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I'm just a 35 year-old NYC guy writing about his journey into fatherhood. The coming birth of my first child spurred me to start a blog in order to chronicle the misanthropic misadventures that are sure to follow. Ever since I found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter, I've spent countless nights contemplating how to raise a beautiful, kind, intelligent, well-adjusted child in New York City. And also trying to figure out how to do that while retaining our hedonistic lifestyle. Because though I've lived all over the country and traveled all over the world, I've spent most of my life as a jaded Manhattanite whose selfish, gluttonous and libertine needs persevered over all others. So to put it mildly, things are about to change drastically.

Anyway, as I was saying, this blog will essentially be about my experiences as a new father. But of course, I've never met a microphone I didn't like. So be prepared to hear the ravings of a jaded, cynical New Yorker, whose scathing, conceited, judgemental, spontaneous ramblings will purport to evidence the ineptness of mankind as it exists in NY.

As for other random MetroDad details...I'm a French-named, speed-reading, former public policy analyst now trapped in the body of a Asian-American fashion executive. I've ridden elephants in Sri Lanka, imbibed snake venom in China, skiied the Italian Dolomites, eaten barbecue in Pakistan, travelled to every state except North Dakota, visited 28 out of 32 major league ballparks, worshipped at the altar of Graceland 5 times and have shut down most of the nightclubs in Paris. That being said, I still get lost every time I go through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Though I'm entering my late 30's, I can still rip backhands down the line, hit a curveball, ski the bumps, shoot in the low 90's and rain 3-pointers. At the same time, I'm starting to forget things, I can't see my ass without my glasses and I've most definitely lost the ability to party on back-to-back nights.

It's safe to say that we'd probably get along if you can truly appreciate the real beauty in...a good Peking duck, Sunday's NYT crossword, nice manners, Scrabble, Law & Order, spontaneous travel, Otoro, Jim Jarmusch, Tabasco sauce, Morrissey, Haruki Murakami, Peets coffee, Radiohead, listening to baseball games on the radio, Thievery Corporation, X-Men comics, fresh powder, Southern BBQ, Christopher Hitchens, bloomin' onions, mid-century design, the warmth of a good scotch, a great day spent fishing where you didn't catch a damn thing...

On a related note, I'd like to believe that I probably have absolutely nothing in common with another human being who really loves any of the following: pro bass fishing on tv, NASCAR, low carb Cabernet, Kathey Griffin, Microsoft, the Olsens, Applebees, Jessica Simpson, romance novels, tofu bacon, Pamela Anderson, ballet, "Survivor" or HUMMERs. Similarly, I could also never be friends with someone who mixes up "they're", "there", and "their". I will give you a smidge of credit if you know the difference between "if" and "whether". But if you leave any participles dangling, we're breaking up.

In conclusion, let me just say...

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
(The Designated Hitter Rule has got to go)

-July 2004