Got milk!!!

The BossLady and I went out to dinner tonight in Tribeca. One of our neighbors had opened a new restaurant across the street that we wanted to try so we hired a sitter to watch the Peanut while we snuck out for a quick meal together. Clearly, I was excited by my brief re-entry into adult civilization so I ended up having a few scotches at dinner. Now, having a few scotches during dinner is one thing but it's usually the scotches I have during dessert that get me in trouble. The BossLady is a smart woman and knows this about me. So it should come as no surprise that during dessert, it "somehow" came up that we should go home so I could drink some of her breast milk.

Now before I go any further, let me just say that this is not normally our idea of weekend fun. Due to our newborn baby's sleeping habits, I think the wife and I are a little delirious from lack of sleep. But in our previous life, we probably would have enjoyed our dinner together and then gone out to join some of our friends for an evening of cocktails and conversation. Maybe even some dancing.

But things are different now. Very different.

So where was I? Oh yes, the breast milk drinking story. Well, I'd like to say that it was truly in the interest of science that compelled me to drink some of the BossLady's breast milk tonight. But really, it was just sheer curiosity. And let me tell you something else. I'll be damned if it wasn't the some of the best milk I'd ever tasted!!! Seriously! It was fucking delicious!

It helped that I was a little buzzed from dinner but it was exactly like some of you said it would be...sweet and tasty. It tasted like the sugar-flavored milk at the bottom of the cereal bowl. I don't think the melted ice cream analogy was accurate. It was kind of like if you had taken regular milk and added a few packets of Equal. Mmm mmm. Milk. It really does do a body good.

FYI...I didn't drink it straight from "the tap." We thought that would be a little disturbing. I drank it from a porcelain sake glass. And I had a Snickers bar afterwards. Quite a nice combination.

Stay tuned until next week when we determine whether it's true that you can shoot breast milk across the length of an entire room! (See comments in the post below). That's right, folks. MetroDad...not just parenting humor but science too!

Comments

[Mellie Helen]

Oh, it's true, alright.

Shortly after the arrival of my son, once the colostrum turned to white milk, the ol' glands were working overtime to produce the sweet liquid and the tanks were rather, er, full. Sweet lil' baby was asleep and therefore not about to feed at the moment. What to do...DH was in the dinnig room on the phone. Talking to a client. In Full Work Mode. I was in the kitchen. Ready...aiiiiim....FIRE!

Hee hee! While his face and reactions told of his surprised amusement, he victoriously kept his "business voice" the whole time. Kudos, dear.

[Terri]

I still find all of this awkwardly disturbing... but fucking hilarious!

[Andrea R]

It's gotta be a full breast, primed right about at let-down time for maximum squirtage.

[L.A. Daddy]

You're too funny, Dude! The missus and I KNEW you were going to try drinking breast milk this weekend. Weren't you surprised by how much it tasted like regular milk? just a little sweeter!

[Jerry Scott]

I would had drink her breast milk to,but I can not find women like that if I could I would like it very much.

[Marty]

why all the fear about breast milk? I bet cows don't spend all this time thinking about it. If it were me , I'd ask for the tap. (unless it was my mother or something) lol.

To ensure that your baby is eating often enough, you should wake him up if it has been four hours since the last time he has been fed. Getting comfortable Feedings can take 40 minutes or longer, therefore you'll want a cozy spot. You don't want to be sitting somewhere where you will be bothered, as it can make the process very hard

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