Metropolitan Diary

Setting: A restaurant in downtown Manhattan.

Dramatis Personae: Twelve parents, all with children under the age of 3. 

As the delirium of a rare child-free evening is coupled with copious amounts of beer and sake, one of the aforementioned diners subconsciously begins humming the song "Elmo's World" underneath his breath.  Soon, the entire table is loudly singing along like a bunch of inebriated Christmas carolers.  Shortly thereafter, the group is raucously singing the theme song to "Wonder Pets."  John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are sitting nearby and abruptly leave, apparently disgusted by the lack of hipness being displayed at the adjoining table. 

We’re not too big
And we’re not too strong
But when we work together
We’ve got the right stuff

What's gonna work?
Teamwork!

For our next gathering, we plan on singing the theme song to "Bear in the Big Blue House" and "Dora the Explorer."  If things get really crazy, we might even do the dance-floor version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes (Knees & Toes!)

Hipster parents, indeed!

On a side note...remember when you were younger and you couldn't get that stupid song out of your head?  Maybe it was Hansen's "MmmBop" or "Macarena?"  Hell, I remember one time where I almost started hitting my head with a fucking hammer because I couldn't get "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooorrrrllld!" out of my head.  Anyway, is it me or are those annoying songs that fill your head now all mostly kid's songs? 

Because right now, the only music in my head is that duet by Bert & Ernie, "What's the Name of That Song?"  All day long, I'm singing, "La di da di da, La di da di da." 

Send help!

Comments

[Holmes]

Argh! I was just reading a post on another blog that quoted that god-awful Whitney Houston "I believe the children are our future" song, and now that's what's stuck in my head. I'd rather have Raffi.

[elsu]

Ah, the days of kiddie songs. I have 6 siblings, so there was never a time when we didn't have some Sesame Street thing going on in the house. A nice, calm SS video is "Don't Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art." And you WON'T hate the songs, I promise.

Now I've got my family's version of "Surfin' Safari" in my head: "Let's go potty now / Everybody's learning how / Come on and go potty with meeeeeeee / Come on and go potty with (me in the potty) and (you in the potty) / (Pee in the potty) and (poo in the potty)...

GROSS. My family sucks.

[Jillian]

Great. Now, I've got that Barbie song stuck in my head! Damn you, MD! :)

[Laura]

Oh man!! I can sooooo relate for recently I have been haunted -day and night - by various Blues Clues ditties!! Here's the mail; it never fails; it makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail MAIL!!

[Jonathon]

More proof that John Meyer is lame. haHA!

[Celeste]

For us it's Stanley...and the infamous "Iiiiit's ttttthe....GreatBigBookOfEverything, with everything inside, see the world around us, this book's a perfect guide!"

I always wondered why the hell didn't Stanley or his fish just grow up and Google it...and now I (as of this week, matter of fact) they are looking things up on the computer. So I should just stop my complaining about the Luddite cartoon already. The new song isn't quite as ear-wormy, thank goodness.

Luckily that godforsaken "Doodlebops" theme song has never caught on around here.

DH likes to get impromptu chants going to the tune of Madagascar's "I Like to Move It, Move It". I have to admit I actually find this charming.

[Deanna]

They're repeating Sesame Street episodes again... Gina just adopted her baby... Ane walks around the house singing the saccharine "I'm Your Mommy Now" ditty... I have the desire to shove an icepick through my ears.

Fortunately, Tad doesn't sing yet - he just dances, which is a hilarious sight to behold. He bounces up and down by bending his knees and shakes his tiny padded booty. Always brings a smile to my face.

[Pamela]

I've been quoting the movie "Cars" for the past two days after a marathon viewing over the weekend with my two boys.

Built like a Cadillac, stings like a Beemer!

[Ali]

GASP! i caught a spelling error!
Hanson is spelled with an 'o.' be still my 11 year old heart.

[JJ Daddy-O]

I can't believe nobody has mentioned the Bob the Builder theme song. Is that show just too passe? Damn hipster kids and their parents.

Scoop, Muck and Dizzy, and Rolly too,
Lofty and Wendy join the crew,
Bob and the gang have so much fun,
working together to get the job done.
Bob the Builder,
Can we fix it?
Bob the Builder
Yes we can!

(Chorus must be shouted at top of lungs)

[talda]

so this is what my future present looks like. i'm afraid. very afraid.

great stories! thanks for sharing.

[MS]

whenever you have a song stuck in your head, you can remove it with the magical power of "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting".

It's guaranteed to work. Just sticky enough to dislodge the old song, but not sticky enough to stick forever.

I'm constantly annoying my husband to tears with my repetitive singing, and this works like a charm, every time.

[Tisha]

No help here. I've got "Choo choo soooooul, wiiiith GENEVIEVE" stuck in my head. Sigh. The only good thing about those songs is that DD really grooves to those songs.

[Henitsirk]

The worst part is that since we don't listen to much recorded music, all of our kids' torturing is OUR OWN FAULT!

Right now they're obsessed with the Kookaburra song, as in "laugh, Kookaburra laugh, Kookaburra gay your life must be!" Charming.

[jason b.]

Hey MD---I found this awesome list of the world's most annoying songs. Check them out.

http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1864

So many one-hit wonders. And a lot of kids' songs too!

[Emily]

Hey next time can you raise a glass and do a round of Itsy bitsy spider for me"?

[jgm]

I blogged about this recently too, in german it is the "earworm". I've heard (and had success with) humming the tune of "girl from ipanema" outloud to cast out the toddler earworms that plague the modern parent.

of course, then the girl from ipanema takes residence if you aren't careful.

my brain has a weakness for No by TMBG.

Good luck expelling the earworms, MD!

[Lucy]

"What's gonna work?" "TEEEEEAAMMMMWOOOORK!!!"

Good grief. With twin girls living under my roof, that's all I hear all day!

[kittenpie]

This week it's Over In The Meadow - because I'm doing the ocean version for preschool time. I could kick myself and rip out my own vocal chords.

[p-man]

I'll tell you what's in my head now, dammit, it's "la di la di da..." you jerk! You 'd better not mess around with Slim, MD. You are playing with the queen of hearts. Yeah. Like that.

[L.A. Daddy]

I think that Ernie actually has the best tuneage on Sesame Street. He's got "Do De Rubber Duck!", "Honker Duckie Dinger Jamboree", "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon", "Rubber Duckie", "But I like You", and 18 other great classic!

And I can't get 'em outta my head...

[JJ Daddy-O]

One song guarenteed to drive all other songs from your head is The Banana Splits theme song. If you were born in the 60's, that is.
I will probably be pushing my walker around the old folks home when I'm 80 humming that tune under my breath, after all other information has left my brain. If I'm lucky, I'll alternate with the H.R. Pufnstuf theme song.

[LeeMarvin]

The song that just absolutely sticks in my head from MY childhood is..."Flintsones, meet the Flintstones, they're a modern stone-age family. From the town of Bedrock...", you get the idea.
That, and "Go, Speed Racer, Go, Speed Racer..."

[Kimmers]

argh! Reading the comments is a form of torture -- now I have ALL those songs stuck in my head!

But the one currently haunting me is from the Muppets CD. I think it's called Simon Smith (and his amazing dancing bear). The melody has welded itself to my cranium.

[Nina]

I hate you. The Barbie song is going to be stuck in my head now FOREVER!!! argh!

On another note, I started singing the Barney song (double ARGH!) in the shower this morning. It's all downhill from here.

[panthergirl]

OH, thanks a lot MD.

And to get back at you, how about "This is the song that never ends... oh it goes on and on my friends...."

[Beth]

Did I miss a comment or did nobody even mention the BARNEY song? That song kills me.

[themikestand]

Hmm...yesterday I had one line running through my head all day, and I could not for the life of me figure out what the song was. A moment of clarity descended upon me in a post-urination blissful state, when I realised it was something from Sharon, Lois & Bram.

[Jason Crabtree]

I know the feeling. Actually, more often than not, I have one of my daughter's own original tunes stuck in my head. Those are much better, given the source. :-)

[Lea]

My 2.5-year-old's preschool-aged friends are into watching "Land of the Lost" episodes on their iPod. Of course, Baby A thinks it's the coolest thing going.

And, of course, it is. Remember how much that show rocked?

Only problem is she keeps going, "Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a roooo.... Mommy, how does that song go?"

Ha! Now it's in your head! "Marshall, Will, and Holly / On a routine expedition / Met the greatest earthquake ever known!"

- QSMama

[dutch from sweet juniper]

I think jessica simpson got up and left because she is SO over Dora the Explorer now and has moved on to the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

[bmc]

ew, i hate that john mayer is doing it with jessica - almost as much ad i hate to see josh duhamel with that nasty fergie.

we're off tv progrmming and watching cars on an interminable loop. i wake up to pee in the missle of the night and hear
'life is highway" in my head.

you could be the first to put out a disc of karaoke kis' show theme songs.

[HoorayForSaturday]

I don't mind the kids music at all. The Backyardigans is always a favorite at our house and the I really dig it. I know, I'm a geek.
We also listen to lots of other music as well in our house. The will label me hipster maybe here, but some of the favorite songs right now are "Honky Tonk Hiccups" by Neko Case and "La La Love You" by The Pixies. Great sing-a-longs.

[Izzy]

I walk around with ALL those songs in my head. After six years and two kids, I've stopped fighting it.

Resistance is futile ;)

[Mom101]

Jessica Simpson only wishes that one of her songs were as memorable and hummable as any of those. In fact, I can't name a one.

[Shannon Best]

My twins have this stand up piano/play thing that plays music. I find myself singing

"Bluuuuuuue, yellllllooooooooow,
red!,
greeeeen.

And the car dashboard toy.
Hold on tighhhhhhht! I'm outta gas!

are you drivvinnng,
are you drivvvving
on the road
On the road?

And Elmo's World. Dont get me started.

[Tracey]

The last song I made up for my 8 month old daughter began "cram it up your cramhole" and was to the tune of "bringing home a baby bumblebee". I worry about the effects that my inappropriate yet therapeutic songs will have on her.

[Samantha]

umm.....so does she have big ears like jessica simpson..NO OFFENCE

ummm.....yeah i think it might have a bad influence on her becuz that song is a horrible and from the sense of atttitude no it wont influence her but by composing a song or if she wants to have an interest in music she'll have a very bad sense of music...that i can guarentee

[Jade Simpson]

LOL

[standy]

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[Chassidy]

Just cause it's smiple doesn't mean it's not super helpful.

[Bosskeppel]

DougWow sad to hear but thanks for the great info. Honestly, that disc blew me away I wrote a reivew of it on amazon actually. My feeling of the sound on that album is that it would be very hard for anyone to date' it, as in figure out when it was recorded and released. It sounds modern but classic simultaneously, possibly because Chuck wrote it over a long period of time, but the engineering is definitely well done. As far as the album as a whole, I challenge anyone to name for me another artist who released their first album in 15 years (since the 2nd Cement album) and their first solo album around age 50 with writing and playing that good, entertaining from front to back. I have all the FNM members' side projects, alot counting all of Patton's and Trey's, I even have Jim's stuff for me Will Rap Over Hard Rock For Food is the best. With those songs, the team probably could have gone alot of different ways with each song's sound and mix for the finished product that was put out you can tell alot of love was put into it. I don't have the disc booklet to name him directly, but definitely tell the engineer if you see him that I appreciate his work, that album made my decade. And geez, if you can pass anything on to Chuck, IY was my first exposure to this awesome band and is still my favorite album of theirs, and his appearance at the Warfield is my #1 favorite tour highlight. Thank you Chuck for making music again!

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