For those of you on Facebook, you're probably aware of the recent digital craze revolving around a chain-letter/literary exercise called “25 Random Things About Me."
The way it works is people write a note with 25 heartfelt observations about themselves. After completing it, they then "tag" 25 friends to do the same. The idea is to learn the little quirks about people that may not come up in everyday conversation. As the NY Times reported, people seem to have gotten hooked on it because it's "a creative way to indulge in social networking without coming off as needy or shamelessly self-absorbed." Whatever.
Anyway, the following is how I would imagine my 4-year-old daughter would compose her own "25 Random Things About Me" note....
(1) Sometimes I pee my pants because I'm too lazy to go to the bathroom.
(2) Diapers make my butt look big.
(3) I smell like Play-Do.
(4) I once lived solely on mac-and-cheese for an entire month.
(5) The "Sound of Music" is the greatest film in the history of cinema. You really can't appreciate it unless you've watched it 50 times. In a row. Over the course of a single weekend.
(6) I'm easily distracted. I think it's primarily because...oh look, a birdy!
(7) The best thing about being four? You never have to pay for anything. Seriously, dude, I don't even own a wallet.
(8) The worst thing? Naps.
(9) If I've learned one thing during my four years on this planet, it's that boys are freaking crazy.
(10) Then again, what the heck do I know? My best friend is a stuffed polar bear.
(11) Vacuum cleaners and paper shredders scare the crap out of me.
(12) Don't tell anyone but I haven't bathed since last Tuesday.
(13) I sing Christmas songs all year round.
(14) Things I do solely to freak out my daddy: eat dog food out of the bowl, watch Barney on TV, and pretend to lick the electrical outlet. Man, if you could see the look on his face. Priceless!
(15) I'm a Mac, not a PC.
(16) Give me a bottle of ketchup and I'll pretty much eat anything.
(17) I can cry on demand.
(18) Despite the fact that I'm a city girl, I really dig country music.
(19) I know it's derivatively inane but there's something about SpongeBob that cracks me up every single time.
(20) My dad is waging a losing battle in the war against child-targeted marketing and mass consumerism. Yesterday I begged him to buy me Cinderella vitamins. He refused so we got into a huge argument at the pharmacy. Guess who won?
(21) I'm totally getting a pony for my 14th birthday.
(22) I get my big head from my dad. Seriously, you ever see the size of his noggin? It's ginormous.
(23) Hey Santa...if there's any chance you're reading this, I've been really good so far. Now it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain. What happened last year? How come I got stiffed on the guitar and the skateboard?
(24) Is this list done yet? I can barely even count to twenty-five. What comes next? Twenty-eleven, right?
(25) I'm only four but I've changed career paths twenty times already. A year ago, I wanted to be a farmer. A month ago, I wanted to be a veterinarian. And a week ago, I wanted to be an actress. How do I know what I want to do with the rest of my life when I don't even know what I want for lunch?
Heck, what color is your sippy cup?
Hilarious! I laughed out loud at practically every single item. Best list ever.
Posted by: Tanya C. | March 22, 2009 at 07:04 PM
How do you come up with this stuff? I love it.
Posted by: Jackie | March 22, 2009 at 07:07 PM
Absolutely priceless. I can't get over how big she is now.
Posted by: BunnyBear | March 22, 2009 at 07:10 PM
She's soooo pretty, MD. I remember reading your blog when she was so tiny and learning to roll over for the first time. More photos please!
Posted by: Leora | March 22, 2009 at 07:16 PM
#19! Hey Peanut - me too. And I'm way more than 4.
Posted by: Amy Sue Nathan | March 22, 2009 at 07:35 PM
What a great post! Super clever - from the perspective of your daughter. Love it!
Posted by: Chris | March 22, 2009 at 07:47 PM
best 25 random things list i have read in the last months. i almost feel like you interviewed her for this. thanks for the laugh, metrodad!
Posted by: beyond | March 22, 2009 at 08:56 PM
Hahaha...diapers make my butt look big. You have to use that as a tagline for your charity line of onesies!
Posted by: Yumi | March 22, 2009 at 08:59 PM
I love: I'm a Mac, not a PC. The Peanut is my kind of girl.
Posted by: Issa | March 22, 2009 at 09:27 PM
Precious Peanut!
Posted by: JJ Daddy Baby Momma | March 22, 2009 at 09:33 PM
OMG, all my friends and family did this Facebook meme. The Peanut's list is better than all of theirs...combined! Funny idea, MD.
Posted by: JG | March 22, 2009 at 09:34 PM
You're like the cutest dad in the world. It's so clear how much you love the Peanut. She's lucky to have you and the BossLady as parents.
Posted by: Tricia | March 22, 2009 at 10:00 PM
I have to dig up that picture I took of my kid reading the DSM-IV.
Great list.
Posted by: the new girl | March 22, 2009 at 10:01 PM
Good luck with the rest of your life, MD.
Posted by: Captain Dumbass | March 22, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Awesome, MD! Best FB list I've seen yet.
What the heck is Capt. Dumbass talking about?
Posted by: Violet | March 22, 2009 at 10:34 PM
What does it say about me that I'm 27 and at least 30% of these could have been part of MY 25 random things? The Peanut is beautiful, MD. I can see why she's got you wrapped around her little finger. Great post.
Posted by: Maddie | March 22, 2009 at 10:37 PM
Hilarious! She is so cute. I've got a great 2 1/2 year old who can represent #9. Today he spent a good chunk of time at the park making sand angels...
Posted by: Shani | March 22, 2009 at 10:47 PM
I loved this post! What a great idea, MD.
Posted by: Jocelyn | March 23, 2009 at 09:01 AM
My great-uncle wrote What Color is your Parachute.
Posted by: Sam | March 23, 2009 at 09:29 AM
Hilarious post. Definitely the best "25 Random Things" list that I've read so far. You're a clever guy, MD.
Posted by: Rachel C. | March 23, 2009 at 10:24 AM
Peanut, just for your own information - a pony is very difficult to park in Manhattan! It may not be worth it.
Posted by: Neil | March 23, 2009 at 10:56 AM
Proving once again why I think you are most brillant writer EVER.
(Peanut, just cut & paste this on your wall.)
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | March 23, 2009 at 02:42 PM
Omg! I am totally crying and doing peanut's #1 because I am laughing so hard! We miss you guys!!!
Posted by: Di | March 23, 2009 at 05:17 PM
i've read a ton of these lists and by far, Peanut's list is hands down the most interesting and funniest!! #15: def my kind of gal!
Posted by: sooki | March 23, 2009 at 05:37 PM
Best. List. Ever.
Posted by: Maternal Mirth | March 23, 2009 at 06:03 PM
As usual, my coworkers are looking at me funny while I read your blog and snort with laughter. I loved this post!
Posted by: Emily Campbell | March 23, 2009 at 06:27 PM
3B hears you on #11, but he's fascinated by the Roomba and loves to flip it over to look at its innards. 3B also says that if you hadn't won on #20, you could have come over to share his princess gummy vites...but of course you won. Same for #23...and if he's not in the mood to share his guitar right then, there's always the ukulele, fiddle, saxophone...and he'll tell you how to win that battle with Santa too.
Posted by: Papa Bradstein | March 24, 2009 at 05:58 AM
hilarious!
Posted by: yuling | March 24, 2009 at 09:00 AM
Thank you for the morning chuckle. Very clever post!
Posted by: Gibberish Momma | March 24, 2009 at 10:13 AM
Best 25 Random Things list I've read yet. That Peanut is a funny girl.
Posted by: Teresa | March 24, 2009 at 02:00 PM
I'm still giggling 5 minutes later :)
Posted by: tj | March 24, 2009 at 02:15 PM
We are trying very hard not to tell anyone about our The number 12's in the House of Joy as well.
Posted by: Oh, The Joys | March 24, 2009 at 09:52 PM
Awesome. I see similarities with my soon-to-be-3-yr-old here.
At least she can type and use "inane" correctly without mistaking it for "insane." Peanut is totally gifted (like all children, per their parents)!
Posted by: Muskrat | March 25, 2009 at 08:45 AM
Very cute!
Is Play-Do an off-brand Play-Doh? ;)
Posted by: Liberal Banana | March 25, 2009 at 01:34 PM
::snicker:: I love the Mac and electrical outlet ones. Actually one of my bosses was just relating a similar birdy one today about his daughter.
Posted by: Xibee | March 25, 2009 at 07:26 PM
What good of the peanut is. It's stated that : I'm only four but I've changed career paths twenty times already. Even though you are 4 but you must be an excellent toddler. thank you.
Posted by: Toddler Language Development | March 25, 2009 at 09:20 PM
I leave this comment only because I know you will appreciate it.
#20 - "Guess who won," is a command, not a question. Therefore it should end with a period.
Posted by: Vanessa | March 25, 2009 at 10:08 PM
aaahhh you crack me up!
Posted by: Jaime | March 26, 2009 at 02:33 PM
I would love to have my two-year-old write one of these.
#1 Peeing on the sofa without my diaper on.
#2 Eating ketchup straight from the bottle.
.... so on and so forth...
Posted by: Al | March 26, 2009 at 02:51 PM
this is so so so funny. best thing i have ever read about anyones 25 things! lol
Posted by: brady | March 26, 2009 at 05:12 PM
This was totally awesome! Best list ever.
Posted by: Janice | March 26, 2009 at 05:38 PM
awww.. that was sooo cute!!
twenty eleven.. LOL
Posted by: apoorva | March 27, 2009 at 01:14 AM
You crack me up, MD.
Posted by: J-Dog | March 27, 2009 at 09:52 AM
Hilarious - found your blog via Supermommy. Excellent!
Posted by: Natalie | March 29, 2009 at 04:15 PM
she is freaking adorable.
Posted by: momomax | March 30, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Hilarious!!
Posted by: creative type dad | April 01, 2009 at 01:13 AM
This is so cute!
Posted by: fedhz | April 02, 2009 at 08:22 AM
Odd thing is... No less that 13 of these applied to me in my senior yr of college.
Great Shot BTW.
I'm always tempted to write "What Colour Is Your Cheese?" and "Who Moved The Parachutes?"
Posted by: Teufelkindsvater | April 02, 2009 at 10:37 PM
This is very funny. "Vacuum cleaners and paper shredders scare the crap out of me." - This must be universal.
I thought I'd share my own 25 things here.
Posted by: Ben | April 06, 2009 at 03:17 PM
you should do one for MetroDog!
Posted by: Bonnie | April 06, 2009 at 07:11 PM