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August 08, 2006


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NO !&#@&#! WAY! I'm the first to comment?! It's always like 102 people before me like waiting at the deli and your number is 47, and they're serving #5 at the moment.

"House" reminds me of you in a way from your writing. You got to check out "Rescue Me" with Dennis Leary, and "It's Always Sunny In Philly" on FX. 2 great shows, I think. Hate those reality shows too. My mommy brain cells is diminishing after 3 kids, I don't need to lose whatever's left.

SYL (see ya later) ;-)


I wanted to leave a comment about your earlier Philip Roth-related post but I was too busy listening to my neurons die as I watched "Celebrity Shaving" while punching the munchkin. Mea culpa.


you're right. LOL is the worst. But. Can. We. Also. Stop. Talking. Like. This? I. Mean. How. Many. Periods. Does. One. Need. To! Appear! Emphatic! (no pun...aw geez)

JJ Daddy Baby Momma

After our annual February Trip to New York City to See Snow and The Grandparents, LMS's favorite phrase becomes "May I see the dessert menu please?"

Mr. Big Dubya

Ok - I'll offer some of what I'm watching on TV this summer of nothing on.

Saved with Tom Everett Scott on TNT.
Life on Mars on BBC America - a cop in London 2006 gets hit by a car and finds himself in London 1973 - pretty f'in cool.
The 4400 - sci-fi stuff on USA
The Dead Zone - Farmer Ted gots the Shinin' on USA.
Eureka - the country's geniuses living in a town run by the gummint on Sci-Fi - the sheriff is just a normal guy trying to adapt and solving mysteries.
Monk - Tony Shalhoub as a detective with astronomical OCD - simple mysteries - the fun lies in Monk's disorders

Hope this helps - not one reality TV p.o.s. (heh)

Yes, my TiVo does get a work out


House? You are watching HOUSE? Oh the humanity. My husband watches it too, and drives me insane.

My paid job is devising health care reform, and as a wonk it annoys me that the show makes it seem like a good idea to give an MRI to a brain dead woman and other high cost, low yield services. Every time that program airs the chance for meaningful universal health care slips further from our grasp. Sigh.


Welcome to the terrible two's. Don't stay a while. Don't get comfortable. I admire you not giving into a tantrum. I also giggled that you actually sang "oh-no" at your clumsy co-worker. You rock.

Big Pumpkin

You are too funny!!! My husband of 5 years used to live in New York and we too, have a 22 month old baby girl. WYSIWYG - heard of that one? Haha...


I'd watch more TV too but I'm too busy "scuttling the one-eyed bunny" and "harvesting the Welsh raisin." Damn...I'm not going to get ANY work done today until I'm finished with all 245,829,668 of those euphemisms.


I love the Cheerio on the jacket. I am scared to tell you what all is in my purse. Toddlers put things everywhere, you never know what to expect.

I think you have the right idea on the battle of the wills. We do the same thing here. I don't want to have one of those kids who thinks they can get whatever they want by throwing a fit. I hate it when I see a 11 year old do it.

We have started watching Greys Anatomy this summer. Have you seen that one? I will have to TIVO House.


House...ah, isn't it just the best! The sarcasm abounds. My kinda show. Here we're working our way through the entire 24 seasons 1,2 and 3 that a friend bought for us. Bootlegged from China, they have subtities in every language, and we've tried them all. So for, Portugese is my favorite, but Japanese was good as well.

We just finished the whole second season of Curb your Enthusiasm. Funny and sarcastic. So true to LA, too. Oh, sorry... Los Angeles.

No abbreviations for you. Next!


I roared with laughter when I read about the hand down the diaper.

Welcome to my world, MD. The Munchkin is one of the most strong-willed girls I've ever known (she rountinely harasses kids twice her age, and I'm just waiting for her to get pushed back, but it never seems to happen). We can swap war stories later. Her snack food of choice at the moment is Cheetos Puffs, which I do NOT buy - her great-grandmother feeds them to her.

I got hooked on "What Not To Wear" this summer, and my husband is ready to kill me, because I keep saying how I need to update my wardrobe (which he sees as a cheap attempt to go shopping).


Pork rinds! My mom buys the hardcore ones from the Filipino store - you know, the ones with the big ole' hunk of fat still attached. She'll usually toast them, but once my littlest guy got a hold of one that hadn't yet been toasted and chipped his tooth on it. Thank God his dentist couldn't understand his little Tagalog/Korean accent when he kept telling him he broke his tooth on a "chicharron". He assumed he was saying "chicken bone", thank God! Ended up with a capped tooth. Lesson learned: buy the regular pork rinds from the supermarket!


Excellent post, and I was completely LOL, alone in my office b/c: 1) I am with ya on saying "uh-oh" in the sing-song voice at work, and the likes, 2) I too hate summer TV (the Closer is excellent "btw"), and 3) I am that text'er that annoys you!!!!! Brilliant writing, as always.


What is it with Koreans and beef jerky? My ex-BF (and his entire family) practically lived off the stuff! And pork rinds? Ugh...so gross, MD!

Just Linda

You win the award for the blog post that made me laugh the most today. And man, I needed it... I'm in the cycle of mid-year reviews (yes, I know it's August and well past mid-year) and I've done 6 out of 8 so far. 2 more to go. Keep me laughing, please.


We don't do a hand down the pants yet; right now she's only up to playing lazily around with things 'down there' while I'm trying to keep the crap off her hand long enough to change a diaper.

As for TV, two words: "Project Runway."


When the T2's start (aka Terrible Two's), I'm joining the circus.
I hear the monkeys drink beer, eat pork rinds and smoke. Like rednecks!


Thanks for the HUGE laugh. The other day my 5-year-old precious daughter was visiting my (adult) friend for the afternoon and they were having ice cream sundaes. She didn't like the chocolate sauce, I guess... my friend Kay reported later that my daughter said it "tasted like a crappy cup of coffee."

Kay had not seen "Elf" 2,000 times like we had, so I guess it didn't make sense and now she must think I am the worst parent ever.


Mmm, House. I am going to name my next son Hugh. (Thank you thank you thank you for hating reality tv as much as I do)


Three things I know my husband has experienced:

1. worn a RugRats band-aid at 30,000 feet while navigating a plane during the Gulf War.

2. Avoided an embarassing close call by stopping himself from sticking his finger in the mouth of a colleague who was yawning widely without covering up said mouth. (It's a family joke we have, but probably would not have translated well to "Captain sticking finger in mouth of Lt. Colone".

3. Been in a military briefing where the presenter, also a dad, asked if anyone in the group needed a "potty break".


I think you are the first person I've 'met' that has the same opinion of reality TV as I do. My TV viewing has decreased dramatically since my son was born, but I refuse to miss House or Grey's Anatomy, my two favourite shows on the air.

zygote daddy

Hey Dude, maybe you should ask Dutch if he has any spare Elmo band-aids lying around...


Terrible twos is a misnomer, wait until three that is when the fun really starts.


Weeds, on Showtime, with the HAWT Mary-Louise Parker. It's the kind.


Is it any surprise to you that my favorite part of this post was the Euphemism Generator?

I'm right with you on the abbreviations, though. I have no idea what's being said, and in the time it takes you to type the damn thing you could have just as easily called.

Her Bad Mother

Earlier this year I gave a public lecture with a giant gob of spit-up down my back. Which was a whole lot *less* embarassing than the fact that I burst into the chorus of the Banana Phone Song while reviewing notes at the lectern during the break.


Cheerio on your jacket? Heh. I once found an Oreo in my bra.


You totally have to love House. I have a wicked crush on him (the character, not Hugh Laurie). It's a bit sick how much I obsess over him (and yes, that pun WAS intended). There isn't a bad show. The rabies one was super cool too!

I laughed out loud at work when you said 'uh-oh' to your co-worker.

te he he.


The "uh'oh!" was classic. I have to admit that on more than one occasion I've told the guys at work, "I'll be right back. I have to use the potty."

The dads new what I was talking about.



Possum and moon pies? My favorite! We're right there with you on the tantrums. It sucks.


I think I'm actually having television withdrawl. Entourage is all that saves me.

Is it bad that I already have a schedule of new shows I want to try in the fall? Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The Nine. Heroes. Plus all of the shit I already watch.

I'm surprised I even leave the house.


Of course you might not want to hear this, but reality television saved House from an early death.

It was on the brink of cancellation until they put it on after American Idol and caught all the people too lazy to pick up the remote.

Well, at least they do good once in a blue moon.

zygote daddy



Sweet Pea, at age 4, is strong-willed, independent, smart, funny and stubborn. These are all things that will serve her well as an adult.

However, they make her a seriously pain-in-the-ass 4-year-old.


I dig these Chaos Theory stream of consciousness posts!

Re: acronyms (or txt spk), I totally agree. I hate them all, except for one: WTF? (what the fuck?). I use that in almost all my posts. :)


God, I love House and THANK YOU for being what seems like the only other person who doesn't want to talk about who danced/sang/ate bugs the best last week. Blech.

And yes, gotta love those hour-long walks that would take you ten minutes. It's all about the journey, my man, all about the journey.


You can walk around with a cane, just stay away from the opiates. It's worse than beef jerky.


GR8 post MD! ;P

When I was in high school, everyone had a pager and you had to text all your friends a gazillion times a day or else you were just...well, not cool, like, you know? So all the little acronyms? Totally necessary.

I've managed to avoid reality TV for the most part, but Project Runway...gosh, it's addicting. I think I love it. No, really, I do.


mmm... I love House! Although I heard Hugh Laurie speak in his normal voice (he's British) and it freaked me the fuck out. It's just bizarre.

Oh, and I love watching Jesse Spencer, he used to be an Aussie teenage soapie star and he looks exactly the same as he did 7 years ago.


L. oreos in the bra... maybe I'll try that for the anniversary this year. And, House is the only show I have time for.. sometimes. Now that's ruined since NL has explained it is the root cause of healthcare intransigence in your homeland., As a universal healthcare loving Canadian snob... I just can't be a part of that. damn you informative comments

Back to the yurt with a novella or two for me, I suppose.


We're getting the terrible two tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, too.

When we trying and talk to her during these times, she'll say, "No, mommy! Still crying!" or "No, daddy! Still crying!"

Then, the other night, in between wails during one of these fits, she would say, "Sorry, mommy! Whining."

Pickle's Papa

I just wanna know what L. was doing taking her bra off at the office?

p.s. The Wife and I talk about blogging, a lot, and we now just refer to you as 'M' 'D', and if that makes you feel like a 14 year old japanese schoolgirl - I hope I dont accidentally download you at some point.


Here in Spain we have a cable channel that specializes in American tv series. I get to watch House and Sex in the City every night. Hugh Laurie is brilliant - I knew him from his British movies - and the series is just amazing. LOVE the sarcasm.


I totally agree with you on the text message thing. ALso the terrible twos is plural because I think it last two years.


Sheesh I don't even know where to start....They were all so funny! My favorite is the hand down the diaper. I could just see you both on the couth watchin TV in the same pose. hahaha.


I also just discovered "House" a few weeks ago.

http://kellyandiemama.blogspot.com/ --> she's got some House video that made me crack up


Okay, I have to take issue with the whole shortening words/phrases thing. There is one phrase that for some reason I love that has disappeared from the vernacular: Ribbi. As in short (?) for RBI, which announcers and broadcasters used to say all the time and they don't anymore. As weird as your obsession with pork rinds is my obsession with this term. I heard it used the other day and seriously did a little happy dance in the car.


I just discovered your blog today via gothamist.com. I LOVE IT! As a new mother in NYC, it's refreshing to see someone cast parenting in such a humorus light. Looking forward to reading more!


I've actually said 'night-night' to like the entire assembled office staff in the sing-song voice. I love a good laugh, even if it's at my own expense.

Great post, and good luck with the T2's (I actually found the 3's to be more terrible, but still, good luck).

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