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July 27, 2009

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Tyler - Building Camelot

Well said and I'm sorry to hear the news. It sounds like you've come to terms with it which I think is great and I hope you continue to write. I enjoy all of your articles and look forward to your views as a single father.

Connie

"That would require a writing talent that I simply do not possess."

I find that hard to believe, MD. You are a fantastic writer and you have this truly unique ability in writing your blog to make it all feel very personal and connect with each one of us. That's why you have this outpouring of support from people who are technically strangers but are so invested in your life. It's all attributable to you as a person, a writer, a man, and a father.

I wish you the best of luck in everything. Thanks for including us in your life. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

Heather P.

I'm sorry to hear the news but you seem ok with it. It can't be easy to write but I'm glad you took the time to go through the pain before sharing it with all of us. I find your patience, grace, and restraint to be truly remarkable (and rare.)

Sometimes I wish you would try to be more popular because that would mean more frequent posts. It kills me when you go a month without writing anything here. I suspect you purposefully do that so your blog doesn't become too popular. It's an interesting trait that I admire. So many bloggers seem to be so self-absorbed, it's always so transparent.

Nina

I'm almost at a loss for words, I'm so surprised. But mostly, I wish you and BossLady the best as you guys navigate your now separate lives. I wish I could offer you a hug or a glass of wine. And I'm glad to hear that Peanut is adjusting well.

Thanks for sharing MD. I know Yubo and I stopped our blog awhile ago, but we always appreciated your checking in on our goings-on and I've grown to care about you and your family over the years.

lumpyheadsmom

I'm sorry. All the best.

Celeste

I am shocked, but I am glad you talked about it. I hope it helps to lift the weight of keeping it secret.

My best wishes to you all as you find your way to a different family life than you'd planned.

Hugs to you from the midwest.

Helen

There are many reasons that you're one of the most beloved and popular parent bloggers on the internet. This post singlehandedly elucidates all of them. Your openness, honesty, and kindness shine through in every post. I wish all three of you nothing but the best.

Amy K.

I think I knew that something was up, but I just didn't want to go there. I'm glad that everyone seems to be adjusting well.

You're a terrifically talented writer and obviously a wonderful dad... I wish you, Peanut and BL all the best.

Karl

In your usual seemingly effortless style, you're able to describe a painful part of your life with both eloquence and humor. I'm sincerely sorry to hear about the divorce. Best of luck to you in this new part of your life.

Sarahbear

MD. One piece of advice is to have peanut meet with a therapist or counselor a few times. It's so dificult to really know how it's effecting your child and the damage is PERMANENT. Some
time with a therapist as your in the midst of a divorce can only help her better cope and insure she doesn't feel like this is partly her fault.

Jacqui

BossLady, I know you don't have a blog (do you?) and I have no way of reaching you but please know that I send you my best wishes as well. From this blog, I feel like I know you as well and I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. My best wishes to all of you.

Cathy

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. - Proust

I love you like a web groupie loves one of her favorite men she has never met. Hang in there. Virtual hugs.

Issa

Just want you to know I'm thinking of you.

I've had a hard time with the personal/online thing lately. Mostly because I went to BlogHer this past week and it made it so much more real; these people who I adore are real life people. Shocker. But also because there's what we put out there and then there's reality. It's a blurry line.

Hope you are doing okay. Am extremely glad that you and BL are able to put Peanut first.

ps. I met Matthew this weekend. Was shocking to meet people that I've known for years. Next year is in NYC. Will you consider making an appearance?

b612

"When you fall in a river, you're no longer a fisherman; you're a swimmer." - Gene Hill

Driver B

Dude. Seems like a lot of heavy stuff has happened to you and yours in the past year or so. I hope your decision to share this with your friends from the internets feels good. I, for one, still think you're cool, a good guy - whether it's the projected you, the real you, or somewhere in-between.

Spanish poet Miguel de Unamuno goes into this concept(read it in high school, title forgotten), of there being many multiple people in any one conversation - there are you as you see yourself, you as the other sees you, and perhaps also a real you - but in a way, we'll never really know what that means. If you're interested in exploring that territory further, check it out.

In the meantime, I wish all of you healing, and happiness.

joan

We can have character manipulation in our home also. To pretend, I know, is not healthy. Hanging on is not strong, I know that also. To get to the other side is difficult. More than difficult.

Thank you for sharing.

mandy

Eloquence.

I wish you and everyone in your family a smooth journey forward.

Lena Kim

Yours is one of the few blogs that makes me laugh, cry and contemplate my life. I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through and I hope you're all stronger for it. Thank you for sharing as much of your life as you do.

talda

i hope nothing but the best for you, bosslady and the ever lovely and delightful peanut. thank you for sharing even just a little bit of yourself with all of us.

NG

Wow. I totally get the public/private dilemma. Thanks for sharing something so personal with all of us. I hope the best for all three of you.

Faith

I don't really know what to say, but for what it's worth I wanted to let you know that I'm wishing you all the very best.

And I continue to be amazed by your writing.

Soul

I don't leave comments too often, but I feel that this one deserves one. Blogs are tricky things, and sometimes hiding a piece of yourself is needed. However, I have so much respect for you that you did blog about this. And not only blog, but you have this way about saying it that shows that divorce isn't always bad.

People seem to think that divorce is horrible, but sometimes things aren't meant to be. But you got a beautiful baby girl out of it. How amazing is that? You seem to have a good mindset about it, and I wish more people did.

Frank G.

John Wooden once famously said that sports do not build character, they reveal it. That's kind of how I feel about your writing, MD. Like all good writers, a little bit about you is revealed every time you put a pen to paper. You're a good man. That much is abundantly clear. I read your site all the time but this is my first time commenting. I just want to say thanks for writing this post. For many reasons, it hits home for me harder than you can imagine.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Caroline

"Conversations about past relationships are rarely about what actually happened. They're mostly about what we think has happened."

That one line is making me contemplate every past relationship I've ever had in my life with a wholly different perspective.

Karen

Oh My Gosh, I nearly fell off my chair and had to re-read this a few times. WHAT? I hope you dont stop blogging and let us in a little on life after divorce witha child from the mans perspective. Ill keep you all in my prayers.

kribss

md,

what guts it takes to share such personal information with people you dont even know but it shows what a true gentleman you are. i wish nothing but happiness for you, your peanut and bosslady.

i hope you continue writing this blog.

kribss

nonlineargirl

I am sorry to hear it. In that weird, internet way I am invested in your happiness, and I am sorry to hear things have been rough. Good luck to you.

michelle

Divorced myself...there aren't words to express how awful it feels to even write it down. Know that you and the BL will forever relish in the delight of the child, regardless of your own relationship. It's an amazing friendship when given the same amount of work as a marriage - good luck.

JK

I just recently got divorced also. I wish I felt as healthy as you sound. I wish I had the same amount of respect for my ex as you do for the BossLady. I wish I could say that I still believed in love. I wish I could say I wasn't filled with resentment. I wish I weren't so miserable.

I've already read this post 5 times. In a weird way, it makes me feel a little better each time I read it.

Thank you.

Eunice

This is my first time writing a comment here. I just want to say, thank you for sharing and all the best to you, peanut & BL.

Rebecca

Gah. I wish I had the words.

Keep your eye on the baby, and things will work themselves out. It's going to get harder, I'm afraid, but you're way ahead of the game already.

Good vibes en route.

kittenpie

wow. I'm sorry, MD, I really am. Even the most amicable, well-planned, and long-expected divorce is not easy. I'm glad you're fine and that it has, it seems, been pretty smooth for you all, and mostly for Peanut, but damn. It still sucks and you've kept it so well under wraps, you just made me jaw drop. Yet another show of class, MD. Good luck in keeping it okay.

Angela

Delurking to write, I am so very sorry. I wish you, BossLady and Peanut peace and happiness.

wendy

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. That truly saddens me in a way that I could never have imagined.

This was wonderfully written.

muskrat

I hope my message wasn't an unpleasant impetus for this post, but maybe it was a helpful one? In any event, I was concerned after talking to someone who knew, and I didn't say anything to anyone else about it. I'm glad y'all are happy and that your precious little girl is happy, too. I hope to see you next August. Thanks for always being my favorite blogger friend.

yk

whoa... I've been an avid reader of your site ever since a friend introduced me to it a while back. I'm sad to hear about you and BL, but thank you for being so honest and graceful about the delicate situation. I wish you, Peanut, and BL the best in the challenge/journey of life and hope that you'll continue to let us peek into your life every once in a while. Take care~ go MD!

HL

I'm a long time reader, but never commented before. I'm in my early twenties and my Korean parents are currently going through a divorce. Although I live on the other side of the country from them, it's still difficult to understand and accept what is happening. Reading your post made me wish I could have the resilience of the Peanut, but sadly resilience declines with age. Regardless, it makes me happy to see that the Peanut is a real trooper through a difficult time and that your divorce is civilized instead of being an epic battle that tears each other apart.

Stephanie

Hi MD...I discovered your blog not too long ago and instantly - I was hooked! I felt the compulsion to read it all in one sitting. Your writing is that good! Since then checking your blog for new posts has been a daily habit and I was elated to see a new one. However, that elation dissipated the instant I read that you and the BL were divorcing. It must have taken a lot to publicly announce that and as a result, I have the deepest respect for you.

I sincerely wish you, BL and especially the cute adorable little Peanut all the best. Take care and thank you for being generous enough to share your life/thoughts/feelings with us. It has been much appreciated.

petiteone

i always look forward to new posts on your blog. your style of writing is truly inspirational and cracks me up at the same time. i'm sorry to hear about your divorce. but i must agree with you; it takes a whole lot more to let go of the person you love. having recently ended a 4 year relationship myself, i can totally relate to that. i wish you the best of luck in finding your next happiness. :)

Aishah

I've been reading your blog for quite awhile now and you're right, it seems as though I know the online you so much that when I read the words "BossLady and I are divorcing" I actually gasped out load and said "Oh my God!" before realising a split second later that hang on, I don't even know you, yet why do I feel so affected? Man, that's weird.

I wish all the best to you & Boss Lady & Peanut.

Marc

I'm not married nor getting a divorce but I'm totally in love with a woman who doesn't love me back. I've never known anything so painful in my entire life. Love hurts but without it we'd never feel joy either.

moma3

"Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong. In reality, it's letting go."

I wish more people knew this. All the best to you.

Kelly

I wish you the best.

Chris

I wasn't sure where this was going, but I was nodding in agreement with all of your points in the first few paragraphs. I gasped when I read the sentence announcing your divorce. This post is well-written, thoughtful and almost... elegant. I'm glad your daughter is adjusting well to the changes and that you and her mother are able to co-parent as friends. Still... I'm sorry.

Evelyn

Despite the sadness of the news, this is a beautiful and eloquent post. I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but glad to hear that the Peanut is doing so well. No surprise. She's got great parents.

rina

Hang in there, MD.

You have hundreds of people behind you. We've got your back :)

mummyjaan

I'm sorry to read about this. At the same time, best of luck to you, Boss Lady and Peanut for the future.

Neil

Sorry. I am in NY if you need non virtual people to talk with during this time.

Lavanya

I come from a family of cant-exist-together parents, that made my childhood hell. Their constant fighting and my dad's absolute lack of maturity made me wish many a times that they would just divorce and let everyone live in peace. Now they are in their 60's and nothing has changed. I still have nightmares about their fights.

Sometimes, a divorce can make life better for the kids.

I wish the peanut a happy life ahead.

writerchick

MD, I've been there and my ex and I were friends too as we wished nothing for the best for one another. He has since then re-married and I am truly happy for him although our communications with one another has become zero. Which is fine, out of respect for his new wife. The saddest part of any broken relationship is that suddenly you remember the one you were so close with once before is suddenly a near stranger.

Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate it, and there is romance and love out there still for you...as I have found for myself.

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