The Holiday Wrap-Up

(1) Aside from the fact that I will never get used to seeing Christmas lights on Palm trees, being in Palm Beach for the holidays was like celebrating the minute differences between the median and the mean. 

(2) Half the time, we got great weather.  Half the time, it was overcast and crappy.  On the flight down, Peanut was a nightmare.  On the way home, she was an angel.  Sometimes she'd let me sleep late.  Other times, she'd wake me up by smacking my head with a book at 7:00 am.  Half the time, she was charming the pants off everyone in the Sun Belt.  The other half, she was terrorizing the world around her.  Aahh...to be two years old and control everything in your entire universe.  THAT'S power, my friends.      

(3) The Peanut now refers to my parents as Babba and Nana.  Since their entire existence currently revolves around golf and their granddaughter, this was possibly the greatest thing to happen to them since Calloway (or as they say in Korean, "Carroray") invented the Big Bertha driver.

(4) Although the Peanut is in that awesome phase where she can generally repeat anything you say to her, for some reason she cannot pronounce the word "Uncle."  So, one night at dinner, BossLady leaned over to the Peanut and said, "Can you call him Tio?"  Of course the name stuck.  So my pale-faced Korean-American brother is now referred to as Tio.  The irony of this is fantastic since my brother has always greeted out-of-town visitors by saying, "Bienvenido a Nuevo York!  Habla Espanol?" 

(5) Holiday Thumbs Up:  "Dreamgirls," David Foster Wallace's "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," Matthew Kneale's "Small Crimes in an Age of Abundance,"  Claire Messud's "The Emperor's Children," NAS' "Hip Hop Is Dead," and the complete DVD set of Aaron Sorkin's "Sports Night." 

(6) Holiday Thumbs Down: Ali Smith's "The Accidental."  Not sure whether this was an exercise in mastubatory self-indulgence or an experiment in post-modern literature.  However, the book has no plot, no ending, and I just wanted to smack every character in the head with a mallet.  NY Giants head coach Tom Coughlin could also use some mallet smacking. 

(7)  BossLady and I have always been very romantic with our Christmas gifts to one another.  Since we both grew up in immigrant homes where personal gifts were never exchanged, we tend to overcompensate.  In past years, we'd spend months searching for those special gifts that would truly capture and express our love for one another.  However, this year, we decided that nothing really says "I love you" like a bad-ass motherfucking giant HD plasma television and a home theater system that can shake the shit out of your neighbor!  Boo ya! 

(Since our current television is 20 years old, weighs 800 lbs, and is partly made out of wood, I'm like a kid in a candy store.  I may never read another book again!)

(8) The Peanut received a fantastic toy kitchen that I think might actually be bigger than our real kitchen.  Her obsession with kitchens has been growing exponentially and we are utterly perplexed by it.  Our own kitchen is used so infrequently that I actually store my ski boots and goggles in the oven.  However, I will say that having your daughter sit you down so that she can cook you an imaginary pizza while asking you if you would like some milk is quite possibly the funnest thing to do in the world.  The best part?  Last night, after our fake meal, she spent 20 minutes pretending to wash the dishes. 

(9) Since we have the world's greatest babysitter, she offered to spend New Year's Eve overnight at our place with the Peanut so that BossLady and I could go out for the evening.  Since we had no idea whether this opportunity would ever happen again, BossLady and I booked a hotel room and decided we were going to party all night like those crazy college kids.  We ended up grabbing some pizza for dinner and joining some friends at a truly great 80's-themed New Year's Eve party being held at a private club.  The theme was "Enchantment Under The Sea" (anyone remember the reference?) and I'm not sure which was better:  seeing all the incredible costumes (big props to our waiter Billy Idol and the two gay guys dressed up in the original Wham! costumes) or playing Name That Tune after every song and singing every single word to every single song by New Order, The Cure, Tom Tom Club, Run DMC, and Depeche Mode !

(10)  I'm 38 years old and it's clear that I don't bounce back like I used to.  After dragging myself out of the hotel at 2:00 pm and going straight to McDonalds, I spent the rest of New Year's Day in my bathrobe making canine figurines out of Play-Do and watching  "Bear in the Big Blue House" with the Peanut.  I was so hungover that I could barely understand what Treelo and Tutter were talking about.  And the whole thing with their friend Shadow scared the crap out of me.  She's so existentially frightening, it's like she's a Kafka character. 

I ended up putting the Peanut to bed early and then tried to watch the movie "Layer Cake" but I couldn't understand the Cockney accents so I dragged my sorry ass to bed and swore that I'd never drink again. 

Of course, it's now three days later and I'm feeling MUCH better.  In fact, I'm feeling so much better that I'm off to a local bar where Greg, Tony, LOD and I are going to get drunk and rub Liz's pregnant belly while feeding her french fries and ice cream!

What's up with all of you?

Comments

[Waya]

Did I tell you WHAM was the first and the only concert I've been to? I was drooling over George Michael like any school girl would. How sad huh?!

As for Sports Night, that was one of the best shows on TV at the time, and too bad it was canceled. I was one of those fans who emailed ABC to ask them to bring it back. But it didn't work. Same goes for "Six Degrees", I guess it's too smart for the normal audience. Bummer!!

Welcome back to reality!

[OneCrazyMomma]

We took pictures at Rockefeller Center, had fantastic seats (5th row center) for the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, took a tour to the Top of the Rock, ate dinner at del Frisco's, made a quick stop into St. Pat's to light a candle for my ailing 84 yr old gram, and then had to go back to reality--Ohio. Christmas in NYC was magical. I am envious that you live in such an invigorating place.

[Melissa]

Can I just say, since I'm de-lurking and all, that you and Boss Lady are so cool and dam it I wished I lived in NYC the other night, just to meet up with you all. Hey, even though I'm done blogging (yes, I'm laughing at myself too) next time you are out this way, we should have coffee. Plus, I keep bugging Liz to finally fucking move out here, so I can stalk her...I mean um have coffee with her.

[Kyran, NTS]

I also had reveller's regret on New Year's Day. I kept thinking all week I would just donate all the leftover booze to the charity but I lately I can look at the vegetable crisper full of Heineken and Friexenet (oh yeah, we are epicures here in Little Rock) and not want to throw up, so maybe I'll hang on to it. Just in case.

[alice, uptown]

The Peanut clearly has a couple of lessons to learn from the how-to-be-a-native New Yorker book. Doesn't she know that kitchens are repositories for the menu drawer?

On the other hand, if she decides to learn to cook when she's old enough to reach the stove, think how much productivity that will add at no cost to your life with the Boss Lady. The idea of the indentured servant may seem antiquated, but isn't that part of what children are meant to be? You know that later on, they'll get you back -- but at the Peanut's age, perhaps you could start by making her think dusting the baseboards is great entertainment.

[mr nice guy]

yo. next time you dudes hit the bars, give a brother a jingle. i know i live in the brooklyn outback and all, but i promise to wear shoes AND zip my fly.

[jiveturkey]

you are getting old. so am i. thank god for literature and technology to keep us young. and music. top 11 of 2006 on its way. as they say, it takes one to know one...

[danny]

I don't like that new Nas record. I don't know anyone who likes the new Nas record. You like the new Nas record?

[just susie]

I'm pregnant! Happy New Year!

[steppingoverthejunk]

My girls play teaparty/cooking/washing dishes CONSTANTLY. Two things I spend money on are books and teaparty/fake food for them. They even have a bucket of it they use in the bath (big tip if you arent already doing it) It started at age 1 1/2 for both of them, the fake cooking thing and my gosh, what a godsend.

[Richard]

I'm not sure what it is with kitchens. I actually cook for a living (a byproduct of being in restaurant management) so that is part of it, but we have two kitchens for the girls. One outside, that is used for mud pies and bug stew and I am sure other nefarious concoctions, and one inside, that takes up half of my damn kitchen. They love it, especially the four year old.

[Velma]

I love that other people are as creeped out by Shadow as I am. That accent that fades in and out? Those scarily pointy silhouettes? Yeek!

[Overwhelemd!]

What a sweet kitchen set Peanut got. My 2 year old son got a kitchen set too from the grandparents. Despite the basket full of plastic food that he has with his set, he prefers to us playdough to create culinary masterpieces! He hasn't pretended to do any dishes yet. I guess the fact that he never sees us doing them may have something to do with that. :)

[Kristen]

Wow! Don't tell John about the new TV/entertainment system, because I cannot afford any more debt right now. OY. And also, don't tell Bryce about the Peanut's new kitchen because that is the one thing he consistently asked for that we lazy-ass parents didn't manage to get under the tree (yes, he's a five-year-old BOY...so maybe he's going to be a famous chef one day!).

[panthergirl]

Waaaahhhh.... home theater!!! I'd give up books for that.

I liked Dreamgirls, but thought it could have used a wee bit more story and a wee less singing. Particularly the spotty places where the dialogue was sung. For me, you either sing all the dialogue or you don't sing any of it.

Happy New Year, MD... the Peanut will love that kitchen. Lucas loved his. And if you haven't bought velcro food yet, you don't know what you're, er, she's, missing.

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