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March 29, 2006


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The force is strong in some....not so strong in others.

My husband tries to use the jedi mind trick to get oral sex.... think it works?

(note the use of the verb "tries"...it's a hint)


God, I'm constantly telling my naughty five-year-old to use his powers for good and not evil. And that he's supposed to bring balance to The Force. (I can't believe I actually capitalize those words.) When the boys are acting up, I have actually tried to use Force Lightning and Force Choke on them. Bad Mommy. Oh, and my license plate reads, "GOT JEDI". This is what marrying a geeky Korean guy does to a gal after 15 years...


I am more of the Master Yoda school of teaching...

"Poop in the potty, you will" or "Read 'Bear in a Square' again, I will not. Choose another book, you will", or "Hit people, we don't".

Get the picture, you do.


Hilarious idea, MD. Never thought about raising our kids the Jedi way. Might have to give it a try!


I don't know what to say to you. Either you're brillant or you should start saving for her therapy fund. Let me knoe if this one works, "These aren't the cookies you're looking for", because I might give it a try. Does it work on Ben And Jerry's ice cream?


Ya know MD, sometimes it's scary how alike we are...

I have been teaching The PB & The J the ways of the force since they were born (that and how to say "D'oh!")and continue to do so to this day.

Like "That's not poop,it's a space station." or "I find your lack of putting your toys away disturbing." and "I thought that diapers smelled bad on the *outside*."


Oh how I wish I were more of a geek, so that I would have a witty comment to make here.

But what I really want to know is, what is she eating out of that dog bowl?


here's how I read your post:

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalall[picture of cute Asian baby eating from dog bowl]

Dude - you gotta send that into parenthacks.

"If your child won't eat anything, try feeding them from a dog bowl"


My favourite is "There is no try, there is only do, or do not." Although Miss Mary, at 15 months doesn't always get that one, it sends my husband into fits of helpless laughter when I say it.

Does feeding your child out of a dog dish really work? Cause I can't for the life of me get Mary to eat anything other than yoghurt and cookies...maybe I need to invest in a dog dish...


please, please tell me that you refer to her as a "youngling."

-ling is probably my favorite suffix.


Dude, whatever it takes to get the kid to eat. I think the floor/doggy bowl is a great idea, and I'd steal it from you except that we don't have a dog.

Ten Feet of Steel

Posts like this restore a little of my faith in humanity.

...How do you keep MetroDog out of The Peanut's dinner? This must be kind of confusing for him, no? More importantly, who has the nicer food dish?


The dog bowl thing is pure genius.


Genius... kids love to pretend they are puppies.


Oh man, MD. The Peanut is going to love looking back at those photos of her eating dinner out of a dog bowl. I'm sure you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

Mama Nabi

If I went home to find Papa Nabi feeding Little Nabi out of our cat bowls, "In deep shit, he will be." So does that answer your second question? Of course, it's the kind of thing that I'd do, like when a treat falls on the floor, I offer it back to LN and tell her "It never left your hand."


So you don't have to talk backwards like Yoda to be effective? That's cool.

It's actually a very good idea to raise the Peanut as a Jedi. It's my hope that some day I can just raise my hand and concentrate on something...like a beer or TV remote...and my daughter will BECOME the Force herself and bring it to me.

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not."


I feed my 16 month old like a dog too, though I don't use a doggy bowl. But that's an idea! Doggy-style works. After complaining for so long that my little girl wasn't interested in table food, she'll eat a decent amount if I feed her like a dog. I say whatever works. My nephew's bedroom for several months was a closet, not even a walk-in kind. He liked to sleep in there. It worked for him, so that's where he slept for a while.


Be careful of the Jedi ways; they could backfire on you. As you know, mine are a bit older. I have one who has become Vader to the core. He was an angel when he was younger.
He loves capes & masks, always wears black and we have the Vader theme as a ringtone for when he calls.

We call him, "The Evil One".


This was a hoot, MD! My older Padawan loves watching Star Wars - we're getting her hooked early. I am currently using my own Force powers to make her do my bidding - fetch me a diaper, you will.

As for Peanut and the doggy bowl - "Good food, hmm? Good, hmm?"


haha, you should contribute to the book, "How to Con your Kids" =P


Ya know, Metrodad. One of the main reasons I love coming over here to read your site is because you make parenting sounds so much fun.


darn cute post, if my husband the crazed star wars fan reads it he is surely going to go beserk.


You should have gone with the "Asian-style" dining. At the very least, it'll keep the hate mail at bay.


nice job with the rice rolls inside the dog bowl! does she like anything else yet? have you tried vienna sausages for the peanut? i know gross, but mine made three or four disappear in one sitting when she had them for the first time yesterday.

Papa Bradstein

Jedi? Dog bowl? It's all good, especially considering that Metro Dog has probably been stealing food from her all along . . . that is, it's all good so long as you're not dressing Metro Dog up as an Ewok.

Bad that would be.

Mega Mom

I don't even want to know how many times Peanut has to withstand "I am your FATHER".

I am so getting a dog bowl tomorrow.


Is that really a doggie bowl? Because it looks exactly like the baby bjorn toddler bowl we have and suddenly I'm thinking that we got duped.


My children have been raised as Jedi's since birth. Unfortunately, they seemed to have lost their connection to the force. Often, when I ask them to get me something, say a glass of water, they try to use the force, but alas, it does not work. But they keep trying.


Yeah, I've been using the force from the begining, like using the force to change diapes from across the room. The stink is strong with this one.


You might just have cured me of my Star Wars allergy. I'll look at them as comedies from now on.
May the poop be with you...

Phat Daddy

We TOTALLY have to try & feed Monkeyboy like a cat...he's 3 1/2 - think he'll fall for it?? I'll do almost anything to get him to try fruits & veggies...


My niece is the same way. She will only eat off the floor with the puppy. She gets mad when you put her in her seat.


Since she is not kimchi squatting, your wife is not going to buy it. I feel a tremor in the Force....like a thousand voices crying out at once, or...Korean spousal abuse by wives going up.


Funny, my boys used to try bathing in the dog water and eating dog food, but never once did I think to feed them THEIR FOOD from the dog bowl.

Queen of Ass

Somehow I doubt that's gonna work with the Mrs., but hey! What's the worst that could happen??? (heh!)


Hey Metrodad,
I love reading your blog and looking at the photos of your family. But when do we get to see Bosslady?


BoBo Brooklyn: http://www.bobobrooklyn.com/catalog.php?item=176&catid=66&ret=catalog.php%3Fcategory%3D66

I bought one fo rmy daughter, and she's not even born yet!

the weirdgirl

The dog bowl is brilliant! I'm going to use that. I can't seem to keep Chance from helping himself to the catfood bowl anyway. You'd think he'd taste a pellet once and not eat it again but nooooo.

The Force, that's a good idea. Though I think I'll try it on Keen first...


I'm sure there is a joke in here somewhere, about Asians eating dogs...(which I can say, cause I'm Asian, so back the hell off my ass, everyone!)

Also, this may come as a shock but I happen to be the only person on the planet who has seen only the very first Star Wars. (Being married to a science fiction fan, this is grounds for divorce.)


Jedi parenting...love it!

Please be careful with the dog bowl idea. Although it's so cute to see her sitting there and eating that way now, it's not so cute when the subject in question is a 38-year-old man. That's right, the hubby still eats his morning cereal from a dog bowl. It raises eyebrows when we have visitors but hey, at least he's house-broken!

Sammy Jankis

Oh, no, sweatpantsmom, you aren't the only one. I'm a HUGE sci-fi fan and a slightly less huge than I used to be fan of Star Wars (since the prequels). I've been trying to get the wife to watch the original trilogy for fourteen years. She has yet to make it past the Cantina scene before falling asleep.

Nothing But Bonfires

Do you think they make that blue onesie in grown-up sizes?


I don't know if your wife will buy it, but I'm buying it!

I think you can file this under the "Whatever works" section of parenting guides.


Uh oh, I think my toddler's a jedi already. I said to him, "it's time to change your diaper." He said "no change diaper time, blowing horn time!" Then he picked up a cardboard tube and started blowing into it. Suddenly I found myself taking a turn blowing the horn too. Yikes!

PHAT Mommy

Hi MD - found you through ParentHacks and just had to stop by and say we are a Star Wars family through-and-through. One of my 19-mo-old daughter's first words was "hoo-pah" - which is, of course, the sound of Darth Vader's breathing mask.

Great post. Visit you often, I will.


Awesome post - would love to see these ideas on minti.com too as many parents could benefit from a smile at a Jedi thought/comment or two :)

Some kids just speak like Yoda all the time and it always gets me smiling.

Keep up the great blogging!


This is funny. I know first hand that kids like to eat as, and pretend they are dogs. When I was a kid I said that I was a dog and I wanted to eat off of the floor like the one. From that day on, till this day, even though I am 20, my older sister still calls me pooch.

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