Steppin' Out!

Have you heard the story about the married couple with kids?  Recently, the wife was doing the dishes in the kitchen when her husband stepped up behind her and said, "hey, girl.  You want to go out?"  Without even turning around, the wife quickly replied "Oh God, Yes!!!  We never do that anymore.  I'd love to."  Anyway, the couple went out and had a wonderful evening.  But it wasn't until the end of the night that the husband confessed that his question had been directed at the family dog, who had been lying at the wife's feet on the kitchen floor!

BossLady and I are generally pretty good at making sure that we get time for ourselves away from the baby.  As anyone with kids will attest, this is no easy task.  But we find that if we don't get some time alone together or with some friends for a long dinner, we start going crazy.  Usually, the threshold is about three weeks.  If we don't get an evening out together in three weeks, we'll start picking fights with each other over who left the dirty dishes in the sink (her), whose turn it is to walk the dog (me), or which American idol needs to go (I say Gedeon.  She says Kinnik.)

Anyway...this past Friday, BossLady and I decided that it was time for another much-needed date night. 

Now, I don't know whether I've ever told you that, in addition to her many great attributes,  the BossLady is a fucking rock star.  Seriously!  She's got an awesome voice and, during her grad school days, she even played bass guitar in an all-female alternative rock band.  Back when we were a childless couple, the two of us would often go to these private karaoke rooms (noraebang) that are prevalent throughout New York City.  Sometimes, we'd make it an entire evening.  Other times, we'd be hanging out with friends and, on the way home, the two of us would decide to make a pit stop to belt out some tunes together.  More than once, we emerged from those rooms just as the sun was starting to come up. 

Recently, we'd been lamenting the fact that we hadn't done this since the Peanut was born.  So, on Friday night, we got a babysitter, went out for some Korean barbecue, headed over to our favorite karaoke joint, got our our own private room and started belting out tunes. Needless to say, it was just like old times.  I did my usual repertoire of songs by Bush, Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Bruce Springsteen.  BossLady covered everything under the sun...The Killers, Madonna, Dido, Beastie Boys, Cheap Trick and even a few Korean songs.  (However, in my honest opinion, you haven't lived until you've heard her versions of Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop,"  Night Rangers' "Sister Christian," or Radiohead's "Creep.")

We had an awesome time.  For five hours, we remembered what it was like to be young and childless.  Never in a million years would we ever regret deciding to have a child.  But for one night?  It was great visiting our younger selves, rocking out and having fun in the moment.

The only downside is the cost of getting someone to watch the Peanut.  Like everything else in NYC, babysitters are expensive.  We generally pay our sitters between $12-15/hour.  We give them another $15 to order some dinner.  And if we stay out past 11:00 pm, we usually hand them another $20 to take a taxi home.  So, needless to say, sometimes even going out for a quick burger and a movie ends up costing us $120!  It's insane, right?  Thankfully, MetroBro is an excellent babysitter and loves spending time with his niece so we usually only end up having to pay for a sitter once a month.  But generally, we chalk up the expense of a babysitter as an essential cost of living.   

After all, you can't really put a price on one's sanity, can you? 

But, as usual, I'm curious about other parents in the blogosphere.  Do you have date nights with your spouse?  How often?  Who watches the kids?  What's the market rate for a babysitter where you live? What do you do on date night? 

Comments

[Lionel]

We do one night a week. Sometimes just the two of us. Most of the time with a group of friends. I think it's important to find time away from the kids, have some adult conversation and enjoy a little fun.

As for babysitting? We're in the Bay Area. Average cost is around $12/hour.

[Rachel]

That's quite a lot of money for one child...

I usually make around $6-$7 per hour for one child and then the people I babysit for who have two children (well now 3, but he's only 3 weeks old) pay me $10-$12 when it's both of them. And unless they are giving me money to get food for the kids and I to share, I NEVER accept offers to order my own food though they do offer (if I do order something, I pay for it myself). They tell my to help myself, typically show me where snacks and drinks are and I usually eat what the kids are eating or bring along a PB&J. Here of course, we don't do taxis, I drive myself, but paying for cab fare seems reasonable.

I remember being younger and making like $3 an hour... that really was a ripoff! I have to agree with the mom that I sit for though, I've been babysitting her children since her 8 year old was 2 and she said "If you find a good babysitter who you trust and who the children really love, then take care of them and pay them well, because they're hard to come by." And it's true, I adore the kids and we always have a great time.

[Brian]

Aren't you the guy who wanted to put the whiny thing in a box? Feed her before you go out and make sure she's changed. Then duct tape her sandwiched between two big pillows so she can't hurt herself (or get her a baby sumo suit). Maybe a little extra bubble wrap for the head. $120 for babysitting? I'll wrap her up for $20.

[Dollymama]

We have a teenager that lives across the street from us that usually babysits for us. Our three oldest kids help a lot with the younger kids and getting them to bed, etc., plus the younger set normally goes to bed around 7pm so they aren't up that long while we have a sitter. SO, we usually pay around $7 per hour. She doesn't do a bit of picking up or cleaning anything, and mostly just sits on our couch talking on her cell phone while our kids sleep, so I don't feel bad about not paying more.

We live 30-45 minutes from a city that has stuff to do, so when we get a night out it easily costs $100 by the time we pay the sitter, get fuel for the car, and do whatever we're going to do.

Thanks to the high cost of getting out, we try to have as much fun at home as we can. We've worked to get the younger kids to bed early. We get the older ones set up with something quiet to do. We buy snacks or dinner that we like and have it at home and watch a movie or whatever. For us, we don't really love going out as we're not really into shopping and there's not that much to do. Getting some down time and being together is really all we need.

We're also fortunate that we're reimbursed by our church for our attendance at small group that meets three times a month. Since we're friendly with the people in our group, it's a treat and we have fun with it.

[Katrina]

Awesome-- as a professional nanny I am happy to read that you take good care of your sitters and do not grudge her the $$ earned. Thanks for boosting our profession:)

[ny]

We fairly recently started doing this once a week. Our nanny just stays later than usual. usually a nice meal and a coupla drinks, maybe a movie

[Phil]

No date nights out. My kids have never had a babysitter. I have no idea what the going rate is around here.

My wife and I will, however, spend a couple of evenings each week watching movies or TV shows on DVD (just finished up Dead Like Me -- great show!). We fix snacks, order a pizza, whatever, so we have date nights IN.

Everything else -- travels, dinner out, etc, we take the kids with us. I couldn't even imagine traveling without them. We'll do plenty of that once they're grown. The point now is to make memories WITH the kids.

[Louise Fury]

I think you got a good deal on a nanny. I am a nanny in NYC, I charge $30 an hour. I have friends who charge $40, we go through an agency, but it is not just babysitting, its art projects, sing alongs etc.
Living in NYc myself, my husband and I often joke about the fact that when we have a baby, we wont be able to afford babysitting, the prices can range from $15 - $40....pretty steep.

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