The Smell of Fear

Like many of my fellow citizens, I love living in Manhattan.  However, ever since 9/11, there's been an unspoken fear in all of us that we continue to remain a target for all those who abhor and detest that which our nation stands for. 

Right now, that unspoken fear is being realized again. 

It's 9:30 am and I'm at my office in midtown Manhattan.  An unusually toxic gas smell is pervading the entire city.  People from the financial district to Harlem to Jersey City are all reporting a strange natural gas odor.  NYPD sirens are blaring as the police, fire marshalls, the Coast Guard, and ConEd all speed around the city and try to locate the source.  Macy's has been evacuated.  Train services have been suspended.  Some office buildings are being evacuated.  And the Mayor just went on the air announcing that the city has no idea where the smell is coming from.  Great!

I'm fairly sure that this will turn out to be an innocuous gas leak from somewhere.  And while I'm generally not one to panic, things are different when you have a helpless little 2-year-old daughter.  Obviously, my only thoughts are about her.  I just got off the phone with her daycare center.  They've turned off the ducts allowing air into the center and the building manager has assured me that everything is alright.  If anything, the Peanut is probably safer than I am. 

But God damn, is there anything scarier than being a parent? 

 

Comments

[lisa]

I'm on 53rd & 6th. It smells horrible up here too. Our building manager has no idea what is going on.

[Jeff]

Crap. Hopefully everything turns out OK.

But I hear you... there is nothing worse than being afraid for your child's safety and not being able to do anything about it.

[Susan]

I'm in Chelsea and it smells terrible outside. ConEd just reported that it's not a leak. Still a mystery.

[Woman with Kids]

There is nothing scarier than being a parent, and discovering you're not able to make everything better.

[Papa Bradstein]

Ack. That's terrifying. I don't think there's anything that scares me more than 3B being in danger while I can't do anything to help--hang in there. And if you ever need to bug out, you can always stay with us here in D.C. Then again, maybe you want to hit up your friends in nontarget cities.

[Waya]

That is truly scary alright. I hope they'll find the source of the smell soon.

[whit]

Normally I would offer a comment about the smell coming in from Jersey, but you are right- it is frightening.

Hope your worries are eased soon.

[J-Dad]

Parenting 101: the fear is always the worst.

Hope everything turns out ok, MD!

[Izzy]

"But God damn, is there anything scarier than being a parent?"

In a word, no.

Hope it turns out to be nothing :)

[Sarah]

I'm sitting at my desk in Brooklyn, and had no idea. Thanks to you, I just turned on the news. Crazy.

[Anne Glamore]

Thanks for the alert.

No-- the fear NEVER ends. Once the worry over SIDS subsides, you worry about stitches, and kidnapping. Then it's sex and drugs and auto accidents and

-- God-- I sound like a neurotic mother.

Which I am.

Hope all is well, MD.

AG www.tinykingdom.typepad.com

[Busy Mom]

I hope all is well, keep us posted if you can.

[LOD]

I've been my hermetically sealed little palace all morning with no clue that the stink was more acrid than usual. Not surprising, though, since just about everything underneath our streets is at least 100 years old.

[V]

If it makes you feel any better, this happened in Boston once and it turned out to be nothing...it was actually a mis-disposal of the odorant that they use to scent gas, not actually any gas at all. I hope it's the same.

[Souther Fried Mama]

Anne said it best. Wait until the Peanut gets older. I have two teenagers. I worry frantically every time they leave the house!

[delinda]

Well even though we are far away from each other (I'm in Texas) I think this is just too weird. 12 birds found dead downtown unknown causes.
http://www.kxan.com/
Do the birds know something we don't? I hope not. Hope everything stays ok for you over there.

[Tisha]

I had no idea that a strange smell is going through NY. I must check in with my cousin there. You New Yorkers have already been through so much. I hope this is nothing serious and that it gets fixed quickly!

[Bob]

I'm praying that this is just a gas leak somewhere.

[Lunasea]

So far, I've found nothing scarier.

[KC]

Oh God. How terrifying. I have never known such fear as just thinking about the possibility of danger when it comes to my daughter.

Praying that all is easily and innocuously explained.

[twizzle]

How horrible! I'm sorry that you are feeling anxious about that noxious smell. Hope it's just a small gas leak that goes away soon.

No, there's nothing more frightening than being a parent. Especially the parent of ONE.SMALL.GIRL.

[Maisie's Mom]

That would scare the crap out of me, MD. Probably explains why I could never live in a big city. Keep us posted.

[Sarah]

How frightening! And, yes, especially so because of the Peanut.

I had no idea this was happening until I read your post. It smells fine in the Twin Cities (for now--weak laughter).

Here's hoping that it's nothing--maybe misplaced oderant like in Boston. Of course, if it turns out to be nothing, you can imagine the jokes you'll endure about your fine city.

[Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom]

I tried to get my husband to come home but he won't. I'm waiting for SF to go nap so I can put on the news. I'm not liking this...It's the parent thing..worrying over something this scary...

[Jessica]

My sister was living in Battery Park and working uptown during 9/11. Her son was in daycare as the planes hit the towers. She said being away from him and not knowing what was happening was the scariest and most terrifying thing in her life. Thankfully, everything turned out alright but the experience was so scarring that they've since moved up to rural Connecticut and live in a barn.

A bit of an extreme reaction, sure. But who can blame her?

[Carolyn]

It is terrifying. Thankfully I'm home today and my little one is napping safely in her crib. These are scary times... Take care.

[jgm]

I hear you. Worked in DC on 9/11 a few blocks from the Capitol. We were all evacuated, I thought about not going home.

Fast forward three years later, the second I heard the capitol and my daughter's day care (a federal building even closer) had been evacuated, I took off in a dead run for her building only to find everyone back inside upon my arrival.

No doubt children change your perspective.

[Velma]

We're so used to live reporting and instant feedback and being able to look everything up on the internet that it is crazy-making to be told that no one knows what the hell is happening. I hope it is something totally innocuous, like the Boston incident with the odor being just, you know, a bad smell.

[Wayne]

I hope everything is OK. Time was you would more easily assume something innocuous, like a busted pipe no one's been able to locate, but it's easier to say "what if ..." than it used to be, particularly where you live.

I was with a daughter (she's four) when another man tried to pick a fight with me. It actually came to a physical struggle, albeit a brief one, but the whole time I was thinking: what am I going to do to protect her? Awful feeling. (Wrote about it on my site, a post called "Wallet," although I'm not trying to plug my pathetic blog, really!)

[Wayne]

Er, I was with *MY* daughter. Sorry.

[lion]

I think we tend to be pretty fearless until we become parents, at which time it sets in pretty much for life. Which I think is a good thing.

[Jo Jo]

I think you'll find that...no, there is nothing scarier than being a parent.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Is it sad that I get my breaking news off of metrodad.typepad.com?

[Desiree]

Yipes, I'm scanning the news but I can't find anything yet. I'm on pacific time so you're hours ahead of me.

[kittenpie]

I sure hope they're right that it's nothing. But I can only imagine how terrifying. 9/11 I was a mess with my much younger sister staying with us, and I knew we were not too close, being on 30th St. And she was 18, not a tiny one.

[chris]

No, there is nothing more frightening than being a parent. And the depth of that fear is something you couldn't even imagine before you had kids.

Hope everything is okay, I haven't even tuned into the news all day.

[Jason]

I've been checking the news since I heard about this. It's so weird that they seem to have no idea what could cause a smell like that.

[William]

Stay Safe.

[Asha]

ugh...wish you the best, MD. Hopefully this clears up quickly. We all empathize with how horrible the fear can be.

[Glennia]

OK, now I'm worried about you and Peanut and BossLady...Hope it all turns out to be ok.

[Mikeymike]

I thought you New Yawkers were used to the smell of Newark.

[Jules]

Hope everything is ok in NYC, MD!

[Emily]

Oh shit, sorry this is so stressfull for you MD. Thinking of you Boss Lady and the Peanut. I hate this feat shit, I hate it, but this is our world right now.

[creative-type dad]

Being a parent always comes with some kind of fear-
When stuff like that happens, it just makes it worse.

Hope it's just the river or the urine in the subways, and nothing else.

[jenn]

scary, yes. i work on wall street and there is not one day when i don't think of another terrorist attack whether it be on the train to and from work or some other scary-ass chemical and/or bomb that might hit the financial district :P.

[Mom101]

Yikes, how did I not know about this? The only thing worse than having a kid in the midst of it might be having a kid in the midst of it while you are away on the other coast. Ugh.

[landismom]

It is ridiculously scary to be a parent. Glad to hear it wasn't serious.

[steppingoverthejunk]

I'm scared of ALOT more now that I have children. Hoping the gas smell really was nothing and all are safe

[Helen]

I can't believe they STILL don't know where the smell came from. We live in Murray Hill and it's sort of freaking us out!

[KG]

Thanks for the breaking news, MD. Your site's the first one that alerted me to this. Been following this all day.

So everyone's reporting that it was just a "smell" (!!!), whatever that means. I think people better keep looking for a source. This clearly wasn't just the regular NYC stink (which is like roses, people).

And to echo everyone else — NO, nothing scarier than being a parent.