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November 21, 2006


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Funny how we/they all look the same, deüending on your perspective. During a week in Hong Kong once, all the caucasians started blending into one perspiring, slightly obese, ugly-looking, red-haired mass. But maybe that was because all the ex-pat financial types tend to dress the same. I tried to hold in my tum and look different.


Couple of things.

For Quitting Smoking use Sunflower Seeds and Lemon Drop candies in stead of carrots.

You wore a brown belt> I thought all Asians were Black belts by default :)

You area funny funny man. Have a good holiday.


"Stop sticking crayons in your vagina!" That cracked me up, MD.

Last week, I had to tell my son to stop sticking his magic markers up his butt. Wasn't a pretty sight.

Happy holiday to you and your family!


You rule, MetroDad. And I say that in a totally heterosexual man-crush way. Very funny post. And you're totally right about the anger in this country -- I blame it all on the Republicans.

Re quitting smoking, you should do what Earl (My Name is Earl) did: kidnap a friend's smoker mom and quit together. Seriously? I recommend taking up running to help quit smoking for good. You'll soon be craving endorphins instead of nicotine.

Re The Office, I thought I was Team Pam, but definitely Team Karen now. Love her smile.

Happy Thanksgiving!


I quit smoking three times before it stuck. Cold turkey and tough on everyone within earshot. Best thing I ever quit though, need to be around for the little ones. Stay focused and the pain you are feeling. It proves just how vile the filthy things are, having that kind of effect on your head, dirty cigarettes.


"Is your Dad a G.I. b/c you're exotic!" Karen is pretty but I'm definitely a Team Pam gal. But Dwight is getting on our nerve in a good way, he's hilarious!

Didn't you know that Korean men are the next hot thing? Replacing the Italian men? Yeah, it's true! Yes, I'm very lucky to be reminded of that fact every day by the hubbie.

Can we all just get along?! Amen to that Pierre! I think we tend to take things for granted. We need to see the bigger picture, there is somebody else who has bigger problems than we do.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving with your loved ones!!


Happy thanksgiving, bud.


First, I hope people really do take this week as a chance to chill out with loved ones and realize how good we all have it in the larger scope of things.

Second, I'm totally swiping that "5 Ways to Live Dangerously" thing. I've only got to get through 9 more days of NaBloPoMo!


I thought I had it bad. My daughter has a new fetish with putting pennies between her butt cheeks. Weird kid...

Thanks for the rant, I couldn't agree more. All the negativity we're surrounded by just makes me so sad for the world my daughter will face.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!


This reminds me of Bowling for Columbine (yeah yeah, I know there were inaccuracies but the message was the same). Is it that we're really truly angry, or is it that our perspective has changed? I mean, it's not like there's anything new happening, it just seems as though it's reported more and we're more aware. There's no such thing as the good old days. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do anything about it, it just means that our parents lives were just as shitty or worse and so perhaps we can let go of some of the guilt.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you, the Bosslady, and the Peanut. May your chicken wings be crispy on the outside and moist on the inside because we all know you haven't fully discovered the true greatness that a turkey can be.

Paige Jennifer

As usual, an entertaining post. The Walmart snippet? Gold, pure gold. Arkansas doesn't get a lot more than just your humor.

As for smoking and insurance, just about every company will allow you to request removal of the smoking classification if you remain smoke-free for one year. In other words, just pay more and use the excess premium as an incentive to kick the habit. Otherwise, you might be pushing it off for, well, ever.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Cold Turkey's the way to go. The first couple of days suck, then you think you got it licked, then a couple of weeks later...BAM! you want a smoke. Watch out for the sleeper wave.

Wal-mart's selling babies? I heard Costco is going into adoption. They get a bulk discount by buying entire orphanages.

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the peace.


Very funny post! I prefer to think of Americans as passionate, but when you are quitting smoking I'm sure angry is a more appropriate description.
Happy Thanksgiving. Rumnumnumnum


that's what you call :"light posting" ?

when oh when do you have the time ?


OMG...Love your posts, you are too funny. What a lucky little girl to have such an informed and very smart Dad. Happy Thanksgiving.


My favorite TV character right now is Hiro from Heroes. I just adore him. Heroes is my favorite show too.

I'll go with yes on the Peanut being normal. Yes.

I hope you have a great Thanksgivng. I sure hope you're not visiting family. Not the best week to quit smoking if you are. Anyway, good luck on that. Twizzlers is my best guess. Way better than carrots. Plus, a nice fat free food. ;)


amen, brother. we can all use a bit more tenderness right now -


Came back to say that I am totally fascinated by that Francois Brunelle look-a-like project. It's so strange. Some of those resemblances are downright frightening.

Now, I can't help but wonder if there's someout there who looks just like me.


Uh, brown belt, black shoes, and you call yourself MetroDad???
Who needs Arkansas? But I could use a couple of kids, but maybe not from WalMart or Arkansas.
Go Team Karen!
Anger rant - I agree, but could it be the addiction talking?
I am thankful for your blog.


carrot sticks? what happened to redi-whip? you could get a holster for it.


You'll be glad to hear that my daughter sometimes likes to put Cheerios in her vagina. I guess it's just one of those things that you never think about as a parent until your own kid does it.

Lovely sentiment at the end, MD. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.


Happy Thanksgiving, MD.

Helen L.

Well, I'm not quite menopausal but I think I have a crush on you, MD! Love the way your twisted mind works. Hope you and the family have a great Thanksgiving.


I quit smoking last year. Was a smoker for almost 20 years. Quit a thousand times before. What worked this past time? Getting winded running around with my kids. Best motivator I ever had.

Oh yeah...the patch helped too! Good luck. It ain't easy but you're making the right decision for you and your family.

Ten Feet of Steel

I can't speak for The Peanut, but this is why _I_ love Cookie Monster.


Anne Glamore

Your description of how you feel while trying to quit smoking sounds a lot like PMS to me.


creative-type dad

Last note - nicely said. It's one thing to be upset, it's another just to be an angry a-hole.

What's this about peeing orange? When it snows, at least your name will be in a different color.

Hygiene Dad

It's freaking posts like this that make me wish I was a menapausal woman...oh wait...I'm gay. Seriously, I love it when you are ON and my friend, you are totally on with this post.

So my random thoughts:
Quitting sucks and you do hate everything. But eventually, you only the smoking. Trust me, the ninth time...no twelveth time is the best.

Love Prime suspect. Awesome show and strong woman role model.

Don't worry on anger, just keep love in your heart.

Vaginas? Totally don't understand them.


Happy T-day Metro.

As for the anger thing, maybe we need to all stop perpetuating the whole strong manly anger male figure? Could that be part of it? Or are women angry too?

Who knows - but I think there needs to be some acceptance in our society for other emotions - like hurt, pain, sadness etc... Many angry people are those things but just don't know how to deal.

Sorry. The therapist coming out in me.


Cookie Monster, if not bulimic, has some sort of addiction problem. He looks at a cookie, resolves not to eat it, then can't stand it and breaks down to inhale the cookie. Not only that, he has terrible table manners. Our two year old actually imitates Cookie's method of shoving food into his mouth and making strange eating noises. We have to talk to him about how Cookie Monster is not very polite. Thanks a alot, Sesame Street.


Nice finale with heart.

Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and really awesome carrot sticks.


MetroDad, those women were totally hitting on you, because Jin on Lost is HOT! Take it as a compliment. If they said, "you remind me of my gardner, Mr. Yoshimoto; he does lovely things with the azaleas" then be pissed, and I'll be pissed for you.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! You are so right--we have so much to be thankful for.

Tom N.

Are you saying you don't like how I play guitar? ;-)

(The "N" in "Tom N." stands for "Nugent".)


You wore a brown belt with black shoes? WTF? Kick the habit man, not the style.

(another)pnuts mama

MD, congrats on quitting smoking, it is so freakin hard and yes i feel your anger/withdrawl. i used to chew mcdonalds straws (exact same diameter as parliaments) like, the first month or two to help break the oral fix. we smoked for about ten years (yikes!) and it sucked to quit but i didn't want my kid(s) to ever have to lose me over something that i could have prevented. you know you're close to being over it when you're in duane reade and someone walks by you reaking of smoke and you're all like"eww".
and cookie monster remains my fave muppet b/c everyday that dude cracks my shit up and helps me vent emotion that otherwise would probably come out as rage. he's awesome.
happy thanksgiving, hope you and your family have a great one.

(another)pnuts mama

ps we call our kid pnut too (she's tiny), which is why i didn't want anyone to get confused that i was trying to impersonate bosslady. sorry. also i believe the proper spelling is reek, not reak. jeez.


Hahaha hey twin wassup. I started smoking in 10th grade...quit cold turkey 12 years later. I've always described the quitting smoking experience as a hunger strike that never ends and you don't get the sweet relief of dying. Oh and my chicks-hitting-on-me detector has always been painfully retarded I usually had to just go with the naked rule. If they're naked then they like you. Maybe. Oh and once you master quitting smoking you get to smoke every now and then...that's like level 11.

The Mad Momma

Excellent post... You guys do live a great life there and I sm surprised you stopped to mention it... Most of the world would give an arm and a leg to move there.


This is a great post, MD. I love it when you do these. Nice way to wrap it all up. Couldn't agree with your sentiments more. I've always thought that people are too angry blaming other people when things get bad but never stop to realize how lucky they truly are. Have a very happy Thanksgiving with your family.


Tip: every time you have the urge to smoke, look at your daughter. That's what finally got me to quit.

Brown belt w/black shoes? How UN-Metro!

I'm on Team Karen too. Pam had her chance with Jim and she blew it. Now she needs to pay the consequences.

Loved the last part. You said it, MD. Have a great Thanksgiving holiday.


I really hope I don't have a look-alike anywhere on the planet. Poor thing! It's bad enough that I have this face; I wouldn't wish it on anyone else!

I read you here, I read you there, I read you at Jay's, I am your harmless pre-menopausal stalker, dear MetroDad. Every step you take, every move you make. . . . Alert the Police!

I always like to tell my victims I'm 'harmless;' they let down their guard then and I move in for the kill.

Just kidding. Or am I? Tee hee.

Happy Thanksgiving to the lovely MetroFamily. May all your dreams come true. (except the ones where you're naked and dancing with the stuffed turkey. . . .)



Great choice of women, MD. I totally love Hellen Mirren, Tina Fey and Rashida Jones. I'm guessing you just watched Prime Suspect 7? How awesome was it?

Happy Turkey to you and your family!

L.A. Daddy

You're gonna love this. The urge to smoke never goes away. It comes back every once in a while to remind you that you're human. I quit in 1995 and at least once a month (sometimes more) I'll get a wave, a rush, a burning desire to jog down to the 7-11 to buy a pack of smokes and inhale an entire cigarette in one long puff until I pass out from lack of oxygen.

Totally sucks, man.

Try cigars. I did that for about a month. Then I got tired of those and was done.

And it was for insurance purposes, too. I signed the non-smoking waiver on a new job and never looked back...


Amen. Happy Thanksgiving.

Good luck with the no smoking. You can do it. Do it for Peanut's children!


Thanks for reminding us just how fortunate we are. Less anger would make the world a much better place. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Happy belated birthday, too! Men don't get older, they become more distinguished. :)

metro mama

Happy Thanksgiving Metro Dad! Good luck with the smoking. It does get easier, honest.


I really appreciate your thanksgiving advice. I am generally sick of the complaining AND the anger. PMS culture also extends to the cope-ology of the current day. I mean everyone is oriented to 'how do we cope?'... and 'are you coping.' Maybe some movement to count blessings, and not deficeits (sp?), extend beyond today.

Happy thanksgiving to all.

ps... Yeah Miss Fancy is all fascinated with her J-eye-nah and it is bit easier for Mom to smile through it all and say ok that's fine. P-man looks at me with the fear-filled look of a poodle a shearing time. Not fun.


This is my first time posting--just had to tell you that all 3 of my girls have done the bath crayon in the vagina thing. I, too, have a running list of things I never thought would come out of my mouth. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!


Not to gloat but I'm so glad I never got addicted to smoking. When I was 17 and just started I asked a friend how long it took him to become addicted and he said two months. That's when I stopped. I thought it took a long, long time and figured I had time to quit. Good luck! My ex quit cold turkey. I'm not being helpful, am I? I laughed out loud at the "crayon in the vagina" remark! And I agree, we in America take for granted how well we really do have it in life. Thanks for your wonderful post! You are always so insightful! Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

alice, uptown

MD, never say "quit." "Decided to stop" has a much better ring to it. Think about -- (ha! says she, the once and again smoker) what you're going to gain vs. what you're giving up. When I did stop smoking, I had weaned myself down to 5 cigarettes a day, and I enjoyed every one of those. What helped me stop was a nicotine inhaler -- closest imitation to a cigarette as you can get in terms of inhaling and pretending to hold a cigarette in your fingers. What made me start again, was, well, two years on, I still liked the smell of cigarettes -- you don't find it much in the U.S., but leave this country, and ashtrays still abound. Then there was the anger bit....I would say I was thinking about stopping again since the Democrats saved us from two more years of utter hell under W., but then again, you and I *know* too many of those Democrats not to be more than a tad cynical.

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