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October 25, 2006


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sadly, Smith has already been cancelled. bitches.

the weirdgirl

Just don't let the BossLady get into spinning her own yarn for knitting. Trust me on this one.


Regarding lying to your kids, I don't think a little white lie now and then is going to hurt anybody. My kids are 8 and 10, still 'believe' in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy - I think modern society is trying to take all the fun and fantasy out of being a kid.

I grew up with all sorts of disinformation (My mom used to say, "Leave a big tip - otherwise they'll think all Asians are cheap!") but I didn't grow up to be a psychopath or plagued with emotional problems. Okay, one out of two ain't bad.

(David Spade is a genius!)

JJ Daddy-O

The Wire... the most awesome show on TV.
CSI?.... not so much.


Thank for making me see that bribery and Korean girls have a symbiotic relationship at every stage of development.

When they are babies it's cheese. In college it's LV. When they are my age it's diamond rings.

You know what's sad, you watch more tv than I, the single guy who has his whole home planned around a huge Samsung tv.

Oh wait, I get to go to the gym and go out whenever I want to.


Dude, encourage the nitting. Lady-A just made Little-E the coolest fucking baby legwarmers I've ever seen.


you are such a girl. : )

I love LB too, Kyndra is crazy girrrllllllll.


Dude. Why ruin a post with LB talk. :)

I can't even type it.


UGH. the Y. UGH.

Samantha Jo campen

Knitting on crystal meth--laughed out loud.

I'm trying to start knitting too but I think it's boring. But I still want to do it. What to do, what to do. I guess start knitting on the potty should spice things up a bit. Thanks for the assvice:-)


Keep up with the no lies. I think it guarantees the kid will eventually have a built-in bullshit detector.

Tell Boss Lady to start reading knitting blogs -- the Yarn Harlot, Go Knit in Your Hat, Wendy Knits, Grumperina, Now Norma Knits. She will learn far more from those than she ever will from a book or from the nice ladies at her LYS (that knitter for Local Yarn Store). And if you value your checking account, never let her know about Habu Textiles in NYC.

dear wife

Yeah I find whenever I start liking a show that is well written no one else does and it gets cancelled. I will have to check out some of what you are Tivoing, right now it is only Studio 60 and the Office I catch. I was unsure about Friday Night Lights, I am not a fan of sports drama but I will give it a shot.


Geez, I have trouble keeping up with the four shows that I watch... Survivor, Amazing Race, Prison Break, and Battlestar Galactica.

I'll watch the other stuff, like 24 and Desperate Housewives, but not until it's out on DVD and I can marathon it in one blurry weekend.


I am so hearting you, MetroDad.

I too hate all those crappy tv shows but boy, have I gotten sucked into Laguna Beach. Who's the whorey self-esteem issue with the "older" boyfriend she cheated on? Is that Kyndra? Can't wait to see what she's up to in ten years.

Her Bad Mother

Ha. Liz got me sucked into Laguna Beach. There's no turning back.

And I posted about lying vs. creative storytelling last week. Short version? Lying is good for you. My mother's insistence that if I unscrewed my bellybutton my bum would fall off made me a better person, fer shur.


Someone really needs to get you your own television show, MD (even though it would probably be one of those shows that gets critical acclaim but is cancelled after 3 episodes.)


Dude, you watch Gilmore Girls? Metro as usual you crack me up. I wouldn't tell the Peanut that Elmo is waiting downstairs because it will backfire on you, but bribery always works for me. Some say not to do it, but shit it's the way of the world. If I do what my boss wants I get a raise every year and a bonus. Why shouldn't my kid learn that if she is quiet in the grocery store, I'll buy her fruit snacks. Now I was already going to buy her that shit, but she didn't know that. Work it for as long as you can. I keep jelly beans in a baggie in my purse for bad moments. Oh and Santa works well too. After this Christmas, once Peanut for sure gets it, you can always threaten to call Santa. Maya falls for it every time and she's almost 5.

Smith was cancled I believe. But I agree on your TV thing. My Tivo is getting full. I've never really found more that two shows a season that I even semi like, but this time it is insane. And we just can't seem to stop watching any of them. Good news is, I'll be watching new shows all of next summer because there is too much to see. Bad news is, I'll need to buy another Tivo when I run out of room on this one. Have you seen Heroes?

Papa Bradstein

With an offer like that, MetroBro better show up. Hell, I'd come babysit just to hang with the Peanut, but you make an offer that can't be refused. Except I'm not your brother. And I don't live in NYC. But other than that, I'd love to help you out. . .wait, I just re-read that. . .is MetroBro actually Charlie Sheen?

As for the Freedom Tower--which might have been something beautiful and inspiring--what better to memorialize the clusterfuck that politicians create than a building that resembles nothing more than a giant prick?


I knew you were a closet Gilmore Girls fan. Admit it!


I love the fact that you're begging your brother for babysitting services via a blog post. You rock. Also, BossLady's knitting is scaring me... but it's so impressive!


She just started knitting and now she's making a sweater? And that thing about Asian people being overacheivers is a stereotype? Are you sure????

I honestly, honestly tried to watch Laguna Beach but I couldn't catch up. Guess I'll have to get the first few seasons on DVD and deal with it.


Ah, knitting. I knitted like a raving lunatic during my pregnancy up until Joles was born. (Actually knitting during labor). Scarves, blankets, socks, ponchos. Then, nothing since. The compulsion just went away. Oh yeah, there was also this exorcism....


If there's a way to parent without bribery, I don't know about it. (And hey, I'm a professional)


"...10 years ago (when I was so full of myself and my hip urban lifestyle)..."

Oh. So you're over this now. Um. Okay. Good luck with that.
Metro, I'm always packing "pocket cheese" also, so I love that I'm not the only over the top daddy out there. But I carry string cheese sticks, and I just know you carry a wedge of brie or camambert or something. Just sayin' :)
And Studio 60 is one of the few new shows we're watching around here...getting better every week in my opinion. Wish new shows, especially with that kind of writing, were given more of a chance to develop, fill in back story, find their groove (and audience) etc.
And a beret? I always sort of picture you in more of a fez. Whatever.

creative-type dad

Ah man, the wife's sister is trying to get her into knitting. I'm fighting it - I don't want knitted clothing like my brother-in-law. He looks like a poodle

What will they guys at school ,I mean work, think?

Liberal Banana

Oh no - my initials have now been reduced to standing for Laguna Beach!

Is it bad that I love watching DOND - ahem, Deal or No Deal? I'm always like "Take the fucking deal, you selfish bitch!" (Sidenote: Do I maybe have anger problems?)


stay the hell out of my utuerus? that cracked me up, md. i almost snorted coffee out my nose.


You use cheese. We use crackers. Same difference. It's weren't for bribery, I'd never get our son out of the house. Go with it, MD!


You need to show Boss Lady this site, Monster Crochet, for inspiration.


We use the Beastie Boys methodology for getting our elder son to do our bidding:

what the voices in Daddy's hear say:
"You've got two choices of what you can do.
It's not a tough descision as you can see.
I can blow you away or you can ride with me."

what daddy says:
"We can't play outside naked.
Do you want to wear the yellow shirt or the green shirt"

The Elder:
"Yellow Shirt"

"Sweet, let's ride"


Knitting will make Boss Lady's hands and fingers stronger, which is good for - you know - dirty stuff.


I once saw a mini interview on the Biography Channel - I forgot who it was who was being interviewed - but he was asked, "Do you ever lie?" And he replied that yes, the people that he lies to are his children because all children need to believe that everything will be okay and that they are safe. I thought that it was a really poignant sentiment and really very true.


I love that uncle quote. When my bro and I were young teenagers, our Uncle Bruce was aways the one who let us drink a sip of his beer, puff a drag on his cigarettes, and let us look at his Playboys. Pretty innocent stuff now that I look back on it but back then, Uncle Bruce was our favorite uncle. He still is.



Go to The Yarn Co. on 82nd & Broadway. Fantastic selection of yarns. Lots of stuff that you won't find in catalogs or online. Welcome to the club!


That Stephen Colbert quote is hilarious. Is it me or is he getting funnier and funnier every day?

Mama Nabi

Sadly, we also use Elmo as bribe material - how is it that kids love Elmo so much?? Hah, I've been catching Studio 60 as well - I hope it doesn't get nixed like Sports Night or any other show that has more dialogue than an average Chaplin movie. Another show that I wish I were able to watch more is Boston Legal (the new version with Shatner and Spader) because I love Spader's dialogue... okay, I digress. Y'know, before LN, I was the grinch, the know-it-all curmudgeon who thought parents who cater to their kids' Xmas fantasies were a bunch of lying bitches... now, I'm all about Jingle fucking Bells and "oooh, wait 'til you meet Santa!"... and working on the perfect lie that'd convince her that Santa doesn't need a chimney to get to our house. These little humans have brainwashing powers... it's too late for me, but save yourself!
BTW, it's too funny that a 'harmless' hobby like knitting can have men like you shaking in their boots... my virtue is too precious to give as a gift so I think I, too, will start knitting scarves.


OMG, that lady who knitted the Ferrari is insane! I admit that I love to knit also and I can see how people get completely obsessed with it. Just ask my husband!


"getting the Peanut into her stroller is like wrestling a penguin into a dress"

You're not alone, MD. For the record, we bribe our kid with animal crackers.


when ever my daughter wants a pet I tell her that when we'll get back to Israel she'll have what ever she wants - I should stop because in her little head she is making a list

btw, u should really see, what I believe to be excellent shows:

1. Law and order criminal intent - the main actor Vincent D'Onofrio is amazing

2. Battleship Galactica - I just started and I'm hooked


The cheese isn't bribery, it's incentive! Don't say, "If you get into your stroller, you can have some cheese." Say, "You can have the cheese WHEN you get into your stroller." That way, she knows her butt's going into that stroller, like it or not, but that she can have her cheese when she is sitting there. The cheese just greeses the wheels. Even with dogs, you give them a treat when they do a trick for you. You just don't give them the option of doing the trick or not.



Agree with you on the pocket cheese and if past me, world traveling expat consulting engineer could see now me- with my two girls (Stradling peanuts age)traveling less than most, I would be shocked. The real split in life is not married/unmarried- its kids/no kids and dogs don't count.

Dig studio 60- hope it lasts

As for WTC- the company I was working for at the time worked on the Pentagon reconstruction and the deadline for both moral and symbolic purposes was to be done by the first aniversary of 9/11 and they made the date. Granted there are many more players involved in the WTC than the Pentagon but enough is enough

Anne Glamore

Cool, knitting! BossLady can knit with me-- I'll be up there again next weekend to help Aunt Lulu. Maybe y'all could give us some lessons on the whole baby/stoller/carseat/taxi thing. I didn't have to face that with my minivan.

Anne Glamore


Can you imagine if Charlie Sheen really was your uncle? How awesome would that be?

p.s. You're not alone with the stroller bribery, MD. Nope. Not alone at all.


Is the Bosslady procrastinating on something? Her knitting reminds me of my newfound bento obsession. Also don't worry about the lying, as I've said before, manipulation and propaganda are what parenting is all about. Children need something to talk to their therapists about. Normal people are just boring ya know??


BTW, have you ever checked out Calvin and Hobbes? The relationship Calvin had with his dad and all the explanations his dad came up with were classic. :sigh: I miss that series. I'm sorry, I don't really watch TV, that's all I've got.


We don't watch TV anymore, because we don't have time and something had to give. But we're surrounded by TiVo addicts who are trying to get us hooked. Their newest ploy is to convince us that TiVo isn't really TV at all since commercials can be zapped into oblivion. Someone I know has a TiVo fantasy: the next TiVo will be as big as a room in his house, and he'll be able to TiVo THE ENTIRE WORLD!

Blackberries, TiVo, and the Borg all basically share a similar marketing energy: Resistance is futile.

Papa Smurf

Wait until you have THREE kids, MD. Once you're outnumbered like that, all's fair in love and war. You'll be using bribes, lies, and deception to control the kids.

And you'll be lucky if it works HALF the time!


If someone had told me 10 years ago that 4:00 in the morning meant nursing the baby and changing diapers, I would have laughed my ass off. Now? I couldn't imagine a better thing to be doing that late at night.


You keep cheese in your pocket? I would never have guessed.

It tastes best at room temperature anyway.

I haven't done that, but I keep snacks in the car to bribe the boys with when we are away from home, and to entice my 4 yr old to GET IN THE CAR when I pick him up from daycare (otherwise it takes him 20 minutes to say good-bye to everyone).


You crack me up, MD. Your references are more scattered than Dennis Miller on speed. How do you sort it all out in your head?


Went to Aaron Sorkin's house for a party last year - kind of a pompous dick. Obviously talented but all his shows are the same: choppy staccato wit followed by soliloquy after soliloquy. We all want to tell the Christian Right to fuck off and he gets to do it week after week, so maybe he's not so bad after all.

By the way, Laguna Beach bites this season. I did like seeing Annoying Beth get punched on The Challenge though.

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