All The Snooze That's Fit to Print

For those of you visiting here for the first time because of my semi-embarrassing quote in the Women's Sports Section of the NY Times, let me just say Welcome!  My name is MetroDad (or, as we like to say here in New York City, "Bienvenido!  Me llamo Metrodad!")

This site is, for lack of a better phrase, a "daddy blog." 

What the hell is a "daddy blog?" you might ask?  Well, I can't answer for ALL of them but I like to think of this site as being very similar to a "mommy blog"...except with real humor!  And 50% less crazy!

I'm kidding, of course.  This site actually began as a way for me to track my journey into fatherhood.  As I gave up living the fast-paced Manhattan high lifestyle of restaurant openings, book parties and the velvet ropes, I wanted to record my segue into responsible and involved parenthood.  How exactly does one go from bottle service to the binky?  From dancing at Lotus to ring-around-the-rosie?

Because, as you may learn from perusing this site, I take parenting very seriously.  I'm 37 years old.  I've always wanted to be a father.  And with the birth of my daughter 16 months ago, I was given a chance to try and become the best father that I possibly can.  So I started this site to reach out to other parents (particularly fathers) who could help me along on this journey.  In the process, I met an amazing number of great parents---people with different backgrounds from all over the world who all take parenting as seriously as I do.  I'm humbled to say that it's been one of the most enrichening experiences of my life.

But, needless to say, this site is also where we take a look at the lighter side of parenting.  Because just because I'm take parenting seriously, it doesn't mean I take myself very seriously.  And this site is also where, as a tiny little community, similar parents as myself can come and debate various topics related to raising a child.   And, because I can't resist an open mic, it's also become a forum for me to discuss anything that possibly comes to mind. 

So, if you've got nothing else to do, take a look around.  Here are a few sample posts that may give you a better idea of what this site is all about.  Enjoy...

So I Put My Ding-a-Ling in her Pee-Pee hole?  (on trying to get my wife pregnant)

Does Johnny Walker Make a Diaper Bag? (on the mass branding of baby gear)

Wouldn't It Be Cheaper to get a Vasectomy? (on buying a mini-van)

High-Stakes Gambling At Home (on drinking my wife's breast milk)

Like a Sailor Without a Fucking Boat (on learning not to curse in front of my child)

My Wife, Porn Star (on the size of my wife's pregnancy boobs)

The MetroDad Mailbag (readers send in their questions)

Confessions of a Grammar Nerd (Strunk & White rock the house!)

 

Comments

[Pepa]

I just love your blog!!
I am gonna start translating your posts. Or, are you planning to have it eventually translated into Spanish?
Genial! Me encanta este blog!!

[LeeMarv...]

Amazing, MD.

You're going to be a household name if this keeps up!

I know you're up for the challenge, though.

[Susan]

Yeah, yeah, the Mommy bloggers may be crazy, but at least we have a changing table in every restroom!

Which really isn't much of a triumph, come to think of it.

[velma]

how is it this is my first visit here - I LOVE YOU - am linking you immediately

[lesbonstemps]

Who else could mention cocaine and diaper tables in a single sentence?

[margalit]

MD, another home run! You picked out several of my all time favorite posts and it was nice to reread and bust a gut laughing. I wish you would do more of the Questions and Answers. Those were pretty hilarious.

Kudos about the NYTimes mention. A friend brought it over just as I was reading your post. It's up on the fridge now.

[Pattie]

Thanks for reminding me that "Like a Sailor Without a Fucking Boat" is the first post I ever read by you. Classic.

The "My Wife, Porn Star" post had me rolling, too. I can't even imagine what it'd be like not to be able to see my feet. But I'd sure like to find out. :)

[suburban misfit]

When I read the quote, I so wasn't surprised! It sounded like something you would say, which you did, so, yeah, that makes sense...never mind.

I'm glad you put up links to other posts. Now the people coming here who are thinking, "I'm going to rip that cocain-snortin' asshole a new...asshole," will have to re-think their tirades.

[Alicia]

Found you via the NY Times today. I'm 8 months pregnant with our first child. My husband and I have just spent the entire afternoon reading all your posts! You're a wonderful writer. We laughed. We cried. And we learned a lot about beng a parent and still having fun. Thanks!

[Jeffrey]

Ok, I gotta admit. I came over here to see what kind of guy would make a comment like that in the NY Times. But reading your site, I think it's amazing. You seem like a very cool and involved dad who can still laugh at the travails of parenthood. I'm hooked. Can't wait to read more!

[Steve Fasilow]

That mailbag post was absolutely hysterical! You are a very funny guy. Good luck enjoying parenting. I think you'll find it's the best job in the entire world.

[landismom]

Oh MD, you rascally devil! And I'm glad you put up the link--the demands of parenting today meant I never cracked the Times.

[enygma]

When will you resume the Metro Dad Mailbag? :)

[JJ Daddy-O in Savannah]

and to think we knew you when....
One thing I pointed out to Greg over at DT was wait til your daughter googles you when she gets older and reads the bit about you doing lines in stalls, oopsy, "just say no" is going to be a bit of a hard sell at that juncture....

[L.]

I just read the breast milk post.
Once when we were out of regular milk, I put breast milk in my husband`s coffee.
He didn`t notice.

[Regina]

I admit it. I had never even HEARD of Daddy blogs before. However, I think it's nice that, in this day and age, fathers can have a community to reflect on parenthood and discuss issues that are important to them. This NEVER would have happened a generation ago!

[Leora]

You crack me up, MD. That quote was really funny. Then again, your sense of humor and your perspective on parenting are what keep me coming here every day!

[dutch]

ain't no thang. I cut half a kilo of pure heroin on a koala changing station in the handicapped stall of some mahnattan hotel bar just last week.

our nanny travels ray liotta style too, if you know what I mean.

[Ian]

Thank God! As a father-to-be, I've been researching fathering sites all over the internet. I was starting to think that fatherhood robbed you of your sense of humor. After reading the Times article about you and Greg, I realized that there was still hope! I'm enjoying reading your posts and I'm looking forward to reading even more. Right now, I gotta run. My wife wants me to go get her some pickles and ice cream.

[Matthew]

How about when the men's stall has a big sticker proclaiming a changing table inside, only to find holes in the tile where the damn table used to be. This happened at the San Jose Airport a few months ago.

Hey, MD, don't forget us little people when you go big time on us. =)

[Xdm]

Oh my! You do give good quote, don't you? When you're ready for that media training session, give me a ring :-)

[misfithausfrau]

Congrats on the quote! Now, don't get all uppity on us or we'll have to give you a proper smackdown! :-)

[Rainer F.]

First time visitor here. Just wanted to say that this is great stuff! Have you thought of putting in all in a book? I've read most of the "new father" books out there and thought they sucked. The ones that tried to be serious were boring. And the ones that tried to be funny were lame. You strike a good balance between being serious and really funny. Would love to read more.

[Stephen]

Holy cow, MD! That mailbag post was hilarious! You should do more of those!

[goose]

jesus motherfucking christ, metrodad. you rock my world. oh, by the way- i went to a jeff tweedy concert on Friday and he totally made the "i wish i could quit you" joke. i seriously scowled at him because nobody makes that line work like you do! i wondered briefly if he read your site....

[Jimbo]

"similar to a mommy blog...except with real humor! And 50% less crazy!"

Holy shit, MD. That line made me snort a Pepsi out of my nose! So true! So true!

[Nina]

go Metrodad! (I think you should write a book too...)

[Jeremy]

Awesome, MD! You and Greg are certainly the rock stars of the Daddy blog world so it was great seeing both of your names in print. Congrats!

[Melissa]

MD-
You got your name in the NY Times. I am inpressed. I love some of those old posts. I think it might be about time you post a few questions from the MetroDad mailbox.

[The Grey Lady]

Found you via the Times. I don't have kids and I don't even know why I read that article. Anyway, I found your quote very amusing. Your blog is even more amusing. Nice stuff.

(From one grammar nerd to another)

[Rbrown]

I felt so starstruck last night as I perused my NY Times here in SF only to find yet ANOTHER Metrodad mention. I was alone and it was late so I couldn't even call friends to tell them I had a brush with fame. Damnit.

Congrats on the mention and to all you Metrodad newbies, keep a' comin'...he will make you snort breast milk through your nose!

[enygma]

Cool! You were quoted in the NY Times!

[kara]

your mom must be proud that you both change diapers and no longer snort lines of coke in public bathrooms.

[Lori]

Women's sports section???? Too funny, but you were probably giggling to yourself while writing it. :)

[Anne Glamore]

I was glad to get the heads up on the article, because I didn't get to the Styles section until late yesterday. Way to go, MetroDad.
And I just wanted to point out that I purposely punctuate "seven year olds" etc incorrectly (w/o hyphens) because it screws up my spacing in the tiny column I have to work with. Not that I owe you an apology- I'm just sayin' I ain't dumb or nuthin'.

[crazyvirgo]

i once got laid on a koala bare care in a men's bathroom, so there's one somewhere.

[MIM]

Dude. I'm totally shaking my head at that "Grammarian" post. I've gotten comments on MY blog about how that post freaked people out.

But you KNOW I love ya. And now you're a celeb and shit. Rock on!

[tweets]

I can say that I found you before you went big time in the NY Times, albeit ONE day before the NY Times, but alas BEFORE.

I'm sure the grammar is totally wonky is this comment, but FUCK IT.