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August 21, 2006


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My blog is, at times, the hated mistress so I sometimes have to balance my urge to write something and my urge to sleep in my own bed.

My wife also demands editing ability when I mention her which is often too much trouble (because she gets embarrassed over little things like the kids finding the vibrator). So, I don't write much about her.

In a nutshell, she's the pragmatic one and I'm the dreamer. We balance each other out but it's not great blogging material.


Oh, and I don't think I would ever get away with writing about my spuse the way MIM writes about her husband.

the mad momma

yup..my spouse knows i blog... but he doesnt really read it religiously because invariably we've already spoken about it the night before. i usually blog about something playing on my mind and even before that I end up talking to him about it as we fall asleep.
nothing is a secret.. its more that his professional life keeps him so busy he looks on my blogging as a luxury. i do wish he would blog...
and finally... he actually joked to his friends the other day that i am an avid reader of some guy called the Metrodad but fortunately he is far away in the US so he isnt worried about me running off with him. for now I just insist he reads the odd post of yours that i feel strongly about.


I think women's blogs tend to be very much about their emotional states while men's blogs are more external. As a chick, I actually get tired of all the naval gazing that we women participate in.

Here's something I wish I had thought of; a joint blog! check out http://byrneunit.com/briantology/ this husband and wife take turns posting. It's refreshing in it's dual point of view and it's steadfastly NOT about parenting or marriage. Although, I'm sure they reserve the right to discuss poop, it's NOT limited to it.


We have solved this dilemma by starting a blog together. That way we can air our dirty laundry and have a chance to defend ourselves all on the same blog :)

Mama Nabi

(Hm, this suspicious mind wonders if Metrodad is taking a survey for a research of some kind... would make a great editorial on blogging behaviors.)
Well, PN knows about the blogs I read (because I tell him about them) but not the mamanabi blog. He's not too interested in the whole blog phenomenon - and the reason I keep my blog a secret from PN is so that I don't censor myself... especially when I'm "airing dirty laundry" about the in-laws. He does know about how I feel about them - but would be uncomfortable to know that I discuss those feelings with friends, let alone strangers on the internet! I do try not to bitch about PN on the blog because I should be talking to him about things he does that annoy me... otherwise, he'd keep doing them and I'd be constantly annoyed. :-) And yes, he knows about THE Metrodad whose Peanut is prone to eating out of a dog bowl. He's a bit disturbed that I tend to have similar sense of humor and has banned me from trying to feed LN from our cat bowls.


My husband, Big D, knows about the blog, reads it, has written a guest entry once, calls my blogger friends "your imaginary friends," and asks me to keep comments about him fairly neutral as apparently he told everyone at his office about my blog and now they're all reading it. Sucker! (My husband, for not realizing that I don't have a neutral bone in my body, not the readers. The readers from his office of course are brilliantly tasteful and classy people!)


Great points. My husband totally supports my 'Blogging Habit'. He thinks it calms me down when I blog. And when I'm calm...everyone is calm. He reads it almost every day but never comments. I wonder why? I'll hafta ask him. I tell him all about the bolgs I visit and I actually told him about yours because you are a fellow NYer and a dad and I think he would enjoy your points of view.

I only have wonderful things to say about my hubby anyway. And if I didn't I would never put him down like that because that's private stuff and nobody's business..

So, my blog is hardly the 'mistress' of the family becasue she helps me out when I am stressed...


i write about my man often.. he's a welder, but i don't think i've ever written about his job in my blog before. he has his own blog AND he knows that i blog and read blogs, etc. everyone i know knows i have a blog. i'm an internet whore. lol


I talk about my husband quite frequently. He also reads my blog, but rarely [if ever] comments. I also talk about my blog friends like I talk about my other friends.

I'm with you on the spouse smack. I try to never vent about my husband on my blog. Because in the time it would take me to write a post I'd probably be over it anyway and I'd feel like such a heel for calling him out to the world on the internet.

tennis coach

I blog sometimes and I vent about my live-in bf. We went through a rough spot while living with his parents where I was totally miserable and this allowed me to vent about him and his family instead of telling them and hurting their feelings. They don't know about the blog and my bf rarely reads. And I do not use names.

British Mummy

My husband's just pleased I discovered something to do on the computer other than look at reusable nappies (bit obsessed, with nappies, sorry diapers) just just so long as american daddy doesn't want to use the computer himself that is.

metro mama

I promised my hubby I would never talk shit about him on the blog. He reads every post and others I direct him to. He keeps promising to guest blog on my site but has yet to step up to the plate!


When I first started the blog I insisted my husband read it. I asked him what nickname he wanted. He was the one who suggested Jrex (as in J-The King).

I would tend to be someone who would write alot about my spouse, but he HATES it when I write about him. Early on we had significant conflict (i.e. long discussions) when I wrote about him. He asked me to never write about him again. I countered with could at least mention him occasionally but avoid posts focused on him, our discussions or our conflicts? He agreed to that.

The discussion touched on why artists need a form of public expression. Why is it necessary? Why do they have to drag their families into it? We analyzed public people versus private people and the respective merits and flaws of each. Is it worse if you're a public person forced to 'keep a secret' or a private person 'outed' by the public one? In the interest of being able to keep writing, I opted to lay aside my need to 'tell all'. (and why is that a 'need' anyway?)


I just started my blog, so not much in it yet.

And I have only read a few (this being my first stop here).

However, I do not think my husband would have a problem with me reading a blog by a male. And he does know about my blog, he found it the other day (I was waiting until I got a bit more on it before i showed it to him).


I don't know about others, but I just don't say much about my husband. Of course he is mentioned, but I don't have an agenda with my blog so it isn't real purposeful that he is or isn't in it.

My husband knows I blog but only reads it sometimes. He is very busy and up until recently didn't have internet access at work.

My husband is treated to all sorts of stories from the blogosphere and knows my faves by their blog names.

He is jealous of any mention of male bloggers that I read or exchange any comments with, so I minimize those stories.


I don't write about Tim because I did once (rather unflattering although I found the whole scenario quite humorous) and he was PISSED. He threatened to start a blog about all of the BS I do, and followed that by announcing loudly in public whenever I disagreed with him, "Why don't you just PUT IT ON YOUR BLOG if you don't like it." It ended there.

2. Yes, he knows about mine but rarely reads it, along with the rest of the people out there.

3. He knows about most of them, but not all. Mostly from disinterest. Unless he hears I was featured on one, which is about once a month. Surprising for someone with barely any traffic to speak of. But I do have some famous blogger buddies out in NY who mention me.

4. I think he couldn't care less, but he occasionally gives me some crap if they're guys, which makes no sense because all of the male blogs I read are daddy blogs.

5. See #4.

6. See #4.

the weirdgirl

Keen reads my blog every day (or every time I post). I've tried to get him to read some of the other blogs but he hasn't; though I do blather on to him about the antics of my blogging buddies. I don't think he minds at all about the blogs I read, either about the opposite sex or the amount of time (except for when he wants to go somewhere and I'm online). Overall, he's been very supportive and I think he has more respect now for my desire to write (- even if I don't consider the blog the "serious" writing, it's the first stuff he's really read. He always declined invitations to read my poetry. LOL).

I guess I don't blog much about my husband because there hasn't been a lot of good material there. (We're really terribly boring you now.) I also feel the same way you do about not airing dirty laundry on my blog, and really, the fights are the only interesting things going on. However, none of my family or in-laws know about my blog so I can write about them with impunity when they piss me off. Plus, they are much more crazy than either Keen or I. (Trust me, I've been holding back.)

Mr. Big Dubya

Mrs. Big Dubya knows about my blog pursuits. She has my personal and DadCentric listed on her own. I talk about the humorous things that happen between us or with Lil Dub, but the more personal things remain off the table. But, she has no problem pointing out when I've been a jack ass and I'm fine with that - I chalk it all up to "It's a guy thing."

And, yes, she knows about most of the blogs I read on a fairly regular basis and also knows that a significant portion of my readers are women - it must be because of my sensitive side. As far as I know, she has no problems with that at all.

Other family members? Other than Aunt P, no one, as far as I know, knows that I have a blog or contribute to others. Though I have never thrown anyone under the bus (yet), I want to reserve the right to be able to do so if it's warranted.


I came across your blog a few months ago through mom 101. I'm a psychologist and recently read an article published in the most recent issue of Psychological Science: "How do I love thee? Let me count the words. The social effects of expressive writing." (Slatcher and Pennebaker) People were randomized into one of two groups. One member of a dating couple either wrote about (a) his/her deepest thoughts and feelings about the relationship for 3 consecutive days or (b) his/her daily activities. Even from this brief "intervention," people who wrote about their relationship were more likely be still be dating their partners 3 months later. What they wrote about their relationships didn't have to be positive. But unsurprisingly, the more positive emotion words they used in the writing partially (but not totally)accounted for the relationship stablility over 3 months.

Pretty neat.

Doesn't answer whether or not to air dirty laundry in a public forum, but does suggest that those bloggers who do so, may actually be benefitting their relationship in some way.


I talk about my man all the time, and he always reads my blog, and a lot of my internet friend's blogs, and comments all the time on all of them, AND has a blog of his own www.cannonballers.blogspot.com if your ever interested.


Why is it rare that so few bloggers seem to write about their spouses?

I'm not sure. I've never thought about it. One reason could be that blogs are such a reflection of the person writing them that people want to share their own views/perspectives.

Are some of your spouses even aware that you have a blog?


Do your spouses know about the blogs that you visit regularly?

Yes. J. loves your blog!

Do they know about your blog friends or do you keep it a secret?

He knows all.

Do they know that some of these blogs are written by members of the opposite sex?

Yes. It's not a problem.

Would they care at all about it if they did know?

Nope. We're both very secure/grounded in our relationship and always have been.


Woohoo! My first comment ever on this blog. (Which is one of those metablogging special moments.)

My husband not only knows about my blog but is my number one fan. He reads all of my posts usually right after I have posted. He never comments. I've pulled him to some of the other blogs I like, but he's never been to into any one. They are never as good (how I could not marry him???).

I agree with not airing dirty laundry. It's not healthy for the relationship.

And while I really love your duck analogy, I have to say that my marriage is more like a floating lounge chair...took some blowing to set-up (establishing clear communication channels and really knowing how the other perceives the world) and now glides fairly effortlessly with the occasional hand-paddle.


I'm answering in Speckblog as we speak. Or, as I speak. You're probably off NAPPING or something.


Well, I guess I dont write about Monkey Boy because thats his stuff. I figure if he wanted the world to know that information about himself he's start his own blog.

He does read my blog. He sometimes gets really upset if I write deep and meaningful stuff there first without having discussed it with him, not because he doesnt want me writing it but because he sees it as me not being able to talkt to him about it. Not true though, I just use the blogging as a way of working out how I actually feel about stuff. Write it down, and THEN I can talk about it.

He knows all the blogs I read, knows about my internet homies and has even chatted to a few of them.

As for airing dirty laundry, I just dont feel its appropriate since some of my RL friends read my blog. If I want to bitch about Monkey Boy I'll do it to his face. Or my therapist.

I will occasionally say nice things about him though.


Just wanted to say I love the duck analogy!!


I just found this post today AFTER posting about my husband (and about the rarity of such posts, both on my blog and elsewhere). Why don't people post about their spouse? Because it's friggin' HARD. First of all, there's that teeny little tightrope to walk between bragging about your perfect marriage and airing out your dirty laundry. It's surprisingly difficult to avoid sounding either fake or bitter.

The other thing I found is that it's extremely difficult to portray one's spouse as a person - it involves stepping back from the nitty-gritty of the relationship and actually thinking about WHO this person is I'm married to. I can see where Rose is coming from when she says that writing about the relationship actually improves it (and writing about one's husband is even harder than writing about one's marriage, I've discovered).


This is my first time here (I don't know how it took me this long, though). Anyway, my husband knows I blog and is definitely my biggest fan...unless any of my other three readers want to fight him for that title ;) Anyway, I think I mention him pretty frequently, as he is one of my biggest sources of bloggable material. Though I don't air much dirty laundry on my blog, I am shameless in my comments on others' blogs when the subject of sex is brought up. I should probably make an effort to be a little more magnanimous toward my husband when depicting him in comments across the blogosphere. And in real life. And to his face. Hey, at least I don't complain to his mother.

Wendy Boucher

Hubby reads my blog on a regular basis. He doesn't comment nor does he have a blog of his own. But knowing that he and his family and my family all read my blog, I tend to steer clear of family talk other than the benign. There's not usually anything incendiary to say anyway. We're pretty sappily happy.


My wife encourages me to blog. She reads my blog each day, and I'm grateful. In fact, I'm super grateful since I think she's the only one who reads my blog.


My husband knows about my blogging and some of my blog friends.. he knows it's a great way for me to connect cause Im a house wife.. He even makes sure he give me time to just read my blogs and comment and takes care of the kiddies needs sometimes.. isn't that sweet;).. I don't talk about him much cause at first i wasn't sure if he'd mind.. but he dosn't so I have been a little bit more.. in fact this week, I am dedicating a series of post on how we met and got married as it's our anniversry next weekend... I enjoy your blog though I rarely comment;)


My boyfriend is a scriptwriter and not that king on blogging. As a consequence, he is my toughest critic rather than my first fan, I have to say!!! Nevertheless, I convinced him on script/blogging! Yeah, why not?? ;)!


I'm with you - I would never air my marital woes on my blog, since a lot of Rigel's friends read it. And his co-workers. And his boss. And his boss' wife. And some of their clients. *gulp*

In fact, Rigel always says he's thankful for how good I make him sound, and I told him he can continue to get good reviews as long as he behaves himself. Then he handed over his credit card.


Well, I'm not going to read through all the comments as it's late... maybe someone has already written this, but the reason I don't write about my wife on my blog is because she asked me not to. I have never mentioned her job, where she works, even anything related to what she does. At least I think I haven't. This goes along with my policy of semi-anonymity, which includes no recent close-ups and hazy details about our upcoming activities.

Urban Wanderer

Let's see - she knows about it (how was I supposed to ensure I had a regular reader unless I made her do it...) and as a result, she has the right to censor anything she chooses. She's also good at correcting all my grammatical errors.

But I wouldn't dream of writing about any marital issues - too many people who we know but wouldn't tell about our relationship read it.


Are you kidding? I WISH my husband would blog. He's hysterical, quick and an excellent writer. But he's too cool for it. Meanwhile, I trudge along for five years, dragging my readership through boring piles of shit. But he does tease me that I'm going to run off with a few bloggers I mention with ridiculous regularity. After all - I was a blogger before I was a wife.


My wife knows I have a blog and that it's about how we try to figure out how to be good parents but just make it up as we go along, and she doesn't seem to care. I don't even think she reads it, which is troubling on another level, I suppose. I tend to be more of a debater and ponderer than she, so the blog is sort of my way of trying to make sense of my own feelings on things. So in that sense, I guess it's not surprising that she doesn't seem to care. Or, she may have me bookmarked and read everything without letting on...it's sort of unspoken. But she knows I'd never disrespect her through the blog.


I mention honey every now and then, but I just don't want to air the whole relationship for the world to see. Besides I have too many other interests to talk about!

He knows about my blog, and the ones I read, but he isn't into reading blogs - he's more of a gamer when he gets to stop working for a few minutes.


Hey I know your cray busy lately and this post is like over a month old...which is why I don't feel like I'm pimping the site, cause really who's gonna read this comment but you at this point....anyway...

I started a new site - www.dadsaidmomsaid.blogspot.com where couples blog. And one of your favorties in blogging with us. Melissa from Issa's World and her husband Nick. Jennster (not sure if you read her) is on there too.

Come by and check it out if you want...no pressure, just an FYI. =o)


my dad started a blog b/c he was proud of his family and wanted to share our photos, stories and his own thoughts with the world.

well, one thing led to another and he eventually left my mom and three kids for a much younger woman he got to know through the blogosphere. this post reminded me of my family woes, ha.

that being said, i love this blog. came by today for the first time and am thoroughly enjoying myself. keep it up.

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