The Holiday Wrap-Up

(1) Aside from the fact that I will never get used to seeing Christmas lights on Palm trees, being in Palm Beach for the holidays was like celebrating the minute differences between the median and the mean. 

(2) Half the time, we got great weather.  Half the time, it was overcast and crappy.  On the flight down, Peanut was a nightmare.  On the way home, she was an angel.  Sometimes she'd let me sleep late.  Other times, she'd wake me up by smacking my head with a book at 7:00 am.  Half the time, she was charming the pants off everyone in the Sun Belt.  The other half, she was terrorizing the world around her.  Aahh...to be two years old and control everything in your entire universe.  THAT'S power, my friends.      

(3) The Peanut now refers to my parents as Babba and Nana.  Since their entire existence currently revolves around golf and their granddaughter, this was possibly the greatest thing to happen to them since Calloway (or as they say in Korean, "Carroray") invented the Big Bertha driver.

(4) Although the Peanut is in that awesome phase where she can generally repeat anything you say to her, for some reason she cannot pronounce the word "Uncle."  So, one night at dinner, BossLady leaned over to the Peanut and said, "Can you call him Tio?"  Of course the name stuck.  So my pale-faced Korean-American brother is now referred to as Tio.  The irony of this is fantastic since my brother has always greeted out-of-town visitors by saying, "Bienvenido a Nuevo York!  Habla Espanol?" 

(5) Holiday Thumbs Up:  "Dreamgirls," David Foster Wallace's "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," Matthew Kneale's "Small Crimes in an Age of Abundance,"  Claire Messud's "The Emperor's Children," NAS' "Hip Hop Is Dead," and the complete DVD set of Aaron Sorkin's "Sports Night." 

(6) Holiday Thumbs Down: Ali Smith's "The Accidental."  Not sure whether this was an exercise in mastubatory self-indulgence or an experiment in post-modern literature.  However, the book has no plot, no ending, and I just wanted to smack every character in the head with a mallet.  NY Giants head coach Tom Coughlin could also use some mallet smacking. 

(7)  BossLady and I have always been very romantic with our Christmas gifts to one another.  Since we both grew up in immigrant homes where personal gifts were never exchanged, we tend to overcompensate.  In past years, we'd spend months searching for those special gifts that would truly capture and express our love for one another.  However, this year, we decided that nothing really says "I love you" like a bad-ass motherfucking giant HD plasma television and a home theater system that can shake the shit out of your neighbor!  Boo ya! 

(Since our current television is 20 years old, weighs 800 lbs, and is partly made out of wood, I'm like a kid in a candy store.  I may never read another book again!)

(8) The Peanut received a fantastic toy kitchen that I think might actually be bigger than our real kitchen.  Her obsession with kitchens has been growing exponentially and we are utterly perplexed by it.  Our own kitchen is used so infrequently that I actually store my ski boots and goggles in the oven.  However, I will say that having your daughter sit you down so that she can cook you an imaginary pizza while asking you if you would like some milk is quite possibly the funnest thing to do in the world.  The best part?  Last night, after our fake meal, she spent 20 minutes pretending to wash the dishes. 

(9) Since we have the world's greatest babysitter, she offered to spend New Year's Eve overnight at our place with the Peanut so that BossLady and I could go out for the evening.  Since we had no idea whether this opportunity would ever happen again, BossLady and I booked a hotel room and decided we were going to party all night like those crazy college kids.  We ended up grabbing some pizza for dinner and joining some friends at a truly great 80's-themed New Year's Eve party being held at a private club.  The theme was "Enchantment Under The Sea" (anyone remember the reference?) and I'm not sure which was better:  seeing all the incredible costumes (big props to our waiter Billy Idol and the two gay guys dressed up in the original Wham! costumes) or playing Name That Tune after every song and singing every single word to every single song by New Order, The Cure, Tom Tom Club, Run DMC, and Depeche Mode !

(10)  I'm 38 years old and it's clear that I don't bounce back like I used to.  After dragging myself out of the hotel at 2:00 pm and going straight to McDonalds, I spent the rest of New Year's Day in my bathrobe making canine figurines out of Play-Do and watching  "Bear in the Big Blue House" with the Peanut.  I was so hungover that I could barely understand what Treelo and Tutter were talking about.  And the whole thing with their friend Shadow scared the crap out of me.  She's so existentially frightening, it's like she's a Kafka character. 

I ended up putting the Peanut to bed early and then tried to watch the movie "Layer Cake" but I couldn't understand the Cockney accents so I dragged my sorry ass to bed and swore that I'd never drink again. 

Of course, it's now three days later and I'm feeling MUCH better.  In fact, I'm feeling so much better that I'm off to a local bar where Greg, Tony, LOD and I are going to get drunk and rub Liz's pregnant belly while feeding her french fries and ice cream!

What's up with all of you?

Comments

[Desiree]

My three year old neice has certainly never seen a dish washed in her household yet the pink kitchen she got this Christmas? Is a pretend dish washing haven. I don't even pretend to understand as my Barbies all refused to get married and I never pretend washed a damn thing. Kids.

[Papa Bradstein]

What a fantastic New Year's Eve party. Much better than sitting around snotting and snuffling until 10 o'clock, then falling asleep on the couch sucking on a Ricola, which is what we did. So did anyone come as Dr. Brown? In a DeLorean?

[MetroDad]

Excellent catch of the "Enchantment Under the Sea" reference, Papa B. You truly are a fellow child of the 80's.

[Lisa]

I love that MetroBro is now called Uncle Tio. My daughter couldn't pronounce Uncle either when she was younger and would always call my brother "Unky". Now that she's 12, she still does call him "Unky". It's too darn cute for words!

[Leora]

(1) I also hated that Ali Smith book. It annoyed me to no end.

(2) After 20 years of marriage, my husband FINALLY got me a Xmas present that I wanted...a Dyson vacuum cleaner! I love it.

(3) I only had 4 glasses of champagne on NYE and I was hungover for the next two days!

[creative-type dad]

Yup- there's nothing like putting a toddler in an airplane. After an hour of screaming and kicking, I wished we had checked in the kid with the luggage.

Funny about the toy kitchen- we're getting that for our daughter (we're kinda late with the gift...she's 18 months so doesn't know...)

[Ian]

Welcome back, mate. Good to have you back in blogland again!

[Jonathon]

Best.holidays.ever.

If only we'd made it a Back to the Future-themed party, (I may be young, but I got the reference, huzzah) instead we wearily crashed on the couch like 38 year-olds.

I mean, 60 year-olds.

[Mama Nabi]

Tio is great - I made a 'Korean' mistake of referring to any man as "Uncle so-and-so" and now LN calls my sister ("Momo" as in i-mo) "Uncle Momo". D'oh. Of course, Momo is also a very delicious Tibetan dumpling... That kitchen rocks! And congrats on your new toy/TV. What fun!

[Brian (dad to 3)]

Oh man, "Sports Night," the best show on TV that no one ever watched. They said it was too smart.

If you watch the early "West Wing" episodes, they had the exact same feel, but I think they got smart and dumbed it down so it lasted longer than "Sports Night."

[mom101]

I was just about to profess envy over the New Year's eve party when...fries? Ice cream! Whoo!!!!

[Rachel]

Two-year-olds are as moody as teenagers, aren't they? Right there with you.

I love that David Foster Wallace book.

[p-man]

Wow. I live on the west coast and I was still in bed before you. Is that too much detail?

I love DFW's description of his cruise on the "Nadir".

[L.A. Daddy]

A nice and quiet dinner eating and drinking a bit too much, but not so much that I wanted to cut off my head. Some football, some wine, some rockin' eve countdowns (we get to watch them roll across the country until they get out to West Coast time), and some more wine. And LA Toddler slept through it all, bless her heart.

[chocolate makes it better]

I have plasma envy!

[NG]

80's theme party, I love it! Why don't I know anyone who does cool stuff like that? I could have kicked everyone's ass at some 80s Name That Tune and Song Trivia. It certainly beats the "go to bed at 5:00 pm heavily medicated with cold medicine and sleep through the entire thing" night I had.

PS You're my density.

PPS Shadow scares the crap out of me too!

[Mr. Big Dubya]

If you've visited my place lately, you'll see how the Dubyas spend a rockin' NYE.

So help me -- if you're not available the next time I'm in town I'll...I'll...well...I'll wait until the next time. Keep Tony away from the Scotch - he gets kind of rowdy.

[daddy in a strange land]

We spent New Year's Eve with other friends with kids, the toddlers running everywhere until (gasp!) 10 p.m. while the adults did DDR and karaoke (all with very little lubrication, mind you). Once home, we fell asleep by 10:30 (The Pumpkin crashed in the car). God, I feel old (and I'm younger than you!). Heh. Happy New Year, MD.

[Karen]

1) Where oh where, oh where is Shadow?

2) Is it the theme of the dance at the end of Back to the Future?

[IFLYG]

We had the in-laws over for two weeks. Two weeks. While we really, really appreciated the baby-sitting, they drive me INSANE.
And "Bear in the Big Blue House" while hungover? Been there/ fear that...
Happy NY, MD!!!

[Tricia]

Wow! Another Sports Night fan. I love it!

[misfithausfrau]

Welcome back. We got our girls a kitchen and fake appliances and fake food. They've been in the basement ever since.

Have a good time this evening!

[whit]

Bars are cool.

(5a) LOVE David Foster Wallace. Love him, even though me makes me feel stupid what with all them smarts he gots.

(5b) Also love Sports Night very much.

(9) Back To The Future! And Wham! all in one night! You have way better friends than I have.

I'm just happy to be back in the routine of things. I never thought I'd ever feel that way, but I do. I really do.

[candace]

That was me, up there. Apparently I'm so happy to be back to real life (as opposed to holiday life) that I can't properly post a comment any more.

[Mom101]

Just so you know, I'm still waiting for my ice cream.

[Hygiene Dad]

Sports Night, Dreamgirls, a plasma and Wham!? Seriously, this is why I love you.

I love how Peanut's kitchen functions better than yours. Boots & googles in the oven? You scare me.

[KC]

I think our parents are the same people.

[croutonboy]

dude, that kitchen rocks the house! I can't let Cheeky see it or she'll be fighting over who gets to clean the dishes. Oh wait...Cheeky! Come over here and check this out!

BTW, Wallace and Sports Night are huge thumbs up. Now the important question is whether there's a Super Bowl party associated with that TV....

[J-Dad]

You're freaking me out, MD. Over the holidays, I read both "Small Crimes in an Age of Abundance" and "The Emperor's Children. I loved both of them. Haven't read any DFW yet but I'll give him a try.

[mrsfortune]

Yes, more asian women are needed as Chefs in this country- represent, peanut! Seriously? She needs to get on Top Chef and then Iron Chef and then the sky's the limit. No dishwashing for her.

Thanks for the book recs ... I read "on beauty" by Zadie Smith and I give it the same review you gave The Accidental. What is it with these meta-tomes anyway?

[Jenny]

Long time lurker, MD. Never commented before but I just want to say that it's a special (or perhaps strange) man who can praise Wallace, Dreamgirls and Nas in the same sentence. It totally explains why I love reading your blog!

Glad to hear you & Bosslady had a fun New Years!

[crazyvirgo]

I'm so with you on Nas, MetroD. I just caught that video on MTV2 the other day, and I was all "what's this? A hip hop video with no skanky booty...can't be." Well I realized it was my boy Nas and sent a prayer up to Tupac thanking him for pushing exposure, and then snapped out of my hiphop wonderland as some overweight rapper stood singing next to a woman with a large rump and a thong on humping a chair.

[Priss]

Hello, I just discovered your journal :)

[cam c.]

That kitchen is awesome! And here I was going to get some paint and cardboard and make a (totally apartment-friendly and collapsable) "Elmo's-world-esque" kitchen for the munchkin. Damn that's cool.

[David]

We played "swap the virus" all xmas and new year and I won thanks to being the only one who didn't mutate into a 24/7 snot-machine.

[JJ Daddy's Baby Momma]

80 degrees in Savannah, low country boil with friends (a large portion being other Twin Parents), drinking my 18th century egg nogg recipe (hard to catch more than a mellow buzz with all that milk fat) and the last guest left at 10 (so their babysitters could go out and party). Baba took LMS, Chang and Eng for a sleepover, so we got to lay around all New Tear's day in our jammies. The perfect new year. NG grabbed "You're my density" before I could.

[William]

What do fellow bloggers talk about when they meet in person?

[Matthew]

Now why did you have to bring up Sports Night? How I miss that show.

It's on DVD, you say? Sign me up!

[Scotto]

An "Enchantment Under the Sea" 80's theme party for New Years Eve sounds awesome. Even if I didn't have kids, I don't think I'd be able to find anything like that here in Portland, ME. Maybe I need to move to New York. Nah!

u'r back MD... I missed reading your blog man!!!!!!!

[Charlie Kondek]

I have to ask: Koreans don't exchange personal gifts at holiday times? Can you elaborate? "Since we both grew up in immigrant homes where personal gifts were never exchanged, we tend to overcompensate."

Oh, and, Get your damn hands off of her, Biff!

[METRODAD]

Charlie! You're commenting? Excellent!

Anyway, most Koreans exchange small gifts of cash. Must be a Confucian thing. It was always heartbreaking as a litle kid to wake up on Christmas and get a little red envelope with $20 in it. Bah humbug!

That's why we tend to go overboard now.

[Barb]

My kids love "Bear in the Big Blue House" so it's on a lot at our house too. I'm with you. Shadow is a strange character who completely freaks me out. Even her voice is creepy. And when she does that thing where she sings shadow plays and tells shadow stories? Even creepier!

[abba-daddy]

Welcome back to the freeze land.

may I use my huzpa and ask to be invited for drinks the next time you all go ?

[Charlie Kondek]

Thanks, MD. Sigh! You and BossLady are such a neat couple.

[Lira]

That toy kitchen is too cool, MD. I can see why Peanut must love it so much. My daughter got a similar one a few years ago. She STILL loves it!

[metro mama]

Oh, your New Year's sounds like so much fun, I'm jealous. We couldn't even get our parents to babysits.

I did enjoy Emperor's Children (thanks for the reco). I also saw Little Miss Sunshine the other night (on your recommendation). Delightful!

[KG]

So jealous of your 80's New Year experience! We would have loved that.

Got the "Enchantment..." reference. ;) And the memories come pouring back...yikes. I am old.

[Izzy]

Duuude! WHAM costumes are BRILLIANT! And I would have schooled ALL of you in "Name that Tune"!