For those of you on Facebook, you're probably aware of the recent digital craze revolving around a chain-letter/literary exercise called “25 Random Things About Me."
The way it works is people write a note with 25 heartfelt observations about themselves. After completing it, they then "tag" 25 friends to do the same. The idea is to learn the little quirks about people that may not come up in everyday conversation. As the NY Times reported, people seem to have gotten hooked on it because it's "a creative way to indulge in social networking without coming off as needy or shamelessly self-absorbed." Whatever.
Anyway, the following is how I would imagine my 4-year-old daughter would compose her own "25 Random Things About Me" note....
(1) Sometimes I pee my pants because I'm too lazy to go to the bathroom.
(2) Diapers make my butt look big.
(3) I smell like Play-Do.
(4) I once lived solely on mac-and-cheese for an entire month.
(5) The "Sound of Music" is the greatest film in the history of cinema. You really can't appreciate it unless you've watched it 50 times. In a row. Over the course of a single weekend.
(6) I'm easily distracted. I think it's primarily because...oh look, a birdy!
(7) The best thing about being four? You never have to pay for anything. Seriously, dude, I don't even own a wallet.
(8) The worst thing? Naps.
(9) If I've learned one thing during my four years on this planet, it's that boys are freaking crazy.
(10) Then again, what the heck do I know? My best friend is a stuffed polar bear.
(11) Vacuum cleaners and paper shredders scare the crap out of me.
(12) Don't tell anyone but I haven't bathed since last Tuesday.
(13) I sing Christmas songs all year round.
(14) Things I do solely to freak out my daddy: eat dog food out of the bowl, watch Barney on TV, and pretend to lick the electrical outlet. Man, if you could see the look on his face. Priceless!
(15) I'm a Mac, not a PC.
(16) Give me a bottle of ketchup and I'll pretty much eat anything.
(17) I can cry on demand.
(18) Despite the fact that I'm a city girl, I really dig country music.
(19) I know it's derivatively inane but there's something about SpongeBob that cracks me up every single time.
(20) My dad is waging a losing battle in the war against child-targeted marketing and mass consumerism. Yesterday I begged him to buy me Cinderella vitamins. He refused so we got into a huge argument at the pharmacy. Guess who won?
(21) I'm totally getting a pony for my 14th birthday.
(22) I get my big head from my dad. Seriously, you ever see the size of his noggin? It's ginormous.
(23) Hey Santa...if there's any chance you're reading this, I've been really good so far. Now it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain. What happened last year? How come I got stiffed on the guitar and the skateboard?
(24) Is this list done yet? I can barely even count to twenty-five. What comes next? Twenty-eleven, right?
(25) I'm only four but I've changed career paths twenty times already. A year ago, I wanted to be a farmer. A month ago, I wanted to be a veterinarian. And a week ago, I wanted to be an actress. How do I know what I want to do with the rest of my life when I don't even know what I want for lunch?
Heck, what color is your sippy cup?