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May 11, 2010


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Must be something in the air these days. My 4 year old daughter yelled "SHIT" the other day (in front of my parents, no less!)

Honestly I don't know where the fuck she learned how to curse like a goddamn truck driver. Beats the shit out of me.


"...like saffron in a motherfucking paella." I think that was pretty much worth the two month wait. And, ohmygod, your daughter is so beautiful.


Hey MetroDad,

glad that you are back! but i must add that ur posts are not as funny as they were earlier, that is when you were happily married.


Maggie Kim

Ahhhh, you referenced Ramona Cleary! We were clearly separated at birth in another life where you were a girl. (I didn't think Korean boys read Ramona...)


I'm reading Sleepless by Charlie Huston. It's good.


Isn't it time to update the homepage graphic?

Love your blog!!


Great to have you back. Can't really vote on those, it's too hard to even think of them.

I LOVE COMMUNITY! Annie's Boobs - the monkey's name. Classic. "It's his Twitter account".


love you metrodad. any new GFs?


OH, she DOES look like Ramona! What a cutie!


#3 is most egregious.

Hair cut is adorable. But the girl looks like she is going to cut you in your sleep.

I agree that the dad/hair thing gets the most surprised looks and comments. My husband put our daughter's hair up in a ponytail while in line at Target, and a woman next to us actually said we should have videotaped it, that is how shocked she was to see a man doing a little girl's hair.


Your swearing post reminded me of when my son was 5 (now 7.5) and he had just gotten out of our pool. He was trying to get his towel off of the pool fence, from the inside, so standing on the pool coping.
Me: You might want to do that from the outside so your towel doesn't end up in the pool.

Son: It's okay, it won't...
[right on cue the towel falls into the pool]

Me: Uh huh

Son [shrugs shoulders and says matter of factly]: oh well, shit happens sometimes.

Me [laughing hysterically]: Where did you learn that?

Son: Grandma.

As for worst parent award: that is a tough call... locking kids in trunk is pretty egregious, however, auctioning off your daughter's virginity?! That's just wrong on so many levels. However, I think the endangering life by locking in the trunk is probably the worst.


With that expression and bangs definitely Anna Wintour for Halloween.


When my son was three (now 8) we were walking down the street when he said "Jeeee-sus Christ!" just like his dad. I could have killed his dad, but it still makes me laugh. Luckily, he was easy to convince that it shouldn't be repeated.

nice to see you back!

I think #3 is the worst. Not only is it exploitation, it's really creepy.

creative type dad

#3 has to be the worse. My stomach just turned at the thought.

And Asian Ramona Cleary strikes a strange resemblance to the 16-year old Chinese gymnast.

Moo Choo

Err... why are you still single?

Moo Choo

Wait... oh wait, where's the delete button?!

JJ Daddy's Baby Momma

Do they still make bang tape? Not that it ever worked.....


lol you hit the nail on the head with the ramona reference


Love the F-Bomb drop. You're right - context and comedic timing here was pretty darn impressive.


Will you post a picture after she shaves you in your sleep? HEHE...the cut does look pretty damn good though.


Hey MD...whatever happened to the sitcom? Any traction on it these days? Your stories here would be a great cross between Parenthood and Modern Family.


Considering it was a mistake, that haircut is adorable!!! She should know how lucky she is and how bad it could have been!

A friend's son snagged the scissors and cut the back of his sisters hair-- Kate Gosselin (from last year) style! He used the utility scissors and it was choppy and horrific! The poor mom freaked out! Straight up the middle of the back of the head. She had to get a full-on boy haircut b/c there was nothing the hairdresser could do, nothing. Now, baby sister looks just like big brother-- I think that was his plan all along...


You're bad.


It's a perfect haircut for summer. I cut my boys' hair; you'll get better with practice.

Love that you watch cooking shows together.

#3 in your poll is definitely the worst. I've been desperate enough to have #2 cross my mind, but am shocked someone actually did it.


Korean hair is so amazing. I have a niece with hair so thick you could make sturdy sailing rigging with it, and she has more on one side of her head than all of my head. Her (very very busy) mom had this way of putting up her hair in lopsided pigtails, and when I volunteered to help put it up, I saw why. A three year old DOES NOT SIT STILL. EVER. I just COULD not get all that hair contained in my hands while she was stationary.

Needless to say Uhmuhnim (my mom in law) thought her foreigner auntie was completely useless. At least you're a real dad bent on perfection instead of a foriegn invasion pinch-hitter : ).

Sidecutenote: Niece calls me her "yellow" Aunt. For my blonde hair. Makes me feel all squishy.


P.S. number 2 is definitely most egregious


you married kelly cutrone?!


This is the first time that I've visited your site.I think you're doing a good job raising Peanut with your wife. I have 2 girls,and trust me, you've seen nothing yet. Please treasure the 5yo Peanut (now).
BTW, even though the length of the hair is shorter than Peanut's expectation,I think the hairstyle really fits her-cute and spunky :)


I love to read about your little peanut. I have a grandson that has alot of the same things going on in his life. I let him spend the night and his breath was as you said. I had forgotten about all of the fun things that go on in a young parents life.


I think they are all bad in one way or another. Great post. I love to read your post.

Boom Trucks

the auction. that's totally screwed up. omg. eww. i have daughters. i can't imagine that. i'd kill someone for even looking at her wrong. who would do that?! why can't kids just play with toy trucks and dolls and stay that way forever?


She looks great in the glasses.


You have some of the neatest ways of saying things. You always make me laugh when I read your post. Keep them coming.


uhm, this isn't as bad as what my dad did to me when i was 3 years old. i was born with very little hair, and my dad was a firm believe if you shave the hair off the head, you'll have hair growing back thicker and stronger. where he got this mythical notion, i do not know. but my indian american girlfriends had heard of this "myth" as well. (i'm korean american) in any case, my mom was looking for me one day since she noticed me and my dad missing. she asked my brothers and they both said i had gone into the bathroom with dad about 30 minutes prior. my mom opened the bathroom door and my dad had my head over the toilet and he was shaving my hair off my head. needless to say, people thought i was a boy for at least the next 2 following years. i do have to say though, my hair now is quite thick and luxurious, so maybe there was something to that. btw, i would have been SO pissed at you if i were Peanut.haha...but she still looks adorable!


Peanut looks great as Ramona Cleary or mini-Asian-Anna Wintour :-) Halloween costume idea? Maybe you can tag along as Joe Zee from Elle.

Binära Optioner

Stunning quest there. What happened after? Take care!


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