CHAOS THEORY: December 2011

Random thoughts on a Monday night...

MERRY BIRTHDAY HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Every holiday season, I struggle a bit over how to explain Christmas to the Peanut.

Generally speaking, I am wholly unqualified to have this conversation with my daughter. Being somewhat immature and fairly agnostic, I often celebrate Christmas by singing "Happy birthday, Baby Jesus!" all day long and toasting God's only son with a glass of single-malt scotch while acting surprised when opening presents that I've bought for myself.

Ideally, I'd like to deemphasize both the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas. Although I struggle with my own faith, I think it's semi-important to try and frame Christmas in terms of the Nativity and the day that Jesus was born. However, at the age of seven, the only Jesus whom the Peanut knows is the parking garage attendant down the block. Things could get a little confusing. I really need to start taking her to church one of these days.

At the same time, I'd also like to forgo too many discussions about Santa. The Peanut is only seven years old and I'm quite sure that she does not yet need to be concerned about omnipotent mythical father figures making value judgments about her behavior. On the flip side? Pretending to call Santa on my cell phone has stopped many a tantrum in mid-stride.

So to sum up: no religion, light on Santa. What's left?

Essentially, I'd like to convey to her that the true spirit of Christmas is love, peace, and good will towards men. I'd like to explain to her that Christmas is a time of celebrating life with one's friends and family.

And naturally, I have no desire to withold from her all the fun festivities associated with the holiday season: Christmas trees, stockings on the mantel, egg nogg, chocolate Advent calendars, and Santa's cookie plate. Plus, I'll be the first to admit it; I fucking love Christmas music. Little Drummer Boy? I listen to that shit all year round.

It's a fine line, isn't it?

I'm thinking of doing a demonstration with some sock puppets. Or maybe I can find an "Elmo Loves Christmas" DVD. I hate that little red furry bastard but he's been helpful in the past (see "Toilet Training: 2004.") Or maybe there's something on youtube?

Anyone got any good ideas?  Help a brother out.

 

MEANINGLESS CONFESSIONS

1. Between Michael Pollan and the plethora of food documentaries to which I've become addicted, I can no longer put anything in my mouth unless I know its provenance. Sometimes I open my mouth and I'm shocked to hear myself speak: Are these free-range chickens? Is the fish wild or farm-raised? Are these avocados organic? Is there any gluten in the kale salad? Somewhere in the heavens, my tough-as-nails Korean ancestors are sighing heavily.

2. I have tried to like Kings of Leon many times and have failed. I'm now giving up.

3. Am I the only one who is genuinely surprised to discover that I wasn't the lucky person to win the previous night's lottery?

4. I just bought a crockpot.

 

LITERARY

1. Thus far, Jeffrey Eugenides' "The Marriage Plot" wins my vote for best book of the year. The “marriage plot” referred to in the title is a term literary theorists use to label novels of courtship; think Jane Austen, Eliot and Anthony Trollope. The protagonist, Madeline Hanna, is writing her college thesis on the subject. Not coincidentally, at the end of the day, this novel is really nothing more than an elegantly-written, old-fashioned story centered around Madeline and her two suitors. They simply don't write books like this anymore. What makes it such an exceptional novel is that Eugenides is a superbly gifted storyteller who writes as if he has nothing to prove and by doing so, shows that he may be the great American writer many have suspected him of being.

2. Overhyped Book of the Year: "The Art of Fielding" by Chad Harbach. All the critics seemed to love this debut novel by one of literary mag N + 1's co-founders and I eagerly awaited its arrival on my doorstep. While brilliant at times, it ultimately disappointed. Was it the underdevelopment of the main characters? Was it the sophomoric portrayal of human relationships? Was it the lack of humor pervading story? I'm not quite sure. Nor do I really care.

3. I have just started Haruki Murakami's "1Q84," his 928-page surreallist novel tackling the themes of murder, history, cult religion, violence, family ties and love. While I am a huge Murakami fan, this one doesn't strike me as a breezy page turner. 

4. I'm also reading Spalding Grey's memoirs. Incredibly written but can only be read in short doses. Since we all know how the story ends (suicide,) it's a bit like having lunch with Sylvia Plath every day.

 

GOOGLE IS MY SANTA CLAUS

Lest one think from my earlier musings that I am some sort of Scrooge or a grinch, I respectfully disagree.

As far as the Peanut is concerned, there really is a Santa Claus and he is solely responsible for all those magical presents that miraculously appear underneath the tree on Christmas morning. I cherish every single moment with my daughter but there are few things that make me as happy as seeing her beautiful face light up with glee when she wakes up on Christmas morning and runs to the tree to see what Santa has brought her.

Every year, I have the Peanut write a letter to Santa explaining why she's been a good kid and what she would like for Christmas.

This year, her list includes a karaoke machine, Paper Jamz, Zoobles, Polly Pocket, Arthur Christmas, Air Swimmers, Sing-A-Ma-Jigs, and a Doggie Doo.

Aside from the karaoke machine, I literally have no fucking idea what the hell she is talking about. It's like she's speaking a foriegn language. Suddenly I'm having flashbacks to being a little kid and seeing the blank expressions on my immigrant parents' faces when I endlessely blathered on about Coleco game machines, Brite-Lites, Masters of the Universe action figures, Gobots, and a Rubik's Cube. How could they not know about these things?

Sigh...

Part of me wants to pay it forward by just getting her a full set of Encyclopedia Britannica, a $20 bill, and a new Mighty-Mac jacket.

On the flip side, my daughter has me wrapped me around her little finger so my Amazon shopping cart is already locked and loaded. 

Yes, Peanut.

There really is a Santa Claus.

 

Comments

[Rainbow]

I would like to join or subscribe to your felt siertos but I really want to make some of your materials to do with the children. Does a subscription give me resources to print out so that I can use your ideas with the children? I am most interested in your felt story about Healthy Eater, healthy eater what do you see. I want to print it out and use it. I will subscribe if it comes with this feature to print out too.

[Craig]

Teresa Thanks so much for sharing your beuutifal photographs. My children are all teenagers now and we never visited the North Pole on the Polar Express. It looks like they had a wonderful time. Happy New Year and I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

[Baciu]

I am so right there with you on this, Jenn! I enjoy Christmas traditions but this year my heart has been puelld to remember the real reason for CHRISTmas. :) I'm preparing my heart for the celebration of our Savior as well. Thanks for sharing!

[Kieanna]

Hey Eric, last year we made an exception due to the fact that we were sold out of that years shirt. We didn’t want to exlcdue anybody from entering the competition because the shirts were sold out. I remember your beard, you defiantly got a shot at the prize is you enter!

[Jeegar]

Sanata Barbara! I'm jealous!I hope you have a woerdnul trip. I feel your pain as I am leaving my little one for just 2 nights and even though I haven't even left yet I miss him! It's good for us, right?

[Ciska]

Hi there i live in a freeview area, i am thkining of buying this Arial do you think that i would get a high reception with this? It's kind of expensive now would you recommend it because i want to be able to watch my Freeview HD Channels In Crystal Quality!!!Reply back ASAP!!!Thanks!

[Cavaleiros]

so if i connect this to my sky set top box (which isn't a sky hd box, just the sradnatd version)via the coxial cable. Would i then be able to access, the free to air hd channels i.e. viewing sports matches on the bbc in hd via the red button? thanks

[Andit]

hi davo, ive been looking for a pduorct like this for this for ages since we moved into a new build house with no aerial and are simply using sky to pick up channels but we then have no tv upstairs. Does this box pick up freesat hd channels?

[Air Jordans]

my friend. i bought many shoes from online shop. you can take a look. tks very much,.

From : http://www.nasneakers.com

[Nike Air Max 2012 Sale]

MetroDad, COME BACK!!!

[Martin]

- Ah god Jim & Liz how special are these pics thank you for shnriag them with us, she is beautiful! Imagine you are going to be grandparents! You are far too young! Jim Louise is the image of you. Monica will be thrilled to see these i will show them to her. its great to feel like we can feel part of what is happening even though we are a few feet away xxx

[Samael]

Thank you so much for linking up your leolvy project at Get Schooled Saturday. We will be open for business again Friday night-Sunday night!Kim @ Too Much Timewww.kim-toomuchtimeonmyhands.blogspot.com

[Bella]

Scott_NJ / ANOTHER Great article! Can not wait for the MKOC tour to start! Can't wait to hear the new song my kind of Christmas and ALL the orhets! I'll be in Stroudsburg, SLC and Beaver Creek! So glad David is no with a label right now and love his ideas and thoughts about his music! I am now and will always be a fan and support him no matter what direction he decides to go!

[cheap jersey]

The house is absolutely brkaahtteing I like the open spaces and looks as if my husband who is a disabledViet Nam Veteran could very easily get around in his wheel chair or with his artifical legs. The views are wonderful, a place to think and a place to live !! I live in South Carolina with plenty of trees but these views can almost make up for the lack of full trees. Love it, a Dream Home !! Thank you, Estban for allowing us to see where you lived and a place that really speaks of you.

[Nicole]

Erin, it was lovely mnetieg and shooting with you! Thank you so much! We couldn't be happier with the pictures. And shooting my parents together meant the world to me so thank you for that as well. Happy Holidays!

[Amel]

Katie Bork - Weezie, these are fantastic! I love the one of him hldiong the 12m tag making a silly face. I bet this is a face mom and dad see often and now that face is captured forever!!!February 2, 2011 3:41 pm

[Gennady]

Hi Kat, looks like a ovely week. My kids love their Globes too. Your shoes are killer, love em.Been snwoed under here with kiddies birthdays.late dude, Niki[]

[Lindah]

Ohhh, what a sweet little danrilg, and a beautiful mummy and sister too. I loooove the image of him playing with his chubby feet, I adore how babies do that. Gorgeous Bel.

[Gabriel]

Hello Keighley St Andrew’s CE School,Hope you reach 1000+ have retweeted msseage so hope people visit and will mention to my school.Good luck and a very Merry Christmas xxxx

[Gennady]

Wow, amazing card. Love the tri-fold style and your bteuaiful design on the front, especially the die cut panel with the script stamp! So happy you could play along this week with the OCC!

[Lidia]

Hi Anne. You're right: he's a keeper. I like how he wriets!I loved FNL last night. It had an aching beauty to it that made me want to watch it again. Landry's pain was palpable...it's likely a thread that will continue to show up throughout the season. That is, IF there's a season.