Brown is the new black, Kanye is the new Lennon & 37 is the new 25

So...not to make a big deal out of it or anything but, this Sunday, I'll be turning 37 years old.  I'm not entirely sure how that's possible because I could swear it was only yesterday that I was just a young man wearing leather pants and running around the city.  But I checked my passport again and, sure enough, it's not a typo.  I'm definitely turning 37. 

But do you want to know the truth?  I'm really totally cool with turning 37.  Normally, I'm fairly introspective on the eve of any birthday.  But this year, I've probably been less reflective than any other year.  Turning 37 just doesn't seem to be much of a life-defining milestone for me now. 

When I turned 18, I thought it was great. In my youthful state of naivete, I mistakenly thought being eligible for the draft signified some sort of actual entry into adulthood.  Ha!

Turning 21 was also semi-eventful but only because I could drink without getting hassled (not that big of a deal but I guess I handled it better than some people.) 

Then, of course, came 25, which had all the melodramatic Sturm und Drag of the whole "Oohh...I'm a quarter of a century."

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I actually was fairly reflective.  I spent quite a bit of time trying to take stock of my affairs and contemplating how I wanted to lead the rest of my life. 

At 35, I did a little more of the same.  But it was much different because, at 35, I was pretty comfortable with whom I had become and, most importantly, I'd already found the love of my life (Yes, that's YOU, honey!)

So now I'm turning 37.  I've got a great wife and a beautiful child.  Both make me happier than I probably deserve to be.  I know I'm a lucky guy and, if you know me at all, you also know that I don't take anything for granted.  At heart, I'll always be a strangely cynical pessimist.  But what can I say?  Even I've got to admit that life is pretty good.  I've got a roof over my head.  There are a couple of steaks in the freezer.  And when I take off my shirt, I can still see my penis without holding my gut in.   

In general, I don't really know what it means to turn 37 and I've had a tough time being able to gain any real perspective on it.  So, as usual, I thought I'd make out a few lists to try and clarify things for myself. 

Here are some other 37 year-olds who make me feel kind of young and cool

Ashley Judd
Owen Wilson
Tony Hawk
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Kyle Minogue
Naomi Watts
Halle Berry
Will Smith
Billy Zane

Here are some people that (for one reason or another) I CANNOT believe are also 37

Gary Coleman
Mary Lou Retton
Celine Dion
Toni Braxton
Carnie Wilson
Ricky Lake
Barry Sanders
Vanilla Ice
Margaret Cho
Sammy Sosa

Here are some things I did when I was 25 that I'd still like to do now (if only I weren't 37)

• Grab a beer, pack the bong & rub one out every night before the 11:00 pm SportsCenter.

• Consider the celery in my Bloody Mary to be my Saturday morning breakfast.

• Fit into the aforementioned leather pants.

• Eat dinner every night over the kitchen sink.

• Spend entire weekend days lounging in bed, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and doing the NYT Sunday crossword puzzle.

• Slather Tabasco sauce on everything from pizzas to french fries to salads.

• Ski the bumps, play full-court hoops, or run 10 miles without feeling like "Big Puss"  took a tire iron to my knees.    

 

That's a relatively short list.  So basically, I guess it only reconfirms the fact that I'm feeling pretty comfortable with turning 37.  I've come to accept many things about my life and I'm totally cool with them.  I know now that I'll never fulfill my dream of pitching for the Mets.  I'll never be the youngest Mayor of New York City.  I'm not going to walk on the moon.  I probably won't be getting that PhD in history.  And I think it's pretty safe to say that I'll never be the Asian Eddie Vedder (in fact, I've probably got a better chance of being the Black Neil Diamond.) 

But I can also look back on my life so far without any major regrets.  And though there's always room for self-improvement, I know I'm trying hard every day to become the best man, husband and father that I can be.  While I may not lead my life according to the principles of any organized religion, I know I'll always be faithful to The Code.

So on the eve of my 37th birthday, I leave you the wise words of my main role model, Homer Simpson...

 "I used to rock and roll all night and everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky to find a have an hour a week in which to get funky."

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Comments

[L.]

OOf. I`m older than you, and I`m not sure I have my shit together as much as it sounds like you do.

And when I take off MY shirt, I can`t see my penis without holding my gut in. Okay, so I don`t have a penis -- but when I look straight down, I can`t see past my boobs. So sounds as if you got me beat there, too.

[Brent]

37! Damn, you're old! Just kidding, my friend. Age is just a number. Happy birthday!

[Leora]

Happy birthday, MD. You have a great weekend too!

[Stephen]

Dude! Gary Coleman & Celine Dion are 37? Weird, no? You ARE old! Just kidding. Happy b-day!

[Clare's Dad]

Here's a secret: I turned 37 this year too. I'm happy where I am, have no regrets, but for some reason 37 bothers me more than any age before this. I still tell people I'm 36. So much for the "30-something" ambiguity in my profile.

A couple other observations: Mary Lou Retton is only 37?

And you can see your penis when you take your shirt off? Weird...I have to take off my pants to do that.

[Jen]

I will be 37 in April. Happy Birthday! I think it is a very cool age to be approaching.

[Rich]

The "Code" is awesome! Every man should live by its rules. Happy Bday, Metro!

[Kris]

Happy birthday!

I always think even numbers -- 36, 38 -- sound more youthful or perky than odd numbers. 35 didn't agree with me. Is that wierd? I think I'll just stay 36.

And, 40 is the new 30, right? That's my story, anyway ...

[lesbonstemps]

Happy Birthday!

[Matthew]

Happy Birthday.

I don't know what else to say. I'm still a little moved by your "rubbed one out" comment. =)

May the next 37 be as good to you as the last 37.

Stay Young.

[landismom]

Welcome to the world of 37-hood. I'm not sure if 37 is the new 25, but I'd sure like to have the sheer free time I had when I was 25. Although I'd like to combine it with my 37 year old income, if that's possible. Hope you have a great day!

[Stacy]

Hey! I turned 37 this year, too! Why aren't I on your list?

Seriously... this one bugged the shit out of me. I still don't like talking about it.

Blech. Thanks. You probably just ruined my whole damn weekend. ;-)

[bitemycookie]

happy new year metro dad!

[Mr. Big Dubya]

Heh - all you amateurs at 37 - such young pups. Now, all of us at 38 look back fondly at that youthful age and think about what was as the hill gets steeper and steeper toward 40.

Happy B-day, dude!

[crazyvirgo]

well, MD, i'm THE ONLY 28 year old that has been counting down the days to her 30th b-day since she was 25. so, i'm jealous that you're 37. it's a much better life over thirty. i'm sure of it. it's like when you live on the 6th floor and you're just positive that life on the 20th floor has such a better view, a garbage disposal and a w/d in the apartment, you jsut can't wait until tha old person dies and you can move in.
oh yeah, and happy birthday!

[Dutch]

Shit, I hope the list of celebrities my age changes by the time I'm 37:

Dustin Diamond (screech)
Shakira
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Kanye West
Ludacris
Fiona Apple
Kerri Strug

Losers! Consider yourself lucky to be in the illustrious company of Sebastian Bach and Gary Coleman, dude. Happy Birthday!

[misfithausfrau]

Happy Birthday MD! The last great birthday I had was when I got carded on my 34th birthday for buying cigarettes. While it could have been the pigtails and the overalls, I was still thrilled to be carded and felt like a kid.

Are you sure Billy Zane isn't like 47? It just seems like he has been around in the shadows for an awfully long time...

[margalit]

Happy Birthday, you young pup. To me, at the grand old age of (gasp) 53, you're in the absolute prime of your life, with everything ahead of you. It's a great age, 37. You're wiser than in your twenties, you're settled into a good life, and you have so much to look forward to. You ARE a lucky guy. Me, I just thank God I'm still younger than Mick Jagger.

[Pope Benedict XVI]

Happy Birthday. I wish I was your age again.

[MIM]

Dutch, you're only 25?! How old is your soul??

Happy Birthday, MD!

[enygma]

Wow, I would never have guessed that you would be turning 37. And that's a good thing. Senghil chukha hamnida. :)

[CroutonBoy]

Congratulations and Happy Birthday, MD! I'm not quite there yet, but I can see it if I squint real hard. May the hair in your ears never grow long!

[peter]

If 37 is the new 25, and i'm only 26....then you and I should be drinking buddies.

Yes yes....I know....I'm a spring chicken. But I would still give you a good run for your money on those single malts mate....hey i'm an Australian, that's what we do!

[mabel]

Happy birthday MD. Mine was today (39)and I refuse to believe that I am older than Gary Coleman. Have you seen him lately? Or Vanilla Ice? Dear God! Have an awesome day! Mabel

[Richard]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD MAN! YOU ROCK!

[L.A. Daddy]

Happy birthday, Metro. Never would have guessed you were 37. You are truly young at heart. Just wanted to come out of the woods and thank you for all the endless hours of entertainment you've provided. Have a great birthday! Best wishes to you, BossLady & the Peanut!

[ShotgunDaddy]

Happy Birthday, MD. I'll be turning 36 in a few weeks, so I guess we're in the same neighborhood at least...

[momz]

Happy Birthday MD! Hooray!!!!!

[Craig]

Gary Coleman & Celine Dion are 37? That IS weird! From one 37 year-old to another...happy birthday, MD!

[ChaEsq]

happy birthday!

[Pattie]

Happy Birthday, MD! Hope your big day was a great one. Now you've got me wondering who else is my age...

[Rbrown]

MD! Happy, happy birthday, you young pup! One more list for you...the list of celebrities who share your day - all older than you:

Tatum O'Neal
Bryan Adams
Sam Shepard
Art Garfunkel
Ike Turner
Vivian Leigh
Roy Rogers

Hope your day was great and that you enjoyed some excellent, overpriced scotch!

[Queen of Ass]

Awww! Happy birthday sugar! Hope you had a great one!

[tpon]

A little belated, but punctuality is not my thing...

Happy Birthday, may the adult underwear be many, many years in your future.

[Stephen]

Happy belated, Metro. Hope you had a great birthday weekend.

[Meg]

Try sharing a year with such luminaries as:

Kate Moss
Tiffani Thiessen
Jenna Jameson
Victoria Beckham
Jewel

and so many, many more.

[Linda B]

Happy 37th!

[the weirdgirl]

Happy (late) Birthday! I hope you did something fun... and age appropriate. ;P I've found that usually involves better and better wine the older we get.

[Rachel]

Happy birthday! Never would have pegged you for 37 (that's a compliment.)

[Anne Glamore]

Happy Birthday. Wow-- those lists are shocking. I'm OLDER than Celine Dion? That ain't right.

While at 38 I'm not giving Ashley Judd a run for her money, I do think I'm aging better than Carnie Wilson, and that's strangely comforting.

[Kim]

I turned 37 this year, my friend. Hook up with us when we're in NYC this weekend, and we'll drink a toast to 37 -- the new 25!

[CityMama]

Happy Birthday! I'm 36, but I got carded tonight! Woo hoo!

[Blast from the past]

Happy birthday, you old fuck! I can't believe we're both 37. Seems like yesterday we were turning 21 out in Cali.

Guess who?

[Jason]

Belated happy birthday, bitch. Hug it out.

[panthergirl]

Oh MAN!!! I'm sorry I missed the b'day! But seriously, dude... 37 is baby stuff. ;)

Hope it was wonderful.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
PG

[stevetown express]

i'm 31 and i still grab a beer, pack the bong & rub one out every night before the 11:00 pm SportsCenter.

when do i stop doing that?

[Rinex]

Can you please make a post or sitenode whenever you update your store!! I look every now and then but most of em are always sold out! :( I can't remember the name of the one I liked either! :((

[Kristina]

Ah! Happy birthday to your mom and over here in British-land, it's moehtr's day! So that's most apt. (It's also my daddy's birthday today so I've had an odd father/moehtr's day)