.
Lately, I've been noticing the tag lines on a few of my favorite blogs and laughing my ass off. For some reason, it's only now that I'm realizing how funny and clever some of them are. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Neither representing nor keeping it real" - Dooce
"You don't know what it is, but you know you like it." - Finslippy
"Proof my children will be using their college funds for therapy." - Cynical Dad
"25% of human genes are the same as a banana. Get over yourself!" - Banana
"I affirm your worth! Seacrest out!" - Suburban Bliss
"I just LOOK like I'm wearing my pajamas." - Sweatpants Mom
"Where sacred cows are slaughtered and served medium rare." - Alex Blagg
Needless to say, I think I need a new catchphrase for the MetroDad site. Somehow, the tagline "I Rant, Therefore I Am" isn't doing it for me anymore. However, after trying to come up with some new taglines, I'm realizing that I'm absolutely terrible at this. After thinking so hard that I got a brain freeze, the only ideas I had were...
MetroDad: "Finally, a website we can let the servants read!"
MetroDad: "No batteries included and no strings attached."
MetroDad: "Not as good as it used to be."
Pretty fucking lame, eh? I really can't come up with anything. Maybe I'm overthinking the whole issue. Anyway, instead of giving myself an aneurysm, I decided to do what I always do when I need some honest advice...
I turn to the internet.
I'm always boasting to my friends that my readers are the smartest, funniest and wittiest people out there. Whereas most of society believes me to be a pompous ass, you guys "get" me. Therefore, who better to come up with a tagline for the site than you guys?
But I'm throwing out a twist here and offering a prize for the most creative tagline. Winner (as determined by myself, the BossLady and the Sweepstakes Division of Price Waterhouse) will be the lucky recipient of a brand-new portable Insignia DVD Player. (Yes, this is the same DVD player that I wrote about a little while ago.) It's a very cool product that would be great for long summer drives in the car, airplane trips to see the grandparents, hanging out in the backyard, or watching porn in the bedroom.
So, enter to get yours now! No purchase necessary! Enter as often as you like!
I know a lot of you readers are in advertising (Mom-101, Bacon Grease, Virgo, Concha et al.) so you may have a slight advantage here. However, I only need one good tagline so I'm hoping that someone can come up with something clever that epitomizes the essence of this site.
Ready, set, go!
(UPDATE, July 5: Congrats to SpikeyMikeP who wins with "Poppycock from a Cocky Pop." These were some great entries and I think I'll start alternating them on a semi-regular basis. Thanks for playing, everyone!)
(in marketing, the red-headed stepchild of advertising...)
More Asian-inspired than your coffee table.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 12:09 PM
Cooler than the other side of the pillow!
Posted by: Ian | June 21, 2006 at 12:14 PM
MetroDad - He may or may not be wearing pink underwear.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | June 21, 2006 at 12:31 PM
Where a Peanut rules the world!
Posted by: kristie | June 21, 2006 at 12:34 PM
Producing pompous pontification to liven up your lonely life
Posted by: Katy | June 21, 2006 at 12:46 PM
Mmmm...tastes like chicken
Posted by: Katy | June 21, 2006 at 12:47 PM
I like 'I rant, therefore I am' though...
but the above "Where a Peanut rules the world!" is great.
can't think of any taglines myself. maybe you don't need one ;)
Posted by: navi | June 21, 2006 at 12:52 PM
METRO DAD: "Lettin' the smooth taste fool you."
Posted by: Middleman | June 21, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Working for Peanuts
Posted by: Brent | June 21, 2006 at 01:03 PM
Metro Dad: If it tastes like bologna, it is bologna.
Posted by: Mandy | June 21, 2006 at 01:05 PM
I think you did it yourself.
Metrodad: "Most of society believes him to be a pompous ass."
Posted by: Lumpyheadsmom | June 21, 2006 at 01:11 PM
Slightly Tart and Tannic, with a Toasty, Chewy, Oak-Driven Finish.
Or something like that.
Posted by: CroutonBoy | June 21, 2006 at 01:13 PM
MetroDad: Great taste. That's it. Just Great Taste.
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | June 21, 2006 at 01:14 PM
MD: Doing no harm since 2005
But nothing compares to Alex Blagg.
Posted by: Kim | June 21, 2006 at 01:22 PM
"As good once as I ever was."-credit due to Toby Keith.
Posted by: txhorns93 | June 21, 2006 at 01:22 PM
Tom Cruise [or insert your favorite dad], eat your heart out.
Now with more bite.
I work for Peanut.
Making fatherhood look like a walk in Central Park at 3am since...
okay, I'll be back with more.
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | June 21, 2006 at 01:26 PM
Metrodad - putting the trot back in trottel.
(Trottel - german for 'clod', 'jerk' or 'sucker')
Posted by: Lumi | June 21, 2006 at 01:29 PM
MetroDad: Man enough to love Scotch and Chick Flicks. Deal.
Posted by: wn | June 21, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Thanks for the shout out, MD! I have to be honest though, I found my tagline by doing a bit of research on this here good ol' internet. (I was looking up Banana Facts and found this t-shirt.)
(Other ideas since coming up with that one have been the always popular "What. The. F*$%." and "Friends don't let friends get perms.")
As for your site, I'm going to need a few minutes of good hard thinking to come up with anything worth offering up...I'll be back!
Posted by: Liberal Banana | June 21, 2006 at 01:34 PM
Metrodad - Poppycock From a Cocky Pop
Posted by: Mike | June 21, 2006 at 01:43 PM
"Striving to keep the world safe for the prefix Metro- and Peanut" Sorry, got nothing, :-) but had to throw in a grammatical theme... knowing your penchant for various parts of linguistics. However, I am now inspired to get me a short/sweet/sassy tagline...
Posted by: Mama Nabi | June 21, 2006 at 02:16 PM
"Don't make me stop this car"
-or-
"I told you to check before we left the house"
-or-
"Finish. Your. Vegetables."
Posted by: thisislarry | June 21, 2006 at 02:24 PM
"Even with kids, still cooler than you."
BTW, now I realize even more how lame-ass my unfunny tagline is. Damn.
Posted by: ddaddy in a strange land | June 21, 2006 at 02:33 PM
Metrodad: "Screw the instruction manual."
Posted by: eliaday | June 21, 2006 at 02:35 PM
I've got nothing but:
"Metrodad -- Warning: Processed in a facility that uses Peanuts."
Posted by: cam c. | June 21, 2006 at 02:38 PM
Because your dad didn't tell you about product.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 02:46 PM
All up in your bidness.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 02:49 PM
The father your mother warned you about.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 02:49 PM
No sleep 'til Brooklyn.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 02:51 PM
What about using the title of a post you had awhile back? "I'm not a playa, I just gush a lot." I thought that was cute.
Posted by: Leora | June 21, 2006 at 02:57 PM
Lip service and diaper service
Posted by: Nan | June 21, 2006 at 03:03 PM
Only taking shit in diaper form.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Putting the 'B' back in subtle since 2005.
The one, the only, old school metrosexual, peanut pondering asian man with the plan - , makin it worthwhile for the new style of the modern day, need I say . . . MetroDad.
(you have to hold your hands just right when you say that to make it work.)
Posted by: Pickle's Papa | June 21, 2006 at 03:13 PM
Well this is my first time visiting but here goes:
METRODAD -
Catching the F Train with a handful of diapers
Desperately Seeking Sleep
Juggling Milk, Bagels and Pizza
I'm The New Brad Pitt
This is a tagline that Mrs. Mogul gave me
Jaded Manhattanite With Urban Coolness
Posted by: mrsmogul | June 21, 2006 at 03:15 PM
Pimping fatherhood for the masses.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 03:17 PM
Oooh, MrsMogul inspired me (can you tell I want to win?)
Angelina's Next Adoptee.
Posted by: Meg | June 21, 2006 at 03:18 PM
"I'm not a gay man, but I play one on TV."
"Secret Asian Man." (if you get that reference, I lurve you.)
"Now with 67% more product!"
Posted by: candace | June 21, 2006 at 03:19 PM
The only thing I could think of was a variations of "I think I think, therefore I think I am."
"I think I think, therefore I think I can..."
:sigh: Creativity is not my strong suit these days. I gave my brain away when I had children.
Posted by: honglien123 | June 21, 2006 at 03:19 PM
Okay, one more, and MD your a difficult one to pin down... (ahem, Peanut gets the Sybil thing from somewhere, right?)
MetroDad -
Scotch in my glass,
Peanut's my lass,
Walking with kings,
but my feet smell like ass.
Posted by: Mike | June 21, 2006 at 03:23 PM
whoops, that shoud read "you're a difficult one..."
Banished from the site for bad grammar!
Posted by: Mike | June 21, 2006 at 03:26 PM
I'm laughing at Secret Asian Man!!!
Posted by: Anne Glamore | June 21, 2006 at 03:28 PM
Wow, your readers are very funny and witty! These are great! I've got nothing of my own to add but I just wanted to say that I'm having so much fun reading all of these.
Posted by: Leslie | June 21, 2006 at 03:30 PM
OOOOH! I'm good with captions (remember Alabama?) but I'll give it a go, not only because I'm a slave for free electronics, but because I like you so dang much. I have to think about it. I'll get back to you.
Posted by: Samantha | June 21, 2006 at 03:33 PM
That "poppycock from a cocky pop" is awesome. I'd go with that.
Posted by: Rengirl | June 21, 2006 at 03:34 PM
The BINGO of the web. Keeping you up past your bet-time . . . hangin' on every word
Posted by: Pickle's Papa | June 21, 2006 at 03:36 PM
198 months and counting til I need a new identity.
Posted by: Pickle's Papa | June 21, 2006 at 03:40 PM
that last one of mine wasn't really true - you're still a dad after they turn 18
Posted by: Pickle's Papa | June 21, 2006 at 03:41 PM
i love not as good as it used to be because it makes me laugh! lol
Posted by: jennster | June 21, 2006 at 03:41 PM
My Bologna has a first name, it's M.E.T.R.O.
Yes, I do drink breastmilk.
No this isn't a bad episode of Sex In The City, this is my life.
The Peanut: taking over, one pacifier at a time. (Ok, this one wouldn't work.)
Posted by: Melissa | June 21, 2006 at 04:00 PM
Metrodad- "Not that there is anything wrong with that."
MetroDad- "Your after school (work) special."
MetroDad-"It sounds cooler than Metro Father."
Seriously though you could put in anyline from CaddyShack, Fletch or Princess Bride and it would be funny.
MetroDad- "Your Uncle Molests Collies." Caddy Shack
MetroDad- "Nothing of a sexual nature I assure you." Fletch
Metrodad-"Can I borrow your towel. My car just his a waterbuffalo." Fletch
MD- "Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep"-Fletch
Md-"You keep using that word But i do not think it mean what you think it means." Princess bride
MD- "I wonder if they are using the same internet that I am using."
Sorry I could go on forever.
Posted by: William | June 21, 2006 at 04:15 PM