« MetroDad's Top 10 Celebrity Encounters | Main | Text Messaging For Dummies »

September 07, 2006


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.


Your stats are probably pretty close to the truth--I'd say 80% pervs/losers/AmberVision glasses wearers, 15% plain losers who still live at home with their parents (a la Will Ferrell's character in The Wedding Crashers), and 5% To Catch A Predator talent scouts.


This post reminded me of something I wanted to point out in your entry on children awhile back, in which you said:

"But as I look around at couples with multiple kids, I realize that even things like names become less and less important. With the first child, it's always, "Oh, Sweetie! You were named after my favorite relative, Grandma Eden, who lovingly raised me when I was a young child. I'll always have a special place in my heart for her and, when I look at you, I see her beautiful soul shining brightly inside of you."

By the 4th kid, it's like, "Your name? You were named after a fucking sandwich. Now, go get your brothers and sisters, Reuben!"

I don't know if you realize this, but that line is lifted from a Jim Gaffigan bit:

"People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."

Not that what Claudia's doing is anything REMOTELY close to that. I can't believe people are so pathetic they need to troll other people's sites and created their own demented, sad little quasi-world for themselves.

Anyway, I'm a fan of your writing, so don't think I'm ragging on you; I just happened to read your post and think, "Holy Crap! That's Jim Gaffigan's bit!"

Unless you happen to BE Jim Gaffigan, in which case I humbly apologize. :)

If you haven't heard his stuff, I suggest giving him a listen. He's great.


I fucking hate MySpace. Thank you for articulating the precise reasons why.


Dude, that's wack! I can't believe that someone would have the balls - or lack thereof apparently - to plagiarise you.

Anyhoo, I'm with you on the MySpace rant - mostly. I set a profile just for grins to see if I could find anyone I knew or went to high school with (I'm 24, young and single, so blah ... ) and amazingly enough, I actually did find a couple of really good friends by the true definition. We've managed to keep in touch and it's been super fantastic being able to reconnect. However, with regards to dating? Hell no. No. No. No.

I'm still amazed at the plagiarism. And dooce too? Wow. What a flaming idiot.


zygote daddy

I thought I was way too old for myspace, and I'm 26...


Hey Shauna...I had no idea that line was from Jim Gaffigan. I don't even know who Jim Gaffigan is. I heard someone at a bar use that line and I thought it was genius. Credit where credit is due. I'll certainly attribute that to Mr. Gaffigan and I apologize to him for stealing a great line.

I Hate MySpace

I totally agree with you about MySpace. Especially the part about "friends." I've heard some people have over a million friends! Wonder how many of them will be there when times are tough!


No worries, MetroDad. I knew you weren't purposely ripping him off.

You should definitely give Jim a listen. FYI: he's in those Sierra Mist commercials (the pale, blond guy). His act is great.


My first encounter with MySpace was last spring when our new neighbors moved in next door and the mother said to me one day, "Our daughter really likes it here in Idaho, and she's made so many friends through her MySpace page."

Red flags went up in my mind, if not in hers, as I was at least familiar with what goes on at MySpace. So I checked out their 15-year-old daughter's page to discover she'd posted risque pictures of herself, complete with that omnipresent cleavage you mentioned. Well no wonder she's made so many friends!

And these "friends" she was making? All over 18, some of them in their early 20's. Not only were they slobbering all over her MySpace page, but they also found out where she lives and started driving by at all hours of the day and night.

The end of the story is that these clueless parents had to go out of town for a week and they left their 15-year-old daughter ALONE, trusting that she would do nothing but go to school and come home. Nope, instead she invited all of her MySpace friends over, and they invited their MySpace friends over, and pretty soon there was a week-long drunken orgy going on over there.

When the parents got home and found out about what happened, they grew backbones and laid down the law. Her MySpace page disappeared, her "friends" were banished, and I think she is now a little more grown-up than before.

MySpace is bad news.


I work in HR for a large corporation and lately we've been checking to see if any potential job applicants have pages on MySpace. While it's not an automatic red flag just to have a MySpace page, I will say that we have rejected several people because of the content they chose to put up on those pages. We did not feel they would be good representatives of the company.


Well Said!!

First of all, that girl plagiarizing - I don't know what goes through these people's minds- do you know how common this is in today's kids? There's something seriously wrong with this.

As for MySpace - It's a cesspool.


MySpace is everything that's wrong with America. I fear for our future.


I'm a myspace hater too, unfortunately, all my little cousins are on it. It also forced me to create a profile when I wanted to place a comment on my friend's blog, (damn him for setting up shop on myspace) and for some reason on my profile it says "I don't want kids" when I didn't enter anything. Weird.

That said, the fact that someone lifted stuff from your blog made me think about copyrights and whether or not one can really enforce them as a small time blogger. The kid in Las Vegas is a pathetic idiot for sure, but really, what control do we have? There was a column in Newsweek back in May that posed this question. Interesting times we live in when our words may or may not belong to us and even more interesting will be what comes out of them.


I'm a fairly recent college grad, but I missed the MySpace/Facebook craze somehow. I think I'm part of the target demographic, but I just don't enjoy it. I'm totally with you, MD, for all the reasons you stated, with the small addition that I hate it when people's pages automatically blast music at you. And what's this pretense of "networking"? Who does that? It's so annoying when (actual real-life) friends ask me, "When are you finally getting on MySpace?" as if it were the same as asking, "When are you going to give in to gravity?" Bah.

Anyway, did you ever take action - whatever that might look like - against this MySpace girl?


Hi MD,
I just wanted to thank you for the introduction to Amalah. Very good stuff!

That MySpace girl will get busted soon, if not now, then College. I used to teach at a College and we could upload student papers into a website that would check for plagiarism. You'd be SHOCKED by how often we would discover those little cheaters. BUSTED!


New to this country I don't understand the obsession that people have with myspace.
I think that instead of connecting people for the love of music it became a beehive for sex partners/jokes and more irrelevant stuff that in the "real world" would never be considered as a social network - MD - KICK THEIR ASS -it's no different then any other identity fraud case


Wow, I had no idea about that proprietary rights in content policy on MySpace. How can any band put music up on the site then? Doesn't the policy mean that the rights to those songs now belong to MySpace? As someone who works in the music industry, I've never heard of this before. Thanks for the tip, MD!


I mean, I know you're married and all, but is it okay for me to admit I just developed a HUGE CRUSH ON YOU?

I have ranted about MySpace on my blog at length, and I just don't get why anyone who ISN'T a teenager would subject themselves to the nightmarish page designs and Friendster-on-meth hookups.

SO well put, my fellow hater. SO well put.

mr nice guy

personally, i thought this whole plagiarism thing was freakin' hilarious. i suspect "Claudia" has a real name and it's "Doris Kearns Goodwin."

regarding myspace: some kid i work with made me get a myspace page while i was on leave. she even set it up for me and assigned me a password (r3tard ... because i command respect).

anyway i was on the site for like a day and i was amazed at how useless it is. i have very savvy friends who are totally hooked on it. but me? i am not trying to get laid (i have craigslist's casual encounters for that) and i don't have a band. at least a band that isn't imaginary and TOTALLY awesome. so what's the point, myspace?

anyway ... any of you ladies up for some NSA action?


Rupert Murdoch owns MySpace, so even if I were half my age I'd boycott it on general principles.

metro mama

A dangerous place, MySpace, for the young and naive.

Cakes isn't getting unaccompanied internet access until she's 25!


MySpace *is* a cesspool, and I was disturbed to come home one night and find my babysitters MySpace page still loaded on my computer. She does have my permission to go on-line (she's 24), but my first reaction when I saw the browser window with "MySpace" on it was OH NO! Please let there not be half-naked pictures on here! YUCK! Then, yes, I *did* read through her page, since it is open to the public. Thankfully, it is actually one of the tamer pages I've ever seen, mostly keeping in touch with friends who have moved around the country, etc., and so I felt fine about it and didn't have to go apeshit and find a new babysitter.

Everyone has heard about the sexual predators who troll through the site, but nobody is thinking through the implications for their future job prospects or future relationships. I loved reading the comments from people who actually HAVE looked up students or job applicants - when will people learn?


I'm 25 years old and while most of my peers have a myspace page, my close friends and I don't "get" it either. Most people seem to be using the site to either hook up randomly with strangers or to fill some sort of other strange void in their life. Trust me. There's a lot of us "younger" people who think MySpace sucks also.


Like RA, I'm probably part of their target demographic, and most of my friends have myspace pages. But I just don't like the idea of having to sign in and put in a password just to see someone's personal site.

When I was in high school, it was all about AIM and AOL chat rooms, then it was xangas, and now I guess it's myspace.

Anyway, it's pretty pathetic that someone had to pose other people's writing for their own. Is their life that sad?


do you know how bad I wanted to send you a myspace friend invite just now? sooooo bad

It is a frightening place in there. I'm Bob Dylan's friend! In my job every one wants to know how to use myspace their products, and half the time I want to say "dress it up in g-strings and slutty make-up and you're in"

By the way, I'm CroutonBoy! Check out my profile if you want to get wildz and crazeeeee


I will admit that, shamefully, I have a Myspace page. The only reason is for the music info, even though I'm getting tired of strange bands asking to be my friend. I do have some friends listed, but they are all actually people I know, or bands I listen to routinely....And they are all adults.

I might actually be the one non-perv between the ages of 30-34 who has a page. But after reading this, maybe I'll cancel -- Metrodad, you're such a positive influence!


Amen, MD! I basically feel the same way about MySpace... just the other day I had to explain to my very conservative Mother what exactly it was. That was a treat, let me tell you!

(How's the diet going? Still no scotch?)

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

It looks like they finally deleted the little thief.


I LOVED THIS RANT, MD! I've hated MySpace for so long but have never been able to articulate my hatred for it as well as you have here. Amen! Death to MySpace!


It looks like your plagiarizing buddy has taken down her page, or it was taken down for her. How pathetic. As a teacher I have to deal with the plagiarim issue more than I'd like to, and it is always sad. I generally 'preach' against MySpace, too, but I do have a page there because my former students asked me to as it is 'their' way of keeping in touch. You won't see me there in a bikini, though. I have too much respect for the feng shui of the universe. I still give my students the "MySpace can ruin your life" speech every semester, though.

Moderation. It's not just for drinking any more.

Oh MAN, I love your blog.


to be fair, I think the kind of myspace your talking about is a particular kind of person..I have a myspace page as well as most of my friends..but I would never ever post half naked or naked pictures of myself, I dont give out personal details, all my friends are people I genuinely know and just having left school this year I think its a great way to keep in touch with people and none of my friends are those kind of people either, I think if your parents teach you about this kind of stuff and you're sensible then theres no problem with it..those kind of people that post half naked pictures of themselves and what not just lack common sense in my mind. Not all teenagers are like that! Although I do agree that older people tend to look a bit weird on there..I think its hard not to come off looking like a pervert at that age!
I've never posted a comment on here before but I think your blog is hilarious!


MD, Have I told you lately, that I think we are long lost twins? I love to rant about MySpace and you couldn't pay me to join it. This post cracked me up. What I really want to know though, is did it pain you physically to type the sentence "get wildz and crazeeee!"?


I have only been vaguely aware of MySpace, and don't think I've ever even checked it out - and this post has done nothing to intrigue me. But I have been plagiarising your material for a while now, just not in writing. Why just the other day, I was telling the guys at work the story about how I met Kevin Costner in the men's room of a Colorado bar...

Seriously though, there is just no excuse for that biatch from passing your stuff off as her own, though - that's just foul. Karma will be paid...

I thought the comments about your inadvertent use of Jim Gaffigan's material (and I've never heard of him, either) were most interesting; many times I've thought up a funny gag or a story, only to see some comedian use the same thing (or I read it in a book, or see it on TV or in a movie, etc), and I think "did I steal that? I thought I had made it up!". I think there is probably nothing new under the sun, and any truly original thought I might have has probably been thunk already millions of times before.

Wendy Boucher

I have spent all of two seconds on myspace. It's as awful as your rant is right on.


wHy U goTta HaTeZ sO mUcH? JuS cuZ uR oLd? nO1 wOulD wAnT 2 HooK uP wiChu oLd KorEanZ Azz aNywAys. YoU shOulD gO BaK 2 DrInKn sCotCh cUz yOu iS oLd.



Mrs. Davis

My Space sounds awful. I'm more familiar with Facebook (an academic version of My Space perhaps?) because my husband is a prof. And yes, he's on Facebook. Ick.

Great post on this. I read about this nutjob "Claudia" on Amalah yesterday.


I don't get MySpace either. But I'm out of the loop on most things.

But I do check out bands' pages there.

Queen of Ass

MySpace scares me.

samantha jo campen

Just a few things:

Claudia is a dirty dirty whore. NOTHING causes me chest pains like plagiarism. I was an English major and had to deal with fellow class mates pulling that shit when I busted my ass.

I think you automatically get an STD if you type MySpace in the browser window, no?

Catcher's mit? Spit out my TJ's Pirates Booty. Freakin' hilarious. Now I'm off to use that on my blog. Hope you don't mind.


Hey MD - U R Kool! Ur my friend 2, k? UR TOATS AWESOME Ps Im sending U pics of my ass.



I cannot stop laughing at the thought of a single, childless woman ripping-off parenting blogs. Are "personal blogs" so uninteresting that there is no worthy fodder there?

I don't get MySpace. I hate the cluttery pages and the crappy Evanescense songs that blare out your computer speakers the second you click on a page. But even more than that, I don't get that woman that is a celebrity just because she has a million MySpace "friends."

MySpace is weak.


This is quite possibly the single greatest rant about MySpace that I've ever heard. Thanks, MD! I loved this post!


Killin' me--again. Always like that last paragraph. The MD kicker...


Well, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery--maybe she just reaaalllly likes you. In a Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female-kinda way.

I think myspace is social darwinism for the 21st century. Last week, I was on wonkette, and they had someone's campaign staffer's myspace page where he was pictured with a bong. In my day, political interns didn't allow themselves to be photographed in such compromising positions!


I read mr. niceguy's post yesterday about this and I couldn't believe it but you too?! Well, you got to be a little bit flattered. Claudia, aka the "invalid", has taste in ripping off good stuff at least!


just thought I'd say hi ... I popped over here from Amalah's blog. You're hilarious. Glad I found you, even if it took Claudia to bring us all together. I love your comments on MySpace.


This information, and your take on it, took my breath away. As I think you know, I have "older" kids (which makes me older but this isn't about that). My 14 year old son is now banned from the computer unless it is school related. He did nothing intentional except go to MySpace, which proceeds to be a portal for a million, zillion, kabillion, spyware and adware anomolies. I kept up with his MySpace and it was fine - with stupid notes from benign real life friends - but it's done. When the computer taps you on the shoulder and says that 412 pornographic pop-ups have linked through various sites --- and the computer gurus find out that your kid only goes to MySpace and MLB dot come --- you know what happens next. NoSpace. UGH. What ever happened to just watching inappropriate television. Ah, the good old days.


Oh god. Myspace is the end of civilization, and people are just eating it up.
I feel like an old fogey saying that, but it's true.
Since when did sexy mean slutty?


I scared the crap out of my young staff when i mentioned to them that I visited their myspace pages.

The looks that they shot each other was priceless. Then I went on my own rant about Myspace and told them that future employers would be checking those things out.

I'm not sure if I converted any but it was fun messing with them.

Driver B

I'm morally opposed to MySpace, and I'm a youngster too (26). I signed up for an account (with a fake name though) so I could look at my 14-year-old brother's blog. He's smart enough to keep his security setting super high, thank goodness. But you know what's worse than all the creepy weirdos and cluttered page designs? The site performance! I don't know how that thing is so frickin' popular when 75% of the time there is a page error, and the rest of the time it's as slow as mud.

I'll never forget the time that I proofed a friend's paper in college, and I realized she had straight up lifted a bunch of material from the website for a film I had watched in another class. I definitely looked at her differently after that.

The comments to this entry are closed.

I also blog at...

Bookmark and Share

September 2017

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Blog powered by Typepad