A man without a fish is like a woman without a bicycle

I've fly-fished for trout in Idaho's famous Silver Creek. I've deep-sea fished on a yacht in Hong Kong Harbor. I've spearfished for cod in Peru. And I've battled gigantic marlin off Florida's Gold Coast.

However, my favorite fishing memories are those days of being a kid sitting on a dock with nothing but a plastic fishing rod and an empty coffee can filled with worms.

As a young boy, I spent virtually all my summers at a beautiful camp in Maine located on the Saco River. For two whole months, I'd ride horses, canoe in British Columbia, climb Mt. Washington, kayak in Lovell Pond and camp out at Sebago Lake. It was during those amazing summers that I first developed my love for fishing.

Being single in Manhattan during my late 20's put fishing on hold for quite some time. It really came down to making choices. Should I go to a friend's new nightclub with a bunch of models or go to bed early so I can wake up at 4:00 am and go fishing? Spend a week in the Caribbean golfing with buddies or freeze to death by myself in Montana? Eat canapes on a terrace in Paris or munch on stale beef jerky and gorp while patching holes in my leaky tent?

You can imagine which decisions I chose.

But recently I've rekindled my love of fishing.

Why? Because my father-in-law LOVES to fish.

As many of you sadly know, BossLady's father was recently diagnosed with inoperable bile duct cancer and has been given only 3-6 months to live. Ever since we heard the devastating news, we've been flying out to Texas practically every weekend to not only spend time with him but also to create new memories for all of us. Particularly the Peanut.

My FIL has worked six days a week for his entire life The only time he ever took a vacation was to spend time with family or go on a church convention. He's a noble man who truly believes that idle hands are the devil's tools. In fact, before we sent him and his wife to Italy this year as a 50th wedding anniversary present, he hadn't been on a vacation or left the country in over twenty-five years!

In one of life's ironic twists, my father-in-law's cancer has sadly given him time to do the things that are purely for his sole enjoyment. And, more than anything else, he enjoys spending his remaining time on the planet fishing.

So every weekend, we rent this awesome pontoon boat and go fishing together. My FIL spends days setting up our fishing gear; my MIL and the Peanut prepare the food;  BossLady and I are in charge of stocking up on live bait, lures, and beef jerky at the local Wal-Mart.

It's been great spending all this time together fishing as a family. I love seeing my FIL so energized and focused on catching fish. I love watching BossLady lay out on the boat as she works on her tan. I love watching the Peanut give names to all the fish that we catch ("hello, Marlin! Hi, Nemo!") And personally I love that this opportunity is giving me a chance to rekindle my long-lost love affair with fishing.

This past weekend, we finally got Peanut her own fishing pole. She was so excited that she not only slept with it but she also spent the entire morning practicing her casting in the swimming pool. Now, as any parent will tell you, a great part of the joy in being a parent lies in seeing your child go through new life experiences. You see wonderful things through their eyes and, in the process, you tend to experience life in a completely different way. Moments like that are so life-affirming that it almost makes you forget about all the whining, the tantrums, and the ongoing battle over taking a bath.

Almost.

And while I've always been a believer that ALL kids are cute, I have to say, in all seriousness, have you ever seen anything cuter in your life than my daughter in her fishing gear? Christ, it's like looking at bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow!

I've always believed that life is short so I've tended to take a very carpe diem approach to life. So far, I think I've succeeded. I've traveled to 51 countries all over the world and have experienced so many incredible adventures during the course of my lifetime. However, maybe it's due to my father-in-law's illness or my approaching 40th birthday but lately I've decided to add a few more things to my life list.

To start off, I've decided to start kayaking in the Hudson River every weekend, take cooking classes, and volunteer at a place that tutors adult illiterates.

See, I have this theory that, too frequently, we take the easy way out in life and are content with the daily status quo. And c'mon. Let's face it. We're a lazy nation. As Dennis Miller once said, we're the only nation in the entire world that can cook food in a microwave and yell, "faster! faster!"

But more importantly...what are YOU going to do? Tell me something you've always wanted to do but have continued to put off. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Just tell me something that you've always wanted to do during your lifetime. Now, get off your ass and do it. Put it here in the comments so you can come back and remind yourself of your promise.

Because not only is life short but let's face it, there's nothing on TV these days anyway!

 

Comments

[Roma]

guitar.
I wanted to play guitar so bad that 5 years ago, I purchased very expensive instrument willing to learn playing it with all my heart. At the same time I got very interesting job, strated masters program, and later got two kids. I have tried a couple of times to learn it, but it wasn't systematic. In these 5 years the guitar case has built an uncleanable level of dust, while hanging on the wall. It became a signature-like piece of furniture, and if removed from the wall, it makes you feel like something is missing in the room. I don't want to hear from my wife about me not learning how to play. It is as annoying as hearing all the time - Quit smoking! (even though I quit).
I need help.

[jennster]

having a bucket list moment?
dude as soon as i pop this kid out, i am going sky-diving! no doubt!!

[Lillight]

I couldn't help smiling about the cuteness of Peanut! Whether I've seen anything cuter, well, I'm not sure you'll want my opinion when you've read this:
http://slsene.blogspot.com/2006/12/isnt-she-cutest-baby-in-world.html

[lisa k]

When my dear dad was dying 8 years ago, we took him on a drive through Fisherman's Wharf, stopped to get some clam chowder and parked at the Marina to eat. He could barely swallow, and he thanked my husband for taking him on this, what was to be his last "joyride". It was something we'd done so many times with him when we were kids, and we'd never appreciated the memories he was creating for us. To this day, I can't drive up the Embarcadero without weeping for him.

My goal in life is to create happy memories for my boys like my dad did for us.

[robinfish1]

I am always reading your blogs. I got the good information from your blog. Thank you for giving this informative blog.

[alan]

Funny. I've just rekindled my love affair with fishing also. Found a creek nearby that has some brown trout. I haven't fly fished in over 15 years. I forgot how relaxing it was. I can't imagine how much more fun it will be when I actually catch something.

[estelle]

Peanut is gorgeous. She looks so cute in her fishing outfit. Is that a Dora fishing pole? Littel Munchkin has the same one!

[Cindy]

I've always wanted to ride a horse - not a very big goal I know, but it's something I've wanted to do and haven't because life just got in the way with a 12 and 8 year old. I've also never left the country or visited the West Coast and I would really like to do that at some point.

Gotta say the Peanut is adorable in her fishing outfit lol

[Dave]

I'm going to teach a grad school course. I've never taught before, so I may be horrible at it. I might also turn out to really like and not be such a bad teacher.

A friend of mine, my old boss, died about 7 years ago. She saw it coming. She had the opportunity to summon each of her many friends to her bedside to say good bye and to give them their marching orders. I've never had the greatest confidence, so when she told me that I was the best hire she'd ever made, it was a HUGE infusion of self-assurance for me. She also told me - in almost the same breath, that it was time for me to "step up to the plate." The combination of that imperative and her praise has really boosted my life. I've gotten my Ph.D., adopted 2 kids, and have started taking on some leadership roles at work. All that was not solely due to Virginia's parting gifts, but it sure helped. One of my goals is to live my life so that blessings like that trail behind me, hopefully fanning out in all directions.

I am acutely aware these days that life is finite. It's a creepy feeling sometimes, but it is also kind of liberating in a weird way.

Sorry for the long posting. I love your site. Your FIL is lucky to have such a great family.

[jdp]

Alright, MD. You've inspired me. I'm going to get off my lazy ass and start training for that triathlon that I always said I was going to do once in my life. I've been coming up with excuses not to do it but you gave me the best advice. Life is too short to NOT do it.

Now if I could only find my running shoes. I know they're around here somewhere!

[1969]

At 38, I ran my first 5k. Next step? I want to learn how to sew.

The peanut is adorable.

[John]

Volunteer to be a peer to peer counselor for people with multiple sclerosis. (which I did yesterday).

[usha]

I am 58. I want to finish the PhD I started. and then travel. all while i can.

[William]

I hope you catch the Big Fish, which if you have not seen that film I think it is awesome and somewhat fitting for this post.

[lauren r]

My dad taught all of us kids how to fish when we were little kids. Out of all 5 kids, I was the only one who stuck with it. Those days when it would just be me and my dad out on a boat are my favorite memories of all time. I haven't fished since my father passed away 9 years ago.

Now I have two kids of my own. I think I'm going to take them fishing this weekend. It's time for us to start making our own special memories too.

Thanks, MD!

[Jen]

I am going to write a book, damnit. I've fantasized about it for years and there's no time like the present. Now I just need talent, the time, and subject matter. Off I go!

[Veerle Herremans]

You're right... Peanut looks incredibly cute in that outfit!

I really want to take another photography course so I can improve my photography skills. And next summer I'd like to go camping again in the South of France with my best friends and my daughter.

[harriet]

Lovely post, MD. The Peanut is truly adorable. I love her outfits.

I inherited a piano from my grandmother and it's been sitting in our house for 4 years. I keep saying that I'm going to take lessons but never get around to doing it. Thanks to your kick in the ass I'm going to call around now and find a good teacher.

Hope your FIL is doing well.

[mac daniels]

i've been wanting to write more for years, so i started a blog this year. next, i want to start my own law firm...i'm trying to sell the house to build the needed reserves. life's too short to always work for others, if that's not what you want to do.

[cwalberg]

MD- the Peanut looks absolutely precious. Thanks so much for the post, it's caused my husband and I to do some searching for the things that we have always longed to do. You have an amazing way with words and your blog is truly a gift!

My prayers are with you and your family. I am so glad you are taking this time to spend with your FIL, it is a time that you all will never regret spending.

[enygma]

My dad once told me that one of his wishes was to take his son (my brother) fishing when he was older. However, since my brother has Down Syndrome, my father felt that it was too difficult to take him; this is before we learned that my brother is actually pretty moderate and can handle most physical activities and sports (and even do well in them). My only response to that, however, was: uh...what about your daughters? Why couldn't we go fishing? I guess the reason is the same as why he won't teach us how to drive stick shift.
I still love my dad, though, despite these random traditional Korean male tendencies.

[JoLynn]

I want to drive from the West coast to the East coast & eat diner food all along the way. Normally I'm totally snobby when it comes to food, but I believe this would be a blast.

[Tina C.]

MD - i've got milk-brain bad so i can't remember my own put-off-plans right now. but i wanted to mention to those commenters who want to travel but can't afford it, to check into rotary int'l as they have trips that they fund not nec. for rotary members.

[Kila]

You? Fishing? I wouldn't have guessed it! But I think it's wonderful!

So glad you are making great new memories together, despite the circumstances.

Wonderful post, MD.

[Genevieve]

The best advice my dad has ever given me was when I was a teenager. He told me to "do everything you want to do & do it while you're young. Don't wake up an old lady with regrets."
I'm 35 now & I've tried taking his advice seriously. I've done many of the things on my list. I finished college, lived in Europe, been skydiving, sky sailing, and the list goes on and on.
I would, however, love to go hot air ballooning and travel in the states more. Totally obtainable, but I have a 3 year old now that is the center of my universe! The funny thing is that when I think of my future and all the things I still want to do, I think of him & can't wait for him to be old enough to enjoy adventures with me!

[creative-type dad]

First of all, I want to see a bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow.

Then, I want to live long enough to hold my children's children, and then my children's children's childen.
And then I can tell them all what those kittens looked like...

[Janelle in NYC]

Were you, BossLady and Peanut walking around Tribeca yesterday after the rainstorm? I'm pretty sure it was you guys. What a gorgeous family. The Peanut is even cuter in person!

[the other amy]

I had this carpe diem moment months ago and decided, at 41, to audition for my first play. Nevermind that I was nervous as hell and thought I was going to throw up during the whole process, just getting onstage and performing my monologue felt so darn good. I didn't get cast (that wasn't really my goal as I don't think I could have summoned up the guts to actually perform the play) but I managed to get over a long standing fear of public speaking. It was a great feeling. Next up, dusting off those many writing ideas and doing something with them.

[Kara]

I'm training for a marathon, I just won a grant to take a master class in French cooking and at the next logical school transition for Kiddo, we're seriously considering an international school experience for the family. We're independent school educators and it's one way to get a great education for our kid while having time off to travel- may as well try working at an American/ International school in Moscow, Oman, London, or Rio, right?

I'm really sorry your father in law is sick. Peace to all of you.

[honglien123]

A few years ago, I began to think that I was alive but not living; so I decided to do all the things I always wanted to do but never got around to doing. So here are the things that I've started to do:
- Go back to school (I'll be done, June 09).
- Get over my fear of wearing a swim suit in public and learn how to swim (I took swimming lessons last summer)
- Send my parents on vacation (I sent them to Hawaii earlier this month)
- Travel with the kids (We've been to NYC, Seattle, LA, Vancouver, Yosemite, Mt. Shasta so far in this year alone; we're going to Hawaii in a month or so...this year the US, next year the World!)
- Lose all the baby weight (I joined weight watchers)

The things left to do:
- Learn how to kayak
- Climb a mountain
- See the world
- Teach my little ones how to play catch
- A bunch of other stuff, but this comment is long enough don't you think?

[carolyn]

Is it wrong to post a comment so very long after the post? So sorry for the faux pas but I just found you.

I hate it when people try to piggyback on a painful situation. Dude, I'm having a hard time here I don't need to hear about your hard time. Back off and let me be in the pain spotlight already. So just kick me for doing this - but my father in law just went through a battle with brain cancer. I swear I'm not trying to piggyback, just spread the love. Or something. He was diagnosed in February and passed away on June 19th. I just wanted to say that what you're doing, with the weekend trips and the fishing and just the time, is such a great thing to do. Such the right thing to do.

Just sending bloggy love your way. Now I'll get down off your back.

[SB]

Buy a bike and ride it to my heart's content.

[Penpals]

Was just surfing the web and I came across you site and I have to say that I am greatly impressed. Thank-you!

[aruba beach wedding]

fishing is such a great memory of my youth. i have not fished in a while but always have great memories of it.

[Term Paper]

Its title is so interesting that "A man without a fish is like a woman without a bicycle" Well my favorite fishing memories are those days of being a kid sitting on a dock with nothing but a plastic fishing rod and an empty coffee can filled with worms.

[Ali]

I really aprteciape the info you share here. I get one or two opportunities a year to go out for salmon, and knowing the current situation is a great help. Many thanks to you and other folks who post on this site.thanks,John

[Sibel]

Fishing My Way To Made Of Honour Woohoo! On my last game I did my best score! Exactly the same score as Suanie and Shaolintiger, coincidentally. So then I got prinaoad and decided to post the full screenshot as well, instead of just the snipped versionjust to show that I did g