MetroDad

The Greatest Video Ever Posted on the Internet

Due to my father-in-law's cancer, the mood is fairly grim these days at Casa MetroDad.

That's why I was pleasantly surprised to get an e-mail today from my wife with the subject heading, "This warmed my heart and put a smile on my face today." Not much puts a smile on my beautiful wife's face these days but when I saw it for myself, I completely understood. Somehow, this touching video speaks to the indomitable strength of the human spirit. It's amazingly uplifting. Few things have ever made me smile and tear up at the same time. I simply can't stop watching it.

See for yourself...

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

This video reminds me why I love traveling around the world so much. It's because getting to intimately know people all over the planet always reminds me that, deep-down inside, we're so much more similar than we are different. It's something we should all strive to remember every day.

In a similar way, it also reminds me of why I love blogging so much. Through the power of the internet, the world has become such a smaller place. Ever since I mentioned my father-in-law's cancer, we've received so many incredibly touching e-mails from people all over the world. People from Malaysia to India to Greece have all taken time out of their busy days to express their deepest sympathies and send their warmest thoughts and prayers. I can't even begin to express how much that means to us.

I hope this inspirational video makes your day just as it made ours. And may it remind all of us that, despite all the hate in the world, we're more similar than we could ever imagine.

Peace out.

Text Messaging for Dummies: Part Deux

It's been almost two years since I revealed my hatred for text messaging.

However, this only seems to have spurred my weird friends to text me even more. So, in lieu of the fact that I have nothing substantial to write about today and also because I just spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how to erase all the text messages from my phone, here are the latest batch of text messages deleted from my cellphone:

"Don't fuck with me. I know you are not at Olsteen. I'm at Olsteen. You are at Soho House with Jim. You are both going to hell. Heathens!"

"That bar in Harlem on Nicholas Ave is now a Chuck E. Cheese. I am upstairs very much enjoying myself."

"Girl arrived at 2:51 pm. 7 lbs. Toes. Fingers. Hair. All good. 5 pushes for mommy. No cursing or bruises for daddy this time."

"I'm in therapy. Why aren't you?"

"The only thing making me feel better today is the fact that you're older than me."

"Donna making me see SATC. Just being on tic holders line a joke. Woman in line said she needed to look up words while reading a review."

"Pork butts are the new short ribs."

"Bummed about Omar. A young'n did him."

"I gave up pot for Lent. Yes, I do know I'm Jewish."

"Download new Duran Duran album. Serious. And no, this is not 1986 texting your cellphone."

"I know you're a Korean Jew and it's Sunday but I don't want Chinese. I want stone crabs."

"I am sixteen going on seventeen. On repeat. Over and over again."

"My daughter just licked the pole on the subway. Another proud parenting moment."

"Just ran into RZA at a deli. Never saw a rapper order a blueberry muffin before."

"Don't come home. The A/C went out! I'm melting. Save yourself."

"Why does every toddler in NYC have a better haircut than me?"

"Living my life with new philosophy. WWPDD?  What would P.Diddy do?"

For the record, all of the above text messages were sent to me by friends over the age of thirty-five. Notice how none of them used that retarded shorthand internet slang?  That's because my friends know if they did (or used an emoticon,) I'd cut them.   

What's the most random text message that YOU ever received?  An inquiring mind wants to know.

A man without a fish is like a woman without a bicycle

I've fly-fished for trout in Idaho's famous Silver Creek. I've deep-sea fished on a yacht in Hong Kong Harbor. I've spearfished for cod in Peru. And I've battled gigantic marlin off Florida's Gold Coast.

However, my favorite fishing memories are those days of being a kid sitting on a dock with nothing but a plastic fishing rod and an empty coffee can filled with worms.

As a young boy, I spent virtually all my summers at a beautiful camp in Maine located on the Saco River. For two whole months, I'd ride horses, canoe in British Columbia, climb Mt. Washington, kayak in Lovell Pond and camp out at Sebago Lake. It was during those amazing summers that I first developed my love for fishing.

Being single in Manhattan during my late 20's put fishing on hold for quite some time. It really came down to making choices. Should I go to a friend's new nightclub with a bunch of models or go to bed early so I can wake up at 4:00 am and go fishing? Spend a week in the Caribbean golfing with buddies or freeze to death by myself in Montana? Eat canapes on a terrace in Paris or munch on stale beef jerky and gorp while patching holes in my leaky tent?

You can imagine which decisions I chose.

But recently I've rekindled my love of fishing.

Why? Because my father-in-law LOVES to fish.

As many of you sadly know, BossLady's father was recently diagnosed with inoperable bile duct cancer and has been given only 3-6 months to live. Ever since we heard the devastating news, we've been flying out to Texas practically every weekend to not only spend time with him but also to create new memories for all of us. Particularly the Peanut.

My FIL has worked six days a week for his entire life The only time he ever took a vacation was to spend time with family or go on a church convention. He's a noble man who truly believes that idle hands are the devil's tools. In fact, before we sent him and his wife to Italy this year as a 50th wedding anniversary present, he hadn't been on a vacation or left the country in over twenty-five years!

In one of life's ironic twists, my father-in-law's cancer has sadly given him time to do the things that are purely for his sole enjoyment. And, more than anything else, he enjoys spending his remaining time on the planet fishing.

So every weekend, we rent this awesome pontoon boat and go fishing together. My FIL spends days setting up our fishing gear; my MIL and the Peanut prepare the food;  BossLady and I are in charge of stocking up on live bait, lures, and beef jerky at the local Wal-Mart.

It's been great spending all this time together fishing as a family. I love seeing my FIL so energized and focused on catching fish. I love watching BossLady lay out on the boat as she works on her tan. I love watching the Peanut give names to all the fish that we catch ("hello, Marlin! Hi, Nemo!") And personally I love that this opportunity is giving me a chance to rekindle my long-lost love affair with fishing.

This past weekend, we finally got Peanut her own fishing pole. She was so excited that she not only slept with it but she also spent the entire morning practicing her casting in the swimming pool. Now, as any parent will tell you, a great part of the joy in being a parent lies in seeing your child go through new life experiences. You see wonderful things through their eyes and, in the process, you tend to experience life in a completely different way. Moments like that are so life-affirming that it almost makes you forget about all the whining, the tantrums, and the ongoing battle over taking a bath.

Almost.

And while I've always been a believer that ALL kids are cute, I have to say, in all seriousness, have you ever seen anything cuter in your life than my daughter in her fishing gear? Christ, it's like looking at bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow!

I've always believed that life is short so I've tended to take a very carpe diem approach to life. So far, I think I've succeeded. I've traveled to 51 countries all over the world and have experienced so many incredible adventures during the course of my lifetime. However, maybe it's due to my father-in-law's illness or my approaching 40th birthday but lately I've decided to add a few more things to my life list.

To start off, I've decided to start kayaking in the Hudson River every weekend, take cooking classes, and volunteer at a place that tutors adult illiterates.

See, I have this theory that, too frequently, we take the easy way out in life and are content with the daily status quo. And c'mon. Let's face it. We're a lazy nation. As Dennis Miller once said, we're the only nation in the entire world that can cook food in a microwave and yell, "faster! faster!"

But more importantly...what are YOU going to do? Tell me something you've always wanted to do but have continued to put off. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Just tell me something that you've always wanted to do during your lifetime. Now, get off your ass and do it. Put it here in the comments so you can come back and remind yourself of your promise.

Because not only is life short but let's face it, there's nothing on TV these days anyway!

 

THREE-PEAT THURSDAY

LATHER, RINSE...REPEAT!

Although I curse like a fucking sailor, I'm extremely diligent in never doing this in front of the Peanut. Toddlers are experts at parroting anything they hear from their parents. Things that you whisper under your breath will come back to haunt you. Maybe not tomorrow or next week...but sometime.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I banged the shit out of my thumb with a hammer. Wincing in pain but seeing the Peanut right next to me, I yelled out under my breath, "GOSHDERNIT, MODDAFREAKING OW!"

Needless to say, the Peanut started laughing hilariously and began hopping around on one leg around the apartment while holding her thumb and yelling, "GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT! GOSHDERNIT!"

I'd wash both our mouths out with soap but really, it's too damn cute for words.
 

3 PHRASES I'VE TAUGHT THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT

(1) "Mommy, there's something in your eye. Oh, it's a sparkle!"

(2) "What are we ordering for dinner, lady?"

(3) "Hey pretty mama, you want some fries with that shake?"

3 MOVIE LINES I'M TEACHING THE PEANUT FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT

(1) "Luca Brasi sweeps with the fishies. "

(2) "I drink your milkshake. I dwink it all up."

(3) "I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod!" 

3 PHRASES I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH

(1) "PLEASE stop walking around the house with your finger up your butt!"

(2) "Did you eat two packages of Starburst while I was sleeping?"

(3) "For the last time, stop putting your dresses on the dog!"

LIES, DAMN LIES, OR STATISTICS?

Here are three recent parenting news headlines that I find EXTREMELY hard to believe...

(1) "The average mother of a child under 15 spends more on fast food every year than on books, music, movies and video games combined."---NY Times

(2) "A new study shows that mothers argue with their toddlers an average of 20-25 times per hour."---CBS News

(3) "Nearly HALF of all pregnancies each year are accidents."---Boston Globe   

NOTA BENE TO THE THIRD POWER, YO!

(1) As many of you noticed, I finally have a new design for this blog. Long-time readers may remember the first version of this site (which we all affectionately decided looked like a pumpkin had thrown up on a chalkboard.) The last version wasn't much better. The type was so small and the background was so dark that I could barely read it. 

Kudos to the wonderfully talented Half Mama, who not only designed the winning banner but also won herself a brand-new Apple Shuffle, a full ensemble of athletic apparel, and a $50 American Express gift certificate.

I'm still going to tinker around a little with the site design. Feel free to offer up ANY suggestions!

(2) The last post? Holy cow! Almost 300 comments? It made me feel all Doocey inside. Anyway, it seems that slightly more than 90% of you would want to be woken up from a coma to say bye to your loved ones and then be told that you were about to die. Andrew believes that the polling data is skewed by demographics. He thinks that people who would read a "daddy blog" are most likely parents with young kids themselves and therefore more inclined to want to be woken from the coma. He still believes that, in the general population, more people would NOT want to be woken up.

And since many of you asked...No, Andrew and his wife do not have kids. Should that make a difference?

(3) We've been so busy going back and forth to Texas to see BossLady's father that I just realized this is the FIRST time in my life that I don't have a song of the summer. Where's my "Hey Ya," my "Brass Monkey," or my "Since U Been Gone?" I can't believe I have nothing!

Every summer, I burn a CD of summer pop songs so I can listen to them while I drive in the car. This weekend, we're going out to the beach and all I've got are Donna Summer's "Stamp Your Feet" and Coldplay's "Viva La Vida."

I'm looking for suggestions, people! What's YOUR song of the summer for 2008? What's rocking YOUR ipod right now?

P.S. I can't stop watching this video of one of my favorite bands, The Roots, cover U2. Check it out.