Although I curse like a fucking sailor, I'm extremely diligent in never doing this in front of the Peanut. Toddlers are experts at parroting anything they hear from their parents. Things that you whisper under your breath will come back to haunt you. Maybe not tomorrow or next week...but sometime.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I banged the shit out of my thumb with a hammer. Wincing in pain but seeing the Peanut right next to me, I yelled out under my breath, "GOSHDERNIT, MODDAFREAKING OW!"
Needless to say, the Peanut started laughing hilariously and began hopping around on one leg around the apartment while holding her thumb and yelling, "GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT!"
I'd wash both our mouths out with soap but really, it's too damn cute for words.
3 PHRASES I'VE TAUGHT THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT
(1) "Mommy, there's something in your eye. Oh, it's a sparkle!"
(2) "What are we ordering for dinner, lady?"
(3) "Hey pretty mama, you want some fries with that shake?"
3 MOVIE LINES I'M TEACHING THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT
(1) "Luca Brasi sweeps with the fishies. "
(2) "I drink your milkshake. I dwink it all up."
(3) "I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod!"
3 PHRASES I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH
(1) "PLEASE stop walking around the house with your finger up your butt!"
(2) "Did you eat two packages of Starburst while I was sleeping?"
(3) "For the last time, stop putting your dresses on the dog!"
LIES, DAMN LIES, OR STATISTICS?
Here are three recent parenting news headlines that I find EXTREMELY hard to believe...
(1) "The average mother of a child under 15 spends more on fast food every year than on books, music, movies and video games combined."---NY Times
(2) "A new study shows that mothers argue with their toddlers an average of 20-25 times per hour."---CBS News
(3) "Nearly HALF of all pregnancies each year are accidents."---Boston Globe
NOTA BENE TO THE THIRD POWER, YO!
(1) As many of you noticed, I finally have a new design for this blog. Long-time readers may remember the first version of this site (which we all affectionately decided looked like a pumpkin had thrown up on a chalkboard.) The last version wasn't much better. The type was so small and the background was so dark that I could barely read it.
Kudos to the wonderfully talented Half Mama, who not only designed the winning banner but also won herself a brand-new Apple Shuffle, a full ensemble of athletic apparel, and a $50 American Express gift certificate.
I'm still going to tinker around a little with the site design. Feel free to offer up ANY suggestions!
(2) The last post? Holy cow! Almost 300 comments? It made me feel all Doocey inside. Anyway, it seems that slightly more than 90% of you would want to be woken up from a coma to say bye to your loved ones and then be told that you were about to die. Andrew believes that the polling data is skewed by demographics. He thinks that people who would read a "daddy blog" are most likely parents with young kids themselves and therefore more inclined to want to be woken from the coma. He still believes that, in the general population, more people would NOT want to be woken up.
And since many of you asked...No, Andrew and his wife do not have kids. Should that make a difference?
(3) We've been so busy going back and forth to Texas to see BossLady's father that I just realized this is the FIRST time in my life that I don't have a song of the summer. Where's my "Hey Ya," my "Brass Monkey," or my "Since U Been Gone?" I can't believe I have nothing!
Every summer, I burn a CD of summer pop songs so I can listen to them while I drive in the car. This weekend, we're going out to the beach and all I've got are Donna Summer's "Stamp Your Feet" and Coldplay's "Viva La Vida."
I'm looking for suggestions, people! What's YOUR song of the summer for 2008? What's rocking YOUR ipod right now?
P.S. I can't stop watching this video of one of my favorite bands, The Roots, cover U2. Check it out.