Any time the Peanut sees a family with a lot of kids, she thinks it's absolutely hilarious.
About a year ago, she caught a few minutes of John & Kate Plus 8 and thought it was the most outrageous thing she'd ever witnessed. She was immediately hooked on the show and demanded that we watch it every night before bed. For weeks, I was inundated with questions.
How do they remember everyone's name?
What happens if they all have to poop at the same time?
Do you think they all fit in the bathtub together?
Other times, she'd sit in front of the TV with her jaw dropped, her eyes wide open and say, "Holy cow, can you believe they have all those kids? That's CRAZY!"
Whenever she says that, I always tell her, "I know. I only have YOU and I've got my hands full. CRAZY!"
That always makes her howl with laughter.
But in all honesty, I'm always in awe of parents who have more than two kids. I mean, it's one thing to play one-on-one when you have two kids but when the parents are outnumbered by their kids, can you really switch to a zone defense?
Two of my best friends recently had their third child. Being fully obsessed with babies, the Peanut loves talking about the new baby as much as she can. Last week, she had a conversation with my brother (MetroBro) that caused all of us to simultaneously laugh and hold our breaths.
As relayed by MetroBro, the conversation went like this:
"And Eliot and Sadie have a baby brother Leo and he's SO TINY! All of him is as big as my head!"
"That's very small."
"He's SO TINY! It's 'cause he was just born."
"Can you believe you were ever that small, Peanut?"
"And so was I! And so were your Mommy and Daddy!"
"That's 'cause EVERYONE is tiny when they're just born."
"Uncle Nels? How were the first people made? If they didn't have a Mommy and Daddy?"
"Uh... Did you ask Mommy or Daddy this question?"
"No! I'm asking you!"
"Okay, well, hmm, do you know what evolution is?"
"You know how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly?"
"Well, that's a kind of evolution, when an animal changes into another animal."
"No, but I mean the first PEOPLE."
"Yes. The first people came when human beings changed from other animals into people."
"Does that make sense?"
"And, uh, some people also believe that God made the first people. Through, you know, magic."
"Are you still thinking about this?"
"It's pretty interesting, isn't it?"
(MetroBro changes subject before she can think about it any more)
While I struggle with my faith, MetroBro is an avowed atheist. That's why the "magic" comment cracks me up. Also the fact that later in the conversation, he compared God to Santa Claus.
When BossLady heard that part, she sternly warned MetroBro, "Hey, dude. It's one thing to teach her to question the existence of God but DO NOT FUCK WITH SANTA CLAUS!"
The Peanut is 5 years old. I'm not sure I'm ready to have conversations with her about God, evolution, or the birds and the bees.
Speaking of the birds and the bees, check out this hilarious video of Julia Sweeney having "the talk" with her 8-year-old daughter.
Have any of you guys had "the talk" with your kids? How old were they? Did it go ok or was it a comedy of errors? I want stories, people!