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November 15, 2006


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I didn't know girls farted.


OHMIGOD! The is the most freakin' adorable outfit ever. I cannot wait until my little monkey is big enough to buy clothes like that for her. Those tights are to die for. I can't believe the cuteness.


It's good to know that laughing at farts is embedded in the human genome. My son doesn't laugh at his own farts but he thinks his father's farts are hilarious.


and you should be so proud of her....

I'd rather raise a well balanced child myself. not these crazy kids they got goin on today.


Look at her! She's SO CUTE! Asian kids are the cutest - I ought to know. ;) And dressing girls is so much more fun than dressing boys. There, I said it. I have one of each and it is much more fun shopping for the Munchkin than it is for Tad.

You have an amazingly healthy approach to all of this, MD, especially considering what you see at the playground. When I'm at the playground with my kids, I'm constantly keeping Tad from eating bark and chewing sticks, and making sure that the Munchkin isn't beating up another kid for first dibs on the slide. Yup, they're normal.

As a former "gifted" child, it ain't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you're Asian. I got to the point where I wanted to kick people hard just because they assumed I fit their sterotype. I mean, I did fit it, but I still wanted to kick them. As you can tell, my anger management therapy has not been as effective as one might have hoped. ;)

How About Two?

Cute kid. Nice Ferris Bueller reference. :-)


OMG, MD. The Peanut is too adorable for words. I LOVE her outfit. She's one stylish little cutie pie.

ray lee

I think a good way to help her develop would just be to put her in a place that has other children. That kind of interation will develop a lot of social skills.

And of course, I'm not the first and will not be the last to say this, but your daughter is adorable. I also really admire the way you guys are raising your daughter. I can't wait to be a father.

-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


I say relax and let her develop the way she's gonna develop anyway.

Consider this:

All those parents are pushing their kids to catch up to whom? Korean kids.

And....I'm guessing your parents with manifest themselves in you, and your in-law's in your wife, in due time, and will place plenty of pressure on Peanut to perform.

metro mama

Cakes and I both giggle at her farts.


The Peanut rocks. Her outfit, her expression, the fact that's playing with trash. Love her!!


"My kid farted on your honor student!"

The next must-have bumper sticker?


Ok I'll pluck up the courage to say -- and if you're kid is ahead of the curve FUCK that! Our daughter shows some hints of overachievement. To be honest she weirds me out sometimes... and the way the grandpeople get on her to perform her various skills has sort of come between us all. She's our baby not some aquarium seal BABA!!!!!

Besides by the time she is five it won't matter anyway that she has a lot of skills early. THANK GOD.

Really my favorite thing this week is her blowfish impression.


I'm sure you'd feel differently when you find yourself reading her "The Aristocats" 15 times in a row!


Yes, this seems to be happening more frequently nowadays. Children are no longer allowed to just be children. I find it so unhealthy and I wonder what it means for future generations.


I really believe that one of the saddest things children face is not having a chance to be children. I think this is their time to be free from stress, from pressure, from anxiety. Because once it starts it only gets worse and worse for years and years to come. They need the free time, the down time, the time to explore being themselves - not what someone wants them to be or to do. I wish parents wouldn't forget that and instead push their kids so hard.


I was really sad to see the mom with four kids at the dentist today - the mother was so concerned with her kids acting properly (sitting in the waiting room chairs without slouching or putting their feet up, not making any noise - as in normal playing with toys noise even) that her kids seemed scared and bored and she seemed totally stressed out. I figure as long as Ada isn't actively attacking anyone we are doing pretty well. I'd hate to have a child who looked so cowed all the time.

creative-type dad


Totally agree. It's like kids have to learn latin right out of the womb these days. Why not just let the kid be a kid.

Pete Son of Ted

The greatest pandemic we face is Parental Anxiety. Is it a Gen X thing ... or do just we imbibe far too much coffee and sugar?????
And hey, farts ARE funny.


Unfortunately, NYC doesn't have the market on Alpha parents--they are everywhere. I ran into so many in Cincinnati that I became very wary to participate in many playdates. Ella is going to be 4 in a couple of weeks and I am perfectly ok with the fact that she doesn't read, doesn't write and only cares about things that are pink. She absolutely loves to laugh at farts and belches.It's all good.

the weirdgirl

Kids are supposed to be doing stuff by two? Development stuff? Besides pretending not to hear you, cooperating only sporadically, and refusing to use words in occasional attempted power plays? Really?

Shit. I'm in trouble.


Wiping boogers on flowers? The girl's a genius. Seriously, though, playing with trash is what kids SHOULD be doing. Shit, adults should be too. People need to chill out and let live. Sheesh.


Giving you a standing ovation for that post!

BUT--a two year old shouldn't dress better than I!


OH MY GOD -- we have the SAME TRASHCAN!!!!

Oh, and by the way -- your little gas machine is utterly adorable.


thank you

I think I was a quasi alpha parent with my oldest (I didn't run around stressing about her but I'd brag about her to anyone who listened)

my son is autistic, however, and developmentally about somewhere between 9 months and 2.5. It really changes your perspective.

that said, he wouldn't pay attention to books at all if we tried to read to him until we got him one with pictures he liked. He loved the veggietales videos (or anything computer animated), so we got him a veggietales book, with pictures like the graphics in the videos. After getting that book, he will now occasionally let me read other books to him and will touch the pages and turn them

Her Bad Mother

Playing with garbage is clearly a sign of an advanced artistic imagination. You don't get into the Tate with paint-by-numbers and watercolors, baby - it's all installation and installation work with an eco-message is totally next-gen.


Thanks for a great post on how parenting SHOULD be! Letting one's child be a child while a child, is the very best kind of parenting (and childhood activity).


Daniel is also a big fan of playing with garbage.... Rocks are another favorite. It sounds like you're raising Peanut very much like many people in Sweden. Relaxed and let things come as they want depending on what personality your child has. As you know, and apparently other people don't, it doesn't matter if you teach your son say the alphabet or count to ten by age 2. It sounds impressive but what matters is how your kids act later in life. No need to force kids to do stuff at a young age, they will learn by playing. They will pick up great skills at day care and at home. What matter is what they can do when parents aren't there to guide them every step of the way.


The Mad Momma

I feel better... I thought I was a terrible mother for not caring that he doesnt do half the things i am told other 18 month old do... but i cant help it.. i just couldnt care less!!!

we're happy playing in the dirt and trying to fish things out of the toilet bowl.


I have to laugh at your post after this weekend, MD. Yesterday, our little miss sunshine was a little too quiet. When we went to check in on her in the kitchen, we discovered that she had been quietly emptying out THE ENTIRE GARBAGE CAN! She was completely covered in garbage. So gross. Yep, that's our little genius too.


Who cares about the friggin' alphabet... judging from the ensemble in that photo, your kid has style!


She is gorgeous!! Just surfin' by!


Thanks, MetroDad. My lil' monsters are 2 1/2 ... I'm so sick of hearing about all the gazillion classes that people in NYC put their toddlers in. Don't even get me started on the preschool thing. I'm hoping to keep my kids happy, playing, unpressured, and unstructured for as long as possible, even if it ends up meaning homeschooling. After all, the same Alpha-Parent mindset that emphasizes "accomplishments" at two applauds inanities like homework in kindergarten. Fuck that.


It is way cool that you don't stress out about what the Peanut can or can't do. If you want the Peanut to learn her ABC's, you might try spelling them out with your body. It might take a few tries, but it sounds like the Peanut is a kinesthetic learner. And if it doesn't work out the way you want, so what, at least you did something new. If it does work, you could try acting out the board books to add a little variety.

Those are just a few suggestions I recently read in a Parents or Parenting magazine. Lucky me, my little guy is a visual learner like me, so I don't have to stretch my brain to teach him new things.


Good job! Like everyone else has said, whatever happened to letting children be children? There's certainly more to life than academics, important though they may be. There's a time and a place for that and right now little Peanut is discovering the wonders of her new little world! And her outfit is SO adorable!


Peanut sounds like she's exactly where she should be...having fun and looking damned cute in pink and brown!

Queen of Ass

I can TOTALLY get that kid!


shes a doll! and dont worry, everything she does, she is always learning! playing with garbage may lead to a career as an environmental scientist and ends global warming!


You're horrified when you see them doing that kind of stuff, but you're giggling about it five minutes later with your wife.

I feel you. Very cute.

Karl S.

Sweet post. I'm with you, shake the shit out of the alpha moms. Rip the cellphones out of the hands of any mother or father who has it pasted to their ears at the playground instead of paying attention to their kids.

Let kids be kids.


i love this riff on lloyd dobler. he is dreamy, but not to be triffled with by a wanna-be.

hope you don't mind, but i linked you in my bog post today...about the Mets.


Proud father of an F student

At least you do not need to worry about having to save for college!

I raised my son the same way and he is doing fine. He only has two Fs this marking period!

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