« There's no crying in baseball (or is there?) | Main | Cause and Effect »

January 18, 2005

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Kristie

OMG I'm dying laughing!

I formula fed both of my kids so I didn't have TAE's. They pooped little gold balls because the iron constipated them.

Solid food poop? ACK! When they start eating solid food the poop starts to stink. Like people poop and not baby poop.

The diaper log is a good idea. I never would have thought of that.

Marcus

LOL!!! That is too funny, Metro! I know what you mean though. The same thing would happen with our son. The wife and I referred to it as Mt. St. Helens (we live in Washington State). Never ceased to amaze us.

BTW, you SHOULD write that book. Cause I'd really like to know what to do when the dog starts going after our son's poop. Happens all the time.

Jen

If books told new parents that they would be cleaning poop out of their baby's hair from a shit missile (what you referred to as TAE's), would they really take their baby's home?

My daughter had a milk intolerance the first year, and if I ate anything with the tiniest amount of milk in it (such as bread, hotdogs, cereal, etc..) her ass would blow with such a force it made me shudder. I would hear it slam against the bottom of the diaper and within seconds, it would be up her back, out of the top of her collar, and into her hair. Once, while cleaning up one of these messes, my hubby was lifting her legs up (while on the changing table) to clean her butt, when another round of crap came catapulting out. I happened to be walking into the room, and from 4 feet away, I was blasted with the crap. That was a very low point in my career as a new parent.

Jen

If books told new parents that they would be cleaning poop out of their baby's hair from a shit missile (what you referred to as TAE's), would they really take their baby's home?

My daughter had a milk intolerance the first year, and if I ate anything with the tiniest amount of milk in it (such as bread, hotdogs, cereal, etc..) her ass would blow with such a force it made me shudder. I would hear it slam against the bottom of the diaper and within seconds, it would be up her back, out of the top of her collar, and into her hair. Once, while cleaning up one of these messes, my hubby was lifting her legs up (while on the changing table) to clean her butt, when another round of crap came catapulting out. I happened to be walking into the room, and from 4 feet away, I was blasted with the crap. That was a very low point in my career as a new parent.

Bonnie

I'm with Kristie! Actual baby turds smell awful. I think it's because of their developing digestive systems. But I am glad that we don't have to deal with the Total Ass Explosions anymore. Those always grossed me out. Sometimes, I felt like everytime I changed my daughter's diaper, I was also mopping the floor. Seems so funny when I look back on it now. It wasn't at the time though.

Amy

So true Metro. So true. We have just introduced solids to our 4 month old daughter and the "outcome" really is surprising. Seriously, who knew that orange veggies + breast milk = green toothpasty poo? And the smell, WHOA. Write the book, please. My husband would have loved the warning had it been available.

Jenny

Ahhh, that brings me back to the days..lol.
There was one time in particular that we went on a road trip to Dallas..a 17 hour road trip...and my 11 month old daughter had a T.A.E. all the way up her back and into her hair..aaaand, down her legs caking her clothes. We stopped at a gas station on the Kansas toll highway, which are few and far between..she had good timing! While I was cleaning up her T.A.E. an armed police women comes in and checks all the stalls, while I am standing there at the little pull out changer, looking around to see what the hell she is looking for. Then she goes out and and brings this shackled teenager in..shackled..hands cuffed to ankles..I was thinking..yeah, great time to have an ass explosion! Anyway, the girl stops and looks at all the shit,then looks at the huge pile of wipes, then looks at me and says..THAT is what I have to look forward to?!Turns out she was preggers... She had a look of shear terror on her face!

David

Metro - write the damn book. Your perspective is awesome. ALthough it scares the crap out of me (pun intended) because we're having our first in May.

Short Story Dude (David)

Hank

We called them Assplosions. And I'll second the comment that real-food poop smells way worse than breast milk poop. But I'll take the smell if that's what it takes to leave the Assplosions behind (pun!). The thing that amazed with both my boys is how I can be in the same room with a person who has a diaper-load of stinky stinky poo and have to look into the diaper for visual confirmation before I'm really certain that it's diaper changing time.

chunky

I found you through angryasianman.com and I'm hooked! where do you come up with such clever titles for your blogs?

Beth

You should write that book, Metro. Too funny!

Dr. Johnny fever

What about the TAEs that come with whole, undigested raisins or black beans. Guh-narly!

Christina

Metro-I will take the smelly ones over the TAE's any day!! I don't miss the burn the clothes vs. wash them debate at all. It is horrible to try to clean the crap stains off their adoarable little clothes. First time poster from Chicago-LOVE your blog!

Yvonne

When my daughter was about 2 months old, my fiance was changing her diaper as I was changing my clothes (yeah for spit-up) and I heard, "HOLY SHIT!! IT HIT THE WALL!! BABY, SHE HIT THE WALL WITH HER POOP!!!!!!!" I went running into the nursery and my little darling had sneezed at the exact time he had removed her diaper and the shit went flying. It was over the entire wall, the lamp and my poor fiance. I was laughing so hard I was crying. He didn't find it so funny. Now that we've started her on solids (she's 7 months now) her poop is real poop. Like real people. Like real stinky. At least before she wasn't as smelly.

maiji

delurking for a minute to say how appropriate your code is.... tae in my country really means "poop"

i enjoy reading your entries... reminds me of my baby's early months and our experiences....

keep on writing!

Pink Poppy

Hello! I am here on behalf of the membership of The Poppy Club. We appreciate the fabulosity of your blog and congratulate you on your recent success in The Best of Blogs Award competition. We are hosting a party to celebrate you and your fellow finalists and would be honored if you would join us to walk the Red Carpet and greet your fans:

Friday, Saturday and Sunday--January 21-23
The Tall Poppy Diaries
http://tall-poppy-diaries.blogspot.com

Attire: Black Tie
Red Carpet Opens at 12:01 on Friday, January 21

We hope that you and your friends can join us. And again, please accept our congratulations and best wishes for a very successful and happy 2005.

MomToOne

I can't remember what we called the poop up the back thing, maybe just that . . . But in my house, when poop hit the wall it was Projectile Poop. And 4 years later the memory is vivid!

MomToOne

I can't remember what we called the poop up the back thing, maybe just that . . . But in my house, when poop hit the wall it was Projectile Poop. And 4 years later the memory is vivid!

Aphrodite Undercover

Incidentally, "TAE" is "poo" in the Filipino vernacular. You nailed that one right in the noggin', Metro . Cheers from Manila!

kate

In case you were wondering "what the hell do I do with all this baby shit?", here's a website that suggests that you put it up your own butt:

http://curezone.com/cleanse/enema/#What_is_Fecal_Flora_Replacement

It's good for what ails ya!

John

Projectile poo! I was so proud of my daughter one time she did it that I actually took photos of the poo-stained wall in her room...

hgvkhGzhvzhj

buck09

I was googling for "how to clean baby poop carpet" - your post came up first.

I am afraid that my child has broken Newton's third law of motion: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

By all accounts, the amount of force required to shoot bright yellow watery fecal matter six feet across the room should have been more than enough to propel him headfirst off the changing table.

Yet he remained in place with a decidedly content look on his face. After a lot of scrubbing, the poo finally came out of the carpet, which now has an unsightly new-carpet-clean spot where the crap gernade landed.

E!

I, too, was googling for "clean baby poop from carpet" and came across this post. After a good laugh though, I needed to go look up how to actually get the shit off the carpet, since my son had a TAE not 5 minutes ago and the stink if fresh on my fingers. SO - to celan the poop: mix one cup of water to 1 tsp each of dish detergent and white vinegar. Do the blot/scrub thing, and then be thankful that it's only on the carpet and not somewhere *really* bad, say, in your mouth. (Let's just say it was a true TAE nightmare).

Keno

Good site! Keno, [url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/Play-Keno-Online-Games/journal/]Keno[/url], free Keno, [url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/Play-Keno-Online-Games/journal/560150/free_keno/]free Keno[/url], Blackjack, [url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/Online-Blackjack-Casinos/journal/]Blackjack[/url], Black Jack, [url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/Online-Blackjack-Casinos/journal/539457/online_black_jack_-_play_over_25_versions_of_online_black_jack/]Black Jack[/url].

seohsuwm

[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-cialis-online.html]buy cialis online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-tramadol-online.html]buy tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-viagra-online.html]buy viagra online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-valium-online.html]buy valium online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-levitra-online.html]buy levitra online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-phentermine.html]buy phentermine[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-viagra.html]buy viagra[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-cialis.html]buy cialis[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-tramadol.html]order tramadol[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-viagra.html]order viagra[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-cialis-online.html]order cialis online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-viagra-online.html]order viagra online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-tramadol-online.html]order tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-levitra.html]order levitra[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-valium.html]order valium[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-cialis.html]buy cialis[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-soma-online.html]buy soma online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-soma.html]order soma[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-viagra.html]cheap viagra[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/tramadol-online.html]tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-cialis.html]cheap cialis[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-tramadol.html]cheap tramadol[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-xanax.html]cheap xanax[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-phentermine.html]cheap phentermine[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-valium.html]cheap valium[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/buy-tramadol-online.html]buy tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-tramadol-online.html]cheap tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-viagra-online.html]cheap viagra online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-adipex-online.html]cheap adipex online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-ativan-online.html]cheap ativan online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-ambien-online.html]cheap ambien online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-cialis-online.html]cheap cialis online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-hydrocodone-online.html]cheap hydrocodone online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-phentermine-online.html]cheap phentermine online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-acyclovir-online.html]cheap acyclovir online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-celexa-online.html]cheap celexa online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-levitra-online.html]cheap levitra online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-ultram-online.html]cheap ultram online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-vicodin-online.html]cheap vicodin online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-viagra-soft-tabs-online.html]cheap viagra soft tabs online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-xenical-online.html]cheap xenical online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/cheap-meridia-online.html]cheap meridia online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-albenza-online.html]order albenza online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-alprazolam-online.html]order alprazolam online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-amoxicillin-online.html]order amoxicillin online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-cymbalta-online.html]order cymbalta online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-xanax-online.html]order xanax online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-propecia-online.html]order propecia online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-soma-online.html]order soma online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-tramadol-online.html]order tramadol online[/url]
[url=http://seo.ohsu.edu/images/order-viagra-online.html]order viagra online[/url]

Pyroifyibouri

arkansas small business administration

3High dividend ETFs have lagged the market, especially popular DVY. This may be the best
argument yet for owning high dividend ETFs as they appear likely to cushion an equities fall

Cawayimmalm

http://www.hyip-catalog.com

I invested money in some programs which are placed on this site.
It is written that it is the program which helps make money online.



It really works?


http://www.hyip-catalog.com

ffpfois

[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/christmas/gnr57/]Christmas[/url]
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/folk-balkanian/gnr186/]Folk:
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/folk-latin/gnr473/]folk:
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/jazz-crossover-jazz/gnr31/]Jazz:
Jazz[/url]
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/metal-power/gnr456/]Metal:
music[/url]
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/rock-fusion/gnr103/]Rock:
[url=http://mp3sunrise.com/rock-new-wave/gnr120/]Rock:

blueterce


Aus blénken Blieder Schuebersonndeg as, oft de Bass duurch Himmel. [URL=http://jacquelynebegby189.tripod.com/portland-malls/podcast-pickle-digitalsl.html]podcast pickle digitalsl[/URL]

briltroaloult

Hello!
Look here>

[url=http://imlive.com/wmaster.asp?WID=124298039775&linkID=702&gotopage=homepage2.asp&promocode=BCODE6E7H8HEE_00000][img]http://pussycash.com/Content/Banners/imlive/banner_a53.gif[/img][/url]

MdicialviewStics

Hello
I don't know what happend? Where are you many?
Bye

alqdvykc

How do I get my work into the Library of Congress

DDT-MODELS

You own my respect and gratitude. Thanks to your hard labour and persistance we have a magnificent web and together with other standards an easy to use enviroment. Thank you!

Layecuddeda


Generally speaking, the average fitness enthusiast has very little desire to ever look like a bodybuilder.

Salmeflalueva


You may freely reprint this information on your website provided the following caption remains intact.

broofsCaf

Good site
Good luck the web designer.

genry

vLWhYG f8405v845f42mdpc8oa

Rvyymmve

Very funny pictures gay ass rape =-DD

Bmrcxhak

this is be cool 8) free porn video :PP

Ttxsjste

good material thanks acetanalid >:-]

Yiqxihfk

Gloomy tales monstercocks 423

Bmtdhcse

Punk not dead cheap airline tickets flying with a dog 352

Jdcyqebl

cheap tickets to new york ezx

jonn

grererret

sandra

GXlXAv gjsRt3i9fkls03GsAc

Gorrdon

Adult Voyeur - World Wide Wives has everything for the Voyeur enthusiast, free voyeur pictures, voyeur videos,
and real life profiles of women and men from around the world

mishkamiha

Its my world $)I ts my world $)Its my world $)I ts m
y world $)Its my world $)I ts my world $)Its my world $)I ts my world $)

harriss

Name=http://grekigal.narod.ru/
Buy movies and films.It's just wonderful.downloads movies,buy very cheap a movies. Less then 1.99$ for a complete movie! Buy all quality movies. DVD, PDA, DivX, iPod formats. More than 30 000 movies of all genres and years! Download Movies Online=buy moviesbuy movieshttp://grekigal.narod.ru/[url=http://grekigal.narod.ru/]buy movies[/url]
[email protected] Country=greece
Age=23
City=tib
ICQ=255863147
Job=shop
Phone=991847211123
Title=buy movies

insurance-live

EagleSpeak: Somali Pirates: Insurance issues
2009-01-05 04:35:23 eaglespeak.us
Mr Gilman - editor of Arnould's Law of Marine Insurance, published by Sweet & Maxwell - said that because it was often very difficult to verify accurately the number of pirates involved in an attack, it could lead to legal conflicts. ...
insurance
http://uusite.livejournal.com/

The comments to this entry are closed.

I also blog at...

Bookmark and Share

September 2017

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Blog powered by Typepad