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January 11, 2009


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My kid says "Guess what?" and I say "Chicken butt." Belly laughs every time. Guess how, chicken cow. Guess who, chicken poo. Guess when, chicken in the pig pen. Guess why, chicken pie.

I'm from North Carolina.


Bangalore, India.

Peanut rocks!

6th Floor Blogger

I'm waiting for a blog that's basically just the stream of consciousness of a four year old. It'd probably be a hoot.


Delurking from Ottawa, Canada. I have been reading your site for about a year now...love it!


Been reading forever. Popping in to say hello. From the Rochester, NY area.


Delurking from near Hilton Head Island. No kids yet for this newlywed, but I love hearing what I might be in store for. :)


Oops. Forgot to list the state. Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Sorry about that.


Love your site. Keep up the entertaining writing...Richmond, VA.


Came across ur blog just 2 weeks back....infact the title with 'breast' sort of caught the eye:-D.

Ur daughter comes across as adorable but I have no doubt she is like any other 4 yr old.
You, her dad makes her special and includes us in all the going-ons & we fall a little more in love with her each time you put up a new post

Nancy, Dubai

Pensive Legal Alien

I'm one half of a dinky couple living in Vienna, Austria - and I do enjoy your blog!

Happy New Year to you and the Metrofamily!


Hi MetroDad,

I'm delurking from Columbus, Ohio!

My 6yr old son still finds all the "pre-school humor" funny. Especially all the physical pain of his parents and inane knock-knock jokes that make me want to spork my eyes out.

Always good for a laugh is when I feign horror at the rudeness of our 1 yr old dropping a load in his diaper or the cat walking by with her rump in my face. He laughs so hard he gets hiccups!!!

Happy New Year!


Hi metrodad. Thanks for making me pee my pants on a regular basis. I live in RI with my own little almost 4 year old bean.


Brooklyn, NY Officially Delurking for Monday

Have plenty of neices and nephews (am Mexican, so I suppose it comes with the territory) no children of my own, though it certainly feels like I have a few hundred sometimes....Your posts always manage to give me a laugh and make my day just a wee little bit brighter. Keep it going MD!


I've been reading your blog for awhile...came here from Sweet Juniper and think you are hilarious! Oh and I am from Saginaw, Michigan. I have a 3 year old who cracks me up too. The things they say... The other day she asked her Grandpa if she could have a granola bar. His response was "whatever you want". She came running up to me and yelled "Papa just said the three best words ever!"


Fine, I'm delurking. *Waves* Thanks for making me laugh more than my five year old does with her freaking knock-knock jokes.

If I have to hear the "Banana" one, one more time...


Oh, I also live in Florida.

Sin yee

All the way from singapore. Lurve ur blog for its nasty funny and honest humour. I will continue reading it so long u update it!!!!


I think your observations about toddler humor are spot-on. My almost 4yr old son absolutely loves anything to do with bodily functions; loves to announce when he does them too. His fave movie since he was 2 is 'Napoleon Dynamite'. I thought it was funny the first 10 times. It's about the only thing he will sit through and laugh like it's the first time watching it. go figure.


Delurking from Amsterdam. Yours is the only daddy blog I read. I love your writing style and sense of humor.


Delurking from the Upperwest side NYC. I read your site to get a good laugh, and to get an idea of what it's like to have a family here in the city. Frankly the idea of toting a stroller through the subways still scares the tar out of me. And I've seen how kids pick things up off the city sidewalks...and I've seen what's on these sidewalks...


If parenting turns out to be HALF as great as you make it sound, I can't wait for the day when I have kids of my own.

Boston, MA

Jeff C.

I feel like the ultimate delurker. I've been reading your site for at least three years now but have never left a comment. Just wanted to come out of the woods and say thanks for providing MANY hours of entertainment. I only wish you would post more frequently.

Pei Fen

Singapore, Singapore!
Your posts got me through my last weeks of pregnancy, and I'm so inspired to continue motherhood with huge doses of humour. Every time I read your entries, I get the stitches. Don't stop writing!


Hi there from Jackson, MO :) Delurking and all...


Plano, TX.

My kids' favorite names to hurl at each other are "bossypants" and "copycat". Harmless enough, but the vitrolic way they spit the words at each other makes it sound like the toddler/elementary version of cocksucker.


Hartfield, Virginia

My daughter is almost 5 and she thinks it's funny if I make faces and dance and scream like I just saw a mouse. It gets old quick!

JJ Daddy Baby Momma

While you enjoy the suffix of "head", we find it's even more enjoyable with the prefix "Mr.". As in "Mr. Poopy-Head".

Glad you have a new post. I had to stay away because I cried for an hour after your last post. I laughed so hard I scared my children. I couldn't even click on your page without starting to laugh.

And, of course, I'm from Savannah "The Most Beautiful City in America" Georgia.


Fan from St. Louis...

This is so dead on for my kids, it's scary. Love your posts! Love your humor!

Father Muskrat

I'm in Atlanta, but I think you already know that.

My toddler laughs when I drop her bath toys from about a yard over her head into the water. Particularly an upside-down cup. She likes the sound it makes when it strikes the surface of the water and laughs like I just recited the "Who's on First?" bit by Abbott and Costello.


I'm only doing this for the free drink.

Evansville, IN


Hey from Perth, Western Australia. Popped over from an interview you did with karencheng.com a while back and never left. Please blog more often!


I've been reading you from the beginning. You're on my RSS and still I'm way down here at the bottom of the comments section.

good stuff.


Hi- I'm in Northern Illinois. Loved your post!

Kevin G. (Chicago)

Just delurking to say that I'm amazed to see that 99.99% of your readers seem to be women. Maybe us guys are just too damn lazy to comment.

I just wanted to let you know that every time one of our male friends is about to become a father, we forward your site to them.


Hey Pierre,

Rochester, NY checking in.

One of my son's best lines at the age of 4 was when I asked when he would finally be done in the bathroom. He said, "I dunno, Dad, the poop's in charge."

Julie Kang

Word up from Long Beach, CA! I used to dream of my son marrying the Peanut (and us getting sloshed together at the reception), but she might be too cool for him already.


Delurking, read from Sarasota FL through an RSS feed, so rarely get over here to comment. Childless for now, but as a former preschool teacher, I LOVE hearing how some things never change. Noun+head 4eva!


Hi! I found you though one of my cousin's "parent blogs" and have been silently lurking and laughing my ass off.

On of the things my 4 year old niece does day in and day out are knock knock jokes. But only one knock knock joke...

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interpreting cow!

She will then proceed to laugh her ass off for about 10 minutes, even though I've told her again and again that the joke makes more sence when she says "Interupting" rather than "Interpreting".

She then looks at me like I'm some kind of retard.

God I love that kid.


Here in Minneapolis, my daughter can be depended on to crack up if my husband pretends to sing in Old English. Yep, we are pretty geeky. But, you know, he's just pretending, so we're not SUPER-geeky. Yet.

Oh, and if she catches the cats pooping. That's just hysterical.


I'm a long-time lurker. Love the site. Chicago, IL. Happy Delurking Day!


Love the site!

Oxford, MS


Kelly in Atlanta

My 18 month old daughter thinks its really funny to call her dad, 'mama'. She totally knows what she is doing which is why its so funny.


De-lurking from Norwalk, CT. Good stuff.


Hi I live in Richmond, Virginia!


Delurking from a suburb of Atlanta.

My nephew picked up the "What are you eating under there?" joke from his cousins this Christmas, so I thought we might be ready for the knock-knocks. I was wrong.


Love your Peanut stories!

Erin in Salt Lake City, UT


De lurking from Norway (first European -yay!) Love your blog, and I join the others in begging you to write more often!


One of the beastie boys farts. Either or both say, "Is there a duck in the house?" Laughter ensues.

Coconut Grove, Florida


I live in Atlanta.

I've been reading you for years. As a Korean-American mom of a rambunctious boy the Peanut's age I have long admired your writing and your loving relationship with your wife and daughter.

But I'm delurking to say that I don't think your heart is in this anymore. The rare postings you make these days seem tired and recycled, full of lowest-denominator cliche, inane banter, celebrity name-dropping, unnecessary curse words, and the obligatory comment-begging question at the end. I'm only saying this because I've really enjoyed some of the things you've written over the years, and this blog and your writing seem like a shell of what they once were. how does that song go: better to burn out than fade away?

I hate watching you fade away, Metrodad.


Still in Boston

You DO NOT want to know what my teenagers think is funny. Believe me, you don't.

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