether you already know Rob, or don't yet know him, you should know this: he's one of us, a parent who is embracing parenthood with his words.  Let his words remind you to be so, so grateful for the children that you carry in your arms. And because the fullness of love that surrounds Rob's son's life and death - so beautifully shared with all of us - remind you that true love lives always, eternally, in the heart."

Hug your kids extra tight tonight.  

"A lot of the songs were ones that were recorded in Larry’s spare bedroom."---Bono talking about "The Joshua Tree"

On a lighter note, can you believe that U2's "The Joshua Tree" was released TWENTY years ago today? Man, that makes me feel old.  I remember first falling in love with U2 in 1983 after the album "War" was released.  I'd never heard a rocking political anthem like "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" and I recall being completely blown away.  Then, during my senior year in high school, "Joshua Tree" was released.  From the second I heard the cassette, I played it virtually non-stop.  To me, it was nearly a perfect album.  Several months later, I would leave New York to drive cross-country and start a new life in California.  In many ways, that album was the soundtrack of my journey. 

Where were you when The Joshua Tree came out?  Does it bring back any memories for you?   

Comments

[Jonathon]

We haven't had a meltdown in a few weeks, but every time it's happened, and Edan can tell I'm exhausted from hearing her spew sound-vomit all over the place, she gets all sweet -- BECAUSE SHE KNOWS.

Oh, the ways in which I'm manipulated by a 2 year old.

[Mikeymike]

Smashing Pumpkins is secretly recording their new album in the garage studio near my house. Do you like them?

It makes me feel old that I remember when Gish came out.

And I ddin't know/care about U2 until that episode of 21 Jump Street where John Depp and that other dude go to some South American country or whatevers.

[Amy, Minneapolis, MN]

I was in college when Joshua Tree came out and it is the soundtrack to the summer before my junior year. In fact, I think nearly all the pictures I took of friends that year featured the Joshua Tree pose of all included in the photo. Not one of anyone looking at the camera smiling. How is it 20 years old? Next year it will be old enough to toast itself.

[Kathy]

The quick recovery bit reminded me of the quickest recovery I ever heard. I was walking through a park with a guy friend of mine. He was complaining about being single as we walked by a herd of sheep. I pointed to the sheep and said, "now you know where to come when you get desperate" and without missing a beat he said, "no thanks Kathy, I'll take the sheep!"

[Alice]

It may not just be a Korean thing, MD! My Chinese parents would often make my sisters and I perform the same types of routines whenever they had company over. I hated it and would always try to hide in a closet so I didn't have to play the violin in front of other people.

To this day, I think it's partly to blame why I have some sort of deep-seated phobia of inviting people over for dinner.

[Xdm]

1) Performing
We put together dance routines to grease. We always chose Greased Lightning so we could sing the word "shit."
2) Joshua Tree
I was on a field trip in HS to Chicago. As hundreds of kids are pouring inot the Water Tower to go shopping I noticed a limo parked by the Hotel beside the mall. I went over to investigate and whaddayaknow. It's Bono. There were only a few other people but I shook his hand and he left me take his picture. he was in town for the Joshua Tree tour. I had the album and loved it. My faterh used to hide Easter eggs for us well into our 20s. Amongst the eggs (which were damn-near impossible to find), he'd hide presents. That year, it was Joshua Tree -- the album.
3)God bless Rob and his family and god bless that baby.
4) (shhhh) I'm 8 weeks into making another person.

[Jen.]

I was on a French trip in Montreal and the posters were EVERYWHERE; I paid my $7.99 Canadian and played that album anytime the group was on the bus, if nothing else to drown out the incessant chattering of Madame Chery. Sigh. Such memories...

[Jane]

Schizophrenic child, yep! One moment, she's cute as can be. Then, she's a terror and throwing things all over the house.

My husband's nickname for her is Sybil.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I was in high school when "The Joshua Tree" came out. I was too metal to listen to U2 at the time. I didn't appreciate this album until I was into my 30's.

[Kelly]

It's not just a Korean thing. It's a crazy parent I've paid to much money for music lessons thing. And yes, been there and will never do it either.

[Nancy]

I was a junior in high school when "The Joshua Tree" came out, and I also fell in love with them when the "War" album came out. My junior/senior year of high school was the best time in my life, and I have very fond memories when I hear anything from "The Joshua Tree."

[Issa]

I can make you feel old if you'd like....20 years ago today I was 6. Yup, first grade. Just hanging out learning about Columbus or some shit like that. Did that help? Oh you didn't want to feel old? Hmmm, can't help you. :)

That screaming in public is a pain in the ass. Mine rarely do it either, but when they do, they do it with style.

Nick and I talk about how to spend our lottery winnings too, even though we only buy one ticket so technically our chances are pretty much nothing. Did you know you can buy a 7 foot skyscraper made competly out of pencils? It's only $40,000. I don't know what I'd do with it, but if I'd won, I sure would have figured it out. Think I'm kidding? http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/sitelets/christmasbook/fantasy.jhtml?cid=OCBF7_NM-0W9K&gid=&/catalog_neimansholiday/holiday2006/custom/Redirect.aspx?rfx_spread=88&rfx_gid=5701634&rfx_pageid=87&rfx_catalog=1&rfx_passback=&rfx_base=http%3A//neimansholiday.richfx.com.edgesuite.net/catalog_neimansholiday/holiday2006/&rfx_catalog_base=http%3A//www.neimanmarcus.com/store/sitelets/christmasbook/christmasbook.jhtml%3F&rfx_res=low&rfx_omni=1&rfx_OmniPageName=p88-89&rfx_OmniCatalogName=holiday2006&rfx_OmniClientID=neimanmarcus&rfx_page=88&RFX_Res=low&RFX_PassBack=&rfx_catalogname=holiday2006&rfx_catalog=1&

[Issa]

Oops sorry, I guess I forgot how to make a link. My bad.

[Velma]

My daughter yells, "I can SEE you!" when we get to lovin' on each other, so no - you aren't alone.

The whole "increase in narcissism" thing is disturbing on so many levels. On the other hand, more than once, I have found myself shrugging off deserved compliments on one of my kids, so what's a parent to do? I've decided to praise them out the wazoo at home, explain that I'm their mother so I have to and that they shouldn't expect it from the rest of the world, and take them volunteering to offset them catching "Special Fever."

We had big plans for the lottery money, too.

I was a junior in high school when one of my friends discovered U2 in 1981, so by the time "Joshua Tree" came out, I'd already been converted to the Church of U2. I liked it, but my best friend G. was OBSESSED with it, and with Bono. We went to see them together on the last tour, both of us still lusting for Bono in our 22 year old hearts, which were amply cushioned by our 40 year old bodies...!

[Fiona]

We discussed that narcissism research in my Adult Development class the other day. It was frightening because if we think that today's college students are bad, just imagine how horrible the current children are going to be when they're in college. America's future, indeed. It's sad and scary.

[landismom]

Oh god, we just came home from talent show night at the Bee's school where the crazy mother ONCE AGAIN made her children do solo Irish step dances. What is with people?

[Jenn]

**20** years ago??!!

okay, I'm depressed...

[Spacecasie]

Hmm, I was born in 1981. I was probably watching Jem (shes truly outrageous, ya know). But whenever my husband and I make out even just a little, my son screams like he is being tortured. "NO DADDY, MY MOMMMMMY!!!" Its pretty hilarious, sometimes we make out just to get him spun up!

[Rach]

Unlike most of your readership, I wasn't quite born when the Joshua Tree came out. I'll be 20 next month.

Today is the tenth anniversary of Biggie Smalls getting shot. That must be why my neighbors are blasting "Mo Money Mo Problems"

And as far as today's college kids being narcissists, we, like, really aren't that bad? Because, I mean, like, we got really good grades in high school and like all our teachers loved us, so we're doing okay, right? I haven't encountered as many narcissists as I have complete airheads. I don't know how half of my peers even got in to college in the first place. I'm more worried for the people who will have to deal with kids who will be freshmen in five years.

[MammaLoves]

Had to finish my final college application essays (on a typewriter no less) before my mom would let me out the door the night I went to catch them on that tour--December 5 I believe.

Every song on that album is still incredible today!!

[MetroDude]

"Rock & Roll Stops The Traffic" - Bono, as written by Bono on a piece of art in Justin Herman Plaza, 11/11/87, San Francisco

Bailed on a midterm to take BART over to The City for the free show. Unreal.

Actually camped out for tickets to the first arena tour promoting Joshua Tree album - but those went on sale prior to the album release. Had to be a die hard fan for that. Later, found out that concert was on Yom Kippur. Chose Bono and The Edge over Lamb Shank and the Yafikomen. Parents weren't too stoked on that one.

http://www.u2setlists.com.

Unreal website. Lists ALL shows for last 30 years. Takes you back.

[talda]

schizophrenic kids. i ran into one on my way home. he spent the 28 minutes on the bart train crying about not wanting to play with his wiggles car, while half-assedly playing with it. then, as we get to our stop, he starts hugging and smiling and talking about how much he LOVES his wiggles car.

i was only 2 when that album came out. okay i'll stop talking now...

[BookGirl]

Twenty years?? Son of a... I was in seventh grade... One of my best friends had a "cool" older sister who'd introduced us to War. When Joshua Tree came out I was visiting my older cousins in L.A. I always wanted to impress them, and I think knowing about U2 and insisting on going to the record store to pick up the cassette (remember those?) was the one time I actually did. And I can totally remember driving back to their house with Where the Streets Have No Name cranked up. But I also remember feeling like I'd had the wind knocked out of me the first time I listened to With or Without You, because I was a hormonal pre-teen with crushes on way too many boys...

[Vampdaddy]

I do remember when "Joshua Tree" came out -- unbelievable. I remember having a dream where I was running through my high school with my best friend, trying to escape through a great deal of mist while "where the streets have no name" was playing like a chase seen soundtrack. In the end we escaped, and got away in a flying saucer.

Good times.

[misfithausfrau]

Ah yes, 20 years ago, I was following U2 the way my friends were following the Grateful Dead. I don't even remember how many shows I saw on that tour. I actually considered putting off college for a year. I was certain at the time that it would only take one meeting with Bono to know that he didn't love his wife and that he need me--ME! The album still holds up which is more than I can say for some of their newer stuff.

[Laura]

Whenever my husband hugs/kisses me, my little 2-year old says, "No, Daddy! That's my mommy!" Ha!

[OneCrazyMomma]

My mom let me cut school to go get the Joshua Tree album when it was released. Thanks mom!

[Henri]

U2 jumped the shark with Joshua Tree. Rattle and Hum was absolutely ridiculous. The Pogues...now theres an Irish Band.

But yeah, I'll admit it, I owned that beautiful gatefold LP and played it a shitload. But hell I was just a kid...I thought Some Kind of Wonderful was the greatest moment in cinema ever. The one thing I would keep though were those kick ass Nana's Monkey Boots. I'm still waiting for their return. Oh shit and remember creepers.

[Mike]

Twenty years? Holy hell!
Joshua Tree does bring it all back. So I have to ask, MD, were you at the Oakland Coliseum concert in mid-Nov. 1987 (maybe with some fellow weenies? sorry, couldn't resist) I was there and one of my dorm mates reached up and tried to grab the green, orange, and white balloon bunch Bono released (with much drama, mind you) from the stage. Oops!
Bono yelled at him for being "such a f*cking a-hole"... Later that night, this shamed dorm mate, an ardent fan who spent most of Fall quarter talking of "the big concert" , was heard wailing throughout the halls "but I feel like I've been pissed on by God...".
Hysterical. And the lesson here: don't f*ck with Bono!

And no,Bono, I still won't give you this person's name, so don't bother me with ANOTHER email. Twenty years for chrissake! Let it go already. Let it go!

[Amanda]

My daughter also doesn't allow my husband to kiss or hug me. "NOooo! Daddy! Don't touch Mmmyyy mommy!" She also points her little finger and shakes it at us.

[s@bd]

Sadie (our first, as you have no freaking clue probably know) used to scream and cry when C&I even so much as thought about hugging. Oscar (our second ... and, yes, we are aware we named our children after pets), on the other hand, squishes his way between the two of us and giggles.

Either way, ain't no 'quality time' happening with the young 'uns around.

[Holmes]

Regarding the Milhouse quote, our little guy will be fast asleep, and sometimes if my wife and I even think about getting affectionate, he'll wake up. His foreplay monitor seems to always be set to high. Maybe he's scared of having a sibling. "There can be only one!"

[FENICLE]

Our son doesn't like for my husband to hug on me...he says I am "his gurlfriend"!!!

[merseydotes]

I was finishing up sixth grade when The Joshua Tree came out, and to be honest, I was more worried about whether Aaron Schachter (not the NPR guy) would kiss me at my friend Nikki's birthday party.

When Basil and I make out, not only does Petunia want to break us up, but the dog wants to get in on the action, too. I'm always amazed that we paid so much money for this house and all four of us end up in the same ten square feet.

[Stacey]

As much as I love U2, I was only 1 when "Joshua Tree" came out.

Not too many memories. Sorry, MD!

[Nomadic One]

Hey, MD:

Re: parental affection...when Munchkin was 2-3 she would yell, "Mama! Dada! Mama! Dada!" anytime we even hugged. Now (4.5) she just comes over and grabs onto both of us (kinda like a group hug).

Re: U2. Twenty years, really? That sucks. We were living in a crappy apt. in Boston and BikeBoy (still my b/f at the time) was in grad school so I spent a great deal of time alone...listening to my 5 CDs...one of which was "Joshua Tree"! Love U2. They were the first group I saw in concert after the horrible events of 9/11/2001--very moving show (I cried when they played "Walk On" and scrolled the names of all who died because of the terrorist attacks).

[halfmama]

Wow... twenty years. I was OBSESSED with U2. My best friend took me to The Joshua Tree concert as a going-away gift before boarding school and it remains one of the best gifts I have ever received in my life.

Re: the fooling around... my son asked us last week if "Mommy was Daddy's sister" so if he catches us going at it... we might scar the poor kid. With a twin sister, who the hell knows what they would think after that.

[Anne Glamore]

My boys hate it when we start making "googly eyes." It's gross.

My oldest U2 memory is their video for Gloria on that boat. Bono was sexy in that "he's so ugly he's hot" way.

Finn recently found that poster and taped it up behind his drums. I'm officially old.

[Latia]

Where was I when the Joshua Tree came out in 83?

I was still an unfertilized egg in my mother's ovary.

Three more years until I made it out into the world....

But I made it out just in time for PURPLE RAIN!

[mangadezi-jr]

My wife and I were just talking about the Joshua Tree last week--I can't believe it's been twenty years. I too was a senior in h.s.--my 20th reunion is this fall--not possible!!
My friends and I were mostly into Hardcore Punk, but I had been a U2 fan since "Under a Blood Red Sky" came out in...83(?). We were just babies then ourselves, now look at us...

[SciFi Dad]

20 years? Fuck, thanks for that revelation, no really.

When JT came out I was not yet in high school, but aware enough of popular music to already own War, Under a Blood Red Sky and Unforgettable Fire... so I was pretty stoked when it came out, but I had to save up for a few months to afford to buy my own copy (had a dubbed cassette from my buddy's older brother in the interim though).

[KG]

20 years. Ahem.

I can't tell you where I was at the exact moment Joshua Tree came out, but I CAN tell you where I was exactly and what I was doing when I first heard U2 EVER:

I was in my room listening to the radio, some lazy Sunday morning. I had just stopped dancing to one of my favorite songs, "Freeze Frame" by the J. Geils Band, when I heard the announcer describe this new band out of Ireland called U2. The cut he played was "I Will Follow" off of the "Under A Blood Red Sky" album.

I froze. I said U2 over and over in my mind so I wouldn't forget the name. I found the album at the local record store, and drooled over it for months until I saved up enough money to buy it.

[Bridget]

How is possible that Sanjaya is still in the competition? Half of India must be voting for him! Heck, he's not even as good as his sister.

[Ka_Jun]

If MetroDad is right, then Joshua Tree was released on March 9, 1987. I was 11 years old and we were living in Richfield, MN. I remember the sun shining in, looking out my bedroom window listening to Joshua Tree on my boombox for hours on end. It was the second album I ever owned (on cassette, no less) after Bon Jovi's - Slippery When Wet. I remember wanting to go to the concert so bad (during Joshua Tree, U2 played Northrup Auditorium on the U of Minnesota campus) and being pissed that I couldn't. Man, I can't believe it's been 20 years since the Joshua Tree came out...seminal album. That same casette tape, played hundreds of times, finally passed out of my hands in 2000, when I gave it to David, my Peace Corps homestay brother in South Africa before we left for home in the US.

[Marcus]

I guess we're the same age, MD. I was a senior in high school when that album came out. Unlike others, I'd never even heard of U2 before. I immediately became a huge fan and although I've got all their CDs and have probably seen them in concert over 25 times, Joshua Tree remains my favorite.

[Waya]

I'm so guilty of the boasting of my kids thing, I mean which 2 year old girl can fart as loud and smellier than her mama?! Now, that's talent!!

As for the Joshua Tree, I was into "Wham" and top 40 trying to "fit in" with the crowds. Not much self-esteem going on back then. How things have changed as you get older and being a parent three times over, you don't give a sh!t what other people think of you any more.

[Kaz]

Dude - I can't believe that my friend and I went to see U2 in Buffalo during the Joshua Tree tour, and were appalled that we had to pay scalpers $25 for tickets! And they were really good seats, too!

[Beth]

Captain Stinky used to have tantrums. When he was completely ignored, and instead of responding, I stepped OVER him and kept walking, he snapped out of it.

Thankfully? They do grow out of that stage permanently. It's just that they're grown and ready to move out when they do.

[petitegourmand]

It's been 20 years already?!
I too was in my senior year of high-school when that album came out.
Now, I just hope I can replace "I'm a barbie girl...in a barbie world" in my head for "the streets have no name.."

[Nina]

I was FIVE when The Joshua Tree was released. Ha!

But it totally does bring back memories for me...it was the soundtrack of my childhood. I know all the songs by heart. My parents loved U2 and along with REM, Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, and Pink Floyd to name a few. I can still remember lip synching in the living room with my mom to "With or WIthout You". It brings back a lot of sweet memories, but probably very different than yours! =)