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July 22, 2008

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mr nice guy

virtual friend, let's discuss this over a real live beer.

Jochen

I think I also could call myself a "people person". I am blessed with quite a number of friends (close friends, according to Chuck Klosterman) in real life and on the other hand I am e-mailing since it came up in the scientific area (which, here in Austria, was in the mid 80s) and continued to do so - around the globe.

The only experience I have with a virtual relationship becoming a relationship in real life is with my life partner. My circle of close friends turned somewhat static after a while, so I rarely got to know new people. As hanging around in bars to get to know people is definitely not my strategy and as I am not the gym-type either, I started to poke around in two (rather serious) dating sites.
What a discovery: I like writing (and reading) and suddenly found myself in a position where I could get to know someone on a completely different level. I met a number of very interesting people one of which finally became my significant other.

It sure is a completely different way of socialising and I think you have to have a certain background and personality structure to be open for that. I have (close) friends who would never or only with difficulties start relations in a virtual field (and some of those are younger than I am). The love for writing certainly is a prerequisite - which actually IS one big difference to all the "old" ways of socialisation.

Anyway, I've just started to get into the world of blogging and I must say I'm thrilled. It's a treasure and people like you (and BHJ) makes me want to join this world...

M@

Strangely enough your first poster and I have some things in common. A name, and the fact that we both met our wives via the internet before internet dating was a gleam in that quacky Doctor from E-Harmony's eye.

I think it's important not only to make relationships online, but to trust in them. No, I wouldn't send someone money or name my children after them, but from personal experience, it's pretty easy to tell who is a real person, and who's a troll.

I've been playing around with internet related stuff since my green and black screen text terminals in college in 93 when email was still all text based and if you wanted to find info, you had to dial into bulletin boards.

I've met and maintained relationships with people, some whom I've never met, for the last 16 years since I started roleplaying on a MUSH called Pern where I met my wife. 16 years later, she still puts up with me.

The thing that is better about the internet now, is the fact that by putting yourself out there and finding people of like interests and like minds, it is easier to find people who you COULD get along with if you take 20 min away from your keyboard.

Dora

My hubby & I recently made the transistion from online to in real life and it was MARVELOUS!

I write about it here - http://lifeslaundry.blogs.com/lifes_laundry/2008/07/too-much-fun-for-dessert.html

She writes about it here - http://politits.blogspot.com/2008/07/our-dinner-wih-rascal.html#links

and her hubby writes about it here - http://mathman6293.blogspot.com/2008/07/universal-judgement.html#links

This makes the 4th time that I have turned online people into real life people and I have not once been dissapointed. This last time; however, raised the bar to a new level of success. I still find it amazing how the blogsphere has transformed so many lives in such a positive way.

talda

i met my boyfriend through our respected blogs and several other friends that i do talk to on a consistent basis. in my experience, because blogs tend to be a more personal entity, the people i've met have been exactly as i pictured based from their blogs.

as the world has become more technologically based, a lot of our social norms have just shifted to keep up. as i've heard said before, the internet is the new bar.

hari

I just met someone this week that I previously only knew through the internet. Thankfully, it was everything I'd hoped for and more! I think online friendships are just as valid as those in real life. I expect that in a few years, we'll look back on this time and laugh.

Dave Carrol

I just discovered that blog today!

Yours too actually!

Enjoying both
Dave

andreaaskowitz

MetroDad,
I just dissed you on my blog, www.andreaaskowitz.com. I hope that means we can be friends.
Love,
Andrea

landismom

I definitely feel like I've made friends on the internet that are real friends. I do find that it's easier to lose track of people who I only know in an online context--I almost never think, "I wonder whatever happened to so-and-so (a casual online acquaintance)" the way that I sometimes think about someone that I knew casually years ago.

momomax

the only two people I met in real life after meeting them online first were total losers.

just kidding.

i've got nothing. that's as much as I can come up with. god i'm tired.

momomax

the only two people I met in real life after meeting them online first were total losers.

just kidding.

i've got nothing. that's as much as I can come up with. god i'm tired.

Kila

I have met online friends, and, surprise, I liked them in real life, too!

My online friends (some of whom I've known for over 7 years already) are as important to me as my real life friends. Actually, I often feel closer to my online friends, since I "talk" with them almost daily.

Having read your site for about 2 years now, you and your family have become dear to me, like a next-door neighbor.

My cousin is about to get married, and guess where they met? Online.

Laurie: That'sthewayitis

I have found that most people embody their blogs. I've only once been sorely and frighteningly off about one blogger. They are smart and funny and interesting on blog but boring and whiney in person. Quite a shock. I still read the blog but now with a perverse curiosity. How can a person be so dynamic in one dimension and a flatliner in another. Creepy.

Estelle

Were you and Peanut walking around in Tribeca this afternoon near the playground? I think I saw the two of you. The Peanut is even more beautiful in person than in her pictures. Also, I see where she gets her good looks from. You two are adorable together!

nonlineargirl

I would not count among my "close" friends anyone I only know online. That said, over the years I have a number of good friends who I met online and later came to know in person. Some of these people I now mostly have in-person relationships with, others are good friends who I mostly interact with online.

And. A woman whom I very much enjoy reading invited my family up to her town for a concert by a performer we both enjoy. A performer she came to know through me.

One benefit of friendships developed over the internet is that it extends my social reach beyond my fairly homogenous physical environment. Well, that and the fact that I can email my friends in rural Indiana, Paris and Greece and get restaurant recommendations.

Charlie Bidwell

Have you ever wondered if your "real world" relationships are suffering because of the time you dedicate to your "virtual" relationships?

Ivy C

I don't know about you guys, but the days when me and my friends used IRC to chat? The opening line was always:- A/S/L a.k.a Age/Sex/Location, and we almost always lie about all 3 of it.

Which is why I was really cautious when it comes to trusting and talking to people online. I'll always take it with a pinch of salt; if it's true, then well, yeah, but if it's not, that's ok too. And all those reports of people getting cheated by "friends" they got to know on the net doesn't help either. I'll never agree to my facebook "friends'" requests to meet in real life.

But, my best friend, a Malaysian, got to know this Swedish guy online, and they're now happily married in Sweden. And we thought she was out of her mind to just drop everything she has here to be with him in Sweden. Also, he really looked like some serial killer. Haa Ha. That was 4 years ago.

I suppose, it's on a case to case basis. Some are lucky, some are not. Though I really cant imagine MD being a different person in real life.

Mom101

I don't like anyone I've met in real life.

Bloggers or not.

ladybughugs

I haven't been reading or writing long, but I have 'met' online a couple of people I think I'd like to meet IRL at some point. It's funny, though, the folks I've become friendly with are not the people I would have expected.

My aunt met her husband online. I thought she was crazy back then, but they've been married over six years (I've lost track) and they're still going strong.

Devra Renner

I remember when I was in college my boyfriend (now my husband) came to visit me during his spring break. As we were walking across campus I said hello to those I knew and later my boyfriend observed, "Is there anyone you don't know? Is there anyone from a group you don't say hello to?" No. I don't pidgeonhole friendship. I've always had an eclectic assortment of friends. The Internet has merely extended my eclecticism. Now I know even more people from even more interesting backgrounds and places.

Or the other answer is "Yes, I will agree to meet my virtual friends in a bar, sing karaoke with them without any hesitation whatsoever."

desigirl

Dear MD,
What do you say when about 60 female bloggers spread across the world decide to throw a virtual baby shower - complete with a anagram treasure hunt and a super prize in the form of a dedicated blog filled with advice, suggestions and anything a mum-to-be wants - for 8 women they have never met before? That happened to me on April 25, 2008. (You can read about this in my blog:http://desigirl.net.in/blog/2008/04/25/the-mother-of-all-baby-showers/)

Since then we have all, incredibly, bonded together as a group and now, as the babies are coming, it feels incredible to be a part of such a group. We all moan about the sleepless nights, cracked nipples, swap labour room war stories and support one another. Some 50 of us! We have since also set up blog meets so we can meet at least some of these wonderful people who live in the same part of town as we do but as most of us don't, it is more of a virtual relationship. But, the support we each of us give and receive is nothing short of miraculous! And like I keep saying, I am glad I got knocked up when I did - else I wouldn't have been a part of this fantastic group!
So yeah, I blve you can make beautiful relationships in the virtual world, whether or not it bleeds into the real world.

SabHop

MetroDad,
After reading this post, I want to be your friend. Wow - that sounds so freaking corny - but I feel the same way. I find myself returning to my favorite blogs doing a mental check-in to virtual strangers - but then I think are they really. I started blogging as a therapeutic tool post divorce to "heal myself" - I was shocked when it actually starting working...thanks for letting me browse.
Take care,
SabHop

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ressEfformgen

Sehr gut, ich dachte als auch.

fugfruima

Al tuo posto mi sarebbe il contrario.

Bruibleinvili

Im Vertrauen gesagt ist meiner Meinung danach offenbar. Auf Ihre Frage habe ich die Antwort in google.com gefunden

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Questa ГЁ una cosa molto prezioso

Relationships by Jersey & Broncos

On "Gossip Girl," not only did Dan hook up with a teacher in a previous season, Serena is now embroiled in a relationship with a man who was thrown in jail for a SUPPOSED affair WITH HER when she was his student.

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