What is my label when I exit boom status? (A MetroDad Contest)

In their infinite wisdom, the good folks over at alt-parenting site Babble have decided to give me my own blog.   

According to their press release, Babble is:

"a revolution in parenting magazines: a publication that talks to urban parents not just as caregivers, but as fun, smart, intellectually curious people. It will apply Nerve’s tradition of irreverent honesty to the experience of parenting without the infantilizing, hyper-judgmental tone or acquisitive baby-as-accessory bent of so much of today's parenting fare."

I don't know how much help I'll be in fomenting the revolution.  Unless the uprising is waged with loofahs, bottles of scotch, and witty banter, I'm generally not much of a "revolutionary" kind of guy. 

However, I am genuinely glad that Babble approached me with this opportunity.  I subscribe to every parenting magazine available and I've yet to find one that really speaks to ME.  Most of them seem to be written solely for women and tend to promote this weird cookie-cutter cult of stay-at-home domesticity.  Others place far too much emphasis on shopping and product placement.  And very few really ever touch on anything personal or substantive.

But their biggest crime?  None of them are funny!

Forget all the crap regarding hipster parents, urban mamas, AlternaDads, or Grups.  At the end of the day, Babble is just a smart, edgy parenting magazine with a wicked sense of humor about being a parent.  Because as any caring parent who has been barfed on at 4:00 am knows, parenting is very often an existential exercise in hilarity.

Anyway, I'm both extremely honored and humbled to join their irreverent collection of great writers (which include everyone from A.M. Homes to Jennifer Baumgardner to Walter Kirn.)  REAL writers whom I've had the pleasure of reading over the years. 

Current blogs over at Babble presently include Steve Almond's "Baby Daddy,"  Barbara Rushkoff's "A Girl Grows in Brooklyn," and Rebecca Woolf's "Straight From the Bottle."

Me?  I've got no title for my new blog.  And I've got a terrible case of brain flatulence these days.  I've been thinking of a title for weeks and absolutely NOTHING is coming to my mind.  So that's where YOU guys come in.   

Since most of you know me pretty well, I figured you could help me come up with a witty title for my new Babble blog.  So I've decided to have a little contest.  Help me come up with a name for my new blog: a name, label, or catchphrase that I'll take over with me to Babble. 

To increase the incentive and get your creative juices flowing, I've got some great prizes!  Here's what the grand-prize winner will get:

(1) The latest high-end Digital Photo Frame from Phillips.  So new that it's not even available in stores yet.  These things rock the house.  Not only is the picture quality stunning, it's clear that a lot of thought went into the beautifully streamlined design.  They're absolutely gorgeous and would look great anywhere.

.

.

(2) An advance DVD of "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," the brilliant film starring Sacha Baron Cohen.  With classic lines such as "My moustache still tastes of your testes!" and "What's up with you, Vanilla Face?," this film has already achieved cult status. 

.

(3) Your choice of one of my favorite NYC foods that I will personally vacuum-seal with love and send to you.  Winner will select from one of the following:  hot dogs from Gray's Papaya, bagels from H & H, pastrami from Katz's Deli, or bacon from Peter Luger's Steakhouse. 

The contest will close on Friday, February 23 at midnight.  Then, BossLady and I will decide which one we like best and we'll announce the winner.

Ready, set, go!

p.s. Special prize to the first person who correctly guesses the origin of this post's title.  No googling!

 

Comments

[grant]

sorry....no good blog titles come to mind, but isn't the title from a tribe called quest song?

[Angela]

What is a poet? all balls no cock! ha....TCQ

still thinking about the title....

[Charlie]

What to the what to the what to the WHAT, Q-tip!!!

[MetroDad]

Hmm...pretty close. Grant did get the reference but Angela got the actual song. I'll call it a tie. E-mail me your addresses in private so I can send you your prizes. I'm impressed.

[hello insomnia]

Ack! I'm too late with the TCQ answer! Now I will have to burn my brain for a fitting title.

[Charlie]

Aw, Angela beat me!

[Kemp]

I know the name of this post comes from A Tribe Called Quests song "What"

Give me more time for the title game thought

[Brian]

Title ideas: "Big Pimping" or "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag!"

[leslie]

What's Alex Haley if it doesn't have roots?
What's a weekend if you ain't knockin boots? What's a black nation, without black unity? What is a child who doesn't know pubery?

I LOVE THAT SONG! Haven't heard it in ages. I'm going to have to buy it on itunes now. See you! Be back with title ideas later.

[navi]

dammit, I want that photo frame!

sadly I, myself, am creatively challenged...

metroBabble???

[JGS]

Down With The Bad Dad (or Baaaad Dad)

The Designated Daddy (The DD is okay - the DH not so much)

MetroParenting: A Daddy Guide (maybe you should use that for your book)

FatherCentric

Daddying in NYC

If I think of any others, I will let you know

[oncRN]

Who's your Metrodaddy?

(i knew i could kiss the picture frame goodbye if i used ur instead of your)

[planet3rry]

"Superman but without a telephone booth"

"Dad vs. Rest of the World"

"How things change when you become a dad"

"What my dad didn't tell me"

Altered from one of your own post titles:
"My theory of relativity: Einstein knew nothing"

I'll try to think of more... I have to win some authentic New York Vacuumed Sealed Hot dogs. I christened hot dogs as one of my own personal food groups, right after Cadbury mini-eggs and frozen burritos.

[leora]

How about "Downtown Daddy"?

[MyKianaKeiki]

Chaos Theory: Ramblings of (a) MetroDad

there's only one of you, so "a" doesn't really apply, but I like the way it sounds in my head. "The" sounded a little pretentious.

Congrats on your own blog at Babble. I love reading Metrodad and sing your praises to all my friends.

[Molly Chase]

How about "From Here To Paternity?"

[Kelly]

I haven't any ideas for a title as I couldn't even come up with anything too original for my own. But I just wanted to say congrats. I'm looking forward to reading your new stuff!

[Roger]

These are my submissions:

Wisdom of "Abojee"

Life, Love, and the Peanut Chronicles

Boss Lady, Peanut and me all make a great family.

Dads of the world Unite!

Being a Dad means living life to the fullest.

Father doesn't always know best, but damn he sure tries hard.

Metrodad says...

[Denver Dad]

I was always more of a De La Soul man, myself.

Congrats on the new blog, MD!

How about riffing off the "MD" initials and do something like, "MetroDad: Earning His Doctorate in Daddy?"

[Jenny]

How about "Alt-Daddy"?

[Melissa]

I'll have to think about it. My question is, do you want "MetroDad" to be in the title or not?

[meg]

Frank. Simple and to the point.

[Lindsay]

If it's any consolation, I'm a working mom and NONE of those parenting magazines speak to me either!

Congrats on the Babble gig. I haven't quite decided what to make of it but I'm glad you're going over there.

[taya]

Long time reader, first time commenting. Thanks for my daily laughs!
How about "Breeder's Blog"?

[JG]

I just have to be there.

Dadzilla

Fishing in the dark

growing up Dad

[planet3rry]

if you were a Windows guy, going off of Jenny's idea, it could be

Control-Alt-Daddy

[Rachel]

No name ideas, but congratulations! I look forward to reading.

[candace]

"Secret Asian Dad"

That's all I got.

[LOD]

Peanut Sauce.

[Desiree]

Okay, I'll be back with more later but I had to share this one real quick:

Metrodad II: The blogeninng

[Kristi]

Daddy Said So

You'll Get Nothing and Like It

Whatever the title, the content is sure to be great! Congrats!

[margalit]

Dad Gone Bad

The MetroLine

Le Metro

Scotch and Kimchee

Papa's Got a Brand New Blog

[candace]

"Secret Asian Dad"

[Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom]

I'm not all that creative...I wish I could help...Good luck and congrats on your new blog...I'll be sure to be a regular reader!

[Gayle]

I like "Life, Love, and the Peanut Chronicles" that Roger suggested.

[rwc]

Batter up! (Mets fans, there's not reasoning with them)
Peanut's (tell the Schultz estate's flying monkeys [aka IP lawyers] it is about your daughter and an implied possesive)
Scotch & Pull-ups
MBP makes family

[jen]

congrats!

Adventures of BBQ Dad
Peanut and Friends
Peanut and Dad and diapers, oh my!

[Jonathon]

i vote for "loofahs, bottles of scotch, and witty banter"

but then, you already thought of that (kind of), so i think that puts me out of the running.

congrats man! can't wait to read the new babble blog. you guys rock.

[Unstrung Harpy]

If the wicked sense of humor is what sets you apart, how about "Father Knows Jest"?

[Mike]

Hey MD,

How about:

"Dad-libbing"
with Pierre Kim.

NYC father making it up (and blogging about it) as he goes along the road of parenthood. Urbane, profane, and off the chain.

or maybe
"From the Peanut Gallery" with Pierre Kim

or
"Daddendum"

or even
"MetroDaddendum"

That's all I got right now. Congratulations on the new column, will definitely read. Cheers

[samantha Jo Campen]

I liked one of your titles earlier:

My Kid Farted On Your Honor Student.

or:

The Peanut's Wet Willy

Other than that, I got nuthin'. Congrats and good luck though!

[LeeMarvin]

MD,
Congrats on the Babble deal.
Does this mean that we'll have yet one more place to look for your witty banter?

Title (not great, but WTF, here goes):
Metrorean - An Asian-American Perspective To Urban Parenting

[OTRgirl]

Congrats! If the other writers are your caliber it will be an amazing read.

I'm in a Friday afternoon postprandial state, so I don't have anything out of the ballpark:

"Straight with Chaser"
"Metrolicious"
"Dry-aged and upstaged"

[pnuts mama]

i like so many of the titles already mentioned! mine feel kinda weak in comparison but here goes:

PKNY: the peanut collection

MetroDad: on the rocks (or neat, however you drink your scotch)
and your tagline could be: because I'm asian and can drink your ass under the table

i wish i felt more creative! congrats!

[honglien123]

Congratulations on the Babble blog!

In terms of the contest, lessee (since I really AM craving a hotdog):

-Peanutty
-Just Babble Baby!
-My Baby Daddy
-MetroDad's Primary Cure

As usually, I got nuthin'

[honglien123]

Oops, My Baby Daddy is pretty much taken. My bad.

[EE]

Daddylicious
Who's Your Daddy??

[Wayne]

Egad! Bad Dad!

(But that's lifted from a Calvin & Hobbes strip. Plus, I don't think it suits you?)

[mammaloves]

I'm kind of partial to
From Here to Paternity though it does sound like an impending lawsuit, so let me give it a whirl...

Please Pass the Scotch

Vacuum-sealed for Freshness

Carpe Dadem

So I Was Thinking While I Was on the Toilet...

That's it. Weak I know. I just felt I had to contribute.

[nonlineargirl]

tagline idea: Word to Your Mother.