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March 22, 2006


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I'm on the new "nontraditional student/mom/wife diet". It consists of Diet Mountain Dew, Girl Scout cookies, and an occasional slice of pizza from the cafeteria. Of course, the only exercise I'm getting is the mental gymnastics as I read from one textbook out of another, but so far... I've only gained three pounds! Woo-hoo!


"a.k.a. The Lohan" - HA!

The best way to succeed on the diet is not to deprive yourself of any one thing entirely. The whole "No carbs. At all. Ever." thing is INSANE. You may end up binging on way more than your fair portion of something you have a weakness for if you never let yourself have it.

And yes, exercise. (But it looks like you've got that under control.) If your weight loss plateaus, spice up your workout and try something new. You'll work different muscles and it'll be more mentally engaging.

Recap: Cutting down on the bad stuff? Good. Cutting it all out entirely? A recipe for madness. Ha.


Try mine - should work if you click my name. It's called the Thanksgiving Diet... If not:



Since I'm still breastfeeding, I deny myself nothing and still maintain a decent figure. I completely recommend it! ;) Seriously, though, I have cut a lot of soda pop out of my diet, which keeps me from consuming many empty calories. My exercise routine consists of chasing after my kids, which seems to work pretty well for a stay-at-home-mom. My husband, however, decided last month to get a new gym membership at a small, locally owned gym (as opposed to a larger chain that we have tried before), and he has really been quite motivated to go. He's been going at least 3 times a week, if not more. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I promised him an iPod if he lost 20 pounds.


Try my husband's diet: eat less pizza.

Shocking, but he still weighs in at a meagre 275lb.


My diet is called "being a woman in los angeles." All it takes is one look around and then the willpower just sorta takes over.


I'm thinking maybe you just drop the Fried Chicken. Although that seems kind of drastic. You might have to try "The Lohan", you know just for a few weeks. And I don't know about New York, but before Craiglist and even now, you can find all of those things on Venice Beach.


The wife and I tried Atkins once. She lost 15 lbs and I gained about 10. I loved the eating meat part but I couldn't stay away from the fries so I'd cheat on the diet during the day. Apparently, you can't do that!


poor MIM- she got blasted. i have no good dieting advice, if i did, i wouldn't be worrying about the weight i can't seem to shake. mmmm shakes.


I went to my doctor with my own weight concerns, expecting some grand recommendation or to be sent to a nutritionist. The man recommended The South Beach Diet, and I shut my brain off, because it's a fad diet, right? Those things never work.

Well, after actually reading the book and following it for a while, it does have some sound basis in healthy eating. The first two weeks suck, but after that, it's basically just eating healthy and working out. The hard part is breaking your dependency on the sugar and processed carbs. Fresh vegetables, lean meats, dairy...life is good after the initial two weeks.

The book is worth a read, anyway.


I found your blog through Tertia's and had to drop a quick comment.
I have done WW, zone, atkins - you name it. Right now I am tracking my food at www.fitday.com. It tells me my calorie input and output. I just try to keep my daily calories 500 to 1000 below what I have used for the day which results in losing 1-2lbs per week. It does the math for you and has lots of cool graphs and charts for free. I am also trying to keep my food at a 30/30/40 split (zone style) but it's easier to keep track of this way.
p.s. - very smart man. Never jump into a swarm of arguing woman. You must have been stung in the past.


I've done the Zone thing and it basically morphed into a balanced diet minus the numbers, which seemd to work for me (though I have my moments of "Yeah, I ate the whole box of Oreos. You gotta problem with that?").

You could always try the "Roseanne/Tom Arnold method": sit naked in front of a mirror and eat. Not sure it'll go so well in restaurants but hey, it's worth a shot.

Papa Bradstein

Congratulations on using the elliptical for anything other than a laundry rack. Exercise is key.

As a vegetarian who gained 15 pounds as Mama started to gain weight, I can tell you that going veg is no guarantee of weight loss. Fudge is vegetarian.

I'm with Leigha. Long before we were expecting, Mama went on the South Beach Diet, which means I pretty much went on the SBD. We both lost the weight that we wanted to, mostly in the first two or three weeks, which is when the diet closely resembles Atkins. After that, the world is once again your oyster, provided you can avoid most sweets. I'm with Liberal Banana that eliminating anything entirely will probably create cravings that cause binging, which is why I think the SBD is good--except in the first few weeks, it doesn't eliminate, it moderates.

That is, it's good if you're a better man than I, and you can avoid the candy bowl at work (which then led to more and larger between meal snacks).

Also, the SBD site (free trial, then paid membership) has a meal planner that even generates shopping lists--and you can specify what preferences or restrictions you have. So, you could kill two peking ducks with one stone and go veg and SBD.

I recently went back to minding my SBD Ps and Qs, without going back to the first stage, so I'm avoiding most sugary snacks, and I've already lost several pounds. That's without exercise, since I'm still driving Mama to work rather than riding my bike, so you've got a head start there. Unfortunately, for those of us our age, I don't think there are any quick fixes...I think that we have to stay on this from now on.

P.S. If you go the Richards route, you're on your own with the leather pants, but I don't recommend the headbands. Not so slimming. Not so metro.


I'm doing a low GI diet that doesn't deprive you of anything, it just tells you "how much" you should eat. Honestly I started out eating 1200 calories a day following the nutri-system meal plan and I had a hard time choking down all the stuff they tell you to eat! These days I can get it all in but I still don't have a desire to cheat a whole lot. I'm not buying the food any more, there are websites with low GI recipes and it's amazing what you can do on your own if you learn how to read a label! My whole family is eating low GI dinners and they don't even know it. Last night I had pork chops with onions and mushrooms. Yum!

Also, I have discovered a love for cardio kickboxing. It's fun so it doesn't even seem like exercise! I do it in my living room before work in the morning. The key is to find something you like and stick with it. I hate exercise but I do my kicbox DVD pretty faithfully.

Good luck!

magnum myoblast

Hey MD,
I think all of the above diets suck, some for health reasons (Atkins), but mostly because all diets are unnatural. Before my baby came I was an avid triathlete, after she came I had to train less and added a few to the middle(I didn't like it). So I reread Nancy Clarks sports nutrition book that has been very useful to me in the past (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/073604602X/qid=1143060904/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-7371171-1027366?v=glance&s=books)
I recommend the first 5-8 chapters that basically say diets suck, just eat mostly good stuff and you can still have the other stuff too. I think it is just a frame of mind to be in. When I tried to restrict what I ate because a diet said to, it just didn't have the same effect.


Good for you, MD. When the kids were born, I found that I had very little time (or desire) to go to the gym. We got a cheap treadmill for the basement and it's made a huge difference. I think the most important thing to do is incorporate SOME exercise into your life. That's always been the hardest part for me.


Sorry, MD, I have no diet or exercise tips for you. To each his own.

But I give you credit for posting about what has inexplicably become a hot potato of a topic.


I found that weaning worked wonders. That, or cut out bagels.

You don't mind if I blogroll you, do you? You never cease to impress. "Hector."


Why not try the patented All Baby Diet!

They're pretty fatty, but you're guarenteed to lose weight as you run from angry parents, police, FBI, Interpol, etc.

Unfortunately, you apparently love yours, so you'll have to find them elsewhere.


Glad the elliptical is working for you, it became an expensive clothes hanger in my room so I donated it to a wellness clinic. Maybe SOMEONE can lose weight with the damn thing.


I've had great success with a diet of Luna bars and Starbucks coffee. Oh, and add two wild kids, for the stress factor. I mean, as EXERCISE. Yes, exercise. That's it.

The pounds just FALL off.


First of all, Hola to Hector! He is one personable appendage.

I actually tried the Special K diet, because I am weak and a sucker for advertising.

I lost five pounds. Although, I have to admit by the end of the first week and my eighth bowl of cereal I was so bored I just started skipping the meal altogether.

So I say go for the 'Lohan' minus the leather pants and cocaine. Perhaps you can substitute a nice bowl of Special K.


I love the Lohan! Though it's not so good with a toddler around I suppose. Razor blades and rolled up twenties: a toddler's favorite toy!
How about the Scarsdale diet? Worked for my mom and dad back in the 70s. Or was that the 80s?

Chocolate Makes it Better

ahhhhhh....the old creeping porky's. Gotta love don't you?


I say do the Hollywood Diet. Lyposuck Hector's ass outta there. Set him free, man.

If that doesn't work...C-section.

That's the best I've got.


I've dropped over 25 lbs since my "sympathy pregnancy", by eating breakfast (whether I want to or not), munching on fruit or carrots mid-morning, having steamed rice with either canned tuna or veggies for lunch, having an apple mid-afternoon, and then having a decent dinner. The trick is eating lots of food that's good for you during the day - I used to skip breakfast and work like a mad-man until lunch, and by that time I was so hungry the only thing that sounded good was a bacon double cheeseburger with fries....

the weirdgirl

I lost ten pounds after the baby by counting calories and limiting (not cutting out) certain foods. For example, I'd have two cookies for a snack instead of two boxes of cookies (which I could literally put away with ease while I was breastfeeding). I also exercised but I never went crazy with it, I simply did 20 minutes a day. It was amazing to me how many calories I was eating (3000 a day) when I finally started counting them. The hardest part was the first 1 1/2 months - I was coming off of the breastfeeding cravings AND reprogramming my stomach to eat less. Once my body adjusted it wasn't nearly as much of an issue. If I eat around 2000 calories I simply maintain my weight, if I eat 1600 or a little less I lose weight.(I'd like to get rid of five more pounds but I've totally slacked over winter, though I haven't put any weight back on either.)

I still eat foie gras, gnocchi, prosciutti (prosciutti is a staple in this house)... but I just don't eat as much because I fill up faster now. Oh yeah, and the elliptical trainer and the hoola hoop are my friends.


I've dropped a bit over 50 lbs in the past 6 months. I follow no diet contained in a book. I went to a nutritionist, told him what I wasn't willing to give up (chocolate, margaritas, potatos) and he told me what I could eat that would safely take off about 3 lbs a week. The first month the weight poured off. It was just bizarre...

Then came the inevitable slowdown, but I'm still losing about a pound a week minimum. I eat one major meal a day, dinner. I drink a yogurt drink for breakfast, and don't eat lunch at all. I consume about 1200 calories/day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I don't worry about it, I barely think about it. I don't eat a lot of fruit anymore, which was a HUGE downfall for me, and I'm careful with baked goods. I skip bread on most days, I do eat sweat potato fries instead of potatos, but about once a month I HAVE to have either a baked potato or mashed potatos. I also cut back on rice, and that was hard. I love rice. I switched from white to brown rice, which I don't love as much, so won't eat as much.

My suggestion is to go to a nutritionist (your local hospital has a bunch of them and your doctor can refer you so insurance pays) and tell them what you are absolutely NOT willing to give up. Then design a diet around it. For me, my 220 calories a day of chocolate is SO worth it, that I'd rather eat that than lunch. I'm weird that way. But honestly, this is the easiest way I've ever attempted to lose weight, and it's because I don't deny myself anything, I just mix what I love with what I can eat a lot of.


I'd just like to echo the 1200 calorie diet (or thereabouts) themes. I've honestly never tried to diet before in my life - mainly because I didn't really need to before kids and afterwards, I was so convinced by all the media information that I couldn't possibly do it so why bother. Then my husband mentioned (in a totally NON passive aggressive way) that some guy at work lost a ton of weight with the meal delivery service. I asked what the gig was and he said it was just limited calories. For some reason a light bulb went off in my head. DUH, counting calories, I could do that. Especially if I stick to pre-packaged foods for a lot of my meals (granola bars, yogurt, frozen meals, etc.) - things I know the EXACT count for - makes it easy which is good because I am truly a lazy person. Sometimes I eat with the fam but then i read labels and weigh/measure everything - I only do it if it's worth the effort. Also I give myself two 1600 calorie days per week to keep my metabolism up - it also gives me something to look forward to and allows some leeway for eating out (which involves a lot of guessing). There's tons of great websites that list calorie contents for common foods. I'm slowly working on the exercise bit. I am struggling with looooow energy so I've got to figure out what foods I can eat that will give me more energy, I'm sure I'll be tweaking this plan forever. But it's working (almost 20 lbs down) and I like it and I feel better. I track my calories on a spreadsheet - absolutely essential I think - and also note how I'm feeling most days, how much exercise and once a week my weight. If I hit a plateau I figure I can take my journal to a nutritionist and get help. There were two main turning points for me - the duh of realizing “it’s the calories stupid” and harder was realizing that I had the self confidence to risk the failure that every doctor will tell you is inevitable - there's all kinds of overwhelming statistics about recidivism and failure and you just have to mentally get past that.

Walter P.

I'd been dieting and working out for 6 months and although I lost a lot of weight, I still couldn't shake off my little beer belly. You know why? Because it was filled with beer. Even though I drank that low-carb crap beer, I found that when I cut it out completely, I was able to get out of my plateau. I don't know if you're a beer guy but you might want to give it a try! Good luck!

Queen of Ass

Sonoma Diet. Mediterranean food. Makes me very happy.



It rocks. It's free. It's sensible.


My grandfather has been a doctor for about a million years and he recommends the Atkins diet. That is what he does when he needs to lose a few pounds. So, there he is the 78-year-old doctor who still wears the clothes he had in his younger days. No matter how hard I try, I can not get him to pitch the polyester suits... so I guess it is a catch-22.

Renee Dodd

Too bad about the leather pants requirement, as The Lohan sounds like the most interesting diet. But your wife is right, no leather pants. Jim Morrison was the only man ever to look sexy instead of silly or sleazy in leather pants.

I was led here through your comments on Suburban Bliss, MetroDad, and I'm so very glad to have discovered the multitude of giggles you're providing to the blogosphere.


Diets are never cool, although surprisingly, Weight Watchers worked wonders when I had to lose weight to fit into a too-small bridesmaid dress (15 lbs over the course of two months).

Then I realised I was basically following Canada's Food Guide by using WW and dropped all the crazy point counting, etc and stuck a copy of the food guide on the fridge as a constant reminder to reach for the apple, not the apple pie. Keeping track for a couple of weeks of what you're eating every day (in a food journal) also tips you off to when you tend to eat the bad stuff and allows you to plan around it.

I'm sure the US Food Guide is pretty much the same. Follow it and I guarantee you'll lose the weight and keep it off...and you'll even be allowed to cheat on occasion! And that's the part I like best of all!


I've never really "dieted" but am three months into Ass Watch 2006 (copyright pending). My AW plan was to pretty simple: start exercising regularly and cut out the extraneous bad foods, like a cookie at lunch or latte snack or the gnocchi in a veal ragout dinner menu option.

So instead of having salmon on a bed of potatoes or rice, it's now over wilted spinach. Instead of some fatty dessert, I have a couple chocolate chips and dried cherries. Eating out is the biggest danger zone so I try to order a salad appetizer instead of the fricassee of mushrooms over polenta (full disclosure: my husband may be pressured to order something more decedent so I can at least have a bite of the forbidden fruit). For me, small healthy changes seem the most sustainable in the long run, especially since I can be very teenage rebellion-slam the door-pierce my eyebrow-esque if I decree that I "may not" eat something. Moderation, baby. Have you checked out that French Women Don't Get Fat book? I subscribe to that mentality.

Good luck to you MD and adieu fair Hector; I barely even knew ya.

Linda B

Hmm, I'm afraid I'm in no shape to help you now, as I am currently on the pregnancy "Are you gonna eat that?" diet.


There is nothing wrong with man tits that a nice B cup won't fix. And we prefer "gynecomastia", you bastard.


Here's what I do:

1) Jumbo Coffee for breakfast, drink at desk while stressing over client (burns calories.)

2) Insty low fat Soup Cup, eat at desk while stressing over client (burns calories.)

3) That afternoon, open the door to the stairwell in your office building and start going up. See how many flights you can make it, and bring a phone in case you start to pass out between 18 and 19. Be sure to save enough energy to make it back down, as most of the floor doors lock.*

4) Eat and good dinner.

*I have even done this in heels, which puts me on my toes and tones the hell out of my calves. Bonus: It's free.


Doh! I know how you hate the typos: "Eat A good dinner."

And by the way? My fighting weight is about 130. (I'm just over 5' 6".) I gained 60 lbs with The Dude, all of it now gone.


I say go with the Keith Richards diet. They say that the best diets are the ones where you can enjoy life. Sounds fun to me!


I'm sorry, I am confused. Why is unfortunate that you do all your "best thinking" when on the can? ;>

And you might want to update the post the reflect the following:
"... this diet requires wearing leather pants and my wife [... seconded by all my bleaders, have indicated that this is an unsavory and verboden fashion choice.]"


Well, I am on the "Invisalign" diet. I'm straightening my teeth with those plastic trays you have to wear, and you can't eat when they're in. You have to keep them in 22 hours a day. I lost about 12 pounds in the first few weeks, but lately I've been getting a little lax about popping them in and out as easily as the M&Ms I pop in between.

Other than that... Fit for Life worked great for me. I was in the best shape of my life at 37...after having a kid, too. The second kid wrecked my body for good, me thinks.

These days, I'm just feeling lazy. :(


I've always had a budonkadonk in a city where such things are not lauded; after all, how does one downward dog when one's ass appears to be taking flight?

But after a few trips to the doctor, it turns out that -- in addition to making me crazy for boys -- my hormones are causing me to hang onto that weight.

Well. How ironic is MY body!

South Beach -- other than incidences of frittata -- might just be the trick. It's pretty low key after the first two weeks.

But you can't have beer.

That's why I never finished:).


If you want to eat normally and still lose your weight, why don't you try the Japanese way of cooking? Check my free website for details.



I have the same problem: the love of good food. My suggestion is to not eat what the BossLady doesn't finish and watch the size of your portions.

Good luck!


Well, the thing is, I'm terrible at this. Especially since having the kids. I'm lazy, and I love high-calorie foods. Shoot me already and get it done with.

Jaynie R

I'm on weight watchers and it seems to be working. You can still eat what you want, you just have to count it in your points.

Good Luck *g*


I did Weight Watchers before being pregnant, and did well. Since you don't like math, the points system probably wouldn't suit you. But there were guys who did the "Core Plan", where you can eat as much of anything that's NOT processed (i.e. meats, fresh veggies, etc). It's pretty easy to follow, and for those processed foods that we all love (i.e. alcohol), you have a weekly points allotment for those...


The solution is very simple, to loose weight you need to burn more calories than you put into your body. And trust me on this advice, what you eat counts for about 70-80 % of the "weight problem". The best way to do this is to eat a little leas and exercise a little more. In the long run that will lead to results that wull stay. Have you ever seen anyone on Atkins diet who stayed on it and looked good after a months or a year? Didn't think so.

I'm ashamed to admit that I can eat like a horse, drink like only a Swede can, and still stay very lean. If I only eat burgers, pizza, and beer plus do no workouts I loose weight. I'm not kidding you. To gain weight I need to work out and then my weight goes up with the muscle gain. Fucking weird.

Having a child has not affected my workouts or diets which I think is a good sign. I think most people are just using their child as a convenient excuse for having gained weight *ducking for cover behind the desk*

Have a nice weekend


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