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August 08, 2006


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My pet peeve, is counting months instead of years. After the 1st birthday it annoys me, but after the second birthday it is just plain wrong.

Also, do you know that NOW (THE feminists) oppose Shared Parenting? Do you know the laws of your state? Guess how much time you would see the Peanut if you got divorced?

Self-Righteous Japanese Schoolgirl

MD, you are, ohmygod, so incredibly, like, youknow, old? Like the cryptkeeper? Incessantly texting annoying acronyms is, like, what young, cool hip people do? Which you obviously, you know, are not? But UR VRY fune NEway.


Great post! I am right with you on the needless abbreviations. If you like House, I also recommend Rescue Me and The CLoser. Just as a note on House, my sister-in-law is a nursing student, and says that one of her instructors watches every episode looking for mistakes in their medicine; she hasn't found any yet.

Keep a stiff upper lip with the toddler years. Our 21 month old son is well into it too. Just remember that it is really only a year or two of your life, and then you get a nice grace period until the teenage years. Yeah.

heather p.

"But you can't wear jappy clothes, my mommy said your not Jewish".

-- Jennifer V. said to me in 2nd grade at Elizabeth Morrow School

That's all I could think of when that mom corrected her daughter's sushi naivte!!

WWYTYKFFS! watch what you teach your kids for f*ck's sake! Seriously, I don't even bother reading the anacronyms anymore. It's like this generation's text ebonics.

Careful with the little condom pocket that sits closer to your zipper, inside the bigger pant pocket-- that tends to collect all kinds of hazardous kiddie waste


You must be far more confident in your writing skills than I, for I would have taken each of these brilliant, laugh out loud, sharp little posts and spread them out over the course of a week. But MD? Nahhhhh... just plop them all down at once and call it a day.

I love that she's got the Al Bundy move down. The image in my head is priceless.


The titles of your subject headings are hilarious and had LOL (sorry!)


"Where else but on the internet can you find a website that..."

I admit that one almost sailed right over my head. YGBQTKUWMD (you gotta be quick to keep up with MetroDad)


Good luck with the terrible twos! Now that my kids are older, I can laugh about that horrible, horrible time in our lives. Just remember one thing...DON'T GIVE INTO HER!


Do you think bigger kids give them toddler trade secrets? You know, maybe at the park? (Psst...dude. Lose your shit at Target and you'll get whatever you want. trust me on this. When they try to pick you up, go all noodle-boy. Trust me.) My second question: Did you ever think you would be THAT GUY dragging his melting kid through the store? Hissing in her ear while smiling uncomfortably at passers-by?


Moon Pies are great. Aren't they one of the food groups now?


the terrible twos have recently started at my house as well. i feel for you there metrodad.


If you like "House", give "Monk" a try. I never watched either one of them before last month and I'm loving both of them.


I woke up this morning and started "kissing the bandit." Then at lunch, I started "conjuring the yogurt." Later, I think I'll "pillage the yam." Somebody help me! I can't stop playing with the euphemism generator!!!

Papa Bradstein

Why is it that the Californians must always use "dude" in their comments?

I offer that observation in lieu of my witty retort that I'm not bothering with, since I came late to the party and everyone's already said lots of things.

And yes, for the record, my witty snippet did include the word "dude."


Mama Nabi

Terrible Twos... I shudder to think about that.

Do you suppose your parents would like to feed me for a few days?


The terrible twos are rough, MD. Good luck to you and the BossLady. May the force be with you!


Okay... 66 previous commenters and I'm feeling a hesitant to join the crowd. Not because I'm too wonderful or anything but I kind of feel like the little sister tapping on the shoulder of big brother when he is with his friends. But here goes... Heard the name MetroDad around the blogverse but linked over today after reading your comment at Home on the Fringe. Long introduction. Sorry, but I promise no acronyms!

Saying "uh-oh" with the briefcase thing caused me to laugh out loud (see no acronym). My son always wants to know what's funny but is a 14 year old going to appreciate that? Probably not. It reminded me of my propensity to announce to a room that I had to go pee-pee around the time my son was potty training.

The whole post was a riot. Thanks for the laughs.

Sara W.

Ya know, MD...one of the reasons I love coming over here is because I love getting the male's perspective on parenthood. Although you're clearly an "involved" parent, you say shit that I don't think you'd hear many moms say. Thanks for giving this old mom a good and hearty laugh. I needed it.


LMFAO, MD. Live with it...
Now back to "whackin' the wiseguy".

metro mama

I invited people over last night--luckily, I noticed in time that I had avocado on my boob.

I love House.


Thanks for a giving me a great laugh to start out my day. My coworkers are looking at me funny because I think I may have even snorted at one point! You're a really talented writer, MD. Have a great weekend.

Liz P.

I can't stand reality television and am so glad you wrote this post. Every time I flip the channels and come across a areality show, I just want to puke. I think to myself, who watches these things? Then, I get to my office the next day and I realize that EVERYBODY is watching them. Good Lord, no wonder we're all getting dumber!

As a few other people have mentioned, check out "Rescue Me" with Denis Leary. It's very well done and it's interesting to see a drama with such real and flawed characters.


Oh my god, I am so jealous that the Peanut will eat foods like that!! She needs to come over and train my kids, dammit.

I love how you're handling her tantrums. You rock. That's exactly what you need to be doing. Stay strong!


Oh my god, I am so jealous that the Peanut will eat foods like that!! She needs to come over and train my kids, dammit.

I love how you're handling her tantrums. You rock. That's exactly what you need to be doing. Stay strong!


Oh my god, I am so jealous that the Peanut will eat foods like that!! She needs to come over and train my kids, dammit.

I love how you're handling her tantrums. You rock. That's exactly what you need to be doing. Stay strong!


Uh. Oops. Sorry about that, MD.

Stupid computer.


House? Metro Dad, my image of you as uber-cool, all-knowing dude was just shattered. I would have thought you watched from the pilot, the one where Robin Tunney had worms. Seriously. House is God. Ok, fictional TV God, but still God.

Project Runway is not reality TV, it's in a class by itself.


Oh dang. Good luck with the terrible twos!
House is an awesome show. I don't watch too much tv, but I actually dl'ed the entire first season and watched each episode over three days.


Do you actually read the comments down this far?

I feel your pain on the terrible 2s, but as said before, just wait until she hits 3.

At this point I have to get my 3 year old boy in a headlock and hog-tie him before I can do the quick release car seat click. The whole time he is screaminging, head-butting me, biting any accessable body part of and spitting it in the street. He then laughs at me and spits my own blood in my face. At times he really is like a miny Mike Tyson on crack.

Yeah, the 3's are tough. Once the fangs come in it is much worse.

Liberal Banana

Ack! I'm so late on commenting on this post but I had to say something - it was awesome! I just love "random" posts...Especially well-written ones.

I really enjoy "House" as well but find that the formula is SO predictable. Someone has a mysterious illness, the hot young doctors make guesses as to what it is, House gives them a hard time, and then it gets figured out right before the end. Whenever they seem to have come to a conclusion halfway through the show, I think "Well that can't be it, there's 35 minutes left!"

Good luck with those terrible two things. They sound like tons of fun!


I can't believe you discovered our well-kept bitch secret. If House was real, he would totally be in love with me.

Driver B

TV is total crap during the summer, so we've been watching a lot of Netflix - but we also got totally, completely hooked on Veronica Mars. We watched the entire first season in a week. Definitely recommend it!


I ran across your site while googling "worst baby shower gift ever," or some variant thereof. You are seriously hilarious, and I want to mention that you were the best written google result for my query, and possibly the most informative.

Also, House is quite possibly the best show I've ever seen, and you should know that season 2 is out on DVD soon. (I am obsessed with the show enough that I sent Hugh Laurie a Christmas card last year.) Also, if you are in the mood for tech drama, I suggest Bones, also on Fox, I think on Wednesdays.

Merci for the afternoon's entertainment!

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