Metropolitan Diary

Setting: A restaurant in downtown Manhattan.

Dramatis Personae: Twelve parents, all with children under the age of 3. 

As the delirium of a rare child-free evening is coupled with copious amounts of beer and sake, one of the aforementioned diners subconsciously begins humming the song "Elmo's World" underneath his breath.  Soon, the entire table is loudly singing along like a bunch of inebriated Christmas carolers.  Shortly thereafter, the group is raucously singing the theme song to "Wonder Pets."  John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are sitting nearby and abruptly leave, apparently disgusted by the lack of hipness being displayed at the adjoining table. 

We’re not too big
And we’re not too strong
But when we work together
We’ve got the right stuff

What's gonna work?
Teamwork!

For our next gathering, we plan on singing the theme song to "Bear in the Big Blue House" and "Dora the Explorer."  If things get really crazy, we might even do the dance-floor version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes (Knees & Toes!)

Hipster parents, indeed!

On a side note...remember when you were younger and you couldn't get that stupid song out of your head?  Maybe it was Hansen's "MmmBop" or "Macarena?"  Hell, I remember one time where I almost started hitting my head with a fucking hammer because I couldn't get "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooorrrrllld!" out of my head.  Anyway, is it me or are those annoying songs that fill your head now all mostly kid's songs? 

Because right now, the only music in my head is that duet by Bert & Ernie, "What's the Name of That Song?"  All day long, I'm singing, "La di da di da, La di da di da." 

Send help!

Comments

[Velma]

This very morning, on our way to school, my daughter confessed that she's had "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" in her head since Friday, and before I could stop her, she...she...SANG.

And what part of that sticks, huh? I'll tell you - FIGGY PUDDING! Hah! I dare you to get that out of your head now!

FIGGY PUDDING FIGGY PUDDING!

[whit]

John Mayer probably wanted to get his guitar, but Jessica is a freaking snob.

Glad you guys had a good time.

[Jessica]

A child-free evening? What's that?

[Xdm]

HELLOOOOO????

We're not too big
and we're not too TOUGH
but when we work together
we've got the right STUFF.

*sigh*

xoxo

[Geoffrey]

I'm with you, MD. I often get the kids' songs stuck in my head. For weeks, every time I got in my car, I'd be singing, "The Wheels on the Bus." Right now, I can't escape that annoying James Blunt song "You're Beautiful." I swear they have that thing on a loop at Starbucks.

[Mr. Big Dubya]

I wrote a while back about the damn Higglytown Heroes song - as much as I used to like them, I really want to kill They Might Be Giants - I mean a really slow, painful death. Actually, maybe we'll fight to the pain.

Other songs:
Lights, Camera, Action
Fruit Salad
Agapame Tin Athena

F'in Wiggles

[Molly Chase]

Blues Clues theme, for days at a time.

[halfmama]

Oh Lord I have that freakin' Wonder Pets song in my head ALL DAY. All day. It's better than "Journey to Ernie" though. My daughter was starting to laugh (i.e. spit) like Ernie.

Sounds like a rockin' time though.

[Kelly]

I want to hurt the Imagination Movers from Disney Channel. Hurt BAD. Higglytown Hero's theme song is next on the hit list. (thankfully I still love TMBG). Strangely enough, I really like "What's the name of that song?"

[JJ Daddy Baby Momma]

Thumbkin.

As in, "Where is".

Make it stop.

[kim]

Wonder Pets, 24/7.
The baby panda... is stuck in a tree... who will save her? Apparently ME - like 37 times a week. *sigh*

And... The Little Einsteins.
And... Handy Manny.
And... The Imagination Movers' with "I Want My Mommy."

I think I need to get out more...

[Papa Bradstein]

What? No Wheels on the Bus? You could have paired up on the dance floor--one partner moving the other's arms--"round and round!"

The worst for us is when the worlds collide. I can't remember how we got started on this, because I've tried to block it out since I wrote about it, but 3B loves "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

Who? Who? Who? Who am I, freakin' Woodsy Owl?

*sigh*

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Yeah, not too tough.

You really WERE drunk.

[Mandy]

Hi MD! Just wondering how the V-Day gifts went over with BossLady? What knitterly gifties did you end up choosing?

[merseydotes]

The Goodbye Song from Bear in the Big Blue House. My husband and I do duets a la Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo in Vacation. I do a pretty sweet Luna.

[NG]

La la la la lamppost.
La la la la linoleum....

Kill me now.

[Bradley]

I still find it amazing that John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson. While I'm not a huge fan of his music, he always struck me as a very cerebral and intelligent guy. And now he's with Miss Chicken of the Sea?

[leora]

I LOVE this post, MD. Metropolitan Diary is one of my guilty pleasures. I hate the fact that I love it so much and it's the first thing I read on Monday mornings. It makes me feel like an old lady!

Wait until your kids get older and they start singing every stupid pop song around. My 12 year old sings Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" 24/7. I can't get it out of my head now. Help!

[sisco]

Do you all go to the music classes with your little ones? Where they give you two copies of the cd containing the WONDERFUL music you get to sing with your child at music class each week? In the northwest they call it music together. And I do, seriously, want to kill them.

On a sesame street note, my spouse can't get the freaking p is my favorite letter song out of his head for like a week now. It's awesome.

[Rachel E.]

Oh my gosh. The worst was Count Dracula's "Batty-Batty-Bat" song. I never made it to the fast forward button on the clicker quick enough and it tooks DAYS to get that damn song out of my head. Crap...it's starting again just thinking about it...

[Angie in Texas]

a couple of summers ago after a kid outing i couldn't get my friend's son's version of muffin man out of my mind:

"do you know the muffin man,
the muffin man?
the muffin man.
do you know the muffin man,
who lives on PARTY-LAKE?"

hee hee . . .

[Angie in Texas]

and i *LOVE* to wake my kids up with a karaoke version of "i like to move it" from madagascar except i change the words to "i like to school it" . . . singing it out loud as LOUDLY as i can belt it with the iPod on is really the best way.

(nothing like torturing the miniatures out of bed . . . makes me soOoOo happy!).

[Billy Mac]

What a fantastic blog! Would you consider a critique. I think some crossover bloggers would really enjoy this. I post blog reviews on blogger and think yours is great.

[creative-type dad]

I always get that Sesame Strett song:
"1,2,3,4,5....6,7,8,9,10..ELEVEN-TWELVE" stuck in my head. Even before I had a kid.

Now I've added The Wiggles "Hot Potato" to the list...

And the Doodlebops theme song.

((I need a drink to make all the voices go away))

[Mama Nabi]

Sigh... yes, "Hot Potato" song, yes, "Elmo's Song", yes, "Maisy Mouse" theme song... yes, "Blues Clues" theme song and other songs in between...
Sorry, can't help you here... can YOU help ME??

[JJ Daddy Baby Momma]

Now, thanks to Greg, it is:

Mah Na Mah Na.

(deep dee ti dee dee)

Must. Have. Drink.

[LeeAnn]

"It's a Small World After All"...thank you Disney for creating all of my musical madness.

[Mrs. Chicky]

Sorry, no help here. I've had "Journey to Ernie" stuck in my head for months.

[LeeMarvin]

Hey, MD.

Sound like you had a slammin' evening.

Jessica & John; well opposites DO attract, right? Like magnets, there's always a part of the magnet that repels the the part. That will come soon enough.

My kids are older, but they all loved the Cartoon Network theme. My wife and I would sing it with them.

What fun times they were!

[Procrastamom]

Where, oh where, oh where is shadow?

Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!!!

[KG]

So I'm not the only one? If my family had been there, we SOOOOO would have joined you. Good for you for singing in public — a great joy of life. :)

It is a classroom-pet opera around here most days. I feel proud that music is so important to us that we sing and listen to it quite often.

Everything from Laurie Berkner to the Wiggles to Dan Zanes plays in my head. When I listen to my own iTunes after the Pumpkin's in bed, it's a shock to my system. Though our little guy really does like Bowie, Blondie and "Girl from Ipanema" by Jobim.

Ah, the two worlds we parents straddle! LOVE IT!

[Spacecasie]

Here come the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail......

WE JUST GOT A LETTER, WE JUST GOT A LEEEETER, BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!

I was just wondering what has becoming of me earlier today. Its always good to know I am not alone.

[Her Bad Mother]

Xdm beat me to it - it's "TOUGH", not "STRONG."

And, blast you, MD, for putting that damnable, execrable song back in my head.

[honglien123]

I think the only cure for this is to play a song you love over and over again and even then, you might need a few drinks.

PS I love Ming Ming, although did they really need to give her a lisp?

[Fiona]

Ahem, the spelling is HansOn. Thank you.

Fiona (<--proud to the point of militant Hanson fan)

P.S. You guys rock! "Thaaaaat's El-mo's Woooooooorrrrlllllddddddd!!"

[cam c.]

"Baby Beluga" and "Elmo's World" compete in my head like some kind of screwed up kiddie music video channel showdown...

[susie]

Just reading the songs listed in your comments is going to keep me up tonight. The Higglytown Heroes theme and Imagination Movers "I Want My Mommy" could be used to make prisoners of war talk.

[Kabohami]

This is my first comment. Nice to meet you.

I clicked on your link to Baby Got Book a few days ago and since then I have had "NIV with a ribbon bookmark" playing in my head. Over. and Over. and Over.

But other than that I have really enjoyed your blog. Thanks!

[Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad]

I opened these comments knowing what to expect but I did it anyway. And now I'm singing Higglytown Heroes. But I've a got a personal fix for this...whenever a song is stuck in my head I replace it with another repetitive song that I don't mind so much...for me it's Girl from Ipanema.

[BR]

What's even worse is when I don't even know the lyrics to the infernal song in your head.

Can you feel the love tonight, humina hum hum hum? Humina hum hum wide-eyed wanderer humina hum hum hum...

[samantha jo campen]

I LOVE The Wonder Pets. And Ming-Ming is my favorite because of the speech impediment.

Now I've got that song in my head!

[Amy]

Ralph's World "Mighty Worm" is the worst earworm I've experienced to date.

FYI- Before anyone applies to work at Gymboree (side note- the discount is awesome)be aware that you will be listening to all the glorious songs you all have mentioned,for the extent of your shift. I thought I was escaping Elmo's fucking voice by returning to work. Sadly, I was mistaken.

[Nomadic One]

Oh, yeah...how 'bout "M-O-M-M-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E" (Ralph's World). I could sure use some now.

Thank goodness dd also is loving "Ziggy Stardust," "Fat Lip," "Heart Full of Black," and "Hey You!" (thanks to BikeBoy and I playing Guitar Hero on PS2!!). Of course, we change the lyrics in Hey You where it says "why do you wanna die?" to "why do you wanna hug"...too disturbing for a 4yo!

Sounds like a fun night, though...especially after Jessica departed.

[Jen3 @ amazing trips]

I went out to dinner the other night with a few friends, and we marveled that the 4 of us, had 14 children, all under the age of 3. Not a single one of these children are successfully potty trained.

Which is why the song that WE were all singing went something like this:

Tinkle, Tinkle, little pee, in the potty you will be.
Poopy, Poopy stinky-O, in the Potty you will go!!

[Superha]

I'd rather have "I'm a Barbie girl" in my head right now than frickin' DORA! The Hubby and I have heard all the songs on the two Dora CD's that we own about fifteen hundred times too many. Help, indeed!

[David]

So does Jessica Simpson really have big ears? That's what I want to know. Or have I been misinformed?
My eldest son is currently driving me mad with Queen's "We Are the Champions" which is a hard one to rid your head of. And it's all my fault as I gave it to him, albeit with the words: this is how much I love you - I'm giving you the song that I hate most in the world but as you like it, it's now yours (but close your bedroom door when you're playing it).

[sweatpantsmom]

As the kids get older, the songs change but the mind-numbing repetition remains. What is it about kids and their need to hear the same song OVER AND OVER?

Lately around here it's been 'White & Nerdy' by Weird Al (they roll their eyes at the original 'Ridin' by Chamillionaire.) Oh, and Kira just learned to play Iron Man by Black Sabbath on the guitar, so we hear that ALL DAY LONG.

[Ka_Jun]

On heavy rotation at my place currently:

Old MacDonald
Row Row Row Your Boat
Bingo (that fucking song about a dog)

[Shannan]

Everyone needs to watch "Jack's Big Music Show" on Noggin. It has some really great kids music that doesn't grate on your last nerve and it features a diversity of music styles which will get your little one dancing! I am an adult Laurie Berkner fan!

[Julia]

If my daughter demands that I sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" one more time, I might actually lose my mind. I think I sang it 20 times yesterday!