Wow, it's been more than 3 months since I've posted here. I have to admit that I've thought about just shutting down this site. Like everything else in my life right now, I've had mixed emotions about the whole thing. To be quite honest, does anyone even read blogs anymore?
Or as my boy Kanye said, "Do anybody make real shit anymore?
At the end of the day, I miss writing in this space. After all these years, this is the place that feels like home. I've loved developing real-life relationships that wouldn't have existed had I not started writing here in the first place. It's something I never expected and has definitely added an interesting wrinkle to my life.
But enough with this emo shit. Let's get down to brass tacks, yo.
SIX GOING ON STRANGE
The Peanut is 6.5 years old. Sometimes I think that if she makes it to 7, it will be a miracle. Her need to argue and plead every case often makes me wonder whether she's the illegitimate love-child of Atticus Finch and Gloria Allred. Plus, she's at that annoying age where she thinks she's right about absolutely everything. Drives me freaking bonkers. I do have to admit though that the stuff that comes out of her mouth these days is pretty hilarious:
"Wake up, homeboy. It's time to make me some breakfast."
"If I had a million dollars, I'd quit school and just watch TV all day.
"Hey, do me a favor? Make me a BLT but without the lettuce and the tomato?"
"Well, you say that you're going to be married forever but that didn't really happen to you the first time around, did it?"
"Even though you're wearing a hat, I can still tell you have an enormous head."
"The craziest people in the world are 6-year-old boys."
ON MALE BLOGGING: WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE?
Part of the reason I considered shutting down this site is because I find myself slightly disillusioned about the public over-sharing, diary-like, confessional, first-person blog writing that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent.
Especially among men and fellow dad bloggers.
Don't get me wrong. As long-time readers know, I've painfully bared my soul here plenty of times.
On the one hand, it's enlightening to see more and more men of a certain age with the emotional intelligence to be able to introspectively write about the issues that affect their lives. This has never really happened before. When it first started happening, it was regarded with gravity and respect. It was openly naked first-person essay writing and it was practically a watershed moment.
But it was rarely appreciated under the blogging format. To call it blogging would have cheapened it.
Why? Because let's face it. Blogging is a medium designed for memes, emo tumblr photos, inspirational quotes, and the internal musings of disaffected 23-year-old women and stay-at-home moms.
Is sharing feelings how men are supposed to act online?
As a recent Village Voice article put it:
"Men shouldn't whine or feel pain and they certainly shouldn't fucking cry, according to left-over cultural expectations lodged in the heads of even social progressives, feminists, children of the liberal arts. And there's a certain self-consciousness that comes with being a male online. Where have all the cowboys gone? What would our grandfathers think of us, pining for a partner or "Why me-ing?" about health concerns to strangers? And who do we look to for proper example? There are only so many words written by Dan Savage, and we've been told to avoid Tucker Max."
I don't have the answers to these questions.
A METRODAD QUIZ: REAL OR FAKE SLATE.COM ARTICLES?
1. "Mary Gates & Karen Zuckerberg Weren't Tiger Moms: Is Amy Chua Bad for the U.S. Economy?"
2. "The End of the Mancession: Why Women Are the Economy's Biggest Losers"
3. "The Mecca of the Mouse: Can an Adult Man Have Fun at DisneyWorld Alone?"
4. "Do 3-D Glasses Work on Cats?"
5. "Bite Me: An Evolutionary Case for Cannibalism"
THREE IDEAS FOR TELEVISION SHOWS
1. "The Shores of Jersey": A reality show following around a closely-knit group of septuagenarians living in a house together on the Isle of Jersey. When they're not knitting shetland sweaters and peeling potatoes, they're doing body shots of whiskey and fist-pumping dolphins.
2. "Under the Big Top": We have reality shows about every profession. How has nobody ever done one about a circus? There's so much I NEED to know. How often does the bearded lady shave? Exactly how much midget sex is going on? Is it true that when elephants get pissed, they pee on people? C'mon, people. Let's make this happen!
3. "For Womb the Bell Tolls": Medical drama/soap opera about life in a maternity ward. Screaming mothers, freaked-out dads, jaded nurses, weird doctors, and babies born with webbed feet.
THREE GENERATIONS & THE DILUTION OF OTHERNESS
As I've written about many times, it was always a little discomfiting to grow up straddled between two cultures. Having been raised by Korean immigrant parents who weren't wholly versed in the ways of modern American life certainly made for an interesting childhood.
Aside from constantly feeling the pressures of being torn by two different cultures, I also had to deal with friends coming over, opening our fridge, smelling kimchi and yelling, "Yo, man. Your house fucking stinks!"
But two of the great benefits of adulthood are perspective and hindsight. Despite all the teenage angst I might have had at the time, I now think it's hilariously funny during those moments when I realize that the apple never really does fall far from the tree.
Even to this day, someone will talk about sleeping with a fan on in the bedroom and I'll yell out, "Sleeping with a fan on? Are you fucking crazy? That's the leading cause of death!"
Or when my daughter is sick, I literally bury her under 20 blankets so she can "sweat it out."
(By the way, unless you have insane Asian parents, you're probably not going to understand why those two things are so funny.)
In a similar fashion, I always laugh because whenever Donald Duck's name comes up, a Finnish buddy of mine will yell out, "Do you know he's banned in Finnland because he doesn't wear pants?"
Raising my third-generation Korean-American daughter, I often wonder to myself, "How much does one's culture get diluted over time?"
I'm starting to realize that even though she's only 6, at some level my daughter is clearly already cognizant of all of this. For the past two years, she's been eating the lunch provided by school. However, lately we've been talking about me making her lunches to take to school. One of the recent times we were having that conversation, she said, "Ok, Daddy, but none of that weird stuff."
"What kind of weird stuff?"
"No eel. No seaweed. No octopus. No pork chops. I just want sandwiches, chips and a juice box."
What?! She LOVES eel, seaweed, octopus, and pork chops.
Having suffered from the wary looks from my fellow elementary school friends when my mom sent me to school with Japanese bento boxes and chopsticks, I wholeheartedly empathize with my daughter's desire to fit in and assimilate among her peers. In one's youth, there is rarely as powerful of an emotional dilemma than the need to be just like everyone else. I get it, kiddo. The nail that sticks out is the one that gets hammered down.
But never in a million years did I ever think I would feel so sad about it.
I do.
Welcome back! Mwah!
My only child is a lot like a lawyer, too. She fully expects to make her case, negotiate, and if push comes to shove, she's got court reporter transcripts of what you ACTUALLY said. Drives me batshit crazy, and yet...I love the mind on her. I'll bet you feel the same about the Peanut.
Posted by: Celeste | April 27, 2011 at 12:36 PM
I've missed you, MD! Please don't take such a long sabbatical again. It always makes my day when I see a new post from you in my google reader!
Posted by: Janie | April 27, 2011 at 01:21 PM
I guess I don't read enough blogs to know what over-sharing male writers you're talking about. And honestly, who cares? I don't think anyone would characterize you that way. I have been checking this blog on and off for the past 3 effing months because I love your biting, cynical, intelligent, sarcastic ass.
Don't stop.
Posted by: Marie | April 28, 2011 at 04:38 PM
Keep the blogs going
My daughter is 5 - she is literally following the path of your Peanut.
I read this blog so I know what to expect.
Posted by: irrelevant | May 01, 2011 at 08:39 PM
Well, we can't stop you if you must go, but think about all the guilt you'd feel leaving us with only emo blog crap to read. You really should write a book btw.
Posted by: bluhi | May 01, 2011 at 11:59 PM
It's always good to read a new post. So good to see this one!
And good luck when the Peanut turns 7. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll survive my girls' "'tween" years, let alone the teen years. Sheesh.
Posted by: Aimee | May 03, 2011 at 03:15 AM
Stumbled upon this while bloghopping from dadblag to dadblog. I appreciate your writing style and witty observations. I will say that there are those of us who still do read blogs, so I encourage you not to shut down, even if your posts are sporadic.
Plus now I can vicariously enjoy "city parenting life" without giving up the comforts of bucolic Santa Cruz.
Posted by: Bradley | May 03, 2011 at 01:02 PM
Have you read My Korean Deli by Ben Ryder Howe? I just finished it and after reading your post thought you might like it. Always enjoy your posts - Jessica Kirkwood's Mom.
Posted by: Jessica's Mom | May 04, 2011 at 08:50 PM
This is something I can totally see you doing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4vkVHijdQk
Posted by: Hsiao | May 04, 2011 at 10:30 PM
Um, the whole sweating out illnesses is not really an Asian thing, it's a mom's from all over the world thing. My WASPY mom tortured me with the same remedy... maybe they're all on to something!
Posted by: Laurie | May 05, 2011 at 01:19 AM
Every time you take a break from blogging, I figure it's because you've gotten some paying gig as "Parenting Humor" guy for The New Yorker or Popular Mechanics, or maybe doing rewrites on "MetroDad: The Musical". Glad it's just that you're a slacker like the rest of us.
Posted by: Glennia | May 05, 2011 at 08:30 PM
It may take me a while to get around to it, but I always love reading your blog posts.
Posted by: Donna | May 06, 2011 at 01:01 PM
Don't go away. The quality of writing in the parent blogging world needs to be upheld by someone.
And now that we Jewish moms are sending our kids to school with bento boxes, someone's gotta muse about the way things used to be.
Posted by: RookieMom Whitney | May 06, 2011 at 01:04 PM
A friend of mine recently became a dad and referred your site on his Facebook. I am not married, not a man and do not have a child but I've loved reading your entries. I have even referred your site to friends of mine that are now new dads. It took me a couple months to read all your blogs and I've enjoyed every minute of it. Please don't stop blogging.
Posted by: Monique | May 06, 2011 at 04:46 PM
Please don't stop posting. You make my day when I get to read your blog!
Posted by: tj | May 06, 2011 at 06:13 PM
Metro Dad, I've been following you for a long, long time. I check your site every month wondering when you'll write again. I'm a 56 yr old white female graphic artist, born in North Carolina, raised in Louisiana, spent most of my life in Texas, currently living in Seattle, I married my high school sweetheart who died 6 years ago. We had three daughters. I like reading what's in your head because you are funny and young and Asian and write well. You provide me insight into a world I've never been. Please don't stop writing. Thanks.
Posted by: Jan Cook | May 06, 2011 at 11:10 PM
Please don't shut this site down its a fun read - pics me up when I'm feeling a bit crabby.
Posted by: Post pregnancy Belly | May 27, 2011 at 07:51 AM
I totally agreee that we need more REAL men blogging. The world needs more guys making fun of other guys who do girly shit like feel, share household responsibility, change diapers and other pussy shit like that. Cause our culture is going to fall a-freakin-part if guys forget how to keep each other in line.
Seriously, though, I have stopped checking for new posts a whilr ago, and thought I'll just see, maybe he's back, and yahoo, I get to read two new posts. Glad you have chosen to keep it up for now. I can't believe P is almost 7, been reading for about 4 years. Can't wait to hear her tween adventures and your reaction to them (my Twins are 8, and every once in a while I get little glimpses of what is right around the corner), but that's a ways off.
Well, I am procastinating, gotta go write a newspaper column about what a sensitve new age dad I am.
Posted by: Brian Clark | May 27, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Metro dad, please don't shut down your blog. The other day, my hubby was playing with my 18 month old daughter and Serenity started saying "bum" and then my hubby retorted "your bum!", and I immediately thought of you and Peanuts enjoyment of toilet talk/ humor, and then I thought, how cool is that that some stranger's writing at the other end of the planet can permeate my consciousness, this would not be possible in the previous generation of mums and dads. If you feel artistically drained, take a breather for as long as you like, but do share your ramblings with us! Imagine what you would be writing when Peanut is16!
Posted by: Sandra chin | June 05, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Have been eagerly awaiting your posts, emo or not; I personally would prefer you continue.
I've asked to have MythBusters tackle the fan-death issue. I'm waiting. They might find it way too easy to make fun of Korean grandparents. My husband, at 35+ still believes that shit!! I figure there must have once been a reason, like getting carbon monoxide poisoning from something running on other than electricty or ... I don't know.... it's just... ODD.
I would like to know your opinion of whether the Peanut is growing up more Americanized than you would like. Like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how worried are you?
And, yes, they already did the circus reality show, I saw it on public tv.
You'll need to come with something like African Albinos who live in De-Contamination Units to find one that hasn't been taken.
But seriously, I greet your posts like a light in a dark world of apathy.
Posted by: Xibee | June 10, 2011 at 03:56 PM
Don't stop writing!! I've been following your blog for some time now and it always lifts up my spirits and totally cracks me up! Your wit, intelligence and humor is so rare these days. And you make parenting seem so fun and show that we can laugh at ourselves even in the most trying times. I'm sure you give a lot of hope to people. So keep writing and more often please.
Posted by: Serene Tng | June 16, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Glad you didn't decide to close up shop. I read your blog several years ago and kind of went MIA in the blogging world, but I find it sad when people I go to look for have disappeared.
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envies others, is hostile toward the dissident, was equal to that gives others the life. always does not do the knitting the brows matter, in the world should the non-cutting tooth person.
Posted by: Cheap nike | July 11, 2011 at 03:09 AM
This won't make sense unless you really know Indian culture but I am a half Tamil, one quarter Bengali, and one quarter Garhwali (google them!) Indian Christian. My husband is a Hindu brahmin (that is the highest caste in India) and from the west coast, a Konkani.
I was the nail that stuck out the most and got hammered. And yes, it hurts. On the bright side, my kids are from an India that is full of people like me. Hopefully they won't feel the pain. And oh - we make all our own traditions.
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As long as your feet still on the ground, they do not take themselves too lightly; as long as you live on earth, they do not take yourself too much.
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Hi Sean, you are never too late to complete the hnellacges. However, you may miss out on comments by the other participants as they search and sift through the blog posts in the next challenge. If I remember correctly you have completed challenge #2 as well. Is that right?The third challenge comes out on Monday. Thanks for sharing your advice, experience and how you go about writing and researching for a post. You have some great advice and the processes involved are invaluable for bloggers. As to the frequency of posting - that is a really difficult one and I think the blogger needs to go with what they are comfortable with.
Posted by: Esther | March 10, 2012 at 01:05 AM
1) Would you recommend WordPress as a plrfotam for a website? I've seen a number of mixed responses from developers and marketers.2) How many blog posts do you think you should write to have any impact online?
Posted by: Lassaad | July 04, 2012 at 03:43 PM
Jim I had commented on your new ceivtrae style for your comics recently and altho I tend to like your old stuff better (less busy) I have to mention what the new ones remind me of/you have to see it: A 2006 animation-over-motion-picture movie that uses similar visual technology. It's called A SCANNER DARKLY, starring Winona Rider, Robert Downey Jr, Keanu Reeves, & Rori Cochrane. It's labeled as a Sci-Fi and the plot is described as an LA undercover narcotics agent/cop's double life as a drug user becomes dangerous, and it is totally bizarre. If you haven't seen it, Jim, you have to rent it; it's also playing now on cable station HBOZON, an HBO extention channel.
Posted by: Luis | July 04, 2012 at 04:40 PM
Yum Yucky / Ugh. The work-pregnancy combo is so dang hard to do. I remember tdawros the end of my last pregnancy while getting ready for work in the morning, I had to lay down and take a break. So it was wake up, get half-dressed, law day and take a break, get up and finished getting dressed, go to work. Gah! LOL.God bless you and Baby!
Posted by: Rebeca | July 06, 2012 at 06:22 AM
Balanced Melting Pot / I know I'm late, but I wish you luck with the pregnancy (and if you've alaredy given birth, a happy healthy baby)! Can't wait to hear from you in the new year.
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Also, if you eat something sweet after eating crab, you will die immediately. The lack of safeguards against this in American restaurants is mind-boggling.
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Posted by: friv games | November 11, 2012 at 09:07 PM
I find that Facebook and Twitter have sort of become my outtels for those many random thoughts that fly around in my head and have nowhere to go. Also the 'moments' that happen throughout a day or week are shared more on Twitter/FB than on my personal blog. I've gotten away from writing there atm, but I'm not sure the blame can be entirely laid on the doorsteps of twitter and facebook. I've always gone in cycles with my blogging. Sometimes the ideas flow faster than I can blog them and I post almost daily, and sometimes I got nuthin' and the blog goes quiet for a while. I've been like that since well before twitter/FB came along.
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