Earlier today, my father-in-law finally lost his battle with cancer. Surrounded by loved ones, he took his last breaths on this world and moved on to a better one. No longer will he be besieged by the pain that defined his last weeks among us.
I cannot even begin to express how truly blessed I feel to have had him as a father-in-law. I loved him very deeply and he loved me too. Though we couldn't have been more different from one another, from the very first moment that we met, he embraced me into his family and loved me as if I were one of his own.
Although he was the strong, silent type, my father-in-law was one of the kindest and gentlest men I have ever known in my entire life. In a world defined by greed and chaos, he lived his life simply and honorably. Nothing gave him more pleasure in this world than his family, his God, and the church of fishing. My respect for him was immeasurable.
However, what I love and admire about him the most was his undying love for his wife. They had a lifelong love affair with one another that was magically romantic and one of the most beautiful things to witness on a daily basis. They were practically inseparable and their lives revolved around one another. BossLady and I frequently talked about how their marriage was an inspiration to the rest of us.
Sadly, my father-in-law's last days were filled with great pain. Although he could hear us, he was unable to communicate with us and could hardly move. His organs had begun shutting down and his body was emaciated from the ravages of the spreading cancer. Yet, the only stimuli that he would ever react to was the soothing voice of his wife.
Several days ago, we gently propped him up so that we could change his bedding. As his son and daughter held him, he surprised all of us by suddenly lifting himself forward so that he could gently kiss his wife on the lips and softly caress her back. It was the last act of a dying man. He used every remaining ounce of strength in his dying body so that he could lovingly express to her just how much he deeply loved her. It was one of the most beautiful and touching moments I've ever witnessed in my entire life and I'll never forget it for as long as I live. Just writing about it here brings me to tears.
It's true what they say. Love does conquer all.
Farewell, dad. We love you and will miss you forever. Though we're tormented by grief and saddened by our loss, we pray that you're finally at peace and we look forward to seeing you on the other side.
We inherit from our ancestors gifts so often taken for granted. Each of us contains within, this inheritance of soul. We are links between the ages, containing past and present expectations, sacred memories and future promises.---Edward Sellner
Condolences to you and your family. From your beautiful tribute I can feel how much of a loss this is for you. May your best memories of him bring you comfort.
Posted by: FranMag | August 06, 2008 at 03:02 AM
What a beautiful and loving tribute to your FIL.
I am holding back tears as I read it. What a blessing it is to have such a wonderful man in your life.
My prayers are with you and your family. God bless.
Posted by: Roy | August 06, 2008 at 03:18 AM
A very beautiful tribute to someone who seems a lovely person. So sorry for your loss.
Posted by: jeanie | August 06, 2008 at 04:22 AM
What a lovely tribute. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Posted by: lawschoolmom | August 06, 2008 at 04:32 AM
I'm so sorry. My condolences to you all. That was a beautiful piece, thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Jo | August 06, 2008 at 05:13 AM
I'm sorry. Your post made me tear up, your father in law is a lucky man to have so many that love him. (((HUGS))
Posted by: Spacecasie | August 06, 2008 at 05:49 AM
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I almost feel like I've lost someone too after the countless lovely things you've written about him. All I can say is if I end up one day having a son in law who thinks so highly of me, I will count my life a success. He sounds like a wonderful person and my thoughts are with his wife and family right now.
Posted by: NG | August 06, 2008 at 06:12 AM
God be with your family during these tough times. He sounds like he was a wonderful man, and you were all lucky to have known him. My heart goes out to your wife on her loss.
Posted by: Shawn | August 06, 2008 at 06:17 AM
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents to cancer and know how deep the pain is. The love towards his wife is amazing.
Posted by: Cindy | August 06, 2008 at 06:20 AM
My heart is heavy with the news. This post, though, is an incredibly moving tribute, MD.
Take care of yourself and each other.
Cancer fucking sucks.
Posted by: the new girl | August 06, 2008 at 07:11 AM
I am so very sorry to hear of his passing. How wonderful that he was surrounded by the people he loved. And even more, that he and Peanut got to share some time and she at least knows the type of man her grandfather was.
My best to you and your family.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | August 06, 2008 at 07:21 AM
I am so very sorry to hear of his passing. How wonderful that he was surrounded by the people he loved. And even more, that he and Peanut got to share some time and she at least knows the type of man her grandfather was.
My best to you and your family.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | August 06, 2008 at 07:22 AM
Love to you, BL, and Peanut.
xo
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | August 06, 2008 at 07:25 AM
sending all of you lots of thoughts and hugs...
Posted by: Mama Nabi | August 06, 2008 at 07:40 AM
So sorry to hear this. He sounds like a great man.
Posted by: Lee Anne | August 06, 2008 at 07:49 AM
My thoughts will be with you and your family. I'm sure your words do little justice to what a wonderful man he really was. Peace be with you all.
Posted by: Ed (zoesdad) | August 06, 2008 at 07:51 AM
What a sweet, sad post. Good for you for making sure you all spent a lot of time with him in his last months. You'll always be glad you did.
Posted by: Janssen | August 06, 2008 at 07:56 AM
MetroDad....I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences to your entire family....especially the Boss Lady. This was a touching and wonderful tribute. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Posted by: 1969 | August 06, 2008 at 08:09 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your descriptions of this beautiful man and his love for his family have been so touching. I fight cancer on a daily basis for a living, and will go to work today in memory of your father-in-law.
Posted by: Karen (makabe) | August 06, 2008 at 08:16 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful tribute.
Posted by: SciFi Dad | August 06, 2008 at 08:18 AM
So sorry for your loss. I hope you always have that kind of love with BossLady. Heck, may we all have relationships like that.
Damn, you write well.
Posted by: Jen | August 06, 2008 at 08:20 AM
what a beautiful tribute
peace
s
Posted by: s@bd | August 06, 2008 at 08:30 AM
It's not hard for water to return to the river. But watching it is. I'm sorry.
Posted by: Black Hockey Jesus | August 06, 2008 at 08:34 AM
Thoughts and prayers to your wife and all of you. You were certainly blessed to have such a great man in your presence.
Posted by: Brave Astronaut | August 06, 2008 at 08:39 AM
I am sorry to hear about your Father-in-Law. What a beautiful tribute to him.
Peace to you and your family.
Posted by: Shelli | August 06, 2008 at 08:47 AM
My condolences to you & your family. What a beautiful tribute to your father-in-law.
Posted by: Jen | August 06, 2008 at 08:57 AM
That's the most beautiful story. To be able to witness that kind of love is a gift to all of you.
My condolences to you and your family.
Posted by: Chicky Chicky Baby | August 06, 2008 at 09:00 AM
You are in my prayers.
Posted by: Mandy | August 06, 2008 at 09:02 AM
MD - you, BL, Peanut and the rest of your family have my most heartfelt condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by: mr. big dubya | August 06, 2008 at 09:05 AM
Tears all around in reading your beautiful words. Condolences and I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Karen in DE | August 06, 2008 at 09:17 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. May the way he made your family feel stay with you always.
Posted by: April | August 06, 2008 at 09:19 AM
My condolences. And what a beautiful tribute. It's rare to find someone so inspirational, who appreciates the little things. I am printing this on actual paper.
Hug Boss Lady and Peanut for me.
Posted by: Anne Glamore | August 06, 2008 at 09:32 AM
What a beautiful tribute. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Posted by: Kimi | August 06, 2008 at 09:38 AM
Just a beautiful post, MD. Thanks for sharing this piece with all of us, even if it made my mascara run.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Paige Jennifer | August 06, 2008 at 09:38 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you guys.
Posted by: Chag | August 06, 2008 at 09:40 AM
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It was clear how much you, the Bosslady, and the Peanut all loved him. Reading about his last kiss with his wife made me tear up, so I can only imagine what a beautiful scene it was to witness in person.
My condolences on your loss.
Posted by: Pattie | August 06, 2008 at 09:47 AM
My condolences. I wish you peaceful thoughts and happy dreams. Just know he will always be alive in your memory.
Posted by: Vicki | August 06, 2008 at 09:48 AM
MD,
I am truly sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you, BossLady, Peanut and the rest of your family. I lost my father to cancer many years ago and was brought to tears reading your tribute. You are all in my thoughts.
Eun
Posted by: Eun | August 06, 2008 at 09:53 AM
May peace be upon you and your family during this time.
Posted by: Ka_Jun | August 06, 2008 at 09:58 AM
I am very sorry for your loss. That was certainly a beautiful tribute to someone who was obviously a great man. Thank you for sharing. Condolences to your entire family.
Posted by: Chris Blatnick | August 06, 2008 at 10:10 AM
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Your post is wonderful and uplifting, even though it's about such a sad event. It's a valuable thing to be left with beautiful memories of a loved one. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Posted by: Ten Feet | August 06, 2008 at 10:11 AM
What a beautiful and moving tribute. So sorry for your loss.
Posted by: susie | August 06, 2008 at 10:15 AM
So very sorry to hear about your FIL's passing, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Mich
Posted by: Michelle | August 06, 2008 at 10:26 AM
My deepest condolences to all of you. Your tribute was very moving and lovely.
Posted by: Laurel | August 06, 2008 at 10:26 AM
I am so sorry for your loss and was moved to tears by your words and your F-I-Ls love for his wife.
Posted by: Zakia | August 06, 2008 at 10:28 AM
What a beautiful tribute.
-Shannon in Austin
Posted by: Shannon Best | August 06, 2008 at 10:39 AM
My heart goes out to you. {wipes tears} I will be praying for your family. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants | August 06, 2008 at 10:39 AM
My condolences to you and your family. Your father-in-law sounded like a lovely man! And your tribute to him was touching.
Posted by: Laura | August 06, 2008 at 10:48 AM
What a wonderful post for such an amazing man. I'm sure he would be very proud.
Posted by: Amy @Taste Like Crazy | August 06, 2008 at 10:49 AM
This post ripped my heart out, tore it into a thousand little pieces, and stomped on them.
All good, healing thoughts to you and your family, and especially your MIL, who I wish I could hug right now.
Posted by: bejewell | August 06, 2008 at 10:49 AM