It's "bling, bling" not "bling, bling, BLING"

As much as I love living in Manhattan, one of the real problems I have about raising a daughter here is the gross display of wealth. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I've got absolutely nothing against people making as much money as they humanly can.  It's the great American way.  If you've somehow figured out a way to become obscenely wealthy or you're a member of the Lucky Sperm Club?  Good for you, dude!  And if you choose to blow your wealth on Evian-filled swimming pools, gold toilet plungers and matching fur coats for the entire family AND the dog?  Well, it's your God-given American right! 

What I'm trying to say here is that I'm all for capitalism.  All the other systems seem to have worked out about as well as Steve Urkel's comeback. 

I bring all of this up because of the recent news story about the richer-than-god NY defense contractor David Brooks, who reportedly spent over $10 million on his daughter Elizabeth's bat mitzvah.  For his 13-year-old daughter's auspicious entry into womanhood, Mr. Brooks not only took over both floors of the famous Rainbow Room but he also hired 50 Cent, Aerosmith, the Eagles, Stevie Nicks, Ciara, Kenny G and Tom Petty to perform at the event.  The performers were flown in on Mr. Brooks' private plane.  A specially-built stage was built to accommodate the concert.  And goody bags for the little kids cost over $1,000 and included a digital camera, the latest video ipod and other assorted luxuries. 

Now, at this point, I'm not quite sure what disturbs me more: the fact that my boy 50 Cent actually sang the lyrics "go shortie, it's your bat mitzvah. we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah" or the fact that I think such a gross display of ones wealth is morally reprehensible.

Some of you may be saying to yourself, "wait, Metro.  Didn't you just say that it's every American's God-given right to spend their hard-earned money any way they want?"  Yes, I did.  And if Mr. Brooks wanted to burn hundred-dollar bills off a hooker's ass?  Well, shit, I'd be first in line to pat him on the back and lend him some matches.  But my problem with the whole bat mitzvah brouhaha is the fact that children were involved. 

Because let's face it.  We all know how malleable kids are.  For many kids out there, Eminem's got more influence on them than mom and pops.  And while you can say "please," "excuse me," and "God bless you" in front of your kids all you want, that doesn't necessarily mean they're not going to walk around, ending every sentence with "you know what I'm saying, motherfucker!"

Though my little daughter is only 14 months old, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how I can instill the right moral values in her.  How does one raise a kind, intelligent, well-adjusted child in New York City?  How can I ensure that she remains grounded despite the insanity around her?  I want the Peanut to always have drive and ambition.  I want her to always remain modest.  And I want her to always keep things in perspective and strive to help those who may be less fortunate.  Not an easy task in and of itself.  And it's much harder to accomplish when guys like Mr. Brooks are vulgarly displaying their wealth and subsequently teaching their kids that money has no moral value. 

By no means do I intend to single out Mr. Brooks for this phenomenon.  Anyone who's watched two seconds of "Laguna Beach," "My Super Sweet Sixteen," "Cribs," "Rich Girls," or "Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive," knows what I'm talking about.  Am I turning into a cranky old man or do today's kids seem to have less respect for money than previous generations? 

Again, I'm not saying that Mr. Brooks should be spending that money on victims of Katrina, homeless people or African refugees.  It's his money and he can do what he want with it.  I'm just saying that, like anal sex and smoking dope, there are just some things you shouldn't do in front of the kids.  And spending obscene amounts of money on children who can't fully fathom the meaning of it is one of those things.  All those kids see is the bling. 

Personally, I'm glad that I have plenty of time to think about all this.  So far, the Peanut hasn't come up to me complaining about the fact that she doesn't have a gold binky and cashmere diapers like Muffy von Foufeenberg.

But seriously, folks, what do YOU think about all this?  An inquiring mind wants to know. 

Comments

[Meg]

Yes, it was as much the choice of musical acts as the conspicuous consumption that floored me. I mean, ew -- Kenny G?

[Sy Knuckleduster]

MD:

Why the apology for capitalism at all? Sure, we all want to have enough cash to live large. But there's a line to be drawn somewhere. It used to be that extremely conspicuous consumption was frowned upon by both our neighbors and broader society. Sadly, now it's celebrated.

[BossLady]

This is in response to "Karen"'s comment, the one who wasn't brave enough to leave her email address. Yes, we live in a condo in Tribeca and we admit to being pretty big consumerists. (let's face it: we are addicted to good food, traveling, and gadgets!) But why is setting a "good example for your children" equated with selling "your place and move somewhere less expensive and modest and where the public schools are good such as Bayside or Little Neck, Queens? And the commute is easy." What has real estate got anything to do with setting a good example? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

And I think it's pretty arrogant of you to judge EVERYONE in my neighborhood as buying things not for the sake of quality but "only because everyone else does." Speaking only on behalf of my family, it's pretty unfair that you make these judgments against us. Is that what you think when you see us on the street, or anyone who has a $700 stroller walking out of their loft building? That we have all these possessions because EVERYONE else is doing it? PLEASE.

We try to get the best that OUR money can buy for the Peanut. And yes, it's all relative, right? What we spend on the Peanut might be too extragavant for some or too shabby for others. The whole point is how do you raise a kid with good values and have them grow up knowing the value of the dollar? I can't believe anyone would imply that a child who grows up in Bayside would have better values than a child who grows up in Manhattan. It's not the real estate. It's the parenting.

And FYI, I grew up in Astoria, Queens and it was my dream to live in downtown Manhattan. And by your comments, I guess my parents didn't raise me right.

Thanks for knocking down the level of discussion that MD's site normally has.

[Grandmother]

I just read this entry and I felt compelled to comment.

First, I agree that to spend so much on a child's party is obscene.

I come from a different culture both ethnically and geographically and I work for a non profit that provides services to recent immigrants from Mexico. Many of our clients are very poor, often undocumented and illiterate. They are employed as busboys, dishwashers, hotel maids, gardeners, farm workers, and day laborers. During this time of year many are unemployed and have difficulty making the rent, paying their utilities or buying diapers. They seek us out to help them. While it is our mission to help them and we do it with grace, we often can't help but notice that the children of some of our clients (emphasize some) are wearing gold bracelets, earrings and pendants. They can't pay the rent or buy diapers but the kids are wearing 14K gold.

Another Mexican tradition is the "quinceanera" a coming out party for 15 year old girls. We'll hear of families going into debt and spending thousands of dollars they don't have or can't afford to have this party.

My point, rich or poor, regardless of ethnic background we often give our children mixed messages about money.

[www.schlipstix.biz]

MetroDad: It's "bling, bling" not "bling, bling, BLING"
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